Theories Of After Death - [Now With GA]

So I was reading some scps recently and was reminded of scp-2718. It's probably in my top 5 favorite scp articles, but it paints a horrifying picture of the afterlife, the same reality as ours, still trapped in our mortal body, feeling every decomposition and degradation of your body, your particles, a seemingly exponentially painful and uncomfortable eternity.

I'm not one who's afraid of death, actually the opposite, but stories like this put a little bit of fear and doubt in me. Only ones like it, this one in particular I love, but have no belief in. But that is a story, not a actual theory, so it's not unexpected. The similar theory that actually has made me scared of death is that when our bodies go our consciousness continues. We become trapped in a void of nothingness with only our thoughts. I spend all day blaring music or podcasts or writings trying to avoid my thoughts, an eternity with them is worse than any hell that I could imagine.

That thought is behind my dislike and fear of many theories. I used to be Christian. as a tiny child I believed when I died I would go to an awesome happy place called heaven.I loved the idea of an afterlife and wanted to go so badly. As I grew older they started to actually explain what heaven was. A place where your pets couldn't go, nor the nonbelievers. I hated that, but if I could not feel what I did on mortal Earth then it's fine. But then I started thinkng I wouldn't. Depression is part of the brain, so I'd keep that when I went to heaven. An eternity of feeling the way I did and being a guy seemed no different than hell. Later I learned in heaven we will be given new bodies, Maybe I could be a girl? However, with these new bodies our minds are also kinda changed and we become eternal worshipers, and that is not an eternal existence I want.

As you can tell, I struggled a lot with Christianity, and I eventually lost my belief. I dabbled with the belief of reincarnation, the idea I could be someone else seemed very apealing, but more like a hope than a belif. Now I just think that we cease to exist when we die. I don't really put much thought into it ir other beliefs because I hope that what I believe is true and want to keep believing it is.

But I kinda am interested in other ideas of after death and thoughts on those ideas so if you have any please comment. I'm on mobile and lazy, but I might add a ga tomorrow.

And Suddenly a ga!