I'm sad

Sent you a friend request

I am one of those casual gamers who plays just about everything and shies away from multiplayer, PVP and competitive play because, in my experience, it is a breeding ground for cheaters, trolls and toxic people. (Ever read the Diablo 3 forums? Sheesh!) However, I am currently playing a couple of MMO's entirely solo. Sure, it's harder to play without guilds/clans/friends or the assistance of others and it can take 2-3 times as long to acquire decent gear or stats compared to people who do, but I don't have to worry about garnering criticism from other players who take gaming way too seriously.

Simply put, I just want to goof off and have fun.

Don't get me wrong as I'm not saying to follow my example since it is what I choose to do. What I am saying is that are some multiplayer games out there that allows for solo play, but don't be afraid to take a chance to play alongside others as you might actually run into some decent people who are more than willing to help and want make new friends. Furthermore, never be ashamed of or afraid to be yourself because you're afraid what others might think. There are far more caring, socially awkward and empathetic folks out there than you realize.

You're not alone, my pal. I know what you've seen and I feel it, too. We're in similar boats, and I don't want you to think that you're the problem.

Some people don't think that harassment on the internet is 'real' but I know that's not true. You don't have to make yourself suffer through things just because you feel like you 'have to'.

I love singleplayer games for the same reason you do, and there are still ways to connect with people even if you're playing the game alone.

I like SteamGifts, but mostly because it lead me to find a wonderful community called Backlog Assassins. There's a recruitment post going around the forums that I'll dig out and find but this is such a positive, nice community where you can post reviews of your progress in games and it's supportive and fun and I'm so happy I found it.

edit: here it is!

Why would anyone care about the sexuality or ethnicity of another gamer? Even with voice chat one can't tell the difference...

1. A big percentage of people will be dicks in every community. From gaming to work to the morning bus. It's not fair and it's not nice and yes I feel like punching people sometimes, but your best defense is to learn to ignore them. I'm a work in progress, but the best skill one can acquire is to learn how to not be affected (OK, be minimally affected) by the dickiness around them.
2. Books would be my go-to as an alternative. There are millions of books, I'm positive that you just haven't found what works for you. If you really don't like anything that exists, then write your own, though, why not? Write a story about the gaming community and how a vigilante gets rid of all the bullies. :-)
3. We often don't pay enough attention to the people around us who do accept us. I mean, does your father accept who you are? Do you have friends, or people who you could cultivate a friendship with? Work with that and focus on the relationships that work in your life. We tend to forget about them and they wither, because we focus too much on the opinions of people who don't matter.

hello, just wanted to tell you you're not all alone with your feelings. reading books is also something that lets me dive in to another world.

take care!!

I'm in a really different situation than yours, but yet I feel the same about the gaming community.
I mean I'm straight, white, very good at videogames, and I usually get along nicely with everyone, but I just can't stand ignorance and stupidity, even though it is directed at someone else or even at no one, and the world is full of ignorance and stupidity.

Psychologists may tell you (and me) "just ignore it, since you can't do anything about it", but how can you?
I cannot answer that, and I don't want to. Everyone must find their way into life without listening to anyone, otherwise you become one of the many.

As for me, I just avoid bad places and be active in good communities, like you're doing. After all that's what we do in real life, why shouldn't we apply the same rules on the internet?
An advice: the most popular places becomes popular because they have almost zero moderation, like Facebook and Twitter, and even Steam, that's why I tend to avoid them like the plague (I don't have an account on those social networks, and I'm only active in well moderated sub-forums on Steam).

Good luck and keep yourself busy with stuff you like doing :)

I think that we can all agree that general mindset of (the most vocal) gamers is "if you aren't a hardcore gamer and aren't white, cis, straight and male, you aren't welcomed"

Never really felt that personally, but then again I hang only on steamgifts and I dislike contact with some random people and competitive games, so I don't actually play multiplayer (if I do I play with friends in private games and in relaxed atmosphere). I tried some stupid korean mmorpg when I was in school, it had quite welcoming community (at least on that server), but it was too social for me. Maybe you should try something like that?
Or you could find some groups that focus on playing more competitive games, but with more civilized manners/language? I vaguely remember group like that for lgbt people, that wanted to avoid certain insults in their games.

