... I'll never give up.. but... I'm sorry. T.T ...

I've been twenty years away from all I ever knew... to return would make my dream... come true.

I am no longer going to keep this PSA going. It violates steamgifts terms which state:

"When posting links or content, that content should not force users, encourage users through reward, or primarily exist as a traffic source for users to perform an action for promotional, commercial, or monetary benefit. Such actions include but are not limited to clicking a referral link, liking a Facebook page, following a Twitter account, joining a Steam group, completing a survey, or making a donation."

Currently, everything on steamgifts, including entering a giveaway, breaks this rule. Nobody would enter if it did not encourage users through reward. It's not guaranteed, but neither are any other types of things being flagged as "bad" vs "good".

If anybody wants to continue this thread/post, I will be more than happy to allow such a thing.

I will win. But. I can't do this... not right now. Please keep it alive in your hearts and minds - and spread awareness to others!
We are saving lives. This isn't a joke, or something fun. It's real. The horrors of lyme are real.
Never... never... never ever knew... this could happen to me or anybody else for that matter. Please. Be grateful for your own health.

Live your life strong... and do things I cannot do. Please live life for me - where I couldn't be strong enough... you can! You will succeed! Be that person I wanted to be. The person I would have been, had I not gotten sick... as one of the healthiest people around before a damn tick destroyed me... at least up to now. One moment in time. It destroyed it all...

Please never forget your health... and how important it is. We only have one life. Don't waste your chances!

Please send me a message through steam if you wish to keep this going!



A friend of mine, JerichoOfRivia mentioned a while back that I should create a post about this on Steamgifts. I sort of considered, but I didn't know if I wanted to go through with the effort. I've decided to incorporate lots of giveaways into this and try to keep it bumped here and there when I can, and I hope some people will consider doing the same. It's a rather touchy and important issue, and I didn't know really how much I wanted to go into it, or what I would say. Here's what sprung from my mind, so I hope it will get my main point across without being too much about me, but it will be mainly about me, since I am one of many suffering from this disease with no cure.

Some of you already know this, since I mention it in comments here and there, but I have lyme. I was bitten by many many ticks when I was 11 and 12 years old, during the time of some experimentation being done on mycoplasma germs about 30 miles away. I also coincidentally happen to have a very debilitating form of mycoplasma. I told doctors I was sick for many years after my body started to tell me it wasn't well, but they did not believe me. I got progressively worse as time went on, starting with neurological symptoms, progressing to nerve sensations and pain, and then overwhelming fatigue. I was told it was in my head, or that it was all due to depression. Some doctors told me I had growing pains when I was still fairly young, and others blamed it on lack of exercise. Why would they even say that, when the whole reason I was complaining is because I could not do the things I used to do?

I used to run close to five minute miles, but now I'm lucky if I can even make it upright for five minutes on my really bad and fatiguing days. Running and doing other active things outside was sort of my downfall. If I had stayed inside leading an inactive lifestyle, I wouldn't have had nearly as many chances to get bitten by ticks. I started to lose faith and trust in all doctors, since they kept ignoring me when I told them I was sick, and as all the medical professionals I saw gaslighted me into that belief, I eventually believed I was imagining it all, that it really was in my head, so I gave up for a long time. Certain things helped me over the years, and other things seemed to help, but also caused me other problems. I am surprised I lived through this, and that I continue to be as strong as I am. I might just be lucky, since it hasn't yet attacked the places where it can with others, causing death within months to a few years.

I have over twenty various conditions, most chronic and some fully systemic. Some I can slow progression by taking supplements and other things, and most have no permanent cures. Some will take constant medication, and some can be prevented to a degree, or at least masked to some extent. There have been times where I've taken over 60 pills a day. On average I'm probably about half that right now. It's very hard to live like this, and when I was healthy, I never imagined a person could feel this way, even on my worst days, or in my worst nightmares.

When somebody asks me what it is like, I explain that it is like a constant flu most of the time, but instead of being able to sleep through it as a sick person would, and having it go away in a few days, it never ends. On top of that, I have to perform and function in life while I have the flu, unlike the people that get a lot of rest. They get better. I cannot rest twenty-four hours a day, and it's pointless to do that, since my muscles would only atrophy, and it's too painful to sleep for very long periods most of the time anyway. I have a lot more symptoms constantly barraging me aside from a simple flu, but I describe it this way, since most people know what the flu is like. The other stuff is a bit more difficult to get into with somebody healthy.

I have learned a lot about living on the other side of healthy that I would never have known, had I been treated properly. I think this disease and many others it causes are ignored so much because of the fact that nobody believes you are so sick, and most minds cannot comprehend something so devastating without actually having experienced such a thing, so they have a natural form of denial about it. Many people with lyme can do things at times, so on the outside they look fine for short periods of time. Other times when nobody sees them, it may be a different story. Many times the recovery period for doing the seemingly slightest things can be quite harsh. Other times I do a lot more, and it doesn't hurt me later. Most of the time I don't notice the hurt, because I already am hurting worse all over. It's not something somebody can ever see, like a missing arm or leg, for instance. The neurological effects are the same. Mental health is a sad thing to examine in today's world. I have test results of some things showing problems, like seizure disorders, but not very much evidence, since the brain is so complex. Most tech is very new, and hard to get to without large amounts of money. I found a place to work on some of my neurological things, perhaps, but it's over two hours away. My insurance is ignored by most doctors in the area that could help because I am on government assistance since I can't work. It is a form of discrimination that is ignored by my government.

