Thats sucks man
I've been having health problems for almost 3 years, and I'm only now seeing signs of improvement
I hope you get better and it doesn't take so long for you
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I've been there recently. From October to December, all downhill. It doesn't matter if you're good or a scoundrel. Bad things happen. It's bad to hear your situation isn't improving.
For me, I often use the analogy that you don't need to drop a whole bucket of water over a glass to overflow it. Just one drop is enough, if the glass was already full. But this December they threw at me the bucket of water. With the bucket. And the glass is broken. And nothing has changed since then, I'm trapped in my own jail and I don't see any exit.
So everyone, and you Lugum, take advice from an expert: If you don't change anything, nothing changes.
In my case, my problem is zero motivation to even try. And that's very sad.
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But even if you do make changes, like i got rid of my cat Bowy (which caused a lot of grieve with and without, and still offcourse miss her from time to time hoping that would create some peace), now i am still getting stuff thrown at me still anyway, but with her perhaps i wouldn't have been alone. And i think a relationship, with mutual support/love etc, that could really benefit me, but it's not up for grabs and for some even unreachable, and i am also fearing that's a jail i never get out of (being alone forever, never get children) while it could happen next week, love it's so unpredictable, but you need to know people, go to places etc they don't come at your door.
I am eating more (although bread, but it's better then nothing), i got a threadmill just to get some exercize, and haven't drinked alcohol for 6 months, even all those things didn't make me feel 1 single procent better.
And then there are things just beyond your control, like waiting months on doctors and checkups.
I would be curious as to your situation, but most likely you don't want to talk about it, i understand, and therefor i (or someone else) can't give you proper advice.
But (unless you live in australia) we have gone through the dark (and here atleast very rainy) months, that also never makes anyone cheer up. I agree with you some people's glasses are half full (taking on things also positively in life, others not, and i am also such a person).
You mentioning jail always reminds me of that queen song, i done my sentence, but commited no crime.
Perhaps look for someone that can help you? And yes in these days it's even hard to find someone, or waiting months on a list.
As i said above, especially if you don't have a large group (family/friends or relationship) around you and have to face things pretty much alone yeah i can totally understand you it's making things and your motivation even harder.
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Changes can be good or bad. Not changing anything in a bad situation is always bad. I've been like that, in a bad situation doing nothing, for years. Then something happened, a miracle. Not like divine intervention, just something that ever after witnessed, you still can't believe it's true. That gave me 5 years of ups and downs and changes and hopes, but it's all over now.
No, I don't like to talk about my problems anymore. Probably 10 years ago I would write entire essays here about them, but now I mention them in unspecific ways, at most.
And I do have help, I have the luck of being patient of the best shrink I've ever met in my (sadly) long list of mental health professionals I've met in the 2nd half of my life. However no matter how good is the professional, if the patient is not proactive (serious word there), not much they can do.
Sorry I'm not much encouraging. You're going through a bad time and my talk is pretty depressive. I wish I had energy to encourage you, or real good advices to follow. The only one I have is from Finding Nemo: keep swimming.
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Well my luck is i have a new terrible shrink, and he is obsessed proving my meds are an addiction (while i have been without many times). And i quit alcohol myself 3x times for a long period (and this time permanent, however it can ease the mind it also has it's downsides) while i already could have had hypnosis f.e and been done with it, it just prolonged the problems unnecessarily longer.
I know, and i am not expecting anyone to help, nor perhaps anyone can, i think where you mention essays, i am in that phase, but also going beyond that phase in that you find yourself just talking in circles without it really changing anything.
Anyway thank you, and best of luck to you too.
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I feel you, I had hopes with 2024, but the year isn't goping well tbf. Last weekend, when I finally got some decent nwes, the day after my car's windshield got smacked, so another thing to the pile!
I've always thought that after some bad things, good things have to come, so I hope our year goes for better from now on, wishing you the best Lugum ^^
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A storm or an accident?
Yeah like karma and all, i know most people get their ups and downs in life, but just some more then others for some reason, it's not exactly equally divided, maybe our ship is still yet to come (perhaps winning a big lottery or something). :p
They always say money doesn't buy happyness or health, but you can sure do a lot of nice things with it that make you happy (and make up for all the bad things that happened).
Thank you and hope the very best for you soon too.
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A pretty random accident. I don't usually park on the street where I live because it's short and there are always a lot of cars parked. That day I found a spot and parked almost in front of my door. Well, hours later, a guy parked his bike behind for 2 minutes to pick up a thing from a store, and the bike fell of by itself, with the bad luck that the brake handlebar hits directly in the windshield edge, causing it to shatter into pieces. 1 cm lower and nothing would've happened but it is what it is. Fixed already (insurance managed it quick) and luckily it didn't rain in the meanwhile.