Well I can say that (based in my experience):
what other thinks about you doesn't matter, the really important thing is what you think about you... so don't feel bad for the "gaming community" always will be jerks in any group of people.
about the escapism I do the same thing, the games are my way to forgot this *****ing civilization (I initially wrote planet and life but these don't are bad, the people are the problem again), and if you can't play because the pc is busy I recommend you take a novel, tale or narrative book , is anothe great way for be someone or be in another place for a time, I recommend you one of my favourites: Robinson Crusoe, but read anything you want... good luck and be happy!

Here's a tip: avoid multiplayer games that don't have skill-rmatching. You'll run into fewer elitist assholes that way.

I generally prefer single-player games too. If you want to play some multiplayer, find a friendly crowd (like the folks here). Playing with strangers is asking for abuse a lot of the time.

know that feeling, i am also dead inside, but i can make u a little happier, i have a key for wuppo from your wishlist, do ya need it? ;D

Sometimes I also feel like this site is almost like an oasis of kind people in the desert of scorching negativity that the online gaming community has become.
I also preffer singleplayer games most of the time but when it comes to online I stick to Rocket League, you don't need to talk if you don't want to and most interactions just go as far as the shortcut chat, for me is the perfect game for a quick impersonal match.
About the discrimination thing I actually feel safer talking about my sexuality doubts in the internet than in real life, I already am a white cis male after all so adding the straight part in public life always feels like the easiest way out.

sending you love and encouragement buddy

I used play MMOs with guilds (and I guess depending on the MMO) joining a low to medium high tier group is the most fun i.e. rank 6-12 of course depending on the population of players. They tend to be more chill but provide enough push and sometimes resources to recruit and improve the guild minus the highly competitive top five or so ranks fighting all over each other( read paying real cash). I tend to like SP games better and never got into any competitive pvp or shooter MP, preemptively avoiding any toxic players. It's the adrenaline anonymous trash talking so don't take it too personally, half the time the other person probably didn't mean it either except in the heat of the moment, forgive and forget. Unless you're in a real competitive or toxic community where you knew what you were getting into like CS GO.

I think that we can all agree that general mindset of (the most vocal) gamers is "if you aren't a hardcore gamer and aren't white, cis, straight and male, you aren't welcomed" and I'm not one of these "accepted" people. I suck at video games, I'm very sensitive to harassment and negativity, I'm anxious and socially awkward, I'm queer. I don't play online, I love my singleplayer games, and even though I'd love to try multiplayer games, I know I'd get shouted at pretty quickly.

I'm not even sure what all of that means, or why it should matter to anyone who calls him/herself a "gamer."

I don't see skin color, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, socioeconomic background, religion, or even if you're a cat or dog lover when I see a gamer. I simply see someone who enjoys playing games.

If you're finding yourself surrounded by those other types of people, perhaps you need some new gaming friends. Real gamers, because real gamers love games too much to hate anyone else who loves games, in my opinion.

Hmm, I have quite a bit of things to say, so not sure where to start. It's also late and I just got off work so my state of mind isn't at its best - however I will try to write my thoughts the best I can.

You and I share very similar gaming "traits" (for lack of better words?) as in I'd rather play a good single-player game than a multiplayer game. Don't even get me started on competitive multiplayer. I also suck at video games in general. If you feel uncomfortable with the general attitude of multiplayer gamers, I highly suggest either:

1. Stay away from them. Gaming is for fun - it isn't worth it if you're not having fun.
2. Find yourself a few people/friends that you feel comfortable playing with, and limit your multiplayer activity to this group of co-players.

That aside, I have to disagree with your opinion:

I think that we can all agree that general mindset of (the most vocal) gamers is "if you aren't a hardcore gamer and aren't white, cis, straight and male, you aren't welcomed"

That is definitely incorrect - the fact is, "toxic" people will find ANY reason to hate or belittle another person or fellow player. Even if you matched the criteria you made up, a toxic person will be a toxic person. Say you're playing a game; Are you skilled? They'll say you're a hacker. They'll blame your "noob gear". They'll throw random insults. It's not about who you are - it's about who they are, and they are simply a bad person to interact with. My suggestion in these situation is to remember this; The best person isn't the one being a prick. If you're having fun and not being an ass on purpose, then the other party is in the wrong for hating/accusing/belittling you.

In some cases, people just get lost into the game. They get overly competitive and get pissy. I forgive them for being so. Don't get me wrong, it's not right, and it's inexcusable, but I'll still forgive them for being who they are. Maybe they had a bad day. Maybe they just don't get the love they deserve. Fuck if I know. Not everyone has a good life, and I try to keep that in mind whenever someone is angry or unpleasant. Even I sometimes lose my way and lose my cool. Heck, that even happened here on Steamgifts a few times, and I feel sorry about it. It's the past though, what is done is done - the important thing is to make an effort. Unfortunately, many people don't have the ability to do so, and that's how "toxicity" in gaming communities is born.

