WL recruitment: share a funny joke you've heard recently.

Classic Jack Handy! One good turn deserves another:

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they’d never expect it.

I've only been in prison for 5 minutes, and I've already been raped two times. I shall no longer play monopoly with my stepfather!

Jokes we find funny in my country translated to English:

1. Why did David Copperfield have to cancel his performance in Poland?

No one was interested because it's normal for things to disappear in Poland.

2. A Polish police officer pulls over a German tourist.

Officer: Good day, license and registration, please.

The tourist gives his license and registration to the police officer.

Officer: What is your age?

Tourist: 31 years old.

Officer: Occupation?

Tourist: No, just visiting.

Why do you never see pigs hiding in trees?
- Because they're pretty good at it

It doesn't shine and it you can't fit it in your ass. What is it?

Soviet shine-in-your-ass device

• Doctor, i think i have a memory lapses.
• And how long have you had it ?
• Emm , what "How long" ?

One partner at work, in his presentation to the team said (showing an slide with his picture wearing an elegant suit.
"That I am wearing a suit doesn't mean that I have something wise to say"

Besides all the formality of the meeting, everyone laugh after that hahahah.

Two goldfish are in a tank.
One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?”

There's a good joke reply, I don't know if its from that sandler movie happy gilmore or from a golfer interview, they asked him how come he can play golf taking risky shots, and the dude replied "well I trained a lot and believe me it takes a lot of balls to play it that way:
I burst out laughing, i don't know if it was intentional but the dude said it with such a straight face that added humor on top of the ambiguity
I don't know if it counts as a joke, nonetheless it was a hilarious moment

What do you call cheese without a cracker?
crackalacking

A man who runs behind a car gets exhausted, a man who runs in front of a car gets tired

So sorry ...😅

When I was trying to think of a funny joke, something black started to creep up on me, so I decided to pass on it this time.
It is important to be in the right mood for such a challenge.😉

outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor gives the Buddhist the hot dog and says "that will be $1.75." The Buddhist gives the man $2. After a few moments the Buddhist asks "Where's my change?"

The man says "Change comes from within."

The Buddhist pulls out a gun at this, demanding his change back. "Woah, what happened to Inner Peace?" The panicked man inquires..

"This is my inner piece."

I had to take my son to the hospital after he swallowed ten quarters. He was rushed to surgery. After half an hour I saw a nurse so I asked her how he was. She said, “There’s no change yet.”

How does a non-binary samurai attack their foes?

They/them.

A friend recently told me this joke.

• Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
• 12 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Adam.

Two guys are playing chess.

One says to the other, "How about we make this more interesting?"

So they stop playing chess.

Im active and planning to be. Especially if i have great chance to win like in ur whitelist giveaways so :D

What is the longest word in the English language?
“Smiles”.
Because there is a mile between its first and last letters!

A Crazy Man Walks Into His Psychiatrist's Office
Completely naked & wrapped in saran wrap...

His Psychiatrist takes one look and says,
Wow! I can clearly see your nuts!!!