Happy Cake!
Who are you? One of my blue hearts.
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Hi, Kyle! Dang, Egyptology ... that is super cool. I've always wished my college (USA here) had some courses in Egyptology, but alas, they did not. But I love reading about the history and mythology. I've actually got an ankh tattoo on my right ankle.
Man, disorders suck. I struggle with depression, too, and it can be very difficult. I agree, though, with your attitude that we should all have hope for the potential we have! If you ever want to just chat and talk it out, I'm only a click away.
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Yeah, it's a dream come true. That's cool about the tattoo! I've been thinking about getting tattoos, and one of my idea's was to have something like this on my left arm (which is my stronger arm) and this on my right arm. Horus and Seth are a cornerstone of Egyptian mythology, and the themes they cover - the Divine Right of Kings, the Eternal yet necessary struggle of Good vs. Evil - are cornerstones of mythology as a whole.
and thank you for offering to chat. I'll try and remember, and will if I do need someone, and likewise to you if you ever need anyone. :)
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Those are both super cool! I've been thinking about getting an eye of Horus tattoo on my left ankle, and will probably do so after I get a new job.
And yeah, mythology as a whole is super interesting. I'm a big fan of Egyptian and Norse mythology myself. So interesting, and really helps give some insight into the mindsets of older cultures.
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Indeed, particularly as those mindsets can still say a lot about where we are now. :)
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So true! Can I ask which mythology you are most interested in? I mean, there are so many from all across the world, and I've tried to at least acquaint myself with many of them, though I admit I am not very knowledgeable in African (other than ancient Egypt) or Asian mythology.
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Well, obviously Egyptian is a given. :P Apart from that, I enjoy many of the Near Eastern mythologies (Assyrian, Babylonian etc.) as well as the Greek mythos, which I'll be doing a module on next year. :)
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Sweet! My freshman year of college, my honors student group got to take a field trip to Chicago, so I got to see a bunch of ancient Egyptian artifacts and also got to take a picture next to a real Assyrian lamassu. So fun!
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Whenever I find myself in England again, I'll make it a priority!
The Met in New York also has a ton of space devoted to Egypt ... it was one of the highlights when I visited, for sure. Plus, outside the Met is Cleopatra's obelisk.
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If I ever make it to the Big Apple, I'll make sure to visit. :)
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Happy cake day and thank you for the generous giveaways!
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Kudos for writing that down. There isn't much that I could contribute to your story, but I guess you'll be satisfied knowing that it reached someone out there. ;)
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Happy Cake day and thanks for the gifts. I am sorry to hear all of this and I wish you the best of luck. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me. I think that always try to live is the best option and you should continue to do that. Granted you have a condition that makes life more difficult but I think we all just have to try our best in live with what we got. Nothing is ever easy and obviously it is easy for me to type this to you when I'm not the one struggling with the conditions. But just a word of encouragement. Friends will come and go but the real one will always come back and be there for you. If they do that then these are the ones that you know would always have your back. Anyone else that can't be a real friend and help you through your struggles isn't your real friends. So if they really do walk out on you just move on because they aren't worth your time.
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HAPPY CAKE DAY
Sorry to hear about the things in your personal life not going so well.
Once you think you have hit rock bottom there is only one way to go, up.
Make every day count and stay positive. Things can only get better.
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Happy Cake Day :)
Maybe the hardest part of our lives is to learn to let go - let go some people, let go our honor sometimes, let go our "rules" that often bind us, let go our will to be original and different from everybody else. Instead we should think about NOW, enjoy the moment, it won't come back. Enjoy every second of your life becasue it IS great and beautiful (it's not just "talking", I was depressed too). Remember when you were a child? You were doing more you werevthinking less. Be like a child again. Enjoy your time :) What helped me come back to experiencing the world as a child again was improv. I've learned to not care too much about my fails, because that happens to everobody, I've learned that I am not the only one and people have the same problems as me and finally I've learned I am not alone and I've started to care about other people more, make them feel good at my side, I was giving them all my kindness and warmth and I've received the same :) And I understood that what was eating me from the inside was selfishness - I was thinking only about myself "why I fail all the time, why nobody likes me, I need friend, I, I, I". Once I've stopped caring only about myself everything turned upside down and suddenly I've noticed people really love me and they care about me, I've started to start a talk because why not? Why should I feel bad that I'm doing something I like?
