Are you satisfied with life?
Life is like a Hitman level: There are many ways to achieve the same result.
For some people, college university and all that....it's where the excel. It comes naturally to them and they thrive, either on the pressure or the deadlines, or the limits or the freedoms, or whatever. But some folk, and I suspect you fall into this category, do not thrive there.
I, myself, dreamed of going to a prestigious university...one that many of my friends ended up going to. But...even in my "chosen field" I failed, over and over. It wasn't a lack of intelligence or understanding, but my heart wasn't in it, at all. The constant covering of the same topics, the endless testing...the lack of open-world options to it all....it was a linear, on rails experience. I had to answer exactly what was in the answer book, and no creative problem solving or "technically correct, but not what I have here" type answers would suffice.
So, maybe you're like that too? If you're wanting to go into digital art, it must imply you have a creative mind. I bet you prefer to find a crazy solution to your problems that the tried-and-true cliches in the world?
If so, don't feel bad. You're just not suited to it. You're the star peg, so stop trying to fit into the square hole!
The good news is, in creative fields, you don't always need a degree to suceed. You can make a portfolio. Let your passion shine through in your work while you slog away at a soul destroying nine to five. Your patience and persistance will pay off and you'll be able to jack the shitty job in and live your dreams!
Or something like that. Don't listen to me, I'm a failure.
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Ooops, my tangent got away from me. I'm way past the age of going to uni. That dream is sunk.
The good news is, I have found my calling in life. The bad news is, it's not a paying job :sad trombone noise:
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.the lack of open-world options to it all....it was a linear, on rails experience.
Wait, are we talking about your life or a CRPG, here? 8-}
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I live better than i think i do most of the times. Things werent great past few weeks at all but compared to vast majority of earth's population i'm doing good.
Thou it's always related to a point of your own view.
You always look up and think that this is what you deserve and then things go a little bit south everyone takes that very heartly. While your 'south' might be best ever for someone else who had it worse most of his life.
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I know that feeling too well...
Take a look at group giveaways if you're interested in Mother Russia Bleeds or something ^^
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I know the feeling.
My mother wanted me to study medicine as well, like her and like her sister... as to her, status was the most important thing. I did until I was 18, even though I had zero interest in it. Then I told her I didn't want to do it anymore, and she said I wasn't welcome anymore, so I left home at 18, to make my own decisions and my own mistakes.
Now we've bonded again, and I visit her once in a while, so we're okay. Most of my cousins are in med school, and I'm not, but it's okay too, I did not want to be there.
You're the superstar of your own story, everyone else are just... extras (;. You can do it!
Have you read The Alchemist ? It's my favorite book:)
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It's technically not med school, so I guess not. It would have been just a bit after 18.
But I was in a 'concentration' I didn't want to be in in college, natural sciences (I'm not sure how to say all that in English).
Which kind of prepares you for it. And I had extra private tutoring sessions outside of school for stuff I was not interested in, such as chemistry, biology. As well as regular meeting with a guy that was in med school to prepare me for the med school entrance interviews.
So I did all the process before it before decided I really, really wanted no part in it.
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Oh my.
Well, encouraging them towards it is okay, it's a good profession.
If they force them to do it and dismiss any other opinion the children have by saying 'you don't know anything', that's less okay.
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That's staggering. I just don't understand how loving, well-meaning parents can kick out a child just because s/he doesn't follow the career they want him/her to follow. =(
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University studying electronic engineering, about a year away from graduating.
Always been single.
23 years old.
Not overly happy, mostly going with the flow.
I just finished an exchange (semester abroad) in Finland and am travelling around Europe for a month. I am enjoying it quite a bit though I don't see me feeling any happier than I usually am once I get back home.
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"The one thing that I regret the most, is not doing anything after I graduated high school, my parents told me to go to medical career, I did, I failed, then a different med major did, I failed, then a different med major, I did I failed.. then I realized.. why the fuck am I listening to them? I hate medical related jobs.. the reason I was failing was because I didn't fucking care enough."
Wow dude. This one hit me hard. Like totally. Because it's like meeteing somebody with my own mindset (excluding minor details like the fact that I'm in University of Technology instead of medical school). I'm not sure if this can help, but just couple days ago, with help of my 2 friends I got past this point. Or so I am going to believe until the next time I get those feelings. And here's how I look at it myself.
In a way, you did not lose those years. Sure, it took you time to realise, but you got there. Sure, your conditions are worse (financial problems), your possibilities are not as wide as they could have been, but You know what? Absolutely NOTHING will change if you keep thinking about it. What is worse, you might lose another couple months not being able to forgive yourself for losing so much time.
