I'm sad

I feel very much the same. I love video games but I suck at them, so I've always avoided playing multiplayer.
I hate how people vote to kick me out during a game because I suck.
Hope you feel better mate.

Yep that's the reason why I don't play multiplayer games 🙂

Don't let yourself get down because of such idiots 😉

i understand, i also dislike competitive games, pvp, or multiplayer in general. i even avoid places like the steam forums and each game community because they tend to be filled with trolls and idiots.

don't let the trash get to you, just enjoy gaming.

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It looks like you may want to diversify your hobbies so you have something fun to do while your dad needs the computer, instead of just being waiting for your gaming time. Reading books immediately came to my mind, as you seem to feel the need to escape from reality.

What happened to "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"? But seriously, the gaming community is rough. Maybe you should afford a handheld like a Game Boy 3DS if you want to liberate yourself from the dependence of one PC.

There are a lot of toxic multiplayer game communities out there. The best trick to navigate such an atmosphere is to find 1 or 2 other friends to begin to play with and stick with them while playing multiplayer.

All in all, I never cared how 'skilled' a team mate might be, it's all about being a good team mate to me. Tryhards that go off and get themselves killed, then turn around and rage at the team because we didn't all follow them like lemmings are a perfect example of bad team mates.

Just have fun and don't sweat the trolls. =)

"if you aren't a hardcore gamer and aren't white, cis, straight and male, you aren't welcomed" and I'm not one of these "accepted" people

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Internet%2C_nobody_knows_you're_a_dog

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Play multiplayer too if you want, just mute toxic players :D
Don't worry about your skill, that's not your problem, the matchmaking should care about that, not you.
Have fun and ignore everything else :p

Multiplayer games are frequently toxic, especially the big ones.

If you want some friendly multiplayer games to get into, where you won't be shouted at, here's some pointers (note, I've picked ones where you'll likely be part of a team, rather than one on one multiplayer):
FPS - Red Orchestra 2: Heroes of Stalingrad (or the recent successor, Rising Storm 2). Very hard core shooter, EVERYBODY dies a lot, but the community are nice and because its 32v32, if you do bad, nobody will notice.
RTS - Men of War: Assault Squad 2. The skill level in this RTS is relatively low overall, some people are very good, but the majority are simply "okay". Makes a good first RTS and if you can get into games with people of equal skill level, you'll learn fast. Up to 8v8.
Also RTS - Age of Empires 2 HD. Classic RTS, very easy to match with people of similar skill levels. It takes a long time to get used to, but the community is great. Up to 8 players in any mix of teams.
RPG - Mount & Blade: Warband. People on the vanilla multiplayer are pretty good, but if you can get into a team you'll do well. If you get the Napoleonic War mod, there are plenty of regiments that do regular events. Find a nice community and join them. You really don't have to be good at shooters to play Napoleonic War.
Other - Blackwake. I'm really enjoying this right now, if you play as a crew member with a good captain, the experience in fantastic. Recommend you meet some regulars and try to play with them more often.

You'd be welcome (and so is anyone) to come join and play on any of the above with me and my mates whenever, just drop me a friend request and say you read this.

I'm kind of the same, I mostly got into gaming because my girlfriend passed away and I also suffer from PTSD and it started as an escape. Over time, I began appreciating video games a lot more, but I too just play single player games cause I just want to have fun and be able to turn off my brain for a couple of hours a day, so I can simply cope with myself.
I know it's not much, but welcome to my whitelist, you seem like a really nice person :)

it's a shame that you feel like this, and even more than you are not the only one. i wish we could just enjoy videogames without harassing or intimidating other people, just because they are (insert here whatever you wish). what MP game would you like to play?

I don't have anything better to say than what has already been said here. So I'll just wish you a fantastic day :3

dealing with people always ends in disappointment.
the sooner you stop caring / expecting something else the better.

at any rate i prefer the singleplayer experience as well. though i play some relaxing games online like killing floor 2 just for the lulz.
just stay away from anything pvp or competitive. people act like idiots and dicks all the time and before you know you act like one yourself as soon as you feel like someone's not doing as well as he should. that's especially true for team based games where your progress, reward and success depends more on your overall team than your own personal score. horrific.

As someone who is more of a casual player and play only single player games (and also being queer) I feel you. I just want to enjoy games at my own pace, so many people in the gaming community I've seen look down on people who game casually like we are lesser for not throwing everything into perfecting games and completing challenges. I don't care about getting gud, if it's too hard that it's not enjoyable I'll just don't play it. Many people in real life assume I mean LOL or Dota when I say I play games and some even act like I'm lying when I correct them. In the end though games are entertainment, how I enjoy my own free time is no one else's business. You should just ignore all the idiots who think they have the right to judge you; a large part of gaming community is definitey much nicer, and there are many places for casual fans to communicate.

