How to talk to friends.

How to talk to friends?

Talking instead of sending nudes would be a good start.

I think the biggest culprit (for me at least) is time. There are people that I'm not giving them their due time, people that I feel don't care about me even when I go out of my way to message them, and people that I like out there in the internet and that I'm interested but will not tell them because it will seem awkward, and I don't want to feel unwanted/uninteresting/annoying, or to understand in from their actions that they think I'm just kissing their ass for profit.

If only I could get rid of a lot of stuff that I do that eats up large chunks of my time, or only if I could find more hours in the day, then at least I'll address some of the people that are awaiting a response of me. I don't want to be this sort of person really but I can't for the life of me figure out if it's either time that flies by so fast or it's me who's so slow and I don't know it yet, or why I can't rid of leisure activities that really add up to nothing. When I stop doing all these tasks and I look at the time it's at least 4 hours spent doing stuff that should've taken way way less time. Then the next batch of tasks arrive and I'm demoralized and I always end up sacrificing something (food, sleep, people that are awaiting me, the tasks themselves sometimes...), just to get enough instant gratification so that my mind won't explode. I'm sure many of the people who don't talk to me as much as I would like to have this exact same problem: More and more stuff to do, never-ending tasks everyday. And if they had more free time (real free time, not free time that you'll need to sacrifice something important to get it),, then they'll talk to me more...

I myself am slowly moving to put all of this mess under control, but it's a slow and painful road, like I'm paying back all the time I spent doing what I wanted... I am salvaging this sinking ship, myself...(probably need less time on Steamgifts for total recovery, oh the irony lol)

But perhaps you're not an introvert like me so having people not asking about you hits harder. Sorry about my ramblings and me talking about myself then. Just look for new people in other places that you never explored. It just might be a certain type of persons that are prevalent in your entourage or that are attracted to you. In that case just make a deliberate effort to get away from them and go explore the vast world (in Real Life as well as Online..)

well truth be told there's a lot of bad ppl out there on the internet... i'e met both end good and bad ppl in it made some friendships here as well and we speak fairly regular with some more than others truth be told xD but yeah not easy to get a friend only u just need to keep trying if u want feel free to add me on steam

I like to feel that I have a semi-decent grasp of human nature, and I have a few long-term friends (35+ years). I admit that I don't communicate all that much, as I have myself spread pretty thin as it is, but I also don't feel the need to hear from my friends every week/month/year. If you think you may be interested in chatting about human beings, sometime, reply here or post on my Steam wall and I will shoot you an invite. If not, then that's fine and I promise not to take it personally. )

You say that you have 3 people caring about you ? Stop there, you have enough friends.
All the rest will be nice social interactions from time to time, but no more. If some people tell you that they have more than 5 friends, they're liars and actually have none, and don't even know what's friendship, or they would not consider so many people their "friend".
It's a difficult task to be really close to someone, to share everything and be able to 100% be yourself, even in hard time or for deep secrets.
Also, if you pick the first person you met and just want to be close for the sake of being close, you're never going to achieve that. You don't create friend, you happen to meet people and get close by the time, because you both realize you like to be with each other.

I have a serious book suggestion for you: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/93409.The_Fine_Art_of_Small_Talk
If you can't talk to anybody, you won't be able to create bonds and will not have any friends.

Don't think that because you don't know how to talk to people you're doomed to remain alone forever. You can learn this stuff.

Also, a friend is somebody that won't hold it against you if you don't do exactly what they want. People who remain connected to you because you do what they say are not your friends.

I feel your pain, people wont talk to me anymore. 2 people on FB added me and then deleted me, like eh, you wanted friends now you delete me? But whatever, if no one cares to be my friend, then I don't care about them. One of the morons re-added me to FB... I will not be adding her back... The most racist thing I say is "I hate junkies"...
I'd like friends anywhere, from America to Mars, but once people see my Medusa face, they run. Oh well, depression is my only friend in this world.
I maybe odd, but I am trustworthy, and if I lie, I laugh. I listen to anyone if they have problems, but it seems people couldn't care less anymore.

my long time internet friends are the ones I know IRL

Don't let them get you down.

Hello jennifer, i tired to send you a friend request ages ago but i understand you may want to limit them after being disappointed. Being smomeone quite lonely i dont have any advices to gicve about social skills, alli can do is tell you to stay yourself. Feel fre to add me if you ever want though i mainly play single player games.

There is no need to making friends and keeping relationship with them. that's just a social pressure.

I don't understand humans.

If I may have a moment of your time?

