Happy Purrrth, cheshirecatgirl! Sorry to hear about your husband. Hope you both get better. :)
Comment has been collapsed.
didn't want to make a seperate post but wanted to share this and seemed the best place to use it as a bump.
cat kaiju! (beware of dubstep): https://youtu.be/iWVb5K3AGI8
Comment has been collapsed.
How was your purrth-day, CC? I hope you and hubby are feeling better?
Comment has been collapsed.
I am feeling slightly better, thanks Genki! :-)
Husband is a different story, see my response to Jeff.
All things considering I had a nice Birthday, bought myself Ori and the blind Forest, got a few wishlisted games from lovely and special people here, got a running watch from my Mum and am now spending a few days with her.
Comment has been collapsed.
Very nice train... hope your cold goes away soon...
Hang in there taking care of your sick husband... that has to be tough especially when you're sick with the cold yourself.
I'm guessing your husband must be chronically sick ... you have a beautiful heart.
Wish you the best...
Comment has been collapsed.
Thanks Jeff, for your kind message.
Yes DH is chronically ill, he has severe pain issues (in his opinion (re) kindled by the use of anti-depressants, after quitting the anti-depressants the pain never left and he blames his psychiatrist big time, saying he destroyed 2 lives. Well...that psychiatris didn't ruin my life). and severe problems with eating (it is painful and swallowing is torture) and his breathing is impaired due to chronic hyperventialtion (maybe as a response to the pain)
No explanation has been found for his complaints.
Another big problem is that he is taking it out (verbally) on his surroundings: and that's me.
He's angry, depressed, scared and heart broken.
What's worst is that he is also taking the most out of his complaints instead of taking the most out of life.
The last 3 years have been incredibly hard.
He will be admitted to a center specialised in psycho somatic disorders at the end of November.
Hopefully they can help him to learn and deal/cope with his complaints, so that he can get some quality of life back.
Sometimes I think (or am sure) that he's beyond help, he doesn't deserve this but neither am I.
He is a human being, so I hope they can help him.
But at times I am not even sure I want him to recover
Nothing is ever his fault and he always has something/somebody to hide behind, I don't know if he can change that.
For now he is using his complaints as his shield AND his sword, he is living and breathing his complaints.
I just hope this specialised center can help him, because otherwise there's nothing left for him but euthanasia (as he thinks himself) and sometimes I even think this would be the best option for both of us
My future is insecure, he is no longer the man I fell in love with.
I've been hurt and damaged badly by his behaviour and how he deals with his complaints, not something I will easily forget.
So even if he does recover (some or whole) I am not sure we have a future together.
It's a disgrace how long you have to wait nowadyas for specialised help, because all this time we have been drowning basically.
We had hoped they would admit him for 6 months, but they have chosen (but maybe it is an insurance thing and they are not saying that) to just admit him for 8 weeks! And he will still be home during weekends.
I hope they can help him, but I fear this will be another dissapointment. Many patients at first detoriate, as a response to the stress such an admittance brings with. Knowing my husband that will also be the case with him.
If that happens, he first has to overcome this initial detoriation and how much time is left then for treatment and improvement?
We will have to see and find out.
So yes, life has (and is) been hard on me for 3 years now.
And this is just the story in a very tiny nutshell with most of the ugliness left out.
Just a few kind words from time to time mean the world to me nowadays, so thank you for yours, Jeff and take care yourself!
Comment has been collapsed.
...what you say both breaks my heart and makes it swell...
as jeff said, simply: you're radiant, having remained with him for as long as you have.
even typing this little bit, i lament the words because they don't do justice.
you are a human being as well, no one can fault you for doubting.
for what it's worth, i'm praying for y'all. all that can be done is to try.
brow is furrowed to the point of pain - stomach is knots - chest heavy
i am so sorry that he hurts (you) so much, that he is unable to cope, that you are the one to bear it all.
i have chronic pain that requires medication - nowhere near his level, but i know how frustrating it can be when they're unable to find a reason for it, when it's unknown what to do. i'm just shaking my head with sorrow and in awe.