I have only some tests that can show much of anything. Lyme tests are not very accurate. Probably well over half the tests give false negatives. Some people have gotten 10+ tests showing they have zero lyme, and they "suddenly" end up with a positive one. Also, many people do not get the "bullseye rashes", possibly as low as ten to twenty percent. I never got one that I noticed, but after many tick bites, my body started acting crazy, and I had three breakouts of strep in a single month, with full body rashes at 11 or 12 years old. I have gotten 3 or 4 lyme tests so far that are equivocal, and as close as you can be without an actually considered a positive result. I am probably too far into late stage lyme to get a pure positive result, since my antibodies are too busy to show up anymore on a high level, and the lyme learns to outsmart these tests over time, as has been proven in multiple studies and scientific tests, but I am being treated based on symptoms, and my close tests together.

I am one of many that gets toyed with by medicine on an unending quest to find out the truth. Doctors seem like they are useless many times, and will not help. It's really sad when people with that much power choose to not help you, and let you suffer. Some people can get away with almost anything though, and this is especially true of people with power over whether somebody lives or dies. In many cases, if they'd just drop the all-knowing ego a bit, listen to their patient, get into action, dig a little, offer choices, and maybe believe their patients, then a difference could be made for some of these people who are sick. I was not making doctor's appointments to have a fun time, and I don't think it should be put off so lightly.

People are probably sick if they have to call a doctor. Even in the rarest of incidents where they really are hypochondriacs, this is also a sickness that needs to be examined and treated if there really isn't anything wrong. Something in fact is wrong on some core level if they are looking for medicine to help them in some way. It's a cry for help no matter how you look at it. There is no reason to completely ignore human beings who are asking for help. That's what they are supposed to be there for. I guess some forget that along the way, or something. I don't really understand the lack of compassion for others. Some responsibility and accountability would be nice from people in these powerful positions. It's on them and their conscience though. I'm glad it's not me.

I consider myself and my situation a test for others. Will they do the right thing when they have a chance to offer me something, as a sick person? Will they ignore me, when they have a chance to be there for somebody in need? What would the spiritual people of the world do in these situations? Other creatures in the world, and other tribal settings accounted for the sick, and the rest of the group would look out for them and try to make them well.

I don't think the government wants me well here, to be honest. I make them far more money being sick and on the system, as a cash cow for Big Pharma, and whoever else is profiting. It is a win win for them if I struggle, because I have to either pay up, or I die. If I got better, I'd be a direct threat to their jobs, and that's dangerous when it's somebody who has been through hell already. We lose the apprehensions that healthier people tend to have, and we know what it's like to have nothing. Many times those kinds of people take less for granted, and can do a better job, since they don't want to go back to the way it was, being miserable and having next to nothing.

I know this is getting to be a long-winded post, but I want to raise awareness about third stage lyme, and that it can indeed become chronic and wreak havoc on your entire body. I think most if not all of my current conditions probably came from lyme, and I don't want other people to end up like me. There is very little I could think of that would be worse than living a lifetime with the pain, tiredness, torment, and expenses of dealing with problems like this. I cannot work because I am too sick, but I need to get better in order to work again, and so that's where the bulk of expenses comes from. It's a catch 22.

I'm also including all the years I could have had an income, and I did not. In society, they want you to work, but if you're too sick to work, then you must get better, but if you cannot pay for treatment, then you remain sick, unable to work. It is a vicious cycle, and yet another facet of medicine I will not get into. There are even organizations like IDSA, that say chronic lyme does not exist, and people in the medical profession think highly of this organization, and they believe this garbage. It's maddening that so many people are overlooked, and considered hypochondriacs, or mental, depressed, or whatever they want to mis-label so many people that are suffering.

Enough about me. Please remember a couple of things:
Also just a disclaimer of sorts that I am no expert on removing ticks!
The information is what I've come to believe in my own experience based on the sources I read and trust most. There isn't a lot to go on with ticks/lyme.

  • There is a lot of bad information out there about how to remove ticks. One way that most people have access to is a pair of tweezers close to the skin, and a steady pull directly away from your body, without crushing, jerking or twisting, is best . If it's too fast or hard, you can leave the mouth parts embedded under the skin. A distressed tick can also regurgitate a lot of dangerous disease-causing germs into you if you try to use other methods to remove them, like suffocation or burning.

  • If you, a pet, or somebody you know gets tick bites, try to get treated with antibiotics as soon as you can. Push for at least 4 weeks, if possible as well. If your doctor will not get you at least 4 weeks of some doxycycline antibiotic by choice, find another doctor. I guess different areas have rules. I would check the rules for my area, and get the largest amount of treatment I could as early as possible. This can ruin your entire life. Not something to take lightly.

  • It's one of the most underfunded medical problems in my country, yet as many as 300,000 new cases spring up each year.

A quote from lymediseasechallenge.org says, "Although the number of new Lyme cases annually is staggering, there is relatively very meager support for research funding. Indeed, although the annual incidence of Lyme Disease is higher than that of breast cancer, hepatitis, colon cancer, Multiple Sclerosis, HIV/AIDS and West Nile virus in the United States, unfortunately federal funding of Lyme Disease has been extremely disproportionate. For example, Lyme Disease occurs 6 times more often annually than HIV/AIDS, yet it receives less than 1% of the funding from the National Institutes of Health compared to HIV/AIDS. Likewise, there are 141 times as many cases of Lyme Disease than West Nile virus, yet Lyme Disease receives less than half of the funding for research."