I've been working on a theory about forming friendships... because I'm a male version of Bones
a) caring about something makes it harder because of overthinking it
b) other people caring can only come from exposing your weakness(es) and it is usually via those that relationships form
c) everybody hates stalkers, so being/acting not emotionally involved is a requirement
d) creating a dependence (that someone needs you) and then showing a weakness (i.e. " having a moment of weakness") in their presence will advance the relationship significantly
e) Manipulation creates best relationships - that's the ugly truth
f) Happiness is NOT other people. They attribute to it, but only because it somehow boosts your own ego, which is actual reason for happiness.

Fun fact: there is 90% chance that this post will be completely ignored as my online interactions usually go.

Another fun fact: I've switched 3 countries in 3 years, got to know many people. Out of over 250 fb contacts, only 9 send their wishes at my last birthday, 6 of them were family. 'Nuff said.

i will say this, friendships usually 'just happen', they're not to be looked for (or rather, you could go to a club or event or class with excitement about the chance, as would some of the other people, but it cant be the goal)

the other thing is i dont have expectations or hard definitions, plus my identity is mainly my actions or content, not my picture or intro text, you know who you are, other people dont need to know, especially if that identity attracts people (for profit or arousal), because they are only attracted to the identity (that is the same as plenty of other people), they cant see yourself as an individual

something must be missing in your life, hopefully it's not a goal trying to appear the same way others appear... you should do what you want to do (i know you say you want to hang out, but there must be something else that's internal)

i can offer tons of music & some philosophy as well, i do think i'm a good opportunity for you to eventually get a calmer outlook (google me to see how i'm not a nobody that can disappear, if we start talking then there's no excuse for me to stop on my end)

it's already past noon, i'm only now going to bed, sleep schedule is quite messed up... but i must have seen this thread for a reason

Perhaps you can try meeting with people with similar interests. Have you tried Meet up.com?

Yea... you are not the only one with that problem Cough Cough.
I usually look it what those specific people play and try asking about it, then the topic varies and sometimes we go all around lot of stuff and put the game or thing we talk about aside.
Im mainly doing this for people who use Steam or Discord (since its easier to stalk). So if you have no clue for what they are doing then there is nothing i could really tell you to do

So, you have nude pics?

I sent you a friend request. The easy choice would be to simply ignore it, avoid potential dissapointment of an asshole that could potentially ignore you, but what if this person is not an asshole? What makes you any better from those that end up ignoring one another if you choose to ignore others yourself? Of course, there's also a hard choice, accepting the friend request, and risk to be ignored and dissapointed once more, but on the other side, you'll also have the chance of meeting someone that does not ignore or dissapoint you.

One of the great things of the internet is that you can get rid of assholes with the click of a simple button. If you dont like someone because they ignore you, then get rid of them and try again, eventually you will succeed.

Now, I'm curious to see what choice you're going to make.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9B2TTwAZyMc

I don't think online is the right way to make new friends. You may talk to them sometimes, but often they may have something else to do and just log into Steam (or whatever other platform) to idle cards or whatever.

The only way I have made new actual friends outside school and university is by going out to with friends and meet their friends/girlfriends/boyfriends), then maybe invite them to some party you throw, even something simple like a barbecue in the back yard, some beer, some music and playing cards (don't know what games you play in the U.S. but something like Bridge or anything else you play in pairs or even simpler games like Hearts). Then maybe, to reciprocate, they'll invite you to their own back yard barbecue, where you could meet siblings, cousins or other friends of theirs. If you don't act shyly, and you start talking to some of them, maybe they'll enjoy your company and invite you to their own other barbecue, and so on.
I have made quite some new friends simply because some of them had a new girlfriend, whom I invited to my birthday party as well, then she invited me to hers, I got to know her friends and her brother, then I invited her brother, then he invited me and I met his friends, and so on.

Problem is, what to do if you really have no real friends near you to invite to a party or to go out with? Well I guess that may be a problem. But usually, one has some siblings/cousins of about the same age (here in Italy it's pretty normal to have relatives living in the same small town, or the next one, don't know in the U.S.). If you have any, you can go out with them or call them to your house and tell them to bring their girlfriends, boyfriends, best friends, and enjoy an afternoon together, or you can go to their parties.
If you don't even have siblings nor cousins, well... assuming you're living with your parents, and assuming they have a job, you could suggest them to throw a party (maybe for birthday) and invite their colleagues and tell them to bring their families.

If you aren't into party things, you could do some activity where you don't require friends, you simply meet and interact with people. For example, register for a dance class.