with all sincerity (throughout all this message): you're my hero and i profusely apologize that i can't properly convey; absolute admiration(/adoration) i any sensible person who reads this feels for you, nothing but sadness and hope to DH.
please stay strong - indeed, your amazing strength has been well-demonstrated, never falter - get help if/when you need it.
this world is too fucked to lose someone as patient and lovely as you; get well DH, before you lose such a better half.
this is the second time i've typed a significant message and had it disappear upon submitting; i beg your pardon again if i speak (further) out of turn, having had to rush to get it all down again; i don't mean to try and deify you, i doubt that'd be appealing or appropriate, i just am so cynical that to see such love (regardless if it's justifiably (potentially, i hope with all my heart it can be salvaged though) waning), i felt i had to say something, even though i'm the last person that should
EDIT: (i knew i forgot something) just wanted to agree that the healthcare system is absolutely despicable because it isn't a system focused on care so much as on payment and red tape. hopefully i got most of the rest of it, still...
Comment has been collapsed.
I always try to stay positive, but I think it is no wonder that the situation I am in is draining me.
But.....out of bad always something good comes also!
I know now that behind closed doors there can be a lot going on in people's life, so I am even more careful in judging people now.
I've met some great people here, but there is also a lot of drama on this site and people are so easy to judge!
To all: please don't!
There is so much more in life.
If we all tried to take better care of each other and ourselves, we could make the world a better place.
I like to see the good in every person first, my glass is (despite all hardship) always half full.
I don't know what the future holds for me.
Maybe my husband recovers and we can salvage our relationship
Maybe he recovers and we can't salvage our relationship then it is time to leave
Maybe he won't recover and will go the euthanasia route in the end.
I just know now is not the right time to make decissions, leaving now would break him beyond repair and despite everything he doesn't deserve that.
I am getting help from a psycologist.
For every door that closes a new one opens, so most of the time I am confident the future (maybe just not the very near one) will get brighter again!
Thanks for you words, i know words can be so inadequate from time to time, but it is the meaning behind those words that is the most important! So thank you for yours and I am sorry you have to deal with chronic pain also! xD
Comment has been collapsed.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I asked because I'm a chronic sufferer myself... I was told by many doctors that my condition was all in my head for 10 months... I wasn't diagnosed until I studied up on my symptoms and sought out a motion disorder specialist as I suspected parkinsons... I was right... that was 10 years ago..,
I've steadily gotten worse and between daily intense pain and finding it more and more difficult to move... it's taking a toil on me and my wife.
Complaining is foreign to me... my Dad never complained or said anything negative about anyone. I take after him and life is so much better as a result.
I would like to reach out to your husband and be an encouraging online friend if you think he'd be up for it...
Comment has been collapsed.
Thanks Jeff, I already knew of your condition, we met during the big pyramid event; but I guess that's also why I opened up to you.
When you are healthy it is hard to understand how much of an impact chronical illness has on your own life and on your relationship.
Your disease is not an easy one either and I am sorry to hear that it is also taking a toll on you and your wife.
I am like you, I never complain either, I try to solve things internally first. And I try to cope on my own, which probalby isn't good either, so I still have a thing or two to learn myself too. That's okay, we are never too old for that and hopefully the psycologist can help me with that.
My husband is the complete opposite, he vents everything, loud and clear and without even thinking first, so everything comes out unfiltered in all its ugliness. It's like getting a constant look into his subconscious and it is a dark and scary place there.
Venting is good, but not if you don't take into account what it does with your spouse, not if it isn't helpful at all and if it only serves to intensify your fears and complaints by constantly focusing on it. And venting isn't good either if and when it replaces your internal problem solving mode entirely.
I hope there are still meds that can help you, Jeff, to deal with the pain and to take the most out of life.
I still believe that life can be beautiful even when being sick (I have my own health issues), but you need to be able to make adjustments.
And when you reach the point where in all fairness life has become too great a burden, I just hope we can look back and say: it was still worth it!
I thank you for your offer to be an online friend for my husband. At this moment he lives totally in his own world of suffering and I don't think anybody can really reach him now. Maybe in a later stage, after some treatment, when he opens up again for his surroundings and other people.
