How do I get the joy of playing games back?

Since everyone seems to be tiptoeing around the elephant in the room, I'm going to come right out and say it. You might want to talk to a professional about depression.

• scrolling through replies and stealing advice *

I'm in a similar situation, just that it's not 15 years, it's just 4. We broke up(she left) 1.5 months ago.
I'm still hoping deep inside that she'll change her mind and everything will go back to how it was.. even thou I know that it's not going to happen. Probably even if it would happen I wouldn't be able to get over it and be as before.

Anyway, enough of that, time for the advice.
What helps me, is doing things that I liked but didn't get to do so much during the relationship:

• I went skiing 5 times since that happened, while usually I go just once a year.
• started going out with old friends a little more than before.

Everything is OK as long as I don't think too much about the past.. so I guess that we have to fill the time with things we like and do not think about it.. at least for a while.

Best wishes!

Get involved in military weaponry and history until you are dreaming the Battle of the Bulge or the Tet Offensive in your sleep.

Or learning to play a musical instrument helps too.

there are not easy replies in here, everyone needs sth different. What I strongly recommend is do sth! try everything you can and you will find something which will catch your attention and happiness from games and other things wil com again.
Just don't sit and think, thinking is your worst enemy here

Try crying a good lot. It help drains all the emotions out so you're left with nothing but empty playground space for imagination, and for companies too !

It's a tough situation, and it will pass eventually. Just try your best to not think constantly in isolation, because I know from experience that it can only make you feel worse. If you're not feeling up to playing games now, maybe you can try have fun in a different way. Talk to a friend, or family member, listen to or play music etc. There's also more creative options like some new hobby you might have not even realised you had.

I really do think the most important thing is to just not get lost in your own thoughts. Having company will probably help you not feel so alone. Call a friend of yours and have a chat about random stuff. Maybe focusing on a multiplayer game will help. Either playing it with a friend, or meeting new people in voice chat. I know I've met a lot of fun people in the last year from one game alone, and now we play stuff everyday!

Good luck with it all. Just keep in mind that it'll get better eventually :)

If the question is aimed that you want to still play games but can't be bothered, it will come back someday. I had exactly same scenario and then I launched game that really blasted me away and I've had fun with games again. Seems like it's dying again tho, but I still believe I'll launch something great really soon.

You've already recieved a lot of good advices, so here's a pic to cheer you up!

View attached image.

Time, I think.
Going out, whether it's fresh air alone, or being around people that care.
I'm not great at handling my sadness.
Games don't really cheer me up, I have to be in a good mood to enjoy them - it will come back.

First of all let me say how sorry I am for your loss, I now that it must hurt a lot. Secondly even though it doesn't feel like this at all, your ex-girlfriend actually did you a favor by distancing herself since it gives you the time to properly process your feelings, staying in touch with her would only have caused you more pain (I don't expect you to understand this right now, but maybe in a few months or so you'll realize it was for the best), which doesn't mean you can't become friends again after some time. Thirdly I think it's good to feel bad for a little while, since you did lose something of importance and it's important to accept that. Lastly I know most words won't mean much, but it will eventually get better with time and your enjoyment of gaming will return. This is the only thing that makes me feel any better in a small way whenever I hear it.

Damn...
I know this might not sound like much but... it's better to have loved and lost.
I, for example have never experienced the idea of a relationship and I personally would rather be able to experience that.
As to gaming, simple answer, quit it. For now, at least. Do other stuff, come back in a week. If that's not enough, a month. I'm sorry for your predicament and I must say, I do not envy you at all. Good luck and stay positive. :)

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I don't think there's any advice I can give but now that I'm reading your edit, I'm happy to see that you're finding ideas and reflecting your thoughts in a good way. And as you say: don't worry if it takes time to recover, how long it takes always depends on the person and the situation. The common thing is that we will all bounce back at some point. Hopefully you'll find a peace of mind soon.

My condolences on your loss. Break ups are never easy, particularly for relationships that have gone on for as long as yours, and they really can be as emotionally draining as the sudden death of a loved one if they come without warning. You may want to look into resources to help you cope with some of the feelings you are having, and loss of interest in things you have previously enjoyed doing is certainly a common symptom of loss and depression.