The more baits you place, the higher chance to get a bite you have.

View attached image.

Your logic seems a bit flawed though. Look, if you send everyone who wants them (I presume) nudes, that will eventually make you end up on some porn site. Then some shitty person who got a boner from you might find you. That would definitely take the shittiness of your life (and I'll assume it's shitty enough already) to a whole new level. That's just one of the things that could happen. You could say it doesn't matter anymore, but what's been done can't be undone. You should try to save what can be saved. When people ask for nudes when you barely know them, you can already assume they're full of shit.

Also, staying negative and calling yourself a whore like you did on the first page won't help one bit, I can tell you that. Faking to be positive isn't much better either, but you should try to be glad that your life's not even worse than it is. At least that's what I do, and oh believe me, I had my fair share of suffering. My life has been like a load of crap for like 4 to 5 years now. And unlike you who has 3 people that you can rely on, I have a single person who I'm barely talking with anymore, and a few others who I would trust but I'm unsure about at the moment. Plus my family, but I barely talk with them either, because just like you, I don't have a single fucking idea how to talk to people. We might be a bit alike.

Also, giving up on people entirely isn't the best thing to do. Think about it, you've experienced all that shit about people who only talked to you for nudes and then didn't care about you. There has to be a meaning to it all. What I mean by that is if you don't give up on people, then maybe after 10 others, but maybe the next one you'll meet will be a nice one. There is a chance. And it would mean that your suffering had an actual reason.

I'm not going to add you on Steam because other people already did, and mostly because even if I did, I wouldn't be able to talk with you because neither of us could initiate a single fucking conversation. In the end it would just seem like I'm ignoring you even though I wouldn't do that. However, despite that if you wish to add me just to rant or whatever, feel free to do so. Why am I saying that? Because I'm a weird INFJ person who wants to help others but I can't because I can't talk. Anyway, other, more competent people than me did say that they would add you/try to befriend you too, so I recommend accepting (at least some of) their offers. If they ask for nudes or other weird shit, just block them. Eventually, it might get better that way.

I along with many here are actually willing to help you and talk with you, but it seems like you're willing to give no-one a chance. In fact I just figured out that you decided to block me on Steam. So once again my question for you: How can you expect others not to ignore you when you ignore others as well?

You seem to be wanting something in life but you do not think that it's possible for you to get said thing. I've went through something very similiar in my life and managed to get over it. If said thing is having friends as you claim then let me tell you that it's absolutely possible to make and have actual friends. I might only have 2 people I deem to be real friends, one of who is someone I met online, but I do talk with them daily. It's perfectly understandable for you to want to share things with friends, talk with them over interests, or something that bothers you, but the first step has to come from you. Yes, there are going to be dissapointing moments or people that end up ignoring you, but that simply tells you that they're not true friends. Fuck them, remove them from your friends list and continue your search, because there are people out there who will be friends. Even if saying you seek friends is a metaphor because you seek something else but are afraid of getting strange reactions, there are 7.442 billion people on this Earth, whatever you seek, there is someone out there that seeks the exact same thing, and finding them might be difficult, but is perfectly do-able using the internet.

A good movie for you to watch would be Yes Man (2008). You might say that this recommendation is silly, but the movie does carry some truth, by saying no to everything in life it's going to be very hard to get the things that you want, that includes meeting new people. If you feel uncomfortable finding a friend in real life, have social anxiety, or simply dont see any interesting people, the best way to start would be online, but it does require you to say yes to friend requests, there will be a bunch of dissapointments, but eventually you will find whatever you're looking for.

There is no way around it honestly lots of people these days are selfish jerks but not everyone is like that. Seems like you have met your fair share of bad people but there are good people out there too just look at this thread and you can find more than a few. Friendships can be hard to maintain but the friendships that are meant to last will be different, you can be yourself with a person like that. Life can be shitty at times but it does have it's beauty so you shouldn't really give up on trying to make friends due to bad experiences, each experience bad or good leads to something, it makes you the person you are today and you seem like a really nice person. If you ever wanna talk you can message me, I hope you will meet people who are truly deserving of you and those who leave weren't really meant to be in your life. Take care

Hah, I can partially relate to that.
I had people delete me from their friend list because we "never really talk". Come on, so what if I don't like talking to people? I just want to like and sometimes comment their updates and screenies and just enjoy having them on my friend list, is that really too much to ask? Talking is overrated, anyway :D

That said, if you don't like talking either and want a friend who never ever bugs you with messages, feel free to add me lol :D

Why would you want people when you have Wildstar?