Were you in any toxic relationship before?
Wish you the best--- you deserve to have a relationship that helps you thrive and be overjoyed!
Comment has been collapsed.
Thank you. I'm sooo determined to leave that part behind me and be a happy bear! That's why seeing who's calling made me so upset.
Comment has been collapsed.
Can you add that unwanted number to your phone's blacklist? or use an app to do that? I think it might be useful to gaining peace of mind...
Comment has been collapsed.
What does toxic mean exactly and why is a call for help something to turn away from?
Comment has been collapsed.
Perhaps she thinks that dealing with that person again, even to help him with something would be at a cost of her own mental well-being. Toxic people are not worth dealing with and we should just distance ourselves from them, I think she's doing the best thing.
Comment has been collapsed.
I don't really feel like describing the whole situation with details, but main points of this relationship were:
- having me for doing everything for him (including work, studies, and mental/emotional support too)
- showing no support whatsoever when I needed that (and I was openly communicating about that)
- being jealous of my friends and colleagues, constantly stating "I'm your best friend, you don't need anyone else".
So yeah, after all that time I was helping him a text about help made me upset very easily.
Comment has been collapsed.
Alright, it's more clear to me now. Thanks for explaining.
Then stay strong, girl! Turning to SG for support was the best thing you could do <3
We'll help you get over that moment with our stories and our affirmations till it's passed.
Good on ya!
Comment has been collapsed.
Thank you ʕ^ᴥ^ʔ I often lurk into random threads just to find so many supportive people around, being kind even for no particular reason. And some shitposting. But mainly support :P
Comment has been collapsed.
Run away! You were good hearted to help him but sometimes you have to cut your losses. I know I don't know the whole story but while the first two points just point to him being a deadbeat, the last one is a big alarm for domestic violence. Having my best friend go through this and barely escape with her life I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Stay strong :)
Comment has been collapsed.
Toxic relationships are deserving of the name. Best to try and distance yourself from the person, and avoid contact I find
Comment has been collapsed.
I voted yes (I can think of one instance where the other person at times was really mean and unfair), but I can't say for certain that I haven't been the toxic side for someone.
Setting aside intimate relationships I have encountered far more people being toxic at the workplace and in bands (this one is like a plague - favourite bands splitting up because of this, bands of friends splitting up because of this and in bands I have played as well).
Comment has been collapsed.
Yep, was in a relationship with a girl who, every time there was a disagreement, would make it physical.
I will never strike a woman due to my size and strength, and she knew this. The day I broke up with her, I turned my back to leave and she broke my collar-bone with a ball-peen hammer (she was a metal sculptor). I turned, glared at her, and left. Last I ever saw of her.
Comment has been collapsed.
Aww, that sounds horribly painful. I'm glad that you managed to left her, though.
Comment has been collapsed.
Yeah, hopefully you'll stick it out and keep away from that woman man, too, especially if he's as toxic as you say. Too many fish in the sea to waste your time on the rotten ones. :X
Damn I need to start checking before I assume gender on these forums /facepalm
Comment has been collapsed.
Haha, worry not, I sometimes make the same mistake too ;)
Comment has been collapsed.
Damn, sorry, I didn't even notice your avatar and assumed you were a guy. Sorry about that. :X
Comment has been collapsed.
But.. but that is so dangerous, she could have hited you in the head...........damn that girl must be mentally ill?
Comment has been collapsed.
She may have been in an abusive relationship at one point and thus conditioned to respond that way, but yeah ... definitely not healthy at all.
Oh well, it was university and plenty of other women available, so I didn't stick around. :P
Comment has been collapsed.
Some people just go full rage mode if there is something they don't like. You don't really need to be mentally ill for that, just... unstable.
Comment has been collapsed.
I could imagen the things people could do drived from emotions but honestly I could never understand it. I've been mad like full rage but still could not harm a fly. Maybe I'm dead inside or I could really control myself during rage.
Comment has been collapsed.
Yeah, same here. But that doesn't make you dead inside. If anything it's the reverse. Having good control over your emotions is a good sign.
Comment has been collapsed.
Jaw literally dropped, that sounds horrible :( Good on you for walking away ♥
Comment has been collapsed.
Eh, I'm 6-4 and could easily bench twice her body weight.
I didn't have much choice, as anything else I would have done probably would have ended badly for me. :P
But thanks for the vote of confidence <3
Comment has been collapsed.