And yes, I underline everything you said, crossing my fingers for that lottery price hahaha, it doesn't buy happiness, but it gives you a bit more freedom!
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It sounds like you're going through a lot, good luck with everything.
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These past few years have been the very first of my adult life, and ever since things have only gone downhill, i never seemed to find my vocation in life, i graduated highschool with 18 years of age, i am now 21 and have done literally nothing in all that time, no studies, no work, no nothing.
Most of the years i found something to pass the blame to, at first it was covid (My entire last year of highschool was virtual), then all my life problems suddenly passed responsibility onto my absent father, then i got a hernia and "oh no, another setback", when all this time, the one to blame was simply me and my incompetence, also depression, but at this point, i can't be sure if i couldn't do anything because of my depression or if im depressed because i didn't do anything.
I'm at a point right now where i feel so done with everything even though i haven't done jack shit, i don't really know where to go from here, i feel useless, worn off, and heartbroken, but oh well, thats life, i guess.
At least this year i have a little more hope, i decided to get into university, its not a full blown career, but it's something, it's called Web Developing Technician (im not sure if it's written correctly, i do not live in a english-spoken country and never knew what this is called, even chatGPT can't help me lmao) so yeah, at least i have a clear objective now, i should also start working tho, but i am very afraid to overload myself because of all the overdue responsibilities i have, start doing everything at once and then go back into doing nothing, so even tho my life these last few years has been practically hell in my mind, it's one step at a time.
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Many youth suffer(ed) from depression after covid, you aren't the only one and it's worldwide, you have one thing going for you still and that is your age.
There is nothing wrong with taking a lazy year or even 2 or 3, life is short (we already spend 1/3th sleeping) you got a whole life ahead of you so don't forget to enjoy it, unlike me, i could already be over half, and agewise i could have been your dad even.
And you got a thing going for you that you go to an university that many might never do in their life, just try a job, definitely don't go working 40 hours, even if it's 1-2 days and perhaps if you can do more, do more, and if it's not working out, just quit.
Are you seeking help for your depression? Don't try it alone, and i don't know your friend/family group, but i am guessing it's small, ifso try out a sport, a hobby or other activities (soup kitchen) and be around people, that's usually just the best way to tackle depression.
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Yeah, pulling a job might be good, some part time thing or something, plus i think the university told me that this type of "career" supports part-time working.
No, i am not currently seeking any help for my depression, my emotional pillar is my best friend lmao, it's not healthy, i know, but i did use to go to the psicologist, some years ago, i remember he prescribed me Escitalopram and before that i tried some other one i don't remember the name of, i stopped going after a while and shortly after i stopped taking the pills, mostly because i was not going to the psychiatrist anymore, so i did not get any more prescriptions, but also because the pills, although they made me feel generally better, made me incredibly sleepy/groggy all day, so yeah, that was that haha. And yeah, about activities, i do want to start the gym now, but oh well, my life these last few years can be summarized as "Oh i was thinking of doing..." "Oh i was thinking of starting..." and similar variations.
But yeah, i hope life gets better, for both of us, for everyone in this thread, life sucks sometimes, but i guess it can also be great sometimes, the thing keeping me going is thinking that if i can reach this low, i cannot imagine how the highs feel, also the little things too, trying out stuff, visiting places, i want to do that stuff, and i hope you do too, you still can find things to do, you can still enjoy life, i think you said you wasted your life, but even then, you're still alive, aren't you? Give it time, just like you told me :)
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I also tried many pills, and i think i am a bit overtolerant for them which isn't also helping, why i am seeking last attempts in hypnosis or emdr (i heared positive things about it) maybe that's something for you to think about, personally i would prefer groggy over depression, but there are all sorts of medicine, you should have gone for another one, but i can also understand just talking to them feels like it's not really helping you.
I got a new shrink and i am now waiting 4 months and he feels like i am getting prescribed too much meds while i am fine with what i get and so was my previous shrink, while i could have started on treatment like hypnosis in january and perhaps even been done and "treated", i got a next appointment on tuesday and i am not going to hold back how angry i am at him, despite possible consequeces.
Yeah i am alive, but at to what end? Offcourse you can always meet someone, but my biggest wish in life is getting children, and you can have them at 70, but i want someone my own age so i feel my biological clock ticking the same as a woman, and i pretty much given up on the whole career thing (which also means it's financial impacts unless i still am lucky enough to win the lottery some day) i mean i could and should have that 20 years ago and i (noone has) just don't have that crystal ball telling me it will still come .
