to steal my bike out of my back garden. unfortunately for them its been snowing heavily all day till tonight, they left handy footprints, so i know which way they came and which way they ran, unfortunately they cant be followed too well though so ive got vague idea of the directions. i was about to go to sleep before this shit now i feel like i have to stay awake. bastards.

11 years ago*

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cool

11 years ago
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LOL.

11 years ago
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not funny!

11 years ago
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That was my reaction as well. I'm a bad person.

11 years ago
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D: That's terrible. I pray for your bike's safety!

11 years ago
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Orly? :o

11 years ago
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lol'd

11 years ago
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shanks is not amused

11 years ago
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Damn straight he ain't

11 years ago
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I wish I could make a face that creepy.

:-(

11 years ago
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Really?Your face is so pretty, why would you want to destroy it?

11 years ago
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Oh dear!

11 years ago
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You forgot to put.. Dear Diary.

11 years ago
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True, my bad.

11 years ago
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No freaking way?

About 5 or 6 hours ago my 11 year old brother went to the shop on his bike. All he went there for was a bottle of pepsi. He walks out and bam, his bike is gone. We drove around for hours looking for the scummy cunts that took it, but no luck.

Hope you get yours back.

11 years ago
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they tried but must have bottled it when they heard me running downstairs flipping lights.
wish i'd been quieter now so i couldve seen them. sorry about your bros bike :(

11 years ago
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Still, you were lucky.
Hopefully they will try again, without realising you attached a chain, then you can go out there and take a few of their teeth, lol.

11 years ago
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+1

11 years ago
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A few?Why not all? :D

11 years ago
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this is why you rig a taser's guts to a bike chain. try to cut it without rubber handles and get a surprise. tasers are nonlethal so it shouldn't count as a lethal boobytrap.

(except it does for prosecution purposes for some stupid reason and the guy who tried to steal your bike will press charges. stupid boobytrap laws, felt so smart when I first did it. took half the night to make sure it'd discharge at a safe voltage and my roommate's cop father makes me destroy it.
(ok thats a complete lie had you going for a bit didn't I?....

I did however read on the internet about some guy who had a pawnshop and lived on the floor above it. got broken into 3 times in two weeks so he puts up bars on the far side of the locked employees only door(so you have to break in past 2 locked doors to even reach the electric one. same gang that robbed him before comes in again, this time he didn't have much behind the counter so they tried to go upstairs. guy with a knife grabbs the bars, gets a totally nonleathal deterrent shock. except hes on a couple different stimulants and had a weak heart so it killed him and poor victim pawnshop owner got charged with manslaughter and having boobytraps)))

11 years ago
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But what if the thief has a pacemaker?

11 years ago
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tough titties

11 years ago
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thats what you get for touching other people's stuff. its the risk you take that there may or may not be a defective taser hidden in the...bike...fanny pack...thing (don't remember the name of that pouch strapped under the seat (never know what random crap a stranger may have in his pockets stick your hand in at your own risk. what you think is a wallet could be a shard of glass, why would he have a pocket full of broken glass? who knows hes just some random guy on the street, I'd say ask him but he'd certainly ask what your hand was doing there to get cut in the first place and remember he picks up shards of glass he might be crazy)

11 years ago
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Additional: I've put bells strategically on the bike and left it where they ditched it in the back garden with a bike lock on a long chain.
your move

11 years ago
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Next time just place a gigantic sign saying this bike if stolen will be blown up xD

11 years ago
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why dont u put ur bike in the garage? why would they want to steal ur bike? my bike was stolen in china when i was going to school one day and i was almost late. They cut my chain even i used the hard metal chain they still cut it off. and my bike was gone after school less then a week after i bought my first bike.

11 years ago
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i don't have a garage, not sure why they'd want to steal my bike either. sorry to hear about your bike :/

11 years ago
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np, i drive now cuz i live in the usa.