I have been yes.
To make you feel loved I have added you to my whitelist!
Hope you get over these troubles soon :)
Keep strong.
Comment has been collapsed.
Thank you for your kindness! Blue hearts are the best hearts ♥
Comment has been collapsed.
I avoid toxic relationships by being single all my life. 31 and never dated.
Comment has been collapsed.
But hey, life's about the adventures! ;)
Yet I know, some of them end badly :c
Comment has been collapsed.
That avatar and almost level 10...
You must turn down a lot of people :/
Comment has been collapsed.
I dub em Relationshits. Why? Because they aren't worth it if they don't click. Avoid the bad. Esp if it involves money.
Comment has been collapsed.
edit The picture should of course apply to the other gender as well. But it would probably look a bit weird with woman/man... she/he... daughter/son... son/daughter ; )
Comment has been collapsed.
Maybe someone somewhere will show that person who's really wrong. I'm glad you stayed away.
Comment has been collapsed.
Yes. But I was lucky and found my wife when I was 18 and she was 17. We've now been together for over 20 years. Toxic people need to go, but don't give up hope.
Comment has been collapsed.
That sounds great! ♥ 20 years together, that's really something! I hope one day I'll end in nice and last longing relationship too... well, that all of us will.
Comment has been collapsed.
I shared an apartment (in New Zealand we call it "flatting") with a girl who was in a toxic relationship. She had broken up with a guy and had moved into our apartment to create distance from him, but he kept getting drunk and showing up in the middle of the night wanting to talk to her. We finally agreed we had to call the police next time he did it. Sure enough it happened again, and she called the police. I've seen some negative things said about the cops on other threads here, but I have to say they were brilliant, and helped her to serve papers on the ex-boyfriend so legally he had to leave her alone.
She was much happier after that.
Edit: thanks for the GAs; clever choice of titles!
Comment has been collapsed.
my last relationship was toxic but even tho she kept cheating, i would forgive her and stay with her lol. that girl was perfect i would have been stupid to break up with her, ill never get a better looking girl for the rest of my life lol. even after she cheated with 5 other guys and 1 girl. i still tried staying with her, sadly she got prego by one of the other guys and went to live with him so i couldnt stay with her
Comment has been collapsed.
Whoa, she was some real asshole then. But hey, you'll find the better one for sure :3 World is plenty of girls of any kind.
Comment has been collapsed.
that girl was perfect
Except for the cheating part, of course. Some would call that a flaw.
Comment has been collapsed.
Yes its hard to find person who feat in our life in these times when world and people are different then 10 years ago...Good that you get out from toxic relationship wish you finding person who appreciate what he got in your person.
Comment has been collapsed.
I've been in a toxic relationship for over 1000 hours, then I stopped playing csgo and now I'm a happy man for over a month.
I see you're a gamer girl so I suggest you to stay away from csgo if you want to stay happy :)
Comment has been collapsed.
No! CSGO is perfect!
Even tho some players keep cheating, i forgive CSGO and stay with CSGO lol. that game is perfect i would have been stupid to break up with CSGO, ill never get a better looking game for the rest of my life lol. even after CSGO cheated with 5 other derankers and 1 griefer. i still try staying with CSGO, sadly I got kicked by the other guys and now have a cooldown
(with apologies to humankillerz ^^)
Comment has been collapsed.
I was in my last relationship 12 years, she refused to move out for 5 years after we broke up. Toxic does not begin to describe it. Even with the anonymity of the internet, I'm not going to go into it. But I'd wager few if any could top the shitshow thats been my life for the last 17 years.
Sad part is, I have children with her, so at least 13 more years of emotional, mental, physical and financial abuse can be expected.
Comment has been collapsed.
I'm reading this and I feel like I saw nothing in my life. I'm not even guessing how hard that was, especially after all that time.
Comment has been collapsed.
the thing people whove never experienced it will never understand (not you others) is of course it doesnt ever start out bad, and even when it gets bad, theres those moments where its like it never happened. Its easy to trick yourself into thinking it will get better, when you know damn well it never will. You're lucky in the luxury of being able to just break contact with your ex, stick to it, you'll never regret it.
Comment has been collapsed.
Yes, and I'd highly recommend you NOT to break the no contact, as usually the toxic person will try by any mean to get a reaction from you. And by the way, remember to whatever they say, you don't owe them anything, whatever they tell you.