There is a lot of good information out there, and a lot of misinformation as well. There are organizations like ILADS, that I think come closer to the truth about lyme disease.

Please consider adding Lyme Disease Association to your charity list if you use HumbleBundle, Amazon (AmazonSmile), or other places you may have an option to donate to for charitable causes, if you don't really have a particular charity you are set on using. About 96% of all money that is donated here goes to causes that help spread more information and education on lyme, as well as other important missions, including finding lyme doctors for people, since a lot of lyme doctors try to stay under the radar in fear of being prosecuted for helping people with lyme. Hopefully it's okay for me to mention that, but if not I'm okay removing the organization.

Unfortunately, according to many states here, and their rules, things like Lyme shouldn't be treated with long-term antibiotics, but having acne is a different story, and long-term treatment of acne with antibiotics is okay. Doctors in many states trying to give antibiotics long-term for lyme have had their licenses revoked, and some have been jailed. It's very bad in some other countries as well, such as Australia. Just an example here, but there's something deeply corruptive at work here in the USA with double standards like the mentioned one above. Lyme can and will kill, while acne is more cosmetic. Anyway, the above mentioned charity is located in the town where my lyme doctor practices too, Jackson, New Jersey.

I found out I had lyme disease after living with my problems for over twenty years. I now have a real diagnosis. I feel liberated.


Please bump for:

  • The generosity of myself and others, and awareness of lyme!

  • Good karma!

  • Your own conscience, health and well-being!

  • To make me happy to add current giveaways!

  • To increase the likelihood of me adding even more giveaways at a more frequent pace!

  • High non-bundle giveaway chances in the future if it can get enough activity! So far not so good on the bump % - still dropping one or two non-bundles every now and then... but the % of joins vs. bumps just ain't up to snuff. Sorry, but it's kinda expensive, so just a small effort would be appreciated if you take the time to join something. Rude otherwise, IMO.

If you're feeling generous and would like to make a giveaway, this format below is awesomely appreciated!

[Superfabs Is the BEST EVER! - Level x+](http://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/MaR10/MUSHROOMS) | your contributor name

GIVEAWAYS: (I will update this regularly, if I can, but I mainly wanted to express awareness unless something catches on).

*Let me know if you notice something that's already expired, and I'll remove, since I may not notice right away!


Thanks to D3D for this one!

Abalone (ends 1/1)

Thanks to Corran for these!

Beholder - Level 3

[Sniper Elite V2 - Level 3]](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/36k15/)

Resident Evil Revelations - Level 3

Thanks to dubnio for these!

RUNNING WITH RIFLES - Level 4+

Seasons after Fall - Level 4+

Jalopy - Level 4+

Super Mega Baseball: Extra Innings - Level 4+

Jet Racing Extreme - Level 4+

SAMOLIOTIK - Level 4+

Loot Hero DX - Level 4+

Tap Heroes - Level 4+

No Turning Back: The Pixel Art Action-Adventure Roguelike - Level 4+

Lead and Gold - Gangs of the Wild West - Level 4+

Gunspell: Steam Edition - Level 4+

Thanks to insideone for these!

Scrollonoid - Level 3+ | insideone

HEXOPODS - Level 3+ | insideone

Dead Dust - Level 3+ | insideone

Purgatory II - Level 3+ | insideone

Lantern of Worlds - Level 3+ | insideone

Super Blasting Boy - Level 3+ | insideone

Thanks to Kyrrelin for this one!

Punch Club

Thanks to Vee79 for this one!

Galactic Fighters - Level 1+

Thanks to Zorskan for these!

Rise & Shine

Pinstripe


Thanks for all of the support!
LET'S KEEP THE AWARENESS ALIVE!! THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT! PLEASE COME BACK TO BUMP HERE AND THERE

8 years ago*

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Thanks for the GAs, heres a bump on me!

8 years ago
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Thank you for taking a look at the stuff on the page!

8 years ago
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I really had great difficulty reading your battle against this disease that I knew that name.
Thank you for this event and this story crying of sincerity,isupport you against for this horrible disease .

bump

8 years ago
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I appreciate the support! It means a lot! Hopefully we can help some of the suffering people with better treatment in the future, or at least ways to ease some of the symptoms for those that can't get well...

8 years ago
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Thanks for these giveaways!
Bump!

8 years ago
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You're welcome!

8 years ago
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BUMP!
Hey, I remember you - You have enlightened me long time ago about groups when I was still a novice!
Thank you very much, because that information helped me to grow :)

8 years ago
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Haha yep! I remember talking a bit about stuff as well. I was practically a novice too at the time. It's really awesome to see your contributions to steamgifts! Thanks for all you're doing here as well. Great to see!
You've had some good ideas, if I recall rightly as mentioned in descriptions for some of your giveaways. At some point I'll probably be the one asking you for some advice!

8 years ago
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Bumping for awareness.:)

8 years ago
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Thanks for the ride, TIL Lyme Disease... Never heard about it before. I support you, and I appreciate your courage.

8 years ago
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I am glad you heard a bit about it! It's quite a crazy thing in some areas, and it mimics so many other problems. Thanks for the nice and supportive words. It's great to read and see so much kindness on the topic here. I appreciate your comments as well, so thanks again!

8 years ago
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bump

8 years ago
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That's a hell of a story, Superfabs. You illustrate a lot of the shortcomings of our healthcare system, which I don't want to go into since I'll only focus on the negatives, but I'm glad that you were finally properly diagnosed. As one of your neighbors in the northeast, a hot spot for lyme disease, I'm always vigilant when I go mountain biking and do a thorough tick check after (and sometimes even during) a ride. Luckily, I've only found ticks twice, and both times they were dog ticks, rather than deer ticks.

