Captain O'Grady returns

Avast! Ye cod-faced landlubbers thought ye'd be rid of me, didn't ye? Ahar! It be international talk like a pirate day, so I have risen from the briny deeps to plunder me ole matey's purse again so I can send ye off into a pirating adventure! Let's see, where could old Captain O'Grady send ye....

Yer Captain thinks we've plundered enough on the seven seas. So to git yer hands on Captain O'Grady's loot this year, ye'll have to find other things to pirate. Now, Captain O'Grady needs some additional seamen on his poop deck for this to work. Join me on me voyage of plunder, swashbuckling, boozing and wenches... if ye dare.

First, we'll be plundering the far-away planet Galleon in sector A7RDK. One of ye scurvy-ridden helldogs will remain behind and govern for us. Decide among yerselves, the captain has his eye on bigger ventures. We'll use our new-found riches to acquire one of those blasted flux capacitors, and by "acquire" yer captain means "get even bigger cannons and plunder us one". The boatswain told me we'd need some zero Alternation Guidance diffuser Hexylene to make it work, but we'll just plunder us some of that, too, and then plunder THE FUTURE! Yar!
Be sure ye bottom-feeders bring yer best blunderbuss, for nobody knows we ye'll be encountering. Ye! Yer names Jeff, right? Maybe they'll pronounce it Jyf, and ye'll blast them and take all their future loot! Every last Uz or whatever they will call their gold dubloons!
Now I can see some of ye yellow-bellied girly lumps of scum that dare themselves sailors wet themselves. Yer a disgrace! Yed like to download French cargo of tobacco and spices, do yer? Ye'll plunder it the RIGHT way, yer blaggards! With 87 Narwals lashing and Intimidating yer victims!

Yar, yer may not be made of stern enough stuff to sail with captain O'Grady, after all. If ye think ye are, join me and we'll sing the song of the weak-hearted pansies!

Ye said yer a sailor
Ye said it with pride
When danger came running
Ye, too, ran to hide

Yer a weak-hearted pansy
Yer britches are wet
A fight makes ye antsy
A sword brings ye dread

X marks the spot
But not for ye
9 lashes do suit ye
Zack! Zack! Ye'll see!
Punishment rightly got

The captain's ashamed
And does not talk of ye
But ye can't blame yerself
No, just leave it to me

Yer a weak-hearted pansy
Yer britches are wet
A fight makes ye antsy
A sword brings ye dread

NOW EVERYONE JOIN IN THE CHORUS!
X marks the spot
But not for ye
9 lashes do suit ye
Zack! Zack! Ye'll see!
Punishment rightly got
AND AGAIN!
X marks the spot
But not for ye
9 lashes do suit ye
Zack! Zack! Ye'll see!
Punishment rightly got

Yarr!

Now that's a pirate song! Sing it wih disdain for thar weak sailors who cannot sail with CAPTAIN O'GRADY!
And YAR to ye all!