What happens when...[Extra hints added]

This happen to me every day ._.

Y u do dis senpai? I was dressed for 'ween but still the misconception :(

View attached image.

Buzzle Pump!

bump

Trip on a crack, under a ladder, over a black cat crossing your path, while breaking a mirror? I think that the negatives all cancel out, and you get to have seven years of good luck!

If you're not superstitious everything should be just fine.... except for the cat and a mirror. :P

It'll never happen. I don't use Facebook or a smart phone.

Just everday things

that is exactly what happened yesterday! are you following me around?

View attached image.

This only happens to people that multitask

You lay the blame on Facebook, sue them and get millions!

After the cat has unleashed her claws of fury you are her property now. Enjoy your many years of servitude and seven years of bad luck. I am pretty sure the karma gods will forgive you for the ladder this one time.

What happens when ... you get your dick stuck in an apple pie, which is in a microwave, during a funeral, of a stranger, which you killed by mistake after he caught you in bed with his wife and you are only 14 years old?

Have a hefty bump ^^

0/3 bump -.-

You get punched in the nuts by the EMTs because you kicked an innocent cat...

Added hint for q1 and q2.

Got Q1 and Q2 (with difficulty). The poem proves hard even with the hint :)

Bump for finally solved. Tough one, but the hints were helpful.

For Q3, I personally got a little confused by the formatting hint. In case anyone thinks the way I do, the answer will be:

"The [Wiki Title]"

The "The" is part of the answer. I for some reason took the formatting hint to suggest we supposed to be entering only the ... portion.

Extra hints added

Yay. Finally solved.

Lovely bump for a lovely puzzle :)

Q2 left. Reading about murderers t_t

Added more hints. (didn't know so many would find it this hard).

Bump for solved!