Or having that time travel machine and going back to your younger self and say hey watch out for this and don't do this or that, i hope with my story atleast you can find a way to appreciate your life even more and not fall in the same "trap" as i did and waste more then just a few years.
There is also a quality of life, and right now the quality is very low, i am waiting mostly on getting operated or whatever phsyically because if you feel fine physically then you can tackle the mental stuff better, but i can't rush those waiting lists and i have waited a pretty amount of years in that even for me while it brought me a strong mindset, that even i reached my limit.
And i also had an uncle that has been unwillingly alone all his life, so that example is never good for me to think about either but your chances on "having it all" are much higher then mine, doesn't say mine is impossible either, but much lower, something do has to change in my life to atleast mingle and let myself meet people (and a potential partner) as they don't come knocking at your door.
Things are always easier said to others then doing "it" yourself. :p
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Yeah, i do prefer groggy over depression, but it got to a point where i felt like i was before, when i was "just" depressed, i couldn't do anything and that got me even more depressed, when i was dazed all day from the pill, it felt the same, it helped but probably because i was thinking about sleeping all day.
I didn't know hypnosis was a treatment for depression, like you said, seems like a good thing to try out, in my country i don't think it is "supported", or at least i've never heard of it, but maybe i'll look into it, hope it goes well for you if you get to try it out!
And yeah, shrinks can be assholes sometimes, i actually had a "fall-out" with mine, last time i went to him he pissed me off so much i stopped going, he was asking me to start doing something, i don't know what, some part of my daily routine, then one day he was just accusative against me, telling me i wasn't complying with his request's or something, the accumulation of not feeling helped and him treating me like i was useless made me not want to go there anymore. haven't tried another psychiatrist yet, but i feel like at this point it's innevitable for me to end up going back.
I'm sorry to ask Lugum, but what is the "trap" you are talking about, if you want to share, obviously, but yeah, i understand what you say, thanks for telling me, i guess what i mean is, everyone ends up dying with at least some regrets, at least that's what i think, so you can only make the best of what's left, i don't know your exact age, and i know you're only talking about your past because you're talking to me, so i don't mean to treat you like you "dwell too much on the past" or something, but even if you do, try to live in the now, try to make plans, try to explore things, like you said, activities, go places, meet people, that's what i meant by saying you're alive, you can do stuff, or even if you can't, you can enjoy stuff, we live, make money, then die, might as well try to live in the moment, maybe you can't have kids anymore, maybe you can't find a woman anymore, but then, if you don't think it's possible, why would you not stop thinking about it? I mean, i know it is your life goal, so i don't mean discarding it, but just, try putting other micro-achievements in the way, life is unexpected, maybe when you're not looking for love, that's when you'll find it, sounds cliche as fuck, but it's true, last 3 years i've been fervously using dating apps, even talked to a few women, Happn, Tinder, Bumble, Boo, the list goes on, never even got the chance to meet any of them, at this point i stopped, i hear a lot about how you "shouldnt look for love, love will look for you" and phrases like that, and i'm starting to think they're true.
I'm really sorry if this sounds like im telling you what to do or something, i guess i just started writing and didn't stop, but i hope that something of what i said helps you out in any way, even tho im not very good at writing heartfelt stuff, even less while not knowing you that much, i just hope that from stranger to stranger, this helps you.
Lastly, i know things are easier said than doing it yourself, so im sorry if it feelt like i was doing so, my best friend also goes through stuff similar to me and i learned to try and speak in a genuine, "general" way, dont say anything too specific, like for example, not say anything concrete would solve depression, don't make the other person feel like what you're saying is the only option they would have, but i sometimes slip up, i am just not very good at writing and keeping consistancy and it gets even worse when writing in english, but yeah, just know im not saying these things would suddenly solve your life, maybe they won't, it's just something for you to read and maybe consider if it applies to you, again, i do not know you, how your culture is, where you live, so it would be pretty hard to say anything concise, just hope it helps you.
Hope you can solve your medical problems and the hypnosis or any treatement you try from now on is successful, also hope the shrink situation gets better too.
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I not heared the combo of hypnosis versus depression myself, but since they work on feelings or how you look at things, be it anxiety, smoking etc i can't see why depression wouldn't work, it doesn't hurt to atleast check out.
The trap of thinking everything in life will work out the way it supposed to get, that stuff will just come at your door without having to do a single thing for it, but also the trap of not finishing your education and with all the bad results that come with it, like my life went.
Everyone got their ups and downs, but some just got more downs (and not even some ups for whatever reason.
