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ok - first of all, you people are fucking dangerous! damn, some of that shit is messed up

file mine under "stupid asshole"
I think I was mayyyybe 12 - family was coming home in two vehicles and I was pitchin' a fit because I didn't get to ride in the back of the pickup (you could do that as a kid back then - was no big deal) but I wasn't allowed to "because it'll be dark before we get home..."
whatever the hell difference that made I dunno - so I'm pissy all the way home. When we get there my mom demands me to go feed the dogs right now 'cause they haven't ate all day.
FIIIIIIIIINE I'll feed the damn dogs since I'm the ONLY one than can possibly EVER do it (no, I didn't get dog bit)
I go in the kitchen, grab a 10 pound bag of kibble - it's not open - kiss my ass, I gotta open the bag and those stupid strings never worked right (they're worlds better now)
So my usual method of opening the dog food was to get a pair of scissors or whatever knife I saw first and make a hole in the bag that I could just tear the rest of the way open - no big deal
But this time, while I'm having my little fit, I stand the bag up on the table, hold the top with my left hand (kinda like you would grip a steering wheel with one hand at the 12 o'clock position) and with my right hand swing the fucking MEAT CLEAVER that I chose to do the job with, intending to "decapitate" the bag (which, had I succeeded would have just spilled 10 pounds of chow all over the kitchen)
So, yeah, I missed the bag and hit my left thumb right at the last joint before the nail...
Went completely through the bone but didn't quite cut it off - it was just held by the fleshy pad part.

Two days in the hospital - a little kick-ass meticulous surgery, and a pin sticking out the end holding the bone together for a couple weeks, and it's good as new, not even any stiffness or loss of flexibility.

I have a tattoo where someone stabbed me with a pen and the ink is under my skin, in revenge I stabbed him with the same pen in the hand and he ended up with one on his finger, saw him 4 years later and he still had a little blue dot on his finger.

Have no feeling in my right shin between ankle and knee from a biking accident when I was 10ish, fell off and landed on the bike.
Have a weird scar on my knee from running up an escalator that was going the wrong way and fell down, could see bone in the wound at the time, but I was young and pretended it wasnt there because it grossed me out and told my mom I was fine.

Someone through a fence post at my head and it hit me in the eye and the right side of my face swelled up and I couldnt see.

Slipped by a pool and smashed my face onto a snooker table and blacked out, got a scar on my forehead.

Stuck my hand in an blender as a kid and somehow didnt end up cut up, just got friction burn from the plastic parts, had a huge blister on my thumb for weeks. Gross

Now thanks to her I have led in my knee. It's not really my knee, but it's just under it

Don't worry, it's not really lead either, it's graphite :)

I once dislocated my shoulder in my sleep. Then I propped it up with a pillow and went back to sleep. Fortunately it popped back shortly afterwards.

Stuck my head in the microwave to give myself a tan. My head never grew back.

A buddy of mine shut closed glass doors on me. I opened them with my shoulder. And by open I mean went flying through glass. Got a few scars, and a piece of glass in my leg.
When I was about 6-7 (first grade el. school), I played with a pen. I'd put a pen down and slam the top of it with my opened palm. Unfortunately, on one occasion, I turned the pen upside down, slammed it and ended up with a part of graffite (or whatever the name of that black stuff is) in my palm. Still have it.
Some years ago (three or four) I played with lamp and my brother's guitar wires. Got zapped by electricity, destroyed his amplifier and left me with some nerve damage. Yay.
When I was five I got hit by a bike. When I was six I got hit by a car. And I got hit by a car when I was seven as well. Nothing much. Ended up riding hood on both sides. When I was about ten, I pretended to be hitting wall with my head. Unfortunately, I wasn't wearing glasses and miscalculated distance between my head and wall. Smacked onto it with all my strength and bled like a stuck pig. Idiot.
When I was fourteen, walked next to beach showers, some idiot kids were using shampoo. I slipped, fell, hit my head on floor, blacked out and suffered concussion. Same day, I slipped on the stairs and fell down small staircase (five or six concrete stairs). Yay.
Forgot to add. When I was 4, my brother gave me charcoal from stove/oven into a hand as a surprise.

hmmm when i was 10 years old we played hide and seek in class
me and some friend got up on a high platform
anyways - when i ran to the wall to disqualify the others
i ran so fast the jumped from this platform and i was like 5-6 feet over the ground and felt of my hand and rolled like 8 times
the skin on my hand ripped and i could have seen the damm bone! everything was cover with blood =S [and i didnt cry! belive it or not (remember i was 10 years old!)]
no i have a huge scar and the Veins and like.. circuiting the scar