But still, I am not sure if it is a wise idea for you, however kind the gesture.
My husband likes and needs the center of attention, a conversation with him can drain you completely and you don't deserve that!
He will start compairing complaints and his will alwyas be more imparing/debilitating.
But again: maybe in a later stage! It would be good for him to hear from someone else what chronic illness does to a relationship and what his own role could/should be there.
I think the first lesson my husband has to learn is the start living again instead of living his complaints.
I can only hope he has been diagnosed correctly and that they haven't missed anything, because DH still thinks it is pure physical instead of it being psycho somatic.
When/if we reach the point/time that I can have a normal conversation again with DH, I will relay your kind request, Jeff.
Cause with all his suffering, he is a scared and lonely person at the moment, breaking that circle would mean the world.
Take good care of yourself and your wife, Jeff!
Comment has been collapsed.
I don't mind a relationship where the other person is the center of attention. That simply means that they are struggling with low self esteem and I enjoy listening to them, commending them on their accomplishments, and providing positive affirmation which they desperately need to hear to start the healing process.
But for sure, Im here either way-- for you too to listen and care-- you truly are golden!
Comment has been collapsed.
Thanks Jeff, you have a kind heart and soul yourself, you are golden too!
Comment has been collapsed.
I'm so sorry to hear about all the stressful and bad things that are going on in your life. It must have required an immense amount of strength on your part to get through those 3 years.
Having doubts is only natural when things gets that rough. You should absolutely not feel bad about it, I'm sure everyone who goes through similar ordeals starts having doubts.
Stay strong, and take good care of yourself. And don't feel bad about treating yourself to something nice every once in a while, you deserve it.
Comment has been collapsed.
I think this could use an extra bump, and some more cake
Comment has been collapsed.
happy purrrrrrday!
Is this you? :D
Comment has been collapsed.
No way! LOL
I am slightly mad and I love Wonderland and the Cheshire Cat, but there is no way I am going to wear that! :p
Comment has been collapsed.
Een beetje laat maar alsnog een gelukkige verjaardag :)
Comment has been collapsed.
Beter laat dan nooit zeggen ze dan!
Dank je wel! xD
Comment has been collapsed.
Today is my Birth Day or Purrrrth Day and I have some cake and a small train for all you lovely people.
Nothing too fancy, I am not rich, but even bundles have some good games from time to time, so you might find something you like.
I have purged my entire blacklist for the occassion, so it is pretty much open for everybody, just a level 1 requirement.
I still don't like leechers, but hey maybe they have a good reason or are just not rich, who am I to judge!?
So please just mark your win as received and a thank you for a win makes sense to me!
But there is a tiny...erhhmmmm...hick up because of the low requirements and not sgtools protection we seem to have a bit of a rat problem on the train! o.O
So bring the cats and hunt them down!
My life is still a mess with a very ill husband, I am having a cold atm, so I feel kind of miserable but maybe I can put a smile on your face: that would brighten my day!
So......let's put all our sorrows away for the moment and let's party!
There is slight delay in departure you can take a seat already if you want.
Ticket
EDIT: Two Cars went rogue...erhmmm public, so this train needs some maintance. If you find it broken: it is being fixed ASAP!
The public cars will be deleted and will come back as private ones, we do like some privacy, do we? ;-)
EDIT 2: We are back on track, the temporary derailment has been fixed and we are all private again! ;-)
EDIT 3: I am a moron! :-( I deleted Teddy Floppy Ear: The Race, cause that car was accidently public. I created a new giveaway, but that one is for Teddy Floppy Ear: Kayaking and that's a mistake! I am sorry but I have to delete this car, it will be replaced by the right game: Teddy Floppy Ear: The Race.
I am so sorry for the inconvenience!
Note to self: don't make trains when ill in future
We are back on track!
I will try and add a couple of cars later to make up for any inconvenience xD
EDIT 4: The promised extra Cars for the Teddy Floppy derailments have been added! Got you some work to do: Extra Car A
Comment has been collapsed.