It's what JMM72 said: https://www.steamgifts.com/go/comment/cNDQ0Rg The feeling of being in "jail", perhaps he can explain it better.
Because tinder etc are perhaps a bunch of dating apps for your generation, personally i find it artificial to judge someone on their looks, i rather see a whole profile, and while many are constant on their phone (even too much like some do 4-5 hours) luckily i am not and skipped that generation, although i must honestly say i am glued to my pc, but it's a lot bigger and ergonomical with a keyboard and mouse.
I can type fast on a pc, but on a phone i'd be like letter for letter.
I know very well especially in this age men still can find someone at 46, i even heared it from a friend, i am 43, so there is still some time (minus it takes 9 months for a woman to get pregnant) it's not all lost, but staying at home without making the changes then for sure i am not increasing my chances to find someone, but if i reach a certain age and point, i don't think i can go on living with the idea of no children.
Before my move i lived extremely long with my parents, and then i still had 1 free datingsite but women always got turned off by living at home (while after corona that became a common thing because we got a big shortage of houses and we can't build because polution.
And i am not that unattractive if i say so myself, so there shouldn't be a reason that there shouldn't be 1 person that's not interested in me.
I know another supermarket here had special single baskets, and i asked my own supermarket manager to try out that idea, he said he would contact his colleague, but i don't think it's coming, and beside that far away board game club, i still haven't found any other ideas about how to meet people, note if your funds are low, that also decreases your chances.
But apparently there are 1 million people here that are lonely, but somehow finding them is a needle in a haystack and around christmas i did try out this christian lunch and dinner, but either there were couples or single men, i did not even find 1 single woman (of interest).
Thank you, i appreciate your words, and i hope all the best for you too and that you find a way to get through it all.
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Yeah, i also think alike you in that about finding it "artificial" to judge someone by their looks, i just felt like lately that was my last and only option, at least for the moment being, these last few years i've spent lashing out at myself and coming to terms with the fact that i've already missed out on a really good type of love, young love, and i don't mean youth love, i guess i could still have that, i mean the highschool love, having that highschool sweetheart, maybe it's just over-romantisized, but it just hurts, knowing that i tried and couldn't get it, i declared my love to the new girl in school in the middle of the first year of highschool, i found her too attractive not to go for it, plus i was scared someone else would ask her out first, she rejected me, i got bullied pretty hard the next few years, pictures edited of me "crying" with the phrase "forever alone" below it, sounds incredibly stupid now, but it hurt at the moment, i was just a kid, i guess that's where most of my depression comes from tho, in my younger, teenage years i was trying SO HARD at everything, i wanted to be into everything and liked by everyone, but my demeanor and looks didn't help, i was pretty fat, short and behaved like your typical class clown, nowadays, all of that has taken a toll on me i guess, and it all reversed, i grew in stature, and look good, i don't behave like such a clown in person but i just am not so outgoing anymore, im not an extrovert like i used to be, i care too much what people think, idk, i just keep to myself nowadays, i guess it has it's pluses tho. Sorry, i just started rambling, i guess where i was going at the beginning is that nowadays, due to all the romantic and just generally societal "failures" i've had, i just tend to think dating apps are just a "safer" bet, not so much backlash if you fuck up, not so much pressure, it's a matter of when i start finding the courage to start taking risks.
I may not know the term, but what is a "single baskets"? Common sense tells me it's like a basket of a certain color that is basically to let people know that you are single and open to a relationship so you can meet someone at the supermarket? It sounds amazing but maybe it isn't what i think it is.
Have you ever tried blind dating? Im just saying this because i've heard of it, but again, here in my country this isn't regular practice, which just sucks, but i think that would be a cool thing to try out if you find a place that does events of this kind or maybe a dating app that works this way.
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I can somewhat relate in that i been bullied too in school, and perhaps partly a reason why i dropped out at 15 and we both got "scarred" by it, and i know someone even got ptsd from it, we all experience and deal with it differently, the deal is not make you get scarred by it for life or define you, because then those bullies have won.
I did get my high school diploma eventually through selfstudy, but it only got me an odd job here and there, and thus why my whole life stumbled to where i am now, my body isn't really suited anymore for hard physical labor but to get a desk job you often need a degree.
In your life you can get rejected many times, be it women, be it jobs, be it people in general just don't let it get you down permanently and i hope you can get confidence back, but do also watch out for fake stuff on stuff like tinder and offcourse never ever send someone money (that sounds stupid but plenty that do) you may get 20 no's in life, but all it takes is just 1 glance, 1 yes.