Anyways, I'm rambling (holy smokes, that wall of text!)

My point is, don't feel down because some random stranger on the internet doesn't like you or is angry with you. People are asses - don't be one. As long as you aren't one, you're the best person. Ultimately, the other person's insults/hating is just proof of them being less worth than you are.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's always a nice change of pace to have a discussion other than "what do you think of the new points change" (okay, is this becoming the new SG meme?)

Cheers! (And sorry for the wall of text. Late night rambling.)

If you have a phone then maybe you could distract yourself with some good ol' phone games. I know this might trigger some people that thinks mobile gaming isn't a real "thing", but I don't know. I like playing both mobile and PC games.

Other than that, as for the online multiplayer thing-- I feel like if you're not playing competitive games, I don't think people would shout at you for being bad at playing a game?? Games supposed to be an enjoyable activity for people to engage in. If you're not having fun, then is there really a point? I don't know. I'm don't play competitive games. We all have things we're good and things we're bad at. Give multiplayer a try if you like! There are a lot more nice people who would make your gaming experience better.

What i do is play different multiplayer games with my 2-3 friends from school... we just start voice chat through steam or discord and just try and play different multiplayer games......never exactly tried to win most of the times (sometimes only) but we still have a lot of fun playing the game even if we lose all the games

The vocal, aggressive ones are the ones that stick out and you remember them. They are the minority, don't forget that.
They are the little bullies who only dare say something behind anonymity but when it comes to speaking out at school, work or in public they either hide behind others in fear of showing how stupid and ignorant they are or actually prove it.
They can be annoying, but try to ignore them or report them where posible.
And don't forget the majority of the people just want to have some fun playing games with anybody no matter who you are, where you're from or what you do.

Just be yourself
and sing!
dedicated to all of them!

Turn off chat and voice chat and youre good to go to try multiplayer games without fear, you by default, litearly right now, cannot hear or see anything social from players in Fortnite Battle Royale. Youve missed out, dont be afraid and get into the action, it wont kill you.

I think that we can all agree that general mindset of (the most vocal) gamers is "if you aren't a hardcore gamer and aren't white, cis, straight and male, you aren't welcomed"

Totally disagree. The hardcore part might be true for some games, but other than that? How do you find out who you're playing with/against? Unless some rare instances of voicechat where it's unclear if you have a woman or a little boy speaking there is literally no way to find out about anything, so why should I care?

I'm anxious and socially awkward

+1

I suck at video games,

If you read one or two guides and watch some "proplays" you're already better than some player. If you then train against bots for a couple of hours you're already better than a lot of people.

I'm very sensitive to harassment and negativity,

Well, here you are out of luck. In basically every bigger competitive online game having a non toxic game is like winning the lottery. I know it's easier said then done, but either ignore people or make fun of them. I rage when I get flamed as well, but I figured flaming back and/or trolling can be quite fun sometimes.
But it maybe helps if you search some (online) friends you regulary play with. Then at least your team isn't toxic.

I'm queer

Again. Unless you write it in your nickname, nobody knows. And (as far as my experience goes) nobody every referenced (real) ethnitcy, sexual orientation or gender in any insults. Besides those damm russians destroying all our games. Damm them^^. Tbh, one of the friendliest players I ever encountered was a (probably drunken) russian, that talked nonstop via voicechat, explaining us the game (everyone had 1000h+ played) and telling us what to do (even the most obvious things). Was a pretty fun person.

but the most vocal people are the most aggressive ones

Jeha, well. If you play good, you get a "well done" or something and thats it. If you play bad, you get flamed for the rest of the game. So depending on the game non-toxic player don't have that much to say.

As someone who's very depressed and doesn't really want to exist

If you're serious about that, you should seek help. There are people that study this "brainstuff" and might help you. Had a case of severe deprission in my close family and that shit really sucks. So don't think long, get help.

The best way to find a good community to game with is to search for a good gaming community, first. (Yes, they do exist.) Once you find them, play whatever games they play.

Socially awkward, I think you just described me in two words. I have a laptop, not even a desktop computer. I can't play most of the games I want or I must play them on low quality... LOW QUALITY?! But yeah, there are really good and kind people out there. We're just not that lucky to find them I think 😛