I really appreciate you spreading awareness, and wish you only the best with the challenges that you're facing.

8 years ago
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Yeah, they're saying nowadays that even the dog ticks can possibly carry it. I think it's still mostly transmitted by the deer ticks though. Definitely good to be careful and remembering to do what you're already doing. I'm glad to hear you are taking it seriously! The places I've been around this part of the US are quite a lot more proactive than some other parts of the country, like where I was before, in the southeastern US. Even there, they have the lonestar ticks, which can cause a whole slew of their own problems. I don't know why more awareness isn't present when people are getting sick there too. I've got hope that the next generation will be taught more about lyme and ticks, and there will be more advancement in treatment and checking people in better ways. Unfortunate there is no magic pill or even a comprehensive test that gives a really reliable result, but I will hope for better days down the road if we can make it through all the chaos that seems to be unraveling in today's modern world conduct. Time will tell I suppose...

I loved biking when I was active though! The feeling of wind in my face... it was almost like flying, and sometimes I would literally end up flying a little bit due to carelessness. Running, walking, and biking were great. Not quite as much direct contact with the ground with bikes, unless you're going through the dense foliage though. Though they can still hitch onto almost anything, fall from trees, etc. It's quite amazing to me to see how skilled they are at getting to people and animals...

Thanks for the support and good wishes!

8 years ago
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bump4u

8 years ago
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Bump!

8 years ago
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I remember you talking about it in the past but not ins uch details, it was a pleasant read and I hope things will improve, maybe new therapies will be used to make things better :*

8 years ago
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Yep, I am confident in that happening sometime. I just hope they become affordable to a lot of us in my country (USA). Everything is super high money as far as medicine goes in this country, compared to others. It's quite crazy to look at the differences on a lot of things. We'll see how it goes once I get the right doctors in order. Narrowing it down, and it's taken over 3 years just to get through the scheduling, tests, and other things with each type of specialist. Getting down to the main ones I will see regularly though. I have high hopes once I have it down to the main ones who are actively going to be treating something over time.

8 years ago
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time for a bump

8 years ago
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Bump!

8 years ago
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Thanks for sharing your story with us, stay strong!

8 years ago
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Thanks a lot! No doubt, I have my weak moments, but I always rise again, even if it takes a little longer than I would have liked or hoped for it to. It will never get the best of me.

8 years ago
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There's a recent book, "Bite Me: How Lyme Disease Stole My Childhood, Made Me Crazy, and Almost Killed Me", by Ally Hilfiger. I haven't read it, but I saw an interview with her and I'd never previously thought of it as anything more than a relatively mild disease.

8 years ago
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I have heard of the author before, actually. Never read any of their books though... It does steal a lot from people, but getting a real diagnosis at least put me at ease in a few ways that I had been struggling before. I still feel bad, but at least I know why, so it's better than being completely in the dark, and having a lot more people turning their backs on me, thinking I'm making stuff up, or not really that sick. Things will improve as I continue to work on this! Lots of these new illnesses can be worked on, so they can either start to improve, or at least get prevention from becoming worse (like the osteoporosis and osteoarthritis, as well as my pancreatic insufficiency, which I think is what caused some of my other problems). I believe a lot of my pain is from the vitamins I was not absorbing for however long I've had this condition, since the fat soluble vitamins (A,D,E,K) don't get in nearly as much as they should with the pancreatic condition. I hope I can get more energy to start exercising and it not making me feel horrible. Got to start somewhere though.

8 years ago
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Her story is somewhat similar to yours, at least as far as being misdiagnosed or misunderstood for years. I forget what treatment she said has worked for her, but you can look online for articles about it, even if you don't read the book. It may have something practical to offer besides whatever emotional comfort there might be from hearing from someone else who's had a similar experience.

8 years ago
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Yeah I have tried a lot, but there are almost infinite possibilities out there, and a lot of new stuff being suggested often. It's hard to know what will help and what will not, since everyone is different, and some of the herbs you have to take for a long period before knowing if they'll help or not, and that costs money. I will definitely have to take a look though. I like one guy who's an extremely well versed herbalist, Stephen H. Buhner. Read a few of his books, and there are some people who have gotten better with his treatment protocols, but I just didn't have the money to keep it up after a while. Still I think some herbs are proven to really get down and kill a lot of stuff. The real problem is how they change forms and move around, avoiding detection. So... an herb could kill it in the bloodstream, but it might move into muscle or bone, making it undetectable, or hide inside cells that appear healthy. Very very tricky stuff!!

8 years ago
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Thank you for this post. Interesting read and I hope it increases awareness.

Scary too, but that's probably cause it's something one would not wish on anyone.
I wish you the best of luck, dealing with this, eventhough the lack of funding means a future cure is extremely unlikely.

8 years ago
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Yes, it is quite a strange thing... since so many could potentially have this. It disguises itself in many other forms, so it get misdiagnosed easily, due to other things that are more well known taking precedence. Another obstacle is the funding and then the doctors being split between what lyme is, and how to go about treating it. Very confusing stuff in the US, and around the world. The last "vaccine" that they created went terribly wrong, and it had to be taken off the market, due to people getting worse, and I think some deaths too.

