So yet again, I've brought you to another Flohmarkt. Can you tell I was obsessed with them? This one was different from all the others because the types of things people brought were very different. Sure it might look all the same in the pictures to you, but they had different items. The merchants were also very different. These were the most open to selling and this market seemed more about the community selling it's items rather than stores coming out to make an extra profit on Sundays (though there were a few of those stalls, but a small minority in comparison to other Flohmarkts.)
Located in Friedrichshain, with no direct stop connecting it, you had to go out of your way to get here. It was one of my favorites. Of course I've probably said that about all of them, so in this case, I'd rank it at a tie with Fehrberliliner Platz.
So one time we came here, the three of us living together, and we were looking for things to furnish our apartment. My oft times depressed American roommate can sometimes be oblivious. So just as we get there, he sees some stuff he wants to check out. He brought his backpack in case he wanted to get a bunch of stuff. The problem is, while he is squatting down to look at some objects, his backpack is pushing up against a piece of wood on a milk crate that has a bunch of glasses on it.
The lady starts trying to get his attention who owns all the products. She starts getting louder and louder.
That's when I notice and she's not even directing her yells at me.
My roommate still hasn't noticed. He's lost in his own world about to break at least 40 Euro in glassware. I quickly dashed over, stabilized his backpack and stopped it from bumping against the makeshift table. "You're gonna break all this stuff" That's when I finally got him to snap out of it. That's when he started hearing the things she was saying to him. She was calling him a moron for not paying attention essentially. But he wasn't paying attention. He kind of deserved it. He'd decided to tune everyone out, and nearly paid for that decision with a bunch of money.
Instead of being abashed and moving on with his life, he got upset and started walking off on his own after apologizing to her. I called out to him to see if he was okay, but he decided to ignore me. I tried following him, but he lost himself in the crowd. I texted him and about 45 mins later, he responded saying he was on his way home because he didn't feel like being out anymore. He let one near mistake ruin his entire day. I've never understood that decision. He didn't have to go past her stall again. He let her words cut him to the bone and decided to pout instead of enjoying the rest of the day. Sometimes I don't understand people.
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Hm, while I understand your confusion at his decision, I can also understand why he did that. Or if not the exact reason why HE in particular would do it, I am able to imagine why someone would do that. I've had depression and anxiety problems for the majority of my life and sometimes it just ruins your day. Sometimes I'd be gaming with my buddies and one of them would rage a bit (rare occurrence but it happens) or one of our opponents would rage... sometimes that rage is directed at me. In that moment, anxiety would kick in and I would feel overwhelmed by the fact that someone is being negative to me and I would slip into this mood where I can't enjoy anything anymore and I just need to be left alone. It doesn't happen often; usually, I can deal with the negativity. But there are those off days where it gets to me for whatever reason and just ruins the entire day.
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I guess this was more upsetting for me in the long run, because this happened a lot with him. I personally think he's clinically depressed and needs help, but it's not my problem to fix. Myself, Him and a Friend, were all super tight, and both of us tried to have him get help. He ignored us for about 2 years. When I say ignore, I mean, that he didn't acknowledge it, or say he was thinking about it, just said nothing, or said he didn't want to, or felt that talking to a student adviser was helping him instead. Except ,none of that had any impact. I haven't seen him well since he finally started going and started taking meds. He's actually pursuing his music career finally, instead of just saying how it's impossible and so competitive, whine whine whine. :/
I care about him, but he was impossible to live with sometimes.
He features in a few other stories if you can find them ;)
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I have actually been at that stage when the slightest of arguments can affect you like that. I totally understand why he did that. It makes you feel even more unwanted and you believe that others will be better off without you.\
Oh well, that's 8 down, 2 left!
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Yeah, but we were trying to get his attention we wanted him around :D
-shrugs-
If I think that's what you think it is... then that's funny ;)
I might have made a stage 2... XD
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Stage 2??!!!
But absolutely no one has managed to clear stage 1 yet! You are a cruel person! :P
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The questions haven't even been up for 24 hours :D
Of course no one has solved it :)
Perhaps I'll leave another clue for now ;)
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Well, I am taking a break for now until the hints arrive. Stuck at question 2 and 3. I am pretty sure I went through 2, but I can't find it! 3 I have absolutely no idea!
