How do I get the joy of playing games back?

As Steven already said above: Volunteer work.
Of course you have to be up for it and there have to be opportunities around you to do something. Help the young or old along using PCs and the internet - estalish and manage an e-sport team at your local highschool. Work with refugees to make them feel welcome. ...

Alcohol or work. The latter is the more healthy one!

Maybe you should spend a while consciously choosing games which aren't about enjoying the game, so much as experiencing it; "The Beginner's Guide" springs to mind, those kind of indie games that really want to make you think can be extremely heavy but also cathartic experiences if you're feeling depressed. A pacifist run of Undertale can also be quite a self-reflective experience, if you go into it with the right mindset.

Not sure what to say, but I'm sorry for you.

It might be best to find some new friends, or strengthen the relationship with existing ones. It might be the loneliness that gets you more than anything. Good thing the SG forum is here, but real life people will likely be even better.

Games aren't satisfying right now because games aren't what you want. Get out and engage with the world. Work on that bucket list. You'll come back to gaming when it suits you. The pixels will always be there.

Consider a basic evaluation for depression, and follow through if it has you. Real help is out there, and it's better than internet advice.

Stay strong, and besides gym (i went for pokewalks instead) get some pizza, that's always help

The fun of playing game will return eventually. Just keep yourself busy with other activities until then. Your relationship problem is obviously overwhelming everything else for you atm and until you can shake that off at least to a certain degree you probably will struggle to enjoy games. A big part of gaming is the ability to sink in a different reality/story/character and you probably can't to that right now since your relationship issue is keeping your brain busy.

Go out, meet other people, listen to music that makes you happy, watch movies/tv series, read a good book, enjoy nature or do whatever else you want, gaming will return to your life sooner or later. :)

I'm in the same boat, 99% of games now are shit.
They may have always been shit and I'm just seeing it now though.
I do still enjoy space 4x games, however I'm frustrated that AI hasn't really improved since Alpha Centauri..

I loved Witcher 3 and the next big game I'm looking forward to is Mass Effect Andromeda.
I'll probably download sniper 4 unless it goes on a massive sale >.>

I hope you'll feel better soon. <3

I dont think you will feel better by playing games. Just like the others said, get a new hobby and stay busy. Give yourself time to heal. It can take a long time but i think once you feel better you will start to enjoy games again :) Its hard but you can get through it!

WORKOUT
Find new sport to play^^

Maybe it had to happen, if you both hadn't made further projects together.
Maybe you had, no idea.
But distance doesn't help.

You will need a time for recovering from your loss. Maybe reorder your rooms and habits, just suggestions.

I am currently having a lot of fun with Darkest Dungeon. A very polished rogue-like game that might help you relativize your losses !
Your heroes will get plenty of illness and you will loose plenty of heroes, there ^^

I generally don't like too much the genre, this one is a very nice exception :-)

I saw you don't own it yet, give it a try ;-)

That sounds awful, really sorry to hear :( I went through something difficult a year ago and it still hurts to think about but like a few people have mentioned, it gets better with time. I think it helps to make your own choices and if you're not feeling games at the moment then don't force yourself to do something you're not enjoying. I hope you feel better soon :)

Edit: I went through a phase of watching childish animation films from Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks... I know it sounds like torture but they worked miracles on me, so that's hopefully a more useful suggestion!

:( Sorry to hear about your calamities <3

I'm sure other people here can provide better advice as you're unlikely to be in the same position as me (then again it seems most suggestions here are largely useless like "get another hobby" or "stop gaming"). If I knew a good solution, I would have already gone for it. Do a lot of other worthwhile stuff as well, don't worry too much about not enjoying games. For me when this bothers me (every day), the whole issue of gaming becomes so stressful that it only makes things much worse. The more casual and chill I can be about the matter, the easier it is to start a game. How to achieve that exactly, I don't really know. It seems to be completely random :s Anyway, don't take gaming too seriously, take breaks from attempting to game during which you do useful things like clean and exercise, and do whatever you can to reduce stress like relaxing, bath, jacuzzi, music..you know, whatever works for you :)

Ps. Also don't get a new girlfriend who likes to watch as you play most games. That really won't help with the stress.