Maybe there will be better answers down the road, or at least ways we can help reduce the suffering of those inflicted with this terrible disease. The problem with the symptoms being all over the map makes that very hard too... So yeah, we just have to each find what works for us, and try pursuing that. Lots of sketchy drug laws that make that even a challenge here for those in pain, or suffering from anxiety. I just learned from my rheumatologist that it'd be even harder to get one of my pain medications, and instead of writing refills and coming in every 3 months, it now has to be every month, and no refills. I basically said, "Screw that, I'm coming off this.", and now I'm tapering down. I have much better herbals that are stronger and I can take as I wish, without all the issues that the pharmaceutical drugs have. Zero deaths from this herbal opiate reported. Lots of problems associated with the weaker one I am coming off of. Probably a good move anyway. The only problem is I cannot take it regularly, since there is the dependency associated with any opiate.

Still, I'd rather be addicted to an opiate and have a withdrawal that won't kill me, but can take up to two weeks to get through my system, than take NSAIDS or other medicines that could kill me due to side effects, or live life in pain constantly. It's so odd how medicine treats addiction as being the most dangerous thing ever... worse than risking somebody's death on these other medications that are considered "safer alternatives". Big lol @ medicine these days... Making it harder for people in pain to have some relief. Sorry for rambling and getting off topic. I just get frustrated and throw my hands up sometimes...

8 years ago
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bump

8 years ago
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That sounds pretty darn rough. I have a pile of mysterious health issues (fatigue, hypersensitivity, anxiety, headaches, brain fog, joint pain, suffocated feeling, Reynauds...) that seem most likely to be the autoimmune condition "Sjogrens", so I totally get what you're saying. I doubt the sum of my problems is as intense as yours, but it's very painful and limiting and nobody seems to even be capable of understanding.

Most doctors insist that it is just general anxiety and can only be treated with antidepressants or antipsychotics (which, by the way, made me even more sick). A lot of people regard me to be perfectly healthy and I feel like I am shamed for not working. I can't work until I am healthy enough, which may never happen. I can't afford health insurance because I'm too sick to work. I can't get financial assistance unless I get a proper diagnosis. And I'm just wasting what of my savings remain on doctors who can't or won't give me a proper diagnosis.

Here's to hoping that my new doctor is different.

And here's to hoping that you can still squeeze some sweet sunny orange juice out of the bitterness of life. (Did I just say something weird?) Thanks for being cool.

P.S.

If you, a pet, or somebody you know gets tick bites, try to get treated with antibiotics as soon as you can. Push for at least 4 weeks, if possible as well.

I have read about how the overuse of antibiotics in the US and other countries promotes the development of resistances in the bacteria, and I do wonder if that might be a concern here. I've mostly heard that mentioned in reference to staph infection, though. Also, growing up in the MIssissippi countryside, I got tick bites sometimes every week. Taking antibiotics every time might have been overkill. The species of tick probably matters, and thus location probably makes a big difference.

P.P.S.
It's not like I expect the world to bend over backward to take care of me. I understand that I don't have some magical right to be able to enjoy life as much as healthy people. I don't think people truly have a responsibility to keep me alive even if I can't do it myself. Maybe. I don't know.

8 years ago*
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I was kind of suspecting Sjogren's myself as possibly part of my illnesses, after looking over it a little bit, but all the blood tests came back as negative (even though most of the usual four blood tests done are around 70% of people with it having a positive for any of them). The first three symptoms you mentioned are pretty difficult for me, but I get all of those, and I don't have a Reynauds diagnosis, but several doctors said I might have it after just talking with me about the lack of bloodflow to my hands and feet.

Just having fatigue issues alone can be enough to really struggle working, but when you have other things along with that... it's just not an easy thing. I probably could do certain things for a period of time at good times, but it would no doubt make me feel a whole lot worse than I already am. I've always had the same feelings about working, like it is something I should be doing, and I am self-conscious and feel guilty and ashamed about not being able to. Another part is also upset that I cannot have much money for things, so I feel even worse about it when I think about work, and possibly having a lot more than I have right now. I do get a little bit of financial assistance from my state here, but it's not much at all. Very lucky I can get some doctors and tests done on my insurance too right now. That is a lot of symptoms, and yeah... none of them are fun at all... I definitely get a lot of them to varying degrees. I almost feel like the suffocated feeling creates a lot more fatigue for me - like if I could breathe in more, I would be able to do more, but I don't really know. I have tried breathing exercises and things like that, and it stays the same even if I am able to change the way I breathe, so I guess it doesn't matter or change the feeling very much.

I agree and I think there is way too much antibiotic usage, but I don't think it's in the average lyme patient. I think it's from hospital overuse (cleaning excessively, which doesn't help all that much, and while I believe it is important, I think it just leads to resistance over time - gangrene and other infections are still out of control either way - most infections are caught in hospitals, way more than outside), this one really really peeves me: regular general doctors giving people with colds (virus!) antibiotics for 2 or 3 days, or bronchitis, which is again, mostly viral and fungal, with some questionable findings to support that on multiple studies with antibiotic treatment used on bronchitis, again for short term, and another: prescribing antibiotics for acne for months and months at a time, even years sometimes. And the worst offender of creating super-resistant bacteria? Of course! Antibacterial hand soaps! There are some others, but those are the main ones that I thought of right off. I'm not sure how much of a role vaccinations play, but bacteria also get picked up with these, and lower people's immunity to almost everything one can think of. I do think a lot more people would have chronic lyme if nobody got antibiotic treatment though. Since there are no alternatives to getting better, at least that can help some people, perhaps. It has been shown to be effective, but it's hard to know with anything medical if you cannot see what they would be like with and without treatment at the same time, but either they get it or they don't. I find there are a lot of areas in medicine and simple consumerism that are overusing antibiotics to an extreme in comparison, though.

