To give or Not to give
Then i suggest you don't give them money at all. Cause sorry for that they are not friends if they are taking advantage of you like that. The moment they get money from you, they must pay you back in a small time (a few months).
Personally, i have lent money (i mean more than 5-10 Euros cause i dont even talk about these small amounts) just to 1 person who later made me his best man. He paid me back in 3 months and i never needed to remind it to him.
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I actually had a similar situation in which I asked for it back and this guy ends up always saying he is going to pay it back, until its too late and end up drifting away from being friends. Its not like your story where you guys are immediately not friends anymore but still a similar situation anyway. After this happened I say never lend anyone money or anything at all really.
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It depends on the amount of money they want. Besides, what kind of friends are giving money as a gift? Where I come from, we use to say: "we should love like brothers, but clear accounts like Jews".
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Well actually my point is similar with your comment below i always try to return their money at time but they dont want it from me at all.I sometimes force them to take their money back or we just say that 'alright the next time we go out i will get the meal or dessert' thats how it should work.I hate talking about money with not so close friends of mine cause %99 it not ends up well.I prefer to have 4-5 close friends then 20-30 'friends' who support me on my good and healthy days and not show off att all on by hard days so yeah you gotta be selective with your friends:)
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I would seem they weren't actually your friends... I never had this problem, but I have only lent money to the people whom I trust.
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never lend friends or family money. Its not good for either of you. Either GIVE them the money because you care about their situation or don't. But lending causes problems.
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From my experience if the friend is not a best friend and you mix money in this "friendship" probably you lost them both(money and "friend")!But dont worry if you lost them!The true friends never get lost! :D
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Yeah I know what you are saying. Is a thin line between that yes and no. At the end of the day. To me is not about the money but to cut me off like that. I mean I know this kid and his family for over 10+ years.
When family ask me for money to help them out. I would never consider getting those money back cause I would just consider it as a gift. Is up to them if they want to pay me back or not.
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My circle of close friends are very very small so I can trust those. I don't go out and just work than home. Just the casual dinner and get together with friends once a while.
Once you get into the work field and start having a family. There isn't much time for anything else
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Totally unrelated: I really hope his third book in this trilogy will be released soon :'(
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Ah, yes, those are much more expensive. I'm guilty of being a kindle addict and that's much cheaper :P
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Just hard to find a good position to read, if you are sitting and reading on table, your neck gets tried. if on bed, you just toss and turn, hand will get tried from holding book. I always have that issue. I tend to chase books, I usually finish a book in 1 sitting if time premits
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I don't lend money to Friends (with a capital F, as opposed to just friends) - if they need it, I just give it to them without wanting it back (and I often have to clash with their pride). That being said, I have a lot of friends and very little Friends, which makes things easy.
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You can have friends that run of with your money but then again it can get even worse (or better depending on the situation) if they run of with your wife or girlfriend! ^ ^
In the end I personally prefer quality over quantity as some tiny gold nuggets are much better then a dump truck filled with fool's gold.
Edit: As CCL666 said just above here: one can have Friends and one can have friends!
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I always get my friends on a loan. That way, we know from the get-go what financial compensation to expect and there's no surprise.
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Never lend money, only give it if you can afford to loose it. If they do return it thats just a bonus.
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Sorry to say, but I think it's better that it happened. At least you know what kind of person he is. And I completely disagree with people who say that lending money can only cause troubles - there was a time when I was in really hard situation and one of my friend lend me big sum. I pay it all up, even though she wanted to reduce the debt. It's the matter of personality. Generally, sadly, people very easily get used to generosity.
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'REAL life' friends fuck you over REAL hard, hence the naming.
Digital friends tend to be more reliable [in my experience], strangely, perhaps due to the limiting of social facades.
Of course, making any assumptions based on arbitrary and abstract elements is silly to begin with.
Unless you think everyone online is imaginary.
..or that everyone not online is.. o.o
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Possibility 1) Everyone everywhere is imaginary. I'm just a masochistic, disembodied consciousness that's dreaming up this laborious existence.
Possibility 2) Everyone everywhere is imaginary but it's someone else who is a sadistic, disembodied consciousness that's dreaming up this laborious existence for me.
Possibility 3) Everyone is real but Skeletor's slam dunk is still imaginary.
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You didn't get burned for being nice. You got burned for not realizing that giving someone something with an expectation that you'll get something back is a test of trust, with a possible cost. Estimate the risk and make sure you're willing to pay the cost first. Don't beat yourself up over getting it wrong, it happens. There's no way to get close friendships without giving people the opportunity to abuse your trust. The ones that do fail the friendship test. It's not a comment on your personality.
My personal policy is to never lend money to anyone. If I give you money, I'm not expecting it back. I'll be pleased if you do give it back, and if you don't I'm not likely to ever give you anything again, but the first time's on the house as long as the house knows it can afford it.
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Sorry but sounds to me you have a little bit low standards for calling someone a friend. I have a pretty small group of ppl I would actualy call friends and not acquaintances, familiars etc. If any actual friend would ask me for money - I'd give it to him no questions asked. But I also know that none of them would ask unless they would really need it nor would pull any kind of shennenigans on me.
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Always think of lending money as a gift, don't ever expect to get it back. If someone is asking friends/family for money because they can't pay their bills, they obviously have a financial management problem that needs attention. Help them solve the root of the problem. Figure out why they don't have any money. They either need to earn more or spend less.
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OR something specific happened that screwed them over, like a house fire or losing their job or the like.
I agree with you on discussing matters with them and treating money as a gift, but making negative assumptions about your friends is certainly one way to lose them.
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I think Movac's quote sums it up the best
never give a friend a loan that you wouldn't give as a gift
And if you grow estranged over this, then they weren't such good friends to begin with, so no big loss right?
I've lent money to close friends I really trust before. But I knew I wouldn't have to bug them to get paid back. Then again, I also paid a friend's utility bills behind her back because she refused any kind of help and was about to get disconnected.
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Just wanted to know if this ever happen to any of you. So I had this happen to me 3 times now. Friend A, ask to borrow some money cause A is a rough spot, no money to pay bill etc. Comes to you to ask if he can borrow some money off you. You say yes and everything is good, until you ask for the money back very later down the road. They give you some BS story and next thing you, you are no longer on their friend list.
To me is not really about the money but to lose friends over something like that? I mean one removed me from all friend list and contact when I didn't even ask for the money back.
I would be better off to just say NO, but when your friend comes to you asking for help, would you ignore it, if you are able to help.
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