Have a new youtube channel would GREATLY appreciate it if you could subscribe...

Sorry but nope.
Channel doesn't seem interesting and content seems unpolished.

Don't let this get you down though: keep on going and improve it step by step. You never know what happens :)

bump

Have you thought people would unsub after the giveaway?

How to fast report him?

I'm struggling with it too. My advice is to find someone who can do thumbnails and just make everything as professional as possible. Invest in a decent mic and grab a hold of Sony Vegas, Audacity and DXTory. Denoise vocal tracks. Edit a few "best of"moment videos, I find they're pretty popular.

Then again I've got like a hundred subs myself so I wouldn't really listen to me tbh.

You have charisma and good communication skills. Keep doing it and improving, you have future. See this beginning of your channel as a learning experience. Don't worry about being a big hit just now. :)

The overall quality of your video is not so good. I advice you to seek help from someone with more experience, learn everything from them (recording, editing...). Also, you must remember that in order to get subs you need more people to watch your videos, not the other way around. Take time to come up with good names and descriptions for your videos, try to optimize the tag (I don't remember what youtube calls it), the more tags you use the more chance it might show up when people search sth.

I'll bite man, I'm subscribing to you. I'll comment on a video that catches my attention :) good luck