And not all the relationship are toxic so there is no reason to stay in one that is :)
Comment has been collapsed.
Just wanted to say, good for you for finding the strength to get out of that relationship and, even more important, to not react to his calls/contacting!
Comment has been collapsed.
"Do this, do that or I'll kill myself" - I've heard it too often in the past (yeah, I was "lucky" to meet more than one girl of that type).
So, Vilk, learn from other people’s misfortune and don't be tricked by these "urgent requests". Try to be strong and deaf (or blind) for his words.
Comment has been collapsed.
I've been very selective with who I get into relationships with (probably a bit too selective), so I've luckily avoided any toxic relationships (of the romantic kind at least). Never had one end badly either.
I have had former friends who turned bad though, and it really hurts to cut ties with people, but sometimes it's for the best, even if you feel like the biggest jerk in the world when you tell someone that you don't want to hang out with them anymore.
Glad to hear that you had the strength to turn them down. If someone is making you feel worse, then you should not give them the time of day. Stay strong
Comment has been collapsed.
Staying out of drama is better than escaping drama that's for sure.
Really good description! Because what I mostly felt was "being a jerk" for not being nice and not helping this poor person who needs and misses me so badly... But anger about taking away my freedom was stronger there and then with time and distance, I realized it was about being used not helpful. Now I wonder what took me so long huh.
Thanks ♥
Comment has been collapsed.
I wouldn't say toxic, but I was used for every kind of benefit, sex excluded :p
Comment has been collapsed.
I was in toxic realtionship as well. Although I don't have any hard feelings towards my ex. It's more like she don't like me ;) Anyway I think that after all she was and is a good girl but she has some problems that she should work with. We've been together for about 1,5 year and she did HUUUUGE progress during this time but still this relationship was driving me mad and depressed. Took me a long time to heal my wounds but I've eventually did it and now I am in beautiful relationship with a girl I was always dreaming for (literally). And I still don't know what made me be with my ex. I guess she played well with my guilt feelings. Not saying I was perfect and she was all bad, no. I'm just saying that she had some habits that were hard to cope with - don't get me wrong but she was a girl I would never be with at the beginning and really I still wonder how we started dating each other - and despite my patience our break up was all my fault after all, of course :P Unless she's changed her mind after all this time but we don't talk so no idea...
My current girlfriend support me, we never argue and I can feel she appreciates that I am around. I can feel she's proud of.me often too so I guess I'm not that bad person as some people want me to be after all ;)
Comment has been collapsed.
It feels really nice to read about relationships that work, are fulfilling and where partners support each other. ♥ Wish you (both) all the best, Owl :)
Comment has been collapsed.
Hang in there, Vilk. The best news is that you left the relationship in the first place, which is half the battle right there. Now it's just a matter of dealing with the annoying bs that goes with this person realizing he's losing you. But I bet you'll stay strong and not deal with it. It's hard to find that balance of being gentle/nice yet firm/insistent...in many cases, the slightest kindness is seen as an opening...which is too bad because for some it makes us have to fight our natural nice, helpful self. But put yourself first-- you've put him first long enough.
You have random Internet strangers from all over the world pulling for you and ready to help! :3
Comment has been collapsed.
Yeah, my helpful self is too big for situations like that. But I guess I'll resist since this good part was shushed by anger at his behavior, especially at the end of the relationship.
And yes, random internet strangers are as helpful as always, I appreciate that :3
Comment has been collapsed.
I'm currently in a toxic relationship with myself. I really need to get out of it...
Comment has been collapsed.
I left a toxic relationship not so long ago and today I received few calls from this person and then a message "I urgently need your help".
So I thought I'll return to SG Shrine to rest and gain strength to avoid bs like that.
Were you in any toxic relationship before?
obligatory GAs
Asphyxia (Lvl2+)
Else Heart.Break() (Lvl3+)
adding more - GAs made by awesome CowOfDarkness for this thread! ♥
Sword of Asumi - Deluxe Edition (Lvl2+)
Go! Go! Nippon! My First Trip to Japan (Lvl2+)
Aozora Meikyuu (Lvl2+)
Sakura Spirit (Lvl2+)
edit (again):
It was really wise of me to turn into this Marvellous SG Shrine, really. I feel stronger and definitely WAY better than before. You people rock! And I'm wishing you all the best in return ♥
I'm sorry if I didn't respond to someone, my inbox just went BOOM and it's hard to keep up!
Comment has been collapsed.