The safest bet is stuff like a job (unless like me if you do have jobs and they are all male environments like construction work. :x) or volunteer stuff etc, because then you don't really got that pressure of impressing someone, then you just talk in a friendly way and if there is an attraction it will go further, and yeah i know it doesn't always have to happen that way, but then again for me it's also my own fault that i often did not go out there in that open world.
Yeah it's exactly that, special colored baskets to let people know that they are single, then again sometimes you can just look what food they buy to see if they are single. :p But yeah no it would definitely makes it easier for a small talk offcourse without feeling like you harass someone. There was one evening where i came across a girl, we both stood still, looked at eachother but i was afraid to say something, and we just moved on, and haven't seen her since.
For a blind date you have to be introduced by someone or through something, unless you mean speeddating, where you go to a place and talk like 2 minutes with a girl, then on to the next and so forth and at the end you fill in a form if you want to see that other person again or not, and yes i would definitely try that, but for some reason some of those events only target higher educated people, but it also doesn't seem to be anywhere closeby to where i live.
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"You may get 20 no's in life, but all it takes is just 1 glance, 1 yes" damn Lugum, you're a damn poet, it is very true what you say, and i recognize that fact, so it's a weird feeling, even tho i can't approach women and even if i saw the prettiest woman in my life, i would not say a word to her, deep down, i know that i wouldn't be losing anything by talking to her, so that is what makes it so weird, i know what i have to do but it seems like i don't have the strenght to do it, although i feel in most situations, this is a shared feeling by many.
That thing about the time you saw a girl and didn't talk to her, that's some movie stuff right there man, maybe you should frequent the market more, maybe start buying in little quantities so you force yourself to go there more often, that may be the love of your life, or maybe just someone to talk to, i never thought of how good the going to the supermarket "strategy" is, but it's just a safe way of meeting people i think.
Yeah, i meant exactly that, speeddating, my bad, sucks that it doesn't happen anywhere near you, maybe it's not as common as i thought it to be, maybe it's just movie shit, i just thought it a great idea to keep it in mind in case you ever found out about an event taking place near you.
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Nah i just read too many of those wisdom tiles in the bathroom. Kidding. :p
Well unless you're a brad pitt or something many women wouldn't walk up to you and ask you for a cup of coffee, it's us men that have to usually do it, women can flirt though with you, although as us men, sometimes we also don't see that.
Even if a girl is taken noone minds a compliment or even getting hit on once a while, and yeah the worse a girl can say is no, and then you move on, plenty of fish in the sea as they say.
At 20 you aren't really fishing in that married pond, but i also look at women to check out wedding rings you know, stuff like that but sometimes a ring is just a ring to them, but vice versa a woman could see me wearing nothing (then again if i would be married i still wouldn't wear a ring, i just can't stand having things on me, even a phone or a watch).
That event/moment was about 2-3 years ago, and the problem is i rather go as little as possible to the grocery store, last summer i went much but due the long period of bad weather and my declining health and that it's a long bike ride i don't go much anymore, i even have heavy stuff (or big bags of toilet paper) delivered and stock things.
I also tend to forget faces, and we have 42000 people in this town, every day when i go to the store, beside the people working there, i don't ever recognize faces like oh it's you again, every time they are new to me.
I also don't have a drivers license, so my surrounding is also very small in that way, and the whole "higher educated" thing, we even got a special website for higher educated people to date with eachother, even a site for meeting married people, it's twisted but like why can't a cashier be in a relationship with a lawyer or doctor?
It's definitely not common as i also thought it would be, when i started googeling that a few weeks ago, might depend on country.
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Damn, well, sucks that you couldn't remember her face, but i'm 100% sure you will recognize the face of your other half if you see them again, even if you easily forget faces (Im not saying that girl is the other half, could be anyone).
And yeah, the "cachier cant be in a relationship with a lawyer/doctor" thing, it's all about the economic enviroment, most times, having more money automatically/naturally leads to you surrounding yourself in a completely different enviroment than someone who is more on the "poor" side, and i don't think a doctor wouldn't like/would hate the idea of being with a cachier, it's just that maybe it's as hard for them to find you as it is for you to find them, like you said, they have their "meet other higher educated people" site, it's idiotic, i don't know who thought about making love something economically gatekeeped.
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Well there is 1 friend left that i have, but she is taken and due all sorts of circumstances we haven't met for a long time and she was supposed to come september, it's just a complication/mess on it's own, it's a soulmates thing (having a strong spiritual bond with someone) but even soulmates don't have to be together in this lifetime (perhaps a previous one).
