I know that this website it's not really supportive due to obvious reasons. We are all gamers here right? Some are memetic, some are sarcastic, some are toxic and some look for artificial attention on the Internet. Anyway I WILL TRY no matter what to share with you with some inspiring words from the story of a guy who didn't care about himself. I know it's quite extreme scenario, but it got me inspired and I hope that I found here some individuals who will get some boost for their actions. I will attach response below. Cheers.

I'm not sure if this is a rant or a cry for help. Probably both. I just don't give a shit about myself anymore. I'm away at college my first semester (I'm not >a freshman- I'm a junior transfer) and I thought that this would all end once I got away from my life back home. Back home, I don't try at all. I don't >want to try, I don't see the point in trying, and there is nothing there that helps push me. Friends have tried to get me up and going, but it'll work for a >week or so and then I'll be back in my old routine of nothing.
Now that I'm away at college, I've fallen back in to the same pattern. I don't care about my grades, or about the quality of my work. I don't even care >about doing my work (I have five essays due between Monday and Tuesday, and I'm writing this instead). I don't care about being with friends or >making new connections- I did at the beginning and I really liked doing it, but now everyone has settled in to their places and the whole "meeting >new people to make friends" thing has kind of died down, unless I'm at a party. But even then, I don't have as much fun at parties as I should. I >always try to find someone to dance with or whatever, which never works (and I know that's not how you're supposed to do it, it's just a habit that I >can't break). Earlier this week, I was rejected AGAIN by someone who I really was in to and actually wasn't looking for anything, and that too is what >has put me further into this hole.
I have lots of things I want to learn and do with my life, but I can't even bring myself to do what I'm required to do. Hell, even the fact that I'm paying >out of pocket to be at this college hasn't pushed me to pick up my work. I just feel like wasted space with no interest in bettering myself or being a >productive member of society.
And even when I do get out of these holes, which happens somewhat often, it's only temporary and then I fall back in to the same habit of not caring >about anyone or myself. I have no money, no one who really cares about me, shitty grades, shitty diet and exercise, and the worst part of it? It's not >even that I hate any of this. I hate feeling like this, but not even enough to do something about it. I hate my grades, but it's not like Cs look different >from As when you receive your diploma. No one really cares about me (especially in the way that I feel I need. It's been two years since someone >told me they liked me and over a year since I last had sex), so why should I care about myself anymore? Clearly I'm not good enough for anyone, >yet for some reason that's good enough for me.
It's long and confusing and my mind is manipulative and confused and I don't know what to do, but I know that if it requires lots of work and effort, I >probably wont do it.

7 years ago

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Response

Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever >circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if >you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder >for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose.
(Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of >my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a >way of thanking them. )
Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever >dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the >point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO >system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because >one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's >what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string >of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget.
La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE >GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's >the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love >yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like >you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of >Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? >THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is >you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past >you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab >Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my >best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD >SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) >and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should >spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.
Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. >seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, >strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you >need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have >a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best >of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.
Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily >you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you >exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking >thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by >someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for >typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good >to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into >your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much >faster.
That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission >right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past >self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on.
I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz >Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your >day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again.
Have an awesome fucking day ☺

It was posted on Reddit if somebody asked.

7 years ago
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Actually thought of this and did five pushups at 23:59 last night xD

NO MORE ZERO DAYS, HONEST!

7 years ago
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That's what I'm talking about! Don't stop and keep going!

7 years ago
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The most important part is knowing that you want to live, and then keeping it this way. Eventually something will kick you in the arse so hard that the momentum alone gets you going again. I don´t know if the rough patch i´ve hit is over, but the last year at least was a gazillion times better than the 7 fucking wasted years bfore.

7 years ago
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He sounds like I do, but with me its medical issues that lead to deep depression and the feeling of not belonging, hating myself, and thoughts of ending everything. I spent Christmas week 2015 in a mental hospital due to a botched suicide attempt. I used to be so much different, strong, could work 100 hours a week every week, tough as the Abrams tank I crewed in 30 years ago. Now Im a sick old man who some days cant even get out of bed. I guess thats why I hang out on SG so much, like minded people about gaming makes me feel like I kind of fit in. My whole story would take to long to write and no ones interested anyhow, but I know depression very very well.

Hes a young man so I hope he can get his head back on straight and live a good happy life.

7 years ago
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Did you read the first post?