I also feel you about being depressed with games being a mean of escape from reality (though in my case I do have other hobbies). Maybe when you can't play games you can read discussions about games you really like, or watching some yt videos about them. It helped me when I couldn't play and miss my games. With your dad I think you should talk to him, you said you have a laptop can you play on that when he's using the computer? I'm sure you'll find a way to satisfy both of you. I hope the situation will get much better for you soon.

In any community on the net, like in the real world, you have good people and also a few very bad, rotten and toxic ones. Just focus on the good people and not on those envious and jealous rejects. Single player games have also the advantage to not have cheaters playing along side of you and If you know some good people/friends you can have some co-op fun.

first of all what do you mean by "vocal people"?
second pardon my broken English, and third sorry if these tiring lame paragraphs is not what you are looking for

I can say that I have great people around me and that I grew up in a good community, but not everyone I met in life was nice and sweet
everyone is a jerk at some point in his life, even the greatest people you can think about might have done something bad in their past
this might sounds like I'm just trying to comfort you but trust me, I used to hate people and choose to be alone most of the time, although there are still a few people that I can trust and comfortable to be with
I usually share my thoughts with them, but I kept most of the things to myself because I just don't want to be a bummer

Listen, I'm not and expert but if you haven't realized it let me tell you something, good people can turn evil at some point in their life even for a split second when they are given authority and anonymity
and that is one of the biggest reason from why there are a lot jerks on the internet
especially when you play online games where you just met for a couple hours, so don't sweat it
I myself didn't usually blame others from what's going on especially if they didn't know what they are doing
I play games to have fun because for me having fun with games is one of the things that makes me happy
and I bet we can all agree that all we need in life is to be happy no matter what

you really are not alone in this journey, and I could assure that because I'm here to help and I do want to help you to at least share the pain
I'm not gonna toss some lame words of encouragement so I'm gonna be honest with you
I don't know what's going on in your life, but if you are that depressed about something that has happen in your life or is happening right now, there are great people that care about how you feel and I'm sure of that
reach out to someone you are comfortable with and talk to them, share your thoughts with them because like someone said, "a problem shared is a problem halved" and it is true because I've felt how it calm my feelings when I do so
you might not be able to find the solution right away but when you share what's in your mind with someone else, you will feel better about yourself because then you are not fighting alone, and I'm pretty sure you knew about this already from what I've read in your post

that's all I can say for now
if this is not what you think you need then I'm sorry for taking your time reading all this nonsense
but if it is then feel free if you want to talk more about it :)

I could just copy & paste that post to describe me (except for the computer thing) - Especially regarding the fear of getting harassed (and since I'm queer too the amount of harassment I get is pretty large).
I myself got kinda lucky and have some (online) friends, and they are the only ones I play multiplayer games with, because I know they're not harassing, not shouting, and also don't care if I fail since I do pretty bad at about any game too.
The only multiplayer games I play alone sometimes are Playerunknown's (everyone against everyone, you can turn off the voice chat) and ShootMania (there is no voice chat, or if there is, nobody ever used it).

In my real life (I still go to school) I try to oppose the harassment by being as open as possible about my sexuality etc., so it looks like I'm unassailable (which I'm definitely not).

I don't know why I wrote this answer, since it contains absolutely nothing that could help you, or is interesting at all, but I guess I just wanted to write down about those feelings too, or wanted to show that you definitely are not alone with them... Don't know if it helps.

But reading your post helped me a bit to see I am not alone.
So thank you for this post!

Not only are they vocal, most of the time they are only partially serious about the things they say.

"Git gud" started out as a joke, and still is for the most part, but like everything some take it too far and think it's an actual argument now.
Gamers do count on others having a thick skin because it has become so normal to throw jokes and memes at each other that aren't intended to be taken seriously, as evidenced by the fact that the VAST majority of attacks you'll face are stereotypes. I don't know exactly why this has become so common, but I guess it's because many of those memes and jokes originated from online games (Call of Duty's infamous multiplayer banter for instance).

Girl? Bad at games (it's true that fewer female players gamed years ago, but that has really changed over the years, and there is no reason why a lower number of female gamers would affect the skill levels of those that do...)
Casual (or simply asking for advice)? Git gud.
Gay or any other form of sexuality? Well, you know.
Did something wrong or are talking back? Prepare for the mom jokes OR fatal (disease, actions) attacks.
It's predictable, sad, and old, and if you're sensitive to that I can see why that would concern you. It isn't mature, but it is "normal" for gamers to do that. They are trying to get a rise out of you just to be edgy.

I don't particularly like it, but it doesn't concern me anymore either. It has nothing to do with the person saying it (mental health for instance) unless they actively start cyber bullying you or something.