Being 43 years i just don't see it just happening in the grocery store or whatever store anymore, i really think i need to find something to do to meet people (even friendships) then there is no pressure like i said before, no expectations and much easier then constantly feel like having to be "on the hunt".
In the 80's and especially much earlier it was very common that women stayed at home and watch the children, and men brought in the paycheck, back then the whole education difference was never an issue, but times have changed.
And i don't even mind being a stay at home dad taking care of the kids but that's still generally frowned upon for some reason. It's so imprinted in our minds that men have to bring home the bacon, but these days to even remotely have it somewhat good, get a mortgage, you are even forced to both have (good) jobs then again taking your kid to a daycare usually cost you as much as just working.
Anyway, we gotta keep the faith that things will work out for us.
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Welp, remember the new girl i told you about and how i asked to be my girlfriend? Welp, i must be god's laughing stock, because as it turns out, she ended up being my best friend, not just female best friend, just actually best friend, she is practically my everything now lmao, and she also lives far away (we live 1000 kilometers away or around 600 miles), so i am in the same boat with you there, but yeah, ever since i confessed my feelings, although we distanced from each other for about a year, after that things just got closer between us, we started knowing each other more and nowadays i actually think she must be my soulmate, but oh well, she's had a boyfriend for a while now, can't help but have this constant reminder about her and thinking i fucked it up, i wish there was a way to know if she would've said "no" no matter what i said, then i would be so relieved, knowing that it wasn't just something wrong that i said, but oh well, "We accept the love we think we deserve".
Yeah, in general, i really think things will work out in the end, and in the meantime, although it's a "morbid" thought, it's always eased my pain knowing there are others that face it too, albeit at different scales, but yeah, it's a human thing, there's always a happy ending or at least neutral haha.
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Check out Paiq, Heb mijn vriendin daar ontmoet (in zelfde regio als jij bent). Maar datingsites suxx over het algemeen, deze geen uitzondering
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Je zal het vast al weten, maar het lijkt mij verstandig eerst aan jezelf te werken. Een sterke houding (fysiek/mentaal) en meer zelfvertrouwen (als dat nodig is) maken je aantrekkelijker op 43 jaar. Gebrek eraan is een (onbewuste) afknapper voor de dames. Ook al ben je ziek, je kan er aan werken. Niks komt vanzelf en dames zullen het merken. Succes !
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Ja ik ken dat hele eerst aan je zelf werken ding, maar die vlieger gaat niet altijd op vind ik en soms ook een cliche.
Er mankeert niks mentaals aan mijn houding maar op een gegeven kan het voor een ieder gewoon even te veel worden dat je emmertje niet overloopt maar je vloer blank staat, en als je gewoon iemand had die zei kom op harold, of ik hou van je kan het je er zo doorheen trekken.
En fysiek kan je ook niet altijd iets aan dingen doen, je weet ook net zo goed de lange wachtlijsten hier, mijn moeder moet 2x een jaar wacht voor een oogoperatie.
En ik ken een vriendin die er net zo doorheen zit als ik, maar wel een gezin en kinderen een drukke baan en door moet, maar het trekt je er wel doorheen, wij verschillen verder niets alleen zij heeft het "geluk" van te voren een gezin te hebben.
Bedankt.
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Hey, life can be hard as hell sometimes...
Last year was the one for me . a big stomach surgery + eye injections each month. And some complicated personal issues too.
But that came to pass, mostly. So hang in there, and do not hesitate to vent on the forum.
We read you, we try to help you.
At least i will.
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Ouch, just the idea of it sounds really painful, injections in the eye, like with a needle or you mean drops?
Hope things got/get better for you too.
Thank you, i really appreciate it, and i am trying to hang in there, but it's getting harder also when you just don't know physically when things can get better, or when you meet a nice partner (which might not ever happen or it might happen tommorow, if only i had someone that say i love you and back, support for both eachother, i think that alone could make life so much bearable too).
Someone told me basically yeah you going around in the same circles and she couldn't really do much to help, and yeah basically i am going around in circles venting my problems, and while i am trying to exercize, stop alcohol, eat better, sometimes some things are just beyond your control and then it's just a waiting game where noone can really do anything.
But most of all things went south for me ever since i moved last may when a wall of loneliness hit me, we are now in april (so almost a year), so it's also just about time things should going to pass, but for now it still continues, i can only hope, pray and keep the faith that it will pass soon yeah.
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With a syringe indeed , and it's as painful as it sounds. Won't go into details, but my rating of this is overwhelmly negative.
I feel you, for your issues. It's very complicated to find a partner, particularly, as you said, when your friends group is small. That leaves work (and this usually ends....not so well) or online dating.
