Let the toxic relationship run its course; the guy will eventually dump her. Tough to watch, but either she has to want to end it, or it has to be ended for her. Not much you can do otherwise.
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I don't know what advice to give, but it must be tough to watch someone you care about go through this.
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I thought the first rule of Relationships was: you do not talk about Relationships.
The second rule of Relationships is: you DO NOT talk about Relationships!
Third rule of Relationships: if someone yells “stop!”, goes limp, or taps out, the Relationship is over.
Fourth rule: only two people to a Relationship.
...or was I thinking of something else.
Wait, I was mistaken; the proper answer was Relationships can be transformed from one form to another, but cannot be created or destroyed.
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I've always been a fan of this quote. It is melancholy, but rings true.
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You don't need a man to make you happy, the only one who could do that is yourself - or at least that's what I always say to my friends. Does she have any other hobbies? I know it's not that easy to forget a guy, but if there's anything else that she likes (or you think she'll like) then show her that so she knows what it's like to truly be happy. Am I making sense? Also, don't let the guy end the relationship first. Her doing it herself might give her some closure (and improve her confidence).
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You shouldn't care this much, she is the only one who can definitely change her life, there is nothing that you could do or say to change her if she is that blind into that relationship...
Also, as our friend up here said "Life goes on. Time passes by. people change.", this sums up the situation very well, you have to keep going with your life, time will heal and make her forget about all this sh*t and as so, she will change and maybe you wont even be friends no more, but don't worry, that's how life work's, people come and go =)
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Yeah, like you said, a terrifying truth, but was I said people come and go, you will always meet new good friends and eventualy the old ones will follow their course, but don't be sad about it, because every new friend you made it's a new chapter to write on your book and that's how it work's =)
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People who are in abusive relationships often need help getting out, even if this relationship ended naturally, it could further feed the depression. However it's not sure that you are in the position to provide any help first hand. If you care, then consider offering your support should her need any, like someone else suggested, but trying to pry them apart forcefully is unlikely to succeed, may even have ill consequences on your relationship with her.
Maybe you could try getting her to contact a professional who could help with the depression, and that would in turn improve her general psychological situation, possibly leading to her slowly recognizing the toxicity of the relationship she's currently into.
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Sounds like your obsession with her is just that you want to rescue her. If she was normal you wouldn't think twice about her.
If you REALLY want to be with her, just tell her. Make it quick and to the point.
I've liked you for years, I think we should make a go of it.
If that doesn't work then definitely forget about her and move on. You've been emotionally unavailable for at least one year while you've been dreaming about her. Not fair to yourself or any other women you may have been talking to during that time.
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I think that the answers from random people probably won't be that helpful. Consult a good psychologist if you want a better understanding of what to do.
My thoughts on this is that the guy provides an anchor for her, shitty as that anchor might be. Being without a relationship and in her current state of flux won't necessarily be better for her well being. So if you know someone nice who likes her, replacing the current relationship with another one would be a good idea, but if not, it may be better to just leave her to her current one.
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I'm not an experienced person about this
But
I think most of the comments said "Don't interfere too much, let her decide"
While I agree with that
You and with others help should teach that guy some lessons
A bad guy like him could hurt others.. More and more
He'll become a cancer in society
Or if you're thinking it's too much work, just don't think too much.. I guess
I'm overthinking it xD
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You're not fooling anyone, just ask her out already.
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As someone who was the "depressed girl" in a relationship like the one mentioned: it will pass. Either the dude will find another gullible girl, who he prefers more; or the girl will see that it won't work out, on her own. The latter is easier if You have friends. Friends being around helps, but don't parrot always the same thing about the dude being a bastard, else You might alienate her.
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That's a wonderful term: "gullible", apparently the guy has modus operandi that goes the same with all the girls he approaches.
I'm really considering to stop worrying, one last supporting talk and nothing more. And the thing you say about parroting really is a double sword, it can make her think we are considering her a "stupid",
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Thanks to everyone answering!!
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