Yeah, I don't expect today's society to do much for me beyond what has been done. I've resigned myself to it being a life sentence, but at the same time, I will keep battling, since I think things can be better than they are currently. People have always gotten the short end of the stick since the beginning of time. I'm just glad I'm one of the ones to take on the burden, because I don't believe most people around me could do it for themselves if it were them instead... Just my opinion, but withholding of medications or herbal treatments that could help ease symptoms is another thing that really bothers me. It's quite cruel, and one of the first things in the world that should be free above almost everything else. Most of the stuff is very cheap to actually make, compared to what they make off of the average consumer. I have gotten used to understanding that in my country it is all about profiting off the suffering and misfortune of other people. That's where the big bucks are, and where they keep going. Maybe if they don't want to help people get better, there should at least be an option for those of us who are ready to give up to have that opportunity, after a series of extremely detailed evaluations over a period of time. If those same people saying, You can't do this, or have that." could actually feel it, and then became trapped in it, I think many would wish for death far sooner than many of the people that are forced to live with it year after year. If there were a way for people to feel any of this stuff - just to understand how hard it is for us... we'd end up making far more money than most people living healthy today, that's for sure.

I don't like that suffering is mandated to be prolonged by people who don't know what suffering really is. That is what I am getting at, I think. Hopefully some of my own comments made some sense of some sort. It's a little bit long-winded.

8 years ago
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Bump ♥

8 years ago
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Thanks for all the bumps so far! I will keep it up as well and prepare some more giveaways since my last batch ended :D

8 years ago
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Bump!

8 years ago
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never heard of lyme before your article, I also forwarded it it my wife for her to know. i noticed there are quite some other articles in the internet about someone's battle against lyme. best of luck and much strength!

8 years ago
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Thank you! I am glad you could get some ideas about lyme. It's great to have the knowledge... especially if you're in an area with ticks! I suppose it is good to know anyway... I appreciate you taking the time to look over it! Means a lot to me.

8 years ago
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Both me and my mother are ill, (diagnosed with CFS but suspected lyme though; I'm in australia though so our doctor can't really do anything for fear of losing their license).
I've been thinking about sharing my and my mom's story, but I'm too ill currently to think coherently enough(and also not good enough to properly take in all of the post, just skimmed so far, when I'm a bit better I'll have another try)

So just wanted to say thanks for trying to spread awareness of this, it also helps bring awareness to other "invisible" illnesses.
So bump.
Hope you have a good day :)

Since I'm not as bad as I thought I'll do a brief(it didn't end up all that brief) summary of my life and experiences:

My mom has been sick for over 25-30 years now; I got sick at the age of 11 and I'm now near 21(so almost 10 years but probably had it low grade since birth) the first year and a half I was near bedridden, I then had 2 somewhat good years where I was able to attend school around maybe a fifth of the time at most(somehow managed to be top of the year in nearly all subjects despite almost no studying or attendance; I really miss having that mind I used to have, I love/loved science I really miss that as well).

Around the start of year 10 I got worse had to drop out and start doing distance education, I managed to finish year 10 but for year 11 I had to split the course over 2 years; finished the first half but my health got worse and so the second year was split even further but in the end I only finished 1 subject of the second half, after that the school suggested that it might be better if i drop out and return after recovering.

So I've never finished high school due to my illness, pretty much had to but my aspirations on hold/abandon them, I wanted to go into something in science or tech and I also loved learning languages but I've forgotten nearly everything I learned in science, french and italian.

Over the past 3 years I've continued to get worse and I'm now about as bad, potentially worse, than that first year I was sick, I've pretty much lost most of my higher brain function, maths is extremely hard for me, during years 8 and 9 I was pretty much top of my class in maths and science but now I have to use my fingers just to count, anything more than 2 steps I forget the equation part way through and can't complete it.

I've also ended up with fairly bad muscle dystrophy in my spine due to being bedridden and 2 or 3 fused vertebrae , I've got pretty bad osteoarthritis in my spine as well, I also get fairly bad lactic acidosis in my muscles from even slight exertion(even pushing my self out of bed counts as exertion for me)(I'm in constant pain due to these problems), I suffer from pretty bad brain fog, my short term memory is near nonexistent, which make learning and remembering things long term almost impossible.

I have to rely on my parents for nearly everything in my life now, I don't know what I'd do without them. Unfortunately we struggle alot financially having to support two sick family members on one fairly low wage while renting.

As far as my experience with doctors and GPs, some of the first just tried to say I had depression and that it was all in my head since the blood tests came back "within normal range"; that was pretty infuriating, some doctors still try to say that >:(
Unfortunately my memory fails me at recalling any more details.

One of the current theories is that my father caught it (possibly in america) and then unknowingly gave it to my mom, but then a few years latter got sick for a year and he was treated with plaquin oil(?) which got rid of it before it got too far. My mother than got worse over time and spread it to me pre-birth/at conception.

I really hope more awareness of this and other "invisible" illnesses is attained and that proper research starts soon/gets funded, I just want my life back(or more specifically have a life, I didn't really even get a chance at one), I feel like I'm slowly and agonisingly dying and it terrifies me. I've ended up with no friends due to loss of contact, I have almost permanent flat affect, and until recently I used gaming to keep my self sane, but now my health has gotten bad enough that even that's hard to do.

