Coping with the loss of a pet...help?

I had a spent nearly an hour writing small novel, but deleted it because it wouldn't help you (and I was getting worked up re-living it). I'll just say it's not something you get over easily. My cat died this past summer, and I'm still not over it. Although she lived for 19 years, it probably was harder because of the way she died. She had cancer. I feel like a part of me was ripped out. Just like a physical injury, the pain dulls over time, so that's all you can do it just give it time.

And if anyone says "He is just a cat, get over it" or anything similar, I'll have a reason to create a blacklist.

I'm so sorry for Your loss. :( I can't really say anything more, what has already been said, try to remember the happy moments together, not this last, bad one. It will fade with time, if You don't dwell on it. <3

Sorry to hear that. I have a 4 year old ginger cat, so while I can't understand the idea of losing him, I can definitely understand the love you probably had for yours.

How horrible. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sometimes it can help to talk to people about the happy memories. Why don't you tell us about Kitty?

I feel for you. That sounds awful. Make sure you let yourself grieve and not bottle it up inside. Grief is a process that takes time.

We had to put down one of our dogs when I was 17 and I went into a major depression. He was only a year and a half but he had bad epileptic seizures and they were getting worse. It was a horrible decision to have to make. We got another dog after a few months and that helped pull me back.

When I was in pain like this (because of a breakup in my case) I always remembered myself the nice times I had with the girl, to torture myself, and get used to the fact it will never be the same. It might not sound like the best idea, but you'll get over it sooner or later

awww sorry for you loss, you'll get over it with time, it's normal for it to hurt. I've lost a parakeet a few weeks ago as well, it happens, there's not really anything you can do ^^

Sorry to hear that, but at least you still have good memories of him :)

I totally understand. My 15 year old cat passed away a little over a year ago and I still miss him lots. He was the only thing that stood by me in my best and worst times and he never complained, even when I put him in unfavorable living conditions while I was going through a bad time. Many will suggest that you get another cat. That works for some people. I haven't done it myself yet. That to me would be like getting another kid to try to fill in the gap left by the last one. Don't let anyone tell you that you are weird or that it's not OK to grieve. You sound like a good person to care so much about the life of another being. You will be fine and your furry friend is in a good place. Enjoy your memories.

I know what you feel, my dog, also 5 years old, has died in 2013. He was a lively pointer, not friendly to strangers however. Very teritorial and protective about the family. I had him since he was 4 weeks old. Nursed him myself, showed him the big world. One day he looked sick, I decided I'll call the vet next day, but it was too late. I asked the vet to perform an autopsy. It showed he was poisoned with a very potent rat poison, one you can't just buy in any shop, and which sale is regulated, because even a small amount can kill a grown man.

To this day I don't know who might have done that. My case wasn't isolated though, there's been reports of dogs being poisoned in my town over few months.

Just remember your pet, it was a part of your family :) Some people will say it's just an animal. But they are insensitive cunts.

I think an important thing to do is remind yourself that it wasn't your fault. Don't think about "what if" because it will only make you feel worse. We have very little control over what happens to us and those we care about in the face of random circumstances. If it hadn't been that day, it could have been any other day under any number of circumstances. That's just the way it works. Instead, reflect on the good times that you did have with Kitty. You gave him a home and took care of him and loved him and he knew it.

Never had a pet myself (not one that was soft anyway), but from what I heard, these kind of experiences help you get a better understanding of death

Sorry for your loss, i know how you are feeling, because i lose 2 pets in somehow similar situations and is not easy. You only need time. Try not to be hard on yourself about his death, try to think in a positive way, he at least will be happy knowing you loved him to the bitter end while you tried to put it out of the pipe... Life is never fair, specially with our loved ones...
So, here is a hug for you

View attached image.

I say just forget about the cat. Not in a bad way since when I go I personally want everyone I know and love to forget about me and be happy and the way you talk about the cat sounds like you were a nice caring owner and I'm sure your cat wouldn't want you to dwell on sadness of what happened and instead be happy.

And sorry for your loss.

best way to cope. is to go out and get a new pet ASAP

There's no tips, loved ones and hated ones die, and so will we,

the only thing i can say is that time helps to heal up to a point because life continues and hopefully there's still living beings that you love and that love you.

On the other hand the way in which loved ones go can haunt you for a while and possibly never really go ( seen some hardcore shit with walls full of blood and a floor that was a swimming pool of blood, although i was decades ago i still happen to have nightmares or to have a thing against red carpets or the squishy sounds of a wet carpet, there was a mouse running in the blood and i still think about that mouse sometimes how it must have felt )

The pain of the loss eases with time, the way of the loss is something you just have to deal with.

Sorry for your loss, watch over the other pets and loved ones, they might feel the loss as well, make sure everyone is here for everyone.

Sorry for your loss mate. Sending a virtual hug your way.

Stay strong.

I want to thank any of the people that replied, or are going to reply in the future. I know it may seem like a lot of the same things are being said, but it is definitely making me feel better.