Okay. I've written too much, sorry for this novel :P
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No, thank you for what you've written. It means a lot. :)
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I really wish you success in life, and I hope that you will be able to land that dream job of yours :)
Now, I'm sure there are many people here that can do a better job then me in giving life advice. I can just share my experience concering the "fear of loosing friends" part.
My university courses are very demanding and sometimes I don't go out with my friends for months at a time. I know this lead some of them to believe I don't care enough, and I am afraid of loosing them. Another one of my close friends is in a relationship with a girl I don't really like for him, and sometimes I feel he's slipping away.
I think that that the fear you are feeling is very natural but it can be overcome: we are all worth something, and if people really care than friendships can be fixed and can come out stronger than before.
If a friend is ready to give up on you, than I believe you need to try and accept that that too is a part of life, that people sometime part ways in sad or unfair circumstances. Moreover, and I know this sounds clichéed, if someone abandons you than maybe they weren't that good of a friend to begin with.
Of course every viewpoint matters. For instance I can understand how some of my friends came to feel that I don't care that much, and I am trying to be better. Maybe those friends that are not talking to you felt very hurt because of the circumstances, and need some time to get over it.
Also, your other friends that say that the non-talking ones will be back, probably they have a better view of the whole picture, in the sense that they must have spoken to the friends who are not talking to you, and there can predict that they will indeed be back.
(Wow, this last sentence really shows that I'm not a native speaker, I hope it's understandable... It's better that I stop here, before I make a fool of myself :-p )
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Thank you so much for you words. :)
Deep down, I know they will be back. It's not the first time this has happened, sadly, which is just why I really want this to be the last time. The problem I think is that our discourses have been focused too much on the threat of losing one another, of our friendship breaking down, that we've lost sight of focusing instead on what our friendship could be.
In the end, I think it just shows that maybe both I and my friends are both scared, and we're letting that fear control us too much. It'll be difficult to break out of that cycle, but we'll be able to do it together. :)
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Happy Cakeday, Kyle.
Glad to see things are looking up, at least a little, for you and that you're rolling well with the punches. :)
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Have a happy cake day and I wish you good luck on your interview!
Hope you have another good year with SG!
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You could start a school for the gifted and use the alias Professor X. There is much in life to accomplish, so don't let the small stuff eat away at you.
Happy Cakeday!
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Happy cakeday! Don't take life too serious - you still study a great topic and most likely will get a good job that way as well.
I don't really have real life friends anymore ("friendship always dies a silent death"... The communications just stopped some day and it's a two-sided issue. Sometimes getting back in contact with them on your own is the only way to keep it alive) but after getting my wife and son I don't really care about it. Family (and games ;-) ) is all I need. :-)
What you should take serious are those suicide attempts. Try to find someone close to you to talk about it. It's more helpful than anything else.
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Thanks for your words. :)
That was the problem though, I think: my first reaction was to go to the closest person I had, and while she was completely willing to listen and help where she could, it has made our relationship difficult since. It hurts her immensely to see the pain I'm in sometimes, which is why we have periods like this right now where we don't talk. I know she'll be back (as this isn't the first time this has happened), but I want it to stop happening.
I think it's about finding balance. It's good for loved ones to support you, definitely, but professional help makes it less likely for them to get hurt by doing so. :)
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Professionals can just handle it more easy because of the distance. My personal thoughts are just it's more effective if close ones are helping because they really know who you are. I'm sure you'll be able to dort it out and everything will be (almost) as it used to be before afterwards.
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Happy cake day and i really hope you feel better soon and that things get better between you and your friends. If they don't, don't despair, there's over 7 billion people on earth so you're bound to bump into some other cool people anyway. I wish you a lot of academic success and whatever else you desire. Sorry i'm not good at socialising either
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Don't be sorry, your words are lovely. Thank you. :) <3
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Hey there folks,
So I'm pretty sure most of you won't know who I am, and that's okay. For those of you who have noticed me around SteamGifts though - probably most likely through the giveaways I do each month - I reached my first "Cake Day" today. So I thought I might take some time to reflect on what has happened over the past year for me, both in terms of my time here on SteamGifts and in the much larger scheme of things, as well as where I hope to be by this time again next year.