Well that ended up a lot longer than I thought it would be, sorry for the long post and sorry if I rambled or went off on tangents, it's a fairly emotional subject for me and my brain fog/cognition is horrible most of the time, hopefully it's at least readable.(and hopefully it wasn't too personal)

Although I might have something else rather than lyme I have to say thanks for trying to raise awareness and congrats on the diagnosis, I hope you find success in getting treatment, best of luck.

8 years ago
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I can definitely relate to losing a lot of my natural ability with intellect. I was reading encyclopedias at age 6 - 8, and never really made anything below 90 - 100 on anything... I did manage to get through 2 years in one when I graduated, but I felt doom coming - and I knew I had to do it before things got worse. I was lucky enough to get into an alternative school that was smaller, so I could learn at my own pace. That enabled me to graduate at just over 16. I was heavy into... well, how do I put this without breaking rules here... well - I was doing things to help me, and they were not things that are healthy, but things that took away the anxiety, and the pain, so I was able to graduate because of it. Some of my darkest years, ironically.

It's so difficult to hear how bad the CFS has made you... I've been lucky enough to keep it at bay somewhat, somehow... but the damage of osteoarthritis has also gotten me. Have you had your D levels checked before? I found out I had a pancreatic insufficiency problem when I saw a GI Doc, but it took them several years to get to that diagnosis, since it's rare, but there is a great test to see how much fat is coming out, if you have difficulty with stool problems (IBS, etc.).

Anyway, I guess having not much money ... that really hurts when you want to see specialists - they'll charge a lot, but I'm not sure how bad it is compared to the USA with Australia's doctors. But having osteo could be from either the D working overtime with the immune system, or the stool problem, like I have. Both actually I have, and it's just theory based on having osteo at a young age. Worth checking if you have a noticibly hard time with bathroom stuff. The medication is expensive though, and you have to take it with every meal... I still am not getting a dosage that I need, and I'm taking a lot of the enzymes (they break down proteins, fats, and carbs) that break down the vitamins that are fat soluble (A,D,E,K). Not feeling any better, but I am getting more vitamins in my system. I have a bunch of things wrong with my neck and spine also, and they will just get worse, unfortunately...

I do know that it's been pretty much fact that children can catch lyme easily before they are born, so yeah, I suspect you are right on your guess about it being since birth. Just guessing, and throwing a few things out there. Maybe some of it can be of help, or maybe not.

I also hear you on the gaming. Some days it's possible, others I am busy with doctors or other things, and there are days I am just too dang tired or out of commission to play anything at all. I'm on a decent streak recently, aside from pretty nasty fatigue going on. Hopefully things can get better for all of us sometime. There is always hope... I dream of one day being better, or seeing something that is the answer to this misery we are going through. Just try to stay sane and do the best you can - don't let it get to you, but that's easier said than done. I do my best, but I have a lot of weak moments. I hope you can find strength, and just know you are not alone in this battle. I hope I can be supportive to you, and if I can do anything for you, just let me know, or feel free to add me through steam if you're okay with that sometime. I send a few people messages, but I am kind of alone with my girlfriend here in New Jersey, where I came to get treatment for lyme. My home was completely ignorant before I moved. Nobody was helping me at all, and I got some assistance here and some medicaid help through the government, so I'm very grateful for all the medical help I've gotten. It's been a real blessing, even if I'm not improving yet. Lots of new diagnoses have popped up. I wish you well, and yeah, Australia is a really bad place to have lyme or other problems right now. I've read and watched some really bad stuff with protesting and doctors losing licenses, getting fined, even imprisoned for treating lyme.

I don't know what I can do but say I am with you, in some way or another, and though we have different struggles, we also have a lot of things in common, I think. I am here to battle as well, and we are not alone! Be strong, and try your best to stay positive... no matter what, do not let it win. Glad you wrote, by the way. Thank you for writing all you did. I liked reading it (what I mean is - you wrote it very well), but I also am sad to hear what you are going through - I hope that makes sense.

8 years ago
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Thanks for the kind words. :)

I have had my vit. D tested, I take supplements for it(drops in a drink), it swings back and forth between too high and too low, so pretty much every doctors appointment the dosage changes.
I used to have bad IBS(it's no where near as bad as it used to be) and I have a vague recollection of having fats in stool tested, I think it had high fat content and I believe that I went onto(probably still on) some things(blanking on terminology) to help with liver and pancreas function.

I also remember that my uptake of nutrients was/is a problem, I think it's to do with enzyme production in the intestines. So most of my treatment is supplements and vitamins (a lot of capsules taken everyday).

My doctor is also currently examining genetic mutations that might be exacerbating my illness(both me and my mother had our DNA sequenced on 23&Me and then used another company (or our doctor looked at it, can't remember unfortunately) to analyse it for mutations); mainly the MTHFR gene which I have a completely mutated variant of (homozygous) which inhibits quite a few metabolic pathways in the body, mainly folate and vit. B.
there are a lot of other mutations but the MTHFR one is the only one being properly researched currently or at least the only one that has made much headway and is relevant.

Although being treated for the mutations probably wont cure me it'll hopefully help to make it more mild and liveable.

I'll take you up on the friend offer, although I'm not much of a talker(10 years of social isolation has made me extremely shy and socially anxious, even talking delayed through text like this makes me a bit panicked and nervous), and if I'm ever playing an online multiplayer game that we both have(and time zones line up properly) feel free to hit me up for a game if you want.

Also I think I'll keep checking back and bumping this thread every now and then(hopefully I remember), the more awareness the better.

Have a good day.