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Two is easy! I gave you four entry points didn't I? ;)
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just to be sure
there is not stage 3, right?
solved half of 2 out of my memory now, but need to re-find some of the others -.-'
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I'm not answering that. :)
But if there were.... I'd have to say that it wouldn't be like the others ;)
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you want to kill me, right? xD
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Why would I want to kill you? You seem nice :D
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As the 2 other users that commented, I kind of understand him as well. I personally would have been pissed for a bit but then be fine again but I take things more personal than others which then makes me sad often even if people didn't mean what I understood. I think your friend might be a combination of a depressed wrack (and I don't mean to insult him) with anxiety disorders and is not being able to handle feelings well. If he does not want to do therapy, there's nothing you can do.. It can only work if he's encouraged to work towards a goal and realizes himself that he needs help. Even if that takes a long time and cause a lot of problems, I know what I'm talking about since I met many "broken people" in my life.. :/
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Yeah, I might have been too, I tend to take things personally, but as I've gotten older, I've tried to stop as much, because often, people just aren't even concerned about you and they didn't mean anything by it. I know what that's like too, the feeling sad bit. I had a run in with a couple people in the recent past because of just that same thing. Only they decided to punish me for my interpretations instead of understanding how I could possibly feel.
He finally did manage to get therapy, but not till after we got back and he'd graduated early, giving up half of his degree as well. He's starting to make progress, but I limit my interactions with him, because he doesn't know how to take responsibility for himself. He's starting to now, but honestly, I can't let that kind of negativity into my life.
There's more to this, but I'm not going to go on about it.... too negative.
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I absolute love those places !
I've been in Germany a few times and I always tried to find when and where they were in order to go.
Got some pretty neat stuff for my crystal collection from there.
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There are quite a few to visit, I posted all the good ones as their own places... There are definitely more, but I didn't make it to all of them. There was only so much difference one could expect :D
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It's easy to let people get the best of you sometimes. Also important not to let them win. I have terrible general anxiety, and I think most of it is from neuroborelliosis, but I think I had a lot being young too with Autism Spectrum issues. I understand today that I choose to be happy or not, and no matter how much the "stuff" I am dealing with wants me to fold and give up, I continue to press forward. I guess that is one thing it has taught me. Easier said than done, but I have gotten stronger in some ways while it's made me weaker in others. Still, I have found a lot of great things and silver lining to what's happened.
On a side note, feeling much better the last week or two, overall - found a digestive problem that was going on, and the new meds I am taking for it are allowing more vitamins to get into my system. Hoping in time it can help a lot of my other probs, since the vitamins can only help, in my case.
Gotta run, and it's a good thing, since I was about to add about 5 more paragraphs! This train is amazing, keo!
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Yeah, I agree with you. You can't let them win, cause they typically don't even know they've won. They are over and done with it, you're not even a fleeting memory anymore.
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Just curious: do you suspect your friend might have had attention deficit disorder (which can create of lot of problems in life and lead to depression)?
You said he has a history of inattention ("can sometimes be oblivious").
In this story you said he didn't notice the glasses, he didn't notice someone was yelling at him, and, "I finally got him to snap out of it... She was calling him a moron for not paying attention essentially. But he wasn't paying attention. He kind of deserved it."
Regardless of the reasons for his depression, that situation was probably more upsetting than it appeared to you, because it wasn't a simple mistake in isolation - it was a mistake that demonstrated (for the 1 millionth time) his general problems and inferiority. He didn't hear, "you made a stupid mistake in this moment," when she yells at him and tells him he's stupid. He hears, "you are worthless, just like everyone else says and just like you already believe." That single incident reminds him of why he deserves to be treated poorly, not just in that moment, but throughout his life.
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I'm on the spectrum. ADD & ADHD. I'm quite familiar with it. He doesn't fit on it at all actually. He's just careless and self-absorbed.
While I get what you're saying... he had plenty of people always trying to get him to do things and go out with them....
It was frustrating. I can't go on about this more as I'm getting ready for work... but yeah... I know... but even knowing... frustrating.
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Yeah. It's frustrating when the people we care about won't do what's best for themselves. Sounds like he was lucky to have you as a friend.
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Yeah... Meh. All I can say is I did my best to help him, but you can't force someone to want or even accept help. Personally I feel as if I did my job as a friend and I can't really find fault in the way I handled things. That's important to me... that I did what I could, regardless of the results :D
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Thank you so much keohookalani :-)
Cheers mate.
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yw :D
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