For those of you who intend to read on, prepare for a long read. As it is my "Cake Day", I'll break my usual habit of making a big batch of giveaways each month and instead make a few short GAs for the occasion, which will be linked as follows:
Feel free to share the links around for celebration purposes. :)
Wait, who even are you?
Good question. My name's Kyle, I'm a male second-year undergraduate student at University College London studying Ancient History and Egyptology. I'm disabled, afflicted with Cerebal Palsy, which leaves me without the ability to walk and thus I have to use a wheelchair. I love video games (obviously, that's why I'm here), but I also enjoy reading, writing, debating and bonding with others over a variety of topics.
I'm a soft soul, and I have no shame in admitting that and letting that be who I am. It's why I'm so charitable - even though one could easily argue I have much better things I could spend my money on - and I enjoy bringing something nice to other people. So that's why I'm here.
If you want to know more about me, just ask away. I'll try and answer any and all questions as best I can. :)
SteamGifts, the Past Year and I: A Reflection
The easiest thing to do to start, I think, is look at the statistics. So, since joining over a year ago, I've given out over 350+ games, winning back just shy of the same amount. I'm currently Level 8 (8.52 to be exact), and I've been added to 336 whitelists as opposed to 10 blacklists. I've been added to many groups as well as removed from a few over time.
While I haven't talked and socialised very much with a lot of the people I've met, I've come to respect a lot of people just by reading what they say and seeing what they do. There are many wonderful people on this site, and I'm glad I've been able to meet just some of them. For those who've blacklisted me and / or removed me from their groups, I can respect that. I don't hold any grudges. I do enter a lot of giveaways without saying much, and when I do win I usually just keep it to a "Thank You <3" unless I feel I have something to say. I know some people don't like that, and I respect that. I do.
But it doesn't mean my thanks and gratitude are not sincere, and most of the time I don't say things because I don't feel like I have anything to say, and I feel it would be an insult if I was to say something that was half-assed or not sincere.
Still, I'm grateful for all the opportunities and successes I've had, both here on SteamGifts and in my real life.
In the past year I've made so many friends, some of them very close. I've learnt so many new things both inside and outside of my degree studies, and I've achieved many things. I recently got elected the President of my Model United Nations Society. This coming Friday I have an interview to potentially join the British Museum Friends Advisory Council, which takes me a step closer to my dream of one day being the Director, a dream which I've held since the age of ten. From the friends I've made I'll finally be escaping Europe this summer, going to the Philippines for a week in July just to enjoy the sun, get drunk off my ass and have fun times.
Warning: This is where things might get a bit deep
Things haven't been all that great though. As a result of my disability I've got a deteriorating body condition. This year I've been diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy, as well as clinical depression, after three suicide attempts across November 2015 - January 2016. Those close friends? I'm scared I'm losing them. Even now some of them are refusing to talk to me, and while our mutual friends insist to me that they will be back and won't leave, I'm still incredibly consumed by the fear. I've always struggled to make friends because of who (or perhaps what) I am, and these people are some of the closest people I've ever been to. I know that things change in life, and that we do lose some people along the way, but I don't want to lose these people. I can't bare the thought.
Why am I telling you guys all of this? Maybe it's because I don't really know any of you, so I'm not afraid of the reaction you guys will have. Most of my family - and still a good chunk of my friends - don't know that I've been through all of this. I still don't know how to tell them. I will have to tell them eventually, obviously, but I have to find a way.
So, where to go from here?
I still plan to do giveaways on SteamGifts, at least for the time being. I may have to step away from it one day, but I'll keep on giving for as much as I can. Don't worry about my finances: I always keep an eye on it, and I wouldn't be doing this if I couldn't afford the expense. So let the gifts keep on coming!
As for me, due to my illness I'll be repeating my second year again this coming year. I don't mind that, as it's the most sensible option if I want to get the grades I actually deserve. My department has been incredibly loving and supportive, and I'm grateful to them for that. I don't know what will happen between me and my friends. I'm hopeful things will even out and we'll start talking again soon, If we do, I'm trying to use my worries right now to drive me to do the right thing. I'll want us to focus on all the things that we could do and would like to do together, instead of all the things we shouldn't be doing. I want us to have hope for the potential we have, not despair over our faults, because at the end of the day we're only human.
We shouldn't hate ourselves for that.
Now, enough talking! Enjoy the giveaways, enjoy the cake, just sit back and have fun! Here's to the next year of gifting and fun times. <3
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