Nobody really cares who you are in an online multiplayer environment. Whether you are male, female, straight or LGBTQ, etc. They will make fun of you regardless. One thing you should never do is tell who or what you are specifically in an online game or forum because that simply gives them a stereotype to aim for.

Gamers are not universally racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. But they do love to joke about these things because 1: Anonymity and 2: Stereotypes are (sometimes) funny to a lot of people, but can be offensive. 3:There is this disconnect because they can't see who they're talking to, they can't gauge their reactions, there are no immediate consequences, and in the context of a game everything is just a joke.

They often have no basis in reality, but the internet is a whole different beast. I'm not trying to be apologetic "in the name of all gamerkind" but, if you are able to, you need to look at those events using a different lens. These aren't bad people that actually want to hurt you, they just don't feel like they actually are. Online personality =/= Real life personality.

ok

The thing about multiplayer is, the bigger the community is, the shittier it gets. Especially now that e-sports are starting to get big and most games have a ranked or competitive mode to them. Many people play them, not because they enjoy them, but because they have the delusion that they'll be the next big name in the game and can't deal with the fact that they legit suck, so they blame it on their team. No, xX_420sniper69_Xx, it's not my fault you don't win and you're not stuck with shitty team mates, you're the shitty team mate and if you're in this rank, then you probably belong in it.

If you go to games where the community is smaller, they tend to be chill people. Red Orchestra 2, as horrifying as the game and themes in it where, had/has a great little community that is actually playing to have fun and I've had great moments with them. Learning curve is pretty steep tho, I won't lie. Rocket League also has a pretty chill community, from what little I played. Then again, I never went into ranked and I guess people are holding controllers in that one, so typing in chat isn't as simple.

At the end of the day tho, multiplayer games are all about demonstrating skill to overcome other people, so you do need to take that into consideration rather than expect it to be the same experience as a single player game. But you also have to remember that it's really about what enjoyment you get from them and that it doesn't matter what other people say. If they call you bad, let them. If you're having fun from the game you shouldn't really take into consideration what some bitter twat has to say regarding your skill. Plus you get better as you play. It's very freeing to realize that the letters other people type on the internet are devoid of any meaning except that which you chose to give them.

Oh yeah, people being cunts in games also seems to be a bit of a regional thing. People are apparently a lot more caustic in US servers than EU ones from the looks of it. If it's because of language barriers or different outlooks on social aspects, is anyone's guess. I hear some really bad stuff about games like Overwatch from US players, but I gotta say I don't have too much to say about the community in the European server. There's the odd asshole every now and again in ranked, but overall, people tend to be quiet and just play the game.

I disagree with the whole "gamers mindset" thing tho. Sure, there's a (very) vocal minority of cunts, and some elitism, like with any other hobby or type of media. But again, do you. You suck at games and play them casually? Nothing wrong with that if you enjoy them. And especially if you're playing single player games, then that really isn't other people's problem. I mean, if you go on a forum to complain a game is hard, you will get "git gud"s, but that's a whole different story about how not everything has to appeal or be designed for everyone.

Gaming as a hobby is a very new thing. Most of the people who get into it are young. And there has never really been a generation of more accepting and welcoming people ever. I legitimately think most people into gaming are very open minded and won't really think much about who you are or what makes you. Sure there's assholes, there's always been assholes and there will always be assholes and chances are, they're the vocal ones. You wanna change that, you gotta be part of the solution. Going online to complain about problems won't fix them. And I'm not saying you shouldn't. Kind words are always nice, and others inputs might help. But you have to be active about fixing things. Airing your grievances will make you feel better for a little while, but it doesn't work in the long run. And as someone who's been diagnosed with depression and crippling social anxiety years, I know that more often than not the majority of negativity comes from oneself, from the same place that lets you only see the worst people will say and never the good stuff. But you gotta realize you're probably not someone you should listen to regardless, so you go and find things you enjoy and things that make you feel better. Hydrate. Have a snack. Excercise a bit. Realize everything is inherently worthless and give into the benign indifference of the universe. Open the window and catch some sun. Will it fix everything? Nah. But it'll make you feel a little bit better. And trust me, it's a start.

"This post has no point"

Nobody has point on this website since the new update anyway...

Here's an e-hug for being awesome. I probably could have written pretty much the same post when I was a bit younger, though I'm not sure I would have been as brave to be as direct about my feelings. I don't think I can offer much other than to say, it really does get better. I've found for my depression, I just have to experience life and figure out what works for me, which means you can't really be told how to fix it. Take risks and don't be afraid to fail, so you don't have to dwell on things you wish you had done in the past. Your kindness and positivity directed at others in this post is a good sign. Just keep leaning into that when you need to. I play Stardew Valley when I'm feeling anxious and awkward. I can just relax and be myself.