This is how it happened, this is how my wallet died

Why, hello there~ :P

there was once a coach wallet named Josephine, she was the most beautiful wallet that there ever was. with thick brown leather curves and a supple bouncy opening. Her best friend was the Benjamin brothers ( 5 in total), they used to sleep together and frolic together within Josephine's cozy premium leather bindings, but as we all know the good times dont last. One day Josephine noticed that the eldest Benjamin went missing and so she asked the 4 remaining Benjamins what happened and they told her that Elder Ben had been used to buy many cheese burgers and some fries. Josephine was sad but she understood that he died in the line of duty so she grieved in silence and acceptance and went to sleep inside her home, the living Pocket. The next morning Josephine woke up to fine all the other Benjamins gone and when she asked Pocket what happened, he told her that they were all used to preorder games on steam. A shocked and scared Josephine said "but dont they know that those who are preordered never come back!?!?" Pocket saids "yes they have given their lives in the defence of Ubisoft, a great and noble and hardworking dude who will one day become the president of all gamers" Upon hearing that her friends were never coming back Josephine crawled back into Pocket and slowly withered away, becoming super thick and unbendable, nothing but an echo of a happier time when money was still inside of her. Hail Ubisoft