Get a boring Christian girlfriend.

Washing machine.

Naked zombie

Something like that:

View attached image.

In general you have two choices, a well placed stab to the head or years of conditioning.

acquiring a wife

Don't wash your brain, it's a waste of time and money.
Buy a new one would be more efficient, since most people simply never use theirs.

There is no hope for your brain. Lobotomy is your only answer.

Religion

Enema

Watch politics.