Oh my god, you fucking gave up on your own cat D: !? What the fuck.... well... whats done is done.... all you can do now is.. just.. live with it, crying helps for sure, i know, its okay to cry and to feel bad for leaving him there, atleast you found him, much times pet owners may not find their pets... but now... well... just... live... in regret i guess.... time will heal your insides, cartoons, music, games, movies might help to easen the pain, watch MLP FIM or Generator Rex or Batman The Brave and The Bold, watch some emotional or comedical movies like The Hangover series or Jungle Storm or something, listen to Arcanum of Steamworks and Magic Obscura game soundtracks video of 52 minutes, their very soothing and etc.... anyway, my condolonces, very sorry to hear this tragedy... if you think thats bad, my grandmother let our own cat die of a stomach tumor, he died in grave pain and we didnt put him to sleep before that... you be the judge if me and my grandmother are worse than your case

There are things in life we can't do nothing about it.
Well the only thing I can think of to ease the pain is maybe he did not suffer that much because if his body became very cold then I think he was falling asleep because his blood pressure slowed down. I have my own cat but I'm taking care of many stray cats too and last summer at 3 of them given birth to baby cats. All the little cats became infected with cat flu so all of them died except one. So I had to bury many kitties last year. In january my dog Toto died too, he was 16 and he had very big pain, even the medications did not help. He was barking and whining in pain and there was nothig to do about it. We was just about to take him to the vet one more time but he died . It was awful to see such a beautiful creature die in suffer and pain. It isn't the way he should have died but we did everything we can.
You sound like you blame yourself a bit. Sometimes you just can't do nothing about these things. You have to live with it, you have to understand that you are not a superhero and can't help all the animals in the world. It's hard to understand for me too because I'm a big animal fanatic and I help/rescue them often, but there are limits.
Obviously, losing a beloved pet (aka family member) is always a pain but time will (almost) heal it. Not sure if there are afterlife or reincarnation but whatever it is I'm sure he will always love you and he is happy now wherever he is. These things are happening for a reason, maybe he just had to go. I'm sure he would like to see you happy with the 2 other cats, so try not to fall deep in your sorrow. I know it's hard but you have to do it.
Keep his memory, think about him often, but move on. You don't have other choice.

My condolences, mate. I understand exactly what you mean, that the hardest thing is the way a pet dies, if it is by suffering due to an accident, illness or just a stupid incident.
I lost my 11 year old dog 18 months ago. She was sick for some time, she had cancer and a pulmonary edema, and I knew she wouldn't make it long anymore. I could cope with her going to die, I prepared myself mentally. But when it came to actually seeing her suffer during every breath was the hardest part. When she finally passed away (put down), I just tried to speak with people about pets. Not dying pets, not dead pets, just about pets. It came to stories that every pet owner has, and the thing is that you thought about the good moments, shared funny stories and it made you feel a little bit better. Of course the grief was inevitable. I cried the first night for a straight hour. But the memories, especially the good ones I talked about, stuck with me. They helped to get over the grief.

My cat died almost 2 years ago, he was 20, so I had his company for most of my life.
No real suggestions I'm afraid, I just hope I can get another cat (possibily two) soon or later.
Also, I got a tatoo of his footprint an year later.

A few photos:
when we were young: https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/1233_37565539410_9665_n.jpg?oh=4c8a564c2becdcff597960dc39b905ef&oe=55806DD9&__gda__=1434217174_caf3eeea652aec5fcbf920940690b021
a few years ago: https://scontent-mxp.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/1909467_47278584086_8580_n.jpg?oh=631b3cbf428004b2708fe1fefc0df463&oe=55785A1C
my tattoo: https://scontent-mxp.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/q81/s720x720/10151213_10152355880099411_4957408279210697932_n.jpg?oh=b1c01161d83e6435f9dc29d1142f47d2&oe=55839CB3

condolences, I know the feeling my cat was mauled by a dog not too long ago. It was my dad's fault so I was feeling very angry as well as sad. The sadness faded away slowly after a week or so. Also I don't try to think about it too much, but if you start remembering your cat don't force yourself not too , try thinking about the fun times you had with your cat that's better than repressing it but don't try to think too much about it you'll only hurt yourself with that. That helped me deal with it at least, so I hope it also helps you.

There really isn't all that much you can do. It hurts no matter how you lose your pet. Some people cope by getting another pet within a few months. I coped by hugging plush dolls.

Try not to beat yourself up over this. There is no way you could had known where he was. You found him, you tried to help him. You can take some solace in that.

Ouch, that death is horrible... Exactly a year and a half ago I lost a puppy. Well, not really a puppy.. She had just turned one. And she wasn't officially MY puppy. But I was babysitting her for 7 months. Anyway, When the original family came back to the country, I went to their house to spend a week with them. Long story short, within that week, the puppy was let outside but we didn't notice that the fence was oppen.. She got hit by a car. She most likely died on the spot by the ammount of blood. It's a horrible memory, and even today I think about it almost every single week.

Anyway, for dealing with the Kitty's death? I'd reccomend talking to your family about him. But ONLY nice things. Like great thoughts. Things that make you laugh. I know it's hard (I was there :P ) but It'll help. And trust me, talking happy thoughts really helps. And don't be shy to cry. Death is not a "silly" thing.

Off the record, two days ago I got a puppy and her name is Lily :D