Thief! Help me!

Send free SMS to your phone, aim harpoon gun towards bed piercing through and pooning the keys into the burglars skull. Cut the harpoon cord, leave enough length if you are bad at FPS games.
By this point the burglar will be attempting to flee like a madman with a harpoon in the face. Time to leave the room and head to the burglar, let him run past then grab the harpoon rope. Tag that tight like Banksy so the bad guy falls to the floor on his back.
Walk up confidently and say "I think you picked up my keys".
Get the girl.

Doesn't matter, had sex.

Wait, so someone broke and entered into your room? Hope to hell Antoine Dodson is your brother

Who the hell keeps house keys under the pillow????

Depends, is the thief a male or female?

I thought this was going to be about the game...

*leaves

Get a really long thing and stick it up his anal until it comes out their mouth then push him into your cellar, silent and solved problem :D

Take your Afaik and hit him it the head with it.

You okay there?

Stand up and be a man!

wow, is this real?

edit: naa he's playing games right now XD

Open a thread in steamgifts !!!

Get a can of spinach and go Popeye mode.

Jump up at him and use the Kamehameha wave on him.

Hey are you okay? Or did the thief get you?

Maybe the thief got him, maybe he wasn't kidding at all.
Or maybe I was overreacted.

Last time I checked,you can unlock a door from inside :v

look room
you are in a bathroom, with a sink, a bathtub, a toilet, and a door
look door
the door is shut and locked. you can see light escaping from the keyhole
look keyhole
you look through the keyhole, and see shifting shadows on the other side of the door
look floor
Upon closer inspection, you notice a toilet plunger on the floor next to the toilet
take plunger
you take the plunger
open door
you open the door. You are now in a hallway. You can now see that the shifting shadows are coming from a room down near the end of the hallway.
listen
you listen. You notice some rustling and rummaging noises emanating from the room
look hallway
the hallway has one closed door on the left, and the open door with the shifting shadows further down on the right. There is nothing on the walls except for lights
go closed door
you go to the closed door
look closed door
the door appears to be made of oak
open closed door
you open the closed door, and it emits a loud creak
listen
you listen. The rummaging noises appear to have stopped
go door
you enter the doorway, and find yourself in the kitchen
look kitchen
it is too dark for that
feel wall
you feel along the wall, and your hands reach what appears to be a light switch
flip light switch
light floods the room
look kitchen
it is a standard kitchen with appliances, and even a washing machine
look wall
you look at the walls, and discover a phone attached to one
take phone
you pick up the phone, and are relieved to hear a dial tone
dial 9-1-1
I'm sorry, I don't understand that command
dial phone 9 1 1
You dial 9 1 1. It rings once, and an police operator picks up.
You hear a loud creak
Look door
You look at the door and see an unfamiliar man with a ski mask over his head, pointing a gun at you
Talk man
You begin to say something to the man, but before you can form a syllable, he fires. The bullet enters your skull, killing you instantly.
You have lost. Your score was: 2650

Get a knife or anything sharp and start cutting yourself. The thief will think: this is some crazy motherf*cker.... I'd better leave...

/cast fireball

Use your laptop or something and go whack him on the head!

Well you didn't comment 8 hours , its kinda scarry O.o

Use skype to call emergency service: http://www.skype.com/intl/en-us/legal/emergency/
Calls to the 112 emergency number are always free of charge!
That is if you live in Europe and I see you are from Turkey, so it should work.
You can get Skype here on the official website: http://www.skype.com/intl/en-us/get-skype/
Of course you need a microphone to be able to do so. Or a headset with microphone.

In my entire life I've only heard of that happening once, and it could just as well have been fake. It was on the Violent Femmes' Add It Up (best of album), which had a phone message saying Gordon Gano's parents locked him inside the house (ignore the random Panic photos - don't understand why they're paired with this audio, it's stupid + VF>PaTD anyday, imnsho).

Do the Buffalo Bill song and dance, and ask him that infamous question he asked himself in silence of the lambs. It worked for me when the same exact thing occurred.