One thing that worked for me was to move , because i've lost all my bearings. But that helped me to lose bad habits, i made new friends, and a new life began.
Obviously this may not work for you, but it's easier to construct on fresh soil rather than on salty ground.
Even if it does not work, talking always helps.
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Wow, my mom had to wait 1 year to get operated on her left eye, and another year for her right eye, just to be told last week that she couldn't get operated anymore on that eye more then once (i am like couldn't her doctors say so in the first place then) but yeah nothing compared to what you been through i guess, but we each have our crosses to bear.
I always remember oprah winfrey saying we all get to bear what we can take on (like what doesn't kill you makes you stronger), something like that, but then again for her it's easy to talk having a billion dollars. :p
And when the odd jobs you do have are usually male only environments, that doesn't help either. :p We had 1 free dating site left, which i had contact with women in the past, but my situation that time scared away women, now it's different, that's also a thing i wanted to retry in january, to find out it became a paid tinder thing. And then even if you pay for other sites based on profiles, for every woman there are 40 men, not to mention the fake profiles, i heared good and bad stories about it.
I am eager to find new friends, i am one to say if you have all these dating sites, why don't such sites exist to find friends (based on interest) and free? They don't exist, and if i could make one i would have, i would not know how to find friends, all that is left is this board game group but it's pretty far, and nice and easy when it's summer (whenever it stops raining after 7 months) but not in the other months.
I could get a buddy and go into such systems, but i then feel it's more of a volunteer thing for them and not really equal you know?
When i was mid 20 several females came into my life without my doing, through myspace, through facebook, a game and even a spiritual chatroom, 2 from england and that just watered down, with the girl from the chatroom i still have a spiritual thing going (which is a whole complicated mess on it's own) but she is also feeling as i am feeling right now, but also working as a school principal 60 hours a week and she can't find the time anymore to meet me (i don't got a drivers license, and public transport is hard) she promised me to come visit after more then 10 years (i said it was complicated) in september around my birthday, but she never did, and well basically it's very radio silent too, i keep emailing her, and like i get 1 mail back in perhaps every 10 days, and keeps saying oh i will try to respond to the rest but that never happens, right now i just don't know whats going on, if this friendship can still survive etc.
But those spontanious things from back then never happened anymore, and i always wondered why.
Or even just having a friendlier apartment building, i hear stories where people babysit eachothers kids, cook meals for eachother, but here people are so on their own, like have a cup of coffee with eachother or play a boardgame, but albeit no jobs, they got their "busy lifes".
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Thank you for your story, i don't know really know how to respond to it.
Why didn't you get a shot / tested for rabies? But if you meant new year i am sure by now you wouild have experienced symptoms.
And it's awful that the lady didn't pay the 90 euro, even when i had my cat Bowy just a checkup and her first shots was over 100 euro, so 90 euro still is "cheap".
And like here, the city i gather doesn't want to do anything about that road until too many people get killed, or waiting years etc to do something about it?
Again thanks, it's just when you have a combo of health and mental issues, it's even worse, and yes there are also people living in a constant pain f.e and after struggling so long it's just getting hard when you feel your bucket is not just full but your whole floor is wet.
I really can relate to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTLTG4FTNBQ&ab_channel=NikKershawVEVO
It's getting harder
Just keeping life and soul together
I'm sick of fighting
Even though I know I should
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I'd say ditch the dating apps, and instead focus on things you can do socially in your area. Even just hanging out at church once a week can open the door to many more opportunities to casually meet and hang out with woman.
Health problems sound quite annoying, and seems like your diet may be an issue that is making them worse, as most of us medicate our feelings with food, rather than focus on how it fuels our bodies. Like how we can basically run on sugar, same as a car can run on alcohol, but it's gonna cause a whole lot of damage in the long run.
Here's hoping things get better with some positive changes in your diet, some irl socializing, and maybe a touch of exercise a few times a week to even out the bodies hormones...
Blessings on your struggles!! o/
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I been told that but i find it hard when i am not exactly religious or get a partner that wants me to go church weekly with her, etc.
So beside that far far away board club i don't know what else to try. I have one female neighbour that could be my type, but i hardly spoken to her and i don't know if she is in a relationship or not (anymore) because i heared certain "noises" around december and christmas and then being alone and hearing such things was kiilling, anyway i am not really hearing those noises anymore so i don't know if it's over, i am not the type to ring her doorbell and when i meet people in the hall they always have to go somewhere and are in a hurry.