Being introspective and dealing with your sense of loss will probably lead you to one day rekindle your interest in gaming (and maybe in your other hobbies as well). This, at least, was true in my case, as I had gone through a very low period in my life in which I completely lost the spark and joy that I used to have in any of my previous hobbies or interests. It was a slow process, but in going through a lot of self-reflection I have emerged from my lowest point seeking to learn from and better myself from my past experiences instead of dwelling and wallowing in them.

I think everyone's experience and path to recover from a sense of loss will be different. You should just keep looking and trying to move forward, finding something that resonates with you and your situation. In my own case, TED talks were one easy and free source of inspiration that often helped get the ball rolling and my mind in the right space to move forward. You could give this talk on break-ups a watch and see if helps. It's never a quick and painless process, but try to think about all the things you still have going for you and when you are ready for it remember: you never know when an amazing new relationship, whether platonic, romantic, or both, will come along.

Hi tso184, sorry to hear about your troubles :(

I have always had trouble finding an activity that is both physically and mentally relaxing, most things seem to be one or the other. I like to find something that is immersive or require enough focus that everything else clears out of your head. There is a sweet spot somewhere, and it is probably different for many people. If you can find yours, I hope this will help you get to a better place. Good luck!

Dang, General... this is kind of a close spot for me, feeling a loss at least, since I go through this feeling you describe with games not being as fulfilling with my own health issues. It is not another, but a lament for my own healthy self vs. what I have become, and not quite ever coming to true terms with it. It's very hard to when it feels so surreal and you have experienced the healthy side of life. I feel kinda cruddy many days, and it kills my drive to play games, or I am just in too rough of physical shape to even sit for long and take games in. I have to be in just the right spot where I can play a while and not feel too bad. I am not sure if by empty you mean that you are really getting a kind of depression-like feeling, and nothing at all feels fun or enjoyable for you? I think trying something different and revamping everything could be a good idea. I don't know exactly what you'd want to do to trade out, but a break from a lot of things computer-related could help. You could at least give it a small try and see what happens... I am sure you will have time you would have spent together to find something else to sort of explore with some of that time hopefully, if video games are not helping at all.

The thoughts of your old relationship and whatnot, that's not something I am good at giving advice for. I consider myself lucky to be in one right now for a few years, but yeah, I can't give a lot of advice there since I have only been in a few that lasted any significant amount of time. I would try to find out what the deal is with myself, and work that out, get through my personal feelings with the new changes, and find what I am all about once again, sort of rediscover myself since life is different, and really in a big way. Hopefully that comes out right, and makes sense. I am sure with all that time invested, there might be plenty of feelings of sadness and loss, so I only know that personally when I have these feelings, letting them be what they are, and not stifling them, or fighting them, is usually best. I personally would not want to ignore them, or pretend they are not there, but allow them to be, and maybe find ways they can empower you to become an even better person. Everyone is different though. Maybe you will get some really good advice from others with more experience in that area though. I'm hoping you find some great suggestions from others that can help you plenty, or give you a little bit of an idea what might be nice to try, since you are asking around.

For being upset in general, and just because they are really good for you, regardless, I think exercise can be a great booster, if that's something you might be slightly interested in. The endorphines can be a great mood lifter. Meditation has also helped me with my own anxiety stuff, but it is kind of limited, and can be time-consuming if it becomes a big hobby. I guess that's true with anything though. That is about the best I could offer, since those two alone can do wonders for almost anyone when they are practiced here and there, and then more regularly... Your life must really be changing up a bit if you were with someone else for 15 years though. That is a real considerable amount of time in anyone's life, no matter how young or old they might be. I see a suggestion about music, and that helped me as well. I learned to play bass guitar a long time ago. Music is uplifting too for me personally.

Switch hobbies for a bit, you'll eventually get the urge again, or just play the newest shiniest open world game you can. Those tend to get me going.

Still trying to win The Witcher 3: GOTY.

