What's Your Favorite Joke? (Ended)

My favourite joke? Close the butler of Lara Croft in the refrigerated room.... a classic! :D

"So you liked to kill stuff? how about UASHDJKKLJRKLSJADKLASJDKJASKDJLASDTIOYTRUISJK... that"

A math joke:

An infinite number of scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says to the bartender, "Give me half a beer."

The second scientist says, "Give me a third of a beer."

The third scientist says, "Give me a fourth of a beer."

The fourth scientist says, "Give me a fifth of a beer."

The fifth scientists says—

"Wait. Stop." says the bartender. He puts two beers on the counter and says, "Divide these amongst yourselves."

Why Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles always attack four of them on one?

The answer is ...
Because their teacher rat

Feminism

This is.

Don't think i have one o.O

The U.S government.

What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?

Boobies!

A Chinese guy and two Americans are going on a camping trip. One of the Americans says: "Alright, so we'll take care of the camping equipment and you", he turns to look at the Chinese guy, "take care of the supplies."

So, the day of the trip is there and the Americans drive to where they would meet up. As they start to unload all their gear, one of them wonders where the Chinese guy is.

A soft rustling from the bushes, then all of the sudden the Chinese guy jumps out and yells: "SUPPLISE!"

This one is rather funny

Quebec

The Aristocrats.

No, I'm kidding.

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?

A: "What are you shaking for, she's going to eat me!"

Why are giraffes heads so far away from their bodies? Because their necks are so long.

It's stupid but it cracks me up every time. I know...weird. And another musical one:

How do you call two violinists playing the same note? Minor second.

There once was a bacon strip that nobody wanted to eat.

My favorite jokes cant be translated to english.

But I remember that one: Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven Eight(ate) Nine. :)

Many moons ago, pony and eagle walked up to coyote. Pony said to coyote, "I am very mad at eagle, will you yell at him for me?". Coyote said to pony, " Why can you not yell yourself?" And pony replied "because i am a little hoarse"

Disney joke....
Why was tigger looking in the toilet?

He was looking for poo.

EA

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first one says, "I'll have some H2O."

The second says, "I'll have some water too. But why'd you order it like that? We aren't at work."

The first chemist excuses himself and weeps in the bathroom. His assassination plot had failed.

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face.

I've been sleeping with this bloke's wife and today he sent me this text:
"You go near her again and ill have you dead! Mark my words!"
To which I replied: "8 out of 10, I'll requires an apostrophe and a capital I."

As CS student, i can relate to this:)
http://www.devtopics.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/comic.jpg

Why are Ba, Cm, and He the healing elements?

Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!