8 years ago
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Yeah, mine was suspected to be IBS, but my fat test was pretty high. They tested the actual enzyme and it's kind of in the middle of the middle - not severe, but not normal. Right in the center of the bad level. I wonder if I also have the intestinal thing, since the enzymes so far are not helping much, if at all. I am getting more vitamins in, from what I can tell, but I cannot prove that either one way or another yet. It's pretty early for the enzymes, I have taken them for about 6 months maybe so far, but I'm still having a lot of trouble in that area.

I have MTHFR as well, and found that out through my lyme doctor. I got a basic test just confirming I had it on one side, but I don't know what exact places might be affected, since it can do different things to different people. I have some other genetic stuff, like Ichthyosis on my skin, but it's not very severe compared to a lot of pictures on the internet. I changed vitamins for a year or two that had metafolin and other forms that were not the regular folic acid or folate, and it didn't really seem to help me, but they were pretty reasonably priced compared to regular vitamins anyway so I kept taking them for a long while. I'm trying different ones with a lot more bioflavinoids and stuff like that. Hard to find good ones with enough things in them - then if you can get a lot of extra stuff in them, sometimes it is not nearly enough to make a difference, compared to actually getting a larger single pill on its own. Just not enough to get all the different ones I'm interested in, plus the cytokine cascade prevention stuff (to stop some of the symptoms that cause problems with the lyme/mycoplasma stuff).

I've got a new doctor I saw once with this new neuroscience institute that wants to delve into the genetic testing for some of the autism stuff. I have only taken the test, but based on history and everything else, I should end up with some sort of diagnosis from them. He definitely thought I had some Asperger's type symptoms just on an early guess before my testing. That could really help with a bunch of options opening up for me once I can get some kind of diagnosis there and more proper therapies. There are places that will advocate for people with Autism Spectrum, but I needed this evaluation before they'd work with me - which is funny, because I was asking them for help to get an evaluation so I could try to have a diagnosis for autism in the first place. Maybe after this, they will be more useful - but unfortunately with that problem, it needs to ideally get caught early (like almost everything else), and after kids grow up, there is no real support for a lot of them. Doesn't matter how much progress they made early on, or how severely autistic they might be, etc. I didn't get any help, since that wasn't really something a lot of people knew about when I went to school, but I had to kind of maladapt in the best way I could to people around me, but I've never felt right about the social stuff, and I always wondered why.

I hope we can find ways to cope with our problems better though. I've never been a huge talker except with a select few people in my life here and there, but I like typing and writing, so for some reason that doesn't bother me nearly as much. Thanks for the support, and I hope you will be able to make more progress over time. It really is horrible about the lyme, but I think Australia is one of the worst, since they are in denial about any types of lyme getting over there, I guess because of the isolation from other areas with more widespread epidemic of it. But there's definitely going to be some some cases if people and animals can travel here and there. Too bad it's such a heated argument with these things - if people are suffering and sick, there needs to be options as long as it takes. People should be able to move from A, to B, and so on until they get some relief or help, and just keep going as long as they are able to find things that could possibly help. I guess expense is one of the giant ones with medicine.

8 years ago
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8 years ago
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Thank you for another one! I really appreciate it a lot...

8 years ago
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Thank you!

8 years ago
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Thank you! I am happy to see some others checking it out. Makes it all worth it to me, like my message is important through my experiences, or something like that. Hard to word it.

8 years ago
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Thank fuck you finally got diagnosed I really don't know what to say other than thank fuck finally you got the diagnosis so shocked that you've had to suffer for 20 years because of arrogance and stupidity. Truly am sorry that they just didn't listen I've had the same issue with doctors but nowhere near as bad as you had seriously fuck them.

8 years ago
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Yeah, too bad there are so many loopholes with medicine to avoid getting in trouble, and then they get paid not based on how satisfied the customer, or patient is - now they are calling them "clients" to further sever the personal ties to those that they are serving. But yeah, instead of it being based on satisfaction, and getting paid in accordance, three doctors charging the same amount can take the full amount and do three totally different levels of service. Many get lazy and only do easy cases, and then there are the types that really are on your side and want to figure out what's going on with your body, like a detective moving through various evidence until something seems to be the culprit. Hard to know until you see one, and even then, you can go back to the same doctor later with a lot more evidence, and all the sudden they are a lot more serious about someone's case.

My neurologist is kind of a good example, since at first he thought I had some sort of a bipolar thing going on based on my past and asking a few questions, and sort of just wished me luck, but now he's more on board after I've seen a lot of other doctors, and he's been one of the key areas in my autism spectrum testing, as well as finding out that I had seizure disorders through some EEG's. He's also ordering sleep tests now. At first he was just very sorry and discouraged with the system, and that his hands were basically tied. I suppose with insurances too, some doctors cannot treat the way they think is right, and they have to play by the rules of the insurance. Finding more stuff out and returning later might have opened more avenues, so he can really attack my situation now like he wants. Just an example, and my best guess on some of that stuff though, since there are a lot of various factors at work in the whole medical fiasco.

If somebody is self pay though, they should get everything possible laid out in front of them, since there are no insurance companies breathing down their necks with certain rules. It is indeed very frustrating for a lot of us, and I am sorry as well you've had to deal with a lot of bad doctors. It seems like everyone I know has had bad experiences with doctors and dentists though! I wonder too why dentristry is completely different than regular doctors... It's still something in your body, but people have to pay insurance just for dental? Talk about silly... I am glad I have a chance at improving now though - thanks for your words!

8 years ago
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Closed 5 years ago by Zomby.