My way of going to the toilet is that i have to keep going and i think my digestive system is working too fast, because also since i moved in here i practically live on bread and i lost weight, and the last 2 months i am eating more bread and lots of full cottage cheese, some potato chips and i did gain back a few kilo's but now i am stuck at some point, i can go to bed with 75kg or 74kg and i will always be awake 73-73,5kg. When you eat more, you have to go more and i think that doesn't help me, i also been prescribed bags of fibers last week but that also just made it worse, "normally" i only leak before going to the toilet, at 11-12:00 but with the fibers i also had to go later in the day and thus the leakage, i stopped with the fibers.
I always been skinny my whole life until i was 18 i was 50kg, i also ate bananas, whipped cream, it didn't do a thing until i started to lift weights and gained 25 kg and then weighted 75-77kg up until i moved.,I am 193cm so i could even be 90kg and still have a healthy BMI.
Where you see and people say oh they got obesitas they must be living unhealthy, doesn't mean skinny people are healthy, as you say with the sugars and stuff, some got a different working thyroid.
Why i am eating bread only? It's because i can't find the energy to make a whole meal and why spend 15-20 minutes in the kitchen when it's gone in 3? While grabbing a bread is also done in a minute, again if i had someone else that would be a whole different situation or cook for 2 for a neighbour and vice versa or even my mom but she doesn't cook anymore either (but that's also because of artritis).
I know basically 95% in our supermarket is crap, and i wish we had farmers closerby (or that i had a car) then i would buy from them, and i also don't like a lot of vegetables, nor fish, so my diet is already limited, i got diabetes type 2 and there are people saying you can get off that if you follow a strict diet, but it's very very strict as in basically eating stuff you don't like (salmon, broccoli) and just not eat anything "fun" anymore like chips, snacks etc.
Another thing is i also bought an expensive airfryer with 2 baskets, i could just put in raw meat and raw vegetables in them, and just press a button and it's going to cook, but i never did, just the thought of cleaning things, same goes for the oven (how i'd love to eat a good made lasagna again). And that's a circle you don't eat healthy thus your health/energy goes down and thus you even lack more energy to cook etc.
Sorry bit long text.
Thank you.
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I'm sorry for everything you're going through; I hope your situation improves soon... It may seem like darkness surrounds you at first, but if you look carefully, you will find clarity... Life is full of obstacles, what matters is learning to walk over them... I know it must not be easy. But one day you'll look back and say I made it. I managed to get ahead. I wish you the best, and you'll see that little by little, everything will start to get better. The most important thing is to never give up. In games, we may have "infinite lives," but reality is tougher—we have to overcome obstacles with the only life we have, trying to make the most out of every situation. You're not alone; here's a community that stands with you. I would wish you luck, but I'd rather wish you success because I know you'll succeed, and everything will get better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9IwBJYTwQ0
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Thanks for sharing, friend. Life, like a zebra, consists of black and white stripes. Even the darkest stripe is followed by a light one. Life tests you. Perhaps it even tells you that it’s time to change something in your life. Listen to it and don’t be discouraged.
P.S. Pardon me for my shitty english. 😅
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For those that care (and those that don't) i used to really vent on the forum sometimes, and for all the reasons i hoped january would be a brand new year finally, and the beginning of the end of my problems, like i would have a proctoscopy in march, because of leakage from behind (which isn't a nice combi with germphobia) probably because i moved the washing machine/dryer 4 times on my own, but instead of it becoming better the problems went worse, and then they told me to use bags of fiber, which even made it more worse, and every further trreatment i have to wait weeks.
And now assumingly they want to sign me up for an endoscopy too.
Also was planning to use the one and only free dating site left, but that became a paid tinder, and that's just too artifical for me swiping people based on their appearances, but with my age it's really just hard then finding someone that isn't taken if your family/friend circle isn't very big.
Then i thrown away 100 euro through some stupid bitcoin transaction (my own mistake), big part of the wall spilled with coffee |(atleast it wasn't my 90 euro mouse this time) and so is every day something for me, in december it was like drops coming out of the bucket, now it's just like my whole floor is soaking wet, but what can you do eh?
And then a female friend, my sounding board, is in such a state of mind as myself, but since her daughter was sick but it went better i thought our contact would resume better again, but nope, and my mom waited a year to get operated on her eye just to be told she can't, and me being a virgo sign, i also seem to take on problems from others too on my shoulders, so yeah life is still definitely a rollercoaster, mine with just a lot of deep lows.
But I guess you know
Why I do what I do and where I go
I try to fill that empty space inside
But I can't do that without you
You're even with me in my dreams
I see a sail, the seven seas
I will try to find my way
You're always there tomorrow, you're always there tomorrow.
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