11 years ago
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SWAGtheBikeWillBeOursDoucheNugget #JUSTYOUWAITANDSEE

11 years ago
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They mostly come out at night...mostly

11 years ago
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Deleted

This comment was deleted 2 years ago.

11 years ago
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Sweet idea, only with one major drawback, i dont have any mines

11 years ago
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Bottlecap mines, Fallout style.

11 years ago
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a bear trap will work just fine

11 years ago
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Simple, 10 bottlecaps, a luchbox, a sensor module, and a cherry bomb.

11 years ago
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How ghastly.

11 years ago
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I wont be able to sodding sleep now. Bastards.

11 years ago
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Why don't you just stick it in the kitchen? Or near the garden door in the house? At least that way you know it is safe.

11 years ago
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Because i want to see them

11 years ago
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WE WERE BORN IN THE DARKNESS.

11 years ago
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Hey, someone just posted something about trying to steal someones bike where its been snowing heavily. CALL SUPPORT!

11 years ago
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get a gun

11 years ago
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in england? lawl

11 years ago
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Well, as long as you register it with the police, anyone can own a gun. Last time I checked, there is no age restriction on owning a shotgun. A two year old can have one.

11 years ago
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Wrong, they can have a licence to shoot one you can't own any firearms till your 18 :)

11 years ago
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Damn. Thanks for correcting me.

Criminals know their shit.

11 years ago
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Lol, where on earth did you hear that? :/

11 years ago
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I was reading about gun laws in our country. But it was quite some time ago, and I wasn't all that interested, so I forgot most of it, lol. A 2 year old can shoot a gun, but not own it, lol.
I don't see why they can't, I mean, imagine an army of 2 year olds, all wielding shotguns, what could possibly go wrong?

11 years ago
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break the voltage limiter in a taser. same difference.


overclock a bb gun with some paintball co2 chargers(and gum up the release valves)(lewis and clark killed buffalo with an air rifle(actually thats easier than it sounds, unlike most animals punch a hole pretty much anywhere in their chest and collapse both lungs))
you're english, build a crossbow

in their simplest forms zipguns consist of a pipe and a pin to jab the bullet in the ass...do you have access to ammo? if so you can make one out of a calk gun(actually I think thats a stapler) with like zero effort or knowledge, just make sure the barrel is the right width, strong and straight so it doesn't jam and become a pipebomb. http://www.everydaynodaysoff.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Staple-Gun-zipgun-improvised-weapon.jpg

theres a reason england has a crime rate comparable to us(and higher than most of europe in spite of their laws).

11 years ago
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Hahahaha, awesome idea guys ^_^

11 years ago
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What you gonna do when you see them?

11 years ago
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My mom has a little vegetable garden in our backyard. Some guy came to steal some cherry tomatoes from us. .__.

11 years ago
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Lol, people will steal anything and everything these days.

11 years ago
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People need to eat, hard times.

O_O

11 years ago
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Lol, but taking cherry tomatoes from a back garden is just stupid. Just go steal from an ASDA fan.
Then again, no one wants to eat horse meat.

11 years ago
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I love how someone has another thread that they tried to take a bike from this guy. They're gonna get a chainsaw though :/

11 years ago
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next time hire a bodyguard, tell him that if anyone comes at least 15 meters close to your bike, he has permission to shoot to kill.

11 years ago
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In the UK, in a Uni house where the backyards are inaccessible except to people living in the houses, someone managed to steal all the bikes out of all the yards without getting caught because some knob head left their iron gate unlocked. After that they just jumped fences. Jokes on them as I leave my Kryptonite fahgettaboudit on my bike in a fashion that makes it impossible to peddle, even if you take them off, it will always be in you way and those things are very difficult to cut.

11 years ago
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Cool, a bike giveaway

11 years ago
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bring bike indoors! problem solved. you're very welcome

11 years ago
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11 years ago
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Closed 11 years ago by Doombert.