Honestly, I'm not sure what advice to give. I myself encountered a bad ending to a 5 year relationship which messed me up, so I can't imagine 15 years. However for me, music and gaming became my refuge since my breakup turned into a domino effect with a lot of stuff in life, leaving me with almost nothing. Mostly I just strive to be the best person I can, and keep working towards better days. I'll never let what happened go, and it changed me in a lot of ways, but now I have new goals, new dreams, and I will continue to fight so one day I can achieve them. That's maybe all I can suggest you do as well. Think of other things you want, set some goals, work towards them, and don't lose hope.

Constructive activity - like cooking, that has a positive (and delicious) outcome, usually works for me when I'm suffering from depression. But then I have garden variety depression and it sounds like what you have is sadness - two similar but different things. Ultimately the only cure is time but you knew that already.... Seriously tso, I am truly sorry and am sending you some huge {{Momo hugs}}....

It’s terrifying to think that after spending decades of life with a partner, something like this can happen.
In fact, it can even be after the better part of a lifetime. A friend of mine’s grandparents recently divorced after having been married for over 50 years. Seriously.
If I were hurt like you were, but my partner sincerely regretted what they had done, then I would hope that I’d have it in me to forgive them. People make mistakes, and everyone deserves a second chance. That’s what I believe anyway.

Honestly, I don't think the issues you encountered correlate with the lack of interest in games. In my opinion, maybe I am a few years older than you, but games aren't what they used to be. There hasn't be any like MUST HAVE games. That may have been something you used in the past to meditate from life's happening and now you don't because you haven't found anything that captures your attention. Or, I could be completely wrong about everything, but I'd say try a few different genre's and search through games to find something your new interest will be piqued with. Part of growing up is that our tastes change as well. Anyways, I could be completely wrong, but I hope everything works out.

I just want to say thanks for posting this topic (and to the many helpful replies). My own situation is that I can get in a rut on a fairly regular basis that can last for months. This can remove the desire for everything (including gaming) but always I come out the other side when I find the sun rises each day, and gradually interest in other things begins to return. For me, that's how it works for the past 20 years or so. Life is full of changes - embrace that opportunity.

Well I go through the same thing where I have troubles even wanting to do things like playing games sometimes. It was also after some problems with a girl I (thought, I guess,) loved, I still care about her a ton now, even after she tried to file a restraining order against me, but I don't know if it was love, and we never dated or anything, so it was probably just my mental issues, but still...
Anyways, it's been years since then and even though I'm not back to how I was, I'm at least able to enjoy things more often now, I guess. I'm sure there were better ways to handle it, but I couldn't find any motivation to do anything, but I seem to remember talking a lot out here and I don't think I was the best at taking all their advice, but at the very least I was able to hold on through lots of suicidal thoughts and stuff with the encouragement they shared.

I'm sure I'm not really a great example to look at, though, since now I have a hard time finding interest in real people (actually I guess I had that problem before, though not as bad until I lost the one girl I've ever felt so comfortable and happy with, but I've still never dated so yeah...) and now I'm just super obsessed with cute anime girls and stuff...

Lots of times when I don't feel like doing anything, I'll start a game up or something and then I often get more into it as I play a bit. Again, I know I'm not a "normal" person (if anyone can be), since I still have not found any motivation to do anything productive or get a job or anything (I still get emails from the college I was accepted into reminding me to register for classes and stuff, but I don't have money or motivation for that... :P). I have, however, had times where I'm more motivated than usual and either work on teaching myself Japanese or play around with various game development tools (arguably those things could be considered productive I guess).

Well I keep losing track of what I'm trying to say, but I think it was that I guess just holding on until you can find stuff that you're motivated to do is the very least you can do, I'm sure there's lots better advice already here, though, lol. :P

First I send you a big hug.

Second, it's Ok to be sad. These are sad times, explore sadness, and cry. It's the sane thing to do. Do other things, keep yourself occupied, but don't run away. Your emotions are there, and it's Ok to express them.

Third. Time. You will need time to overcome this. There are no reasons to rush things, or to try to forget, or other horrible advices people gives. I know, it's sad to see a friend or a relative suffer, and that's why people says those things. But you'll need time to heal.

At last. Keep your loved ones close, and love them a lot.

The time to enjoy things again will return, I can assure this.