I learned to use the toilet today!

1/10

Your poor family. They had to "live in a toilet" for all these years.

ÅZT?!

This thread is a load of s*** :P

Do it like a superman!

Congrats, that's quite an achievement!

Some people wipe their buttocks while hovering over the toilet, and some stand to wipe their buttocks.

Ok

I use brown paper to wipe. Usually in pairs, so that I don't get in trouble if one them breaks down in middle of action.

Cliffhanger turds are the worst.

"Down to the balls" my favourite wiping technique

-9000 uh sorry that's negative.

Always front to back. Congrats on becoming a grown-up!

congrats! :)

Dude, you're wasting our time.

the biggest question of them all left or right?
for me it is the left one

I use my left hand to lift my whole package, and then I wipe from back to front with 2 pieces of toilet paper in my right hand. I then fold the paper in half and repeat the procedure. After I'm done wiping the outsides, I stick my finger covered in toilet paper a bit inside and wipe from the inside, too. When I'm done wiping from inside, then I take only 1 piece of paper and do the final stage of wiping (outside again), just to be sure.

I'm jelly, I still crap my pants everyday:(

toilet design requires people to sit facing the tank, and not outward Southpark taught us again

Also Toilet seats are murder

I would never share my wiping maneuver. Itsasecret

Could you teach me, please?

I don't use toilet paper.

Shut up! Thanks for post count.