What do the new TF2 items do?

happines

They are the signal of Meet the Pyro.

They are crafting ingredients.

http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Goldfish

The "see also" links are related.

yeah they signal meet the pyro...i mean the diary is burned on the corner XD

on 6/22/12 at 3:00 PM expect something. Why? Look at the damaged capacitor it says 6.22v1500 1500 is 3PM :D

Saturday should have a big update for UTC time zone

Summer sale, i think. but burned Secret Diary...

Bloat the game.

You put them on your characters head and they do nothing.

Allow you to trade them for sexy things like money and games

All the items have something with mysterious, so i bet its indeed Meet the Pyro =)

Why cant they mean nothing? This may well be a troll update.

Occupy inventory space. Oh, and if you want to know if it's a droppable item or not (i.e. you'd have to buy a key and open a crate for it), just check the official wiki.

These new TF2 items are symbols about the impending invasion of Fat Bunny Costume Wearing Men on the internet.

I think the gold fish is the pyro's gold fish and when it died the pyro went nuts and became the pyro