First - I'm sorry to hear that. It's never easy after spending so much time with someone. :/

From what you said, it sounds like you spent so much time with this woman that you lost a bit of your own identity in your relationship with her. I went through something similar about a year and a half ago, and realized that most of my time and activities revolved around my relationship with her.

What I found after we split is that it was the perfect time to "rebuild" the part of me that she had occupied. I had a bunch of extra time on my hands -- time that I would have otherwise spent with her -- so I picked up other hobbies and extra work to fill that time. After a while, I realized how much of myself I had been "missing", and how much more I could accomplish on my own, and how much more complete I felt, and therefore had more to offer the next woman I dated.

TLDR: This is the perfect time to do the things you've wanted to do, but never had time for, or couldn't do because of other obligations. A perfect time to make new friends, try new things, pick up the violin (or whatever), read the books you've been skipping, take that fishing trip, go out to clubs with a friend, or anything ... to fill the time and (re)build upon yourself to better yourself as a person.

It hurts, but it always heals.

Oh man, sorry to hear.

I've never been in a relationship that lastet that long, so I have no idea what it feels like to lose a life partner. The last time when things didn't work out for me like I had hoped they would and the relationship broke up I cried. I cried a lot. Instead of distracting myself I went right into the pain, felt it, cried it out heavily over the course of several months, and that was quite the cathartic experience. My viewpoint on a lot of what had happened during the times we spent together, and also the feelings lying underneath, all my personal hopes and expectations I am having towards a relationship with another person, kind of changed in the process.

This clearly isn't for everyone, I get it most people rather avoid dealing with unpleasant feelings, but I feel it did me much better than the few times before when I distracted myself and just went on with life.

hug

I'm really sorry to what happened.

I've never had anything like this happen to me, but when bad things happen, I generally find that the best thing to do is find an outlet for all those negative emotions. Don't sit indoors and dwell on them, that will make you feel worse, and you risk just spiraling down into a depression that will be hard to get out of. Do "something", be it find a friend who's shoulder you can cry on, or go play paintball, just anything that lets you vent. And then figure out where you want to take your life next, find a goal, something to strive for. Games are great, but they can so easily become a way to hide from real life problems.

Hi tso, I think it's logical you feel that way at the moment. The joy of playing games will come back with time.
Take a break if you feel that way and, don't know, take a moment to think in something to do, maybe something new, that would bring joy and help you clear your mind for a moment at least.
Thats my humble advice, best wishes!

Wow after 15yrs: I met another guy... what a dick move...don´t take such crap to your heart. For me listening to music, go for a walk, go fishing, do sports is a good way to clear my mind. I guess everybody has his own way to handle such things.
Take your time to get over it, and find something new to fill your "emptiness".
best wishes o/

These wounds go deep and only heal with time. Just keep going forward the best you can and you will slowly fill that emptiness, the important thing is to not be stuck, remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Try new stuff, music, TV/movies, hobbies, etc. Boardgaming could be a nice option if you can get a group to play with even if they are strangers.

In the end it is a shitty situation and sadly there is no simple solution, best wishes!

15 years.... I'm sorry to hear about that. Like many others have said physically doing stuff outside and talking with people would be the best bet at this point, coming from experience. During a time like this losing yourself in video games or TV actually could do more to elongate this low point. Playing games should be as a hobby to have fun and relax, if you do it as a 'fix' or escape you will find little to no joy in it.. Know that's not really what one would want to hear but it is the truth. I pray you get through this low point, hang in there.

I was in a similar position and well. As I had actually nothing better to do I just launched games and played them even when I didn't feel like because I had to get distracted. Sometimes I didn't play for more than an hour but bit by bit I started to enjoy the games. You can try with your favourite or new ones until you actually enjoy them. If not you can do something else in the middle, like watching movies, start a new TV series, idk. Hope you'll enjoy them again soon!

I've been trought something similar, not because of the same reason, obviously, and my situation kinda involved no wanting to do anything, not only not playing games, but still. Ironically, playing a game was what helped me. The game was VA-11 HALL-A, it spoke to me, the dialogue and how the characters solve their problems helped me a lot, it made me realize things and revive.

I can't guarantee that to work, of course, so I'll offer you another advice on top of the very good ones on this thread: Play with friends. they can help. For the rest, and as others have mention, time heals.

I wish you the best and I hope you recover. Enjoying games is a pleasure no one should lost.