7 years ago
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Yeah, I read the first one and seen similarities. Did I miss something?

7 years ago
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When you say like minded people and gaming helps, maybe you would enjoy some of the comradeship that sustains the oldest groups (some are playing iterations of ArmA since 16 years) in our universe that´s called ArmA! I never was enlisted myself, so i will never understand the true concept of comradeship or the troubles that come with it, but i have a feeling that it might have helped some of the numerous veterans in the community.

Here´s a vid of Shacktac, one of the biggest and americanest (i invented that word) groups doing their thing, so you can see what i´m on about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IspE0kUZ_B8

7 years ago
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Well last couple years with a MDD getting out is not easy + rejoin some job explaining that time hole adds a bit hard job search, but somehow thanks to my family I'm still here.

7 years ago
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Sometimes when I'm depressed I listen to Take on me from a-ha.

So needless to say, I'm odds and ends. I'll be stumbling away, slowly learning that life is okay. Say after me: it's no better to be safe than sorry.

7 years ago
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7 years ago
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damn it's really long isn't it, now I remembered all the books I bought and haven't read in the last 5 years. :(

7 years ago
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I lack the paragraph breaks to read that post.

Edit: No, actually it's the shaded italics of the quoted text that make it unreadable.

7 years ago*
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Thanks. That's much easier to read. Good post.

Personally I'm very good at procrastinating but I'm fine with it.

7 years ago
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Yep, but i learned to live with this shiet for allmost ten years.

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I do,but that's mostly from me thinking i'm not worth anything,which i believe to be true.

7 years ago
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Stop! It's only a delusion what you think. Be positve and hyped to make a change of your mindset!

It's really possible. Get rid of your bad habits, implement new, good ones. Plan your days, organize your tasks. Develop your skills, work towards your goals, one small goal at time, dude. What your dream is?

What is happening currently in your life nowadays, does not have to be last endlessly. Forgive your past YOU, prepare yourself for the future YOU. You just need to get a grip. I won't say it would be easy, it's never easy to change the lifestyle, but trust me you can change it accordingly, one brick at time, step by step!

Stay strong brother and good luck!

In case you missed my post:

"Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose.
(Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. )
Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget.
La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.
Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.
Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster.
That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on.
I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again.
Have an awesome fucking day ☺"

7 years ago
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Thanks,but some text wall won't really help me,as dick headish as that sounds,i do appreciate the attempt,but i hate myself lol.

7 years ago
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Just read the first sentence of the wall, it has the truth in it (except for the get hyped part, i know it´s nearly impossible).

Depressions are devilish illness, all those bad thoughts going rampage and running in circles.
What helped me a little bit, and i hate opening up like this in a place like the internets, was doing meals on wheels (i hope it´s the correct english term). The elderly take you the way you are, no strings attached (most of the times they´re worse off then you anyway). The ammount of sincere gratitude I met in that job definately helped reinstating a feel of "see, you ain´t that useless after all".

It´s really mostly about getting started in the first place rather than getting to know how to do it again.

7 years ago
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tldr:

No zero days - do at least one thing
Be grateful for the three you's - past self, present self and future self
Forgive your "past self" and do something for your future self in your present self so you don't have to forgive your past self tomorrow :-p
Exercise and read

Doesn't exactly explain it but close enough. As my grandmother would have said, "If you can put your feet on the floor, you can run".

7 years ago
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Interestingly The Gaming community actually statisically has one of the highest rates of depression of any demographic.

7 years ago
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Well, that's really easy to explain.
Videogames are some 10/10 escapism from reality.

7 years ago
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I think also it is that people who play games on average are more likely to be introverts when compared to any other group and don't socialize as much.

7 years ago
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Makes sense. Much like, say, reading, introverts will get into gaming because it's a hobby that doesn't require them to face uncomfortable social situations.

I get really annoyed when people say that gaming causes people to become anti-social, when it's obviously not true. Why they choose not to see it's sorta the other way around, i'll never know.

7 years ago
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I have crippling depression.

Well, I have crippling social anxiety, the self loathing and depression are a by-product of that. I manage it okay, I try to not stay home too long, go to the gym and all that.
I'm still lonely and all that, but that's a fate i've come to accept, and when the day day comes i will go gentle into that good night.

Plus, the music's pretty good.

7 years ago
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Closed 1 month ago by shaxell.