You may have already heard this one, but:
Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy thinks for a while, and says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’
Two mates were at the tavern when a pirate with a whalebone leg, a hook and an eyepatch came in. After a minute of staring at the mangled seaman, one of the men spoke up.
"How'd you lose that leg, mate?"
The pirate proceeded to tell them of a gruesome battle with a deathless crew of cursed skeleton men. The two men were flabbergasted.
"How did you lose your hand, mate?" one of them asked next.
The pirate proceeded to tell the two of a fight with the zombies where his hand was eaten off. The two men were surprised.
"Then, how did you lose your eye? Was that in the zombie fight or the skeleton fight?"
"Oh, that? A seagull pooped in my eye one day."
The two men were astonished.
"Was it a demon seagull with fire droppings?"
"Nope. Normal seagull. But that was the first day I had me hook."
A woman goes to a store to buy a sweater. She goes to the cashier but her visa gets rejected. The cashier asks "May I see your cardigan?" Ba dum tssss. Thanks. x
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter.
The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
But I'm not funny ;_;
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ah well, just do what i do in that case and google one from someone who is funny :D
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So cheat, just like in everything else I do in life. Gotcha ;D
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thumbs up
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Ur mum lol.
Hah! I totally nailed it with that one. Like your mom.
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Saw this on reddit
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hahah :D
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A guy walks into a bar! Ouch!
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Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.
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lol
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What animal is white and looks like a tooth?
Molar bear
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woooots :D
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terima kasih ^^
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Seasons still exist
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ty
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Pink ping pong balls
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oh wow.. can't think of anything to say on that one...
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What's the difference between Bullet Hell and Bullet Heaven? The answer's mindset.
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GG
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Well... I know no good jokes.
BUT I can say Thanks for reminding me about this game... forgot all about it
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blacklists for not having a joke okay i wouldn't hahaha
all good :D
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thank you :D
what do you get when u combine sulfur, silver, and tungsten?
SWAg
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aww cute
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Ｔｈａｎｋｓ
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You may have already heard this one, but:
Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy thinks for a while, and says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’
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LOL haven't heard that one :D
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Thanks for the chance. :D
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Why can't pirates finish the alphabet? they get lost at C
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i really thought it was gonna end ujp an 'arrrr" joke :D
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Two mates were at the tavern when a pirate with a whalebone leg, a hook and an eyepatch came in. After a minute of staring at the mangled seaman, one of the men spoke up.
"How'd you lose that leg, mate?"
The pirate proceeded to tell them of a gruesome battle with a deathless crew of cursed skeleton men. The two men were flabbergasted.
"How did you lose your hand, mate?" one of them asked next.
The pirate proceeded to tell the two of a fight with the zombies where his hand was eaten off. The two men were surprised.
"Then, how did you lose your eye? Was that in the zombie fight or the skeleton fight?"
"Oh, that? A seagull pooped in my eye one day."
The two men were astonished.
"Was it a demon seagull with fire droppings?"
"Nope. Normal seagull. But that was the first day I had me hook."
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hah!
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Thank you!
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Thanks for the chance! :)
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Thank you for the giveaway!! :D
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A game for you too!
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A woman goes to a store to buy a sweater. She goes to the cashier but her visa gets rejected. The cashier asks "May I see your cardigan?" Ba dum tssss. Thanks. x
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hah cute too :D
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Laughing stock.
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badum cha
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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter.
The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
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hah nice
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