Now is the time to set today as day 0 (or day one, i don't care), because what is going to matter in the rest of your life, is what you do from now on. What you want to do, what you need to do to have it, what plans and endeavors are you seeing right now on this way. This is what actually matters,
So this is how I look at the time loss - not necessarily a loss, but definitly a loss if you keep thinking about it (unless in "Never gonna lose so much time again" way - this one seems okay).
And what I personally hope for you to happen is to emerge victorious. That if you keep on striving, the combination of hard work, wits, skills, motivation not to lose anymore of your time and even sheer luck will result in your victory.
Thanks for reading
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Hey, I know that it might seem like "Yeah, sounds nice, but easy for you to say, because I'm struggling here for REAL". I've seen many of those motivational videos on Youtube, that get you pumped for a minute, and are good only for physical exercise, but not for real life choices. I know that my comment might resemble one of those.
I also know, that I've spent so much time looking at yesterday. Every day I think of yesterday and I see a guy who did a thing that really mattered. Started learning something useful, read a book, started talking with a friend that was out of my life for so long God knows why. He looks like me, he talks like me, lives where I live, wears my clothes, but he's successful, sorrounded with people he cares for and who care for him, he enjoys life. And then, just a moment before falling asleep I see myself - a guy, who has just spent entire day doing nothing, but looking at yesterday, that never happenned.
And it took me so long to realise just this much. One single observation. Just looking at myself from outsider's perspective took me 1.5 year, while one day should bo enough to do so.
All in all, it had lead me to zero-one type choice: You either man up and start pushing towards ideal you, that you want to be, or continue going the way you are ( probably leading to depression, and from there you just see a grey world, and from there you just want to have eternal peace. Because it might just be less painful than living.).
And you realise that crying, loneliness, depression, and death is not what you really want in life. It's friends, cool house, nice car, best girl there is for you, fun job and a little bit of adventure from time to time. And then you realise, that only one option remains. Just one out of these two.
I'm not that good with words. I just hope, that at least one person that reads my comments will get what I mean. And that is realisation, that you actually want to be happy with your life, and this happiness can only be achieved by going towards it, not by waiting.
PS This entire comment was just and answer for those "let it go.. let- ehm.." because I didn't think you were convinced (not that you have to be convinced now either). If it was however an expression of stream of conciousness leading you to a famous song, then i guess my 2nd reply wasn't needed at all... :)
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Struggling i guess. Graduated but dont know what to study. Ive always wanted to do music for living but at this point im not sure anymore. It seems impossibe to me. Now working in a boring grocery store where im stuck for at least the next 7 months. Its the same thing everyday, so i try to just do it without thinking and see where ill end up :)
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I honestly think people have over objectified happiness as a "something" you must "reach" in your life at all cost, like once you arrive the destination you will fell happy for ever, hapiness to me is just the lack of worries and regrets, why can you have happy "moments" but not be happy the whole time? to me being happy is similar to the meditation principle, it has nothing to do with what you have, but with what you do, live in the present and keep doing a thing that keeps you focused, when you don't leave room for distractions you can't regret about the past (depression) or wonder about the future(anxiety). I must agree with people saying about comparing yourself with others, you really don't care if X person have more money than you, but you do care that people "tells you" the X person do have it, so yeah, stop giving a fuck, do whatever you want to do, so you can't regret not doing it latter, and keep focused doing it. To be honest, gaming is not unlike meditation, that is why we feel happy while playing, the downside is that since is a bad habit it end up filling us with regret, so I just tend to game seriously once I finish a project.
PD: I'm low budget indie dev, progressing slowly, but constantly.
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Thanks for reminding me of that book, a friend had recommended it to me and I had forgotten about it for a little while. Going to put it next in my queue. I've read another of his books, Models: Attract Women Through Honesty which isn't your usual sleazy "pickup artist" become a chick magnet BS but has actually improved my relationships with women. Highly recommend that one.
As far as where I'm at in life, well.. I'm in a much better place than I was a few years back, just going with the flow and not doing anything to actively better myself and improve my situation. The most important change I've made is my mindset; positive thinking & mindful meditation has really improved my quality of life. One thing that has stuck with me is a quote by Charles Swindoll:
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it"
It's a huge cliche, but it's important not to ignore things just because they are cliches, because there is often a lot of truth to them. Just focusing on the positives rather than the negatives in your life will make you a more positive person, make you more healthy, and make you more enjoyable to be around to your friends and potential romantic partners.
Am I where I want to be in life? That's a difficult question, I haven't accomplished everything I want to yet and there are things I want that I don't have. But I do see more and more that life is a journey, not a destination and I will continue to enjoy it and try to better myself and those around me.
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Life was really good to me last year. I lived a mostly wonderful life with my girlfriend and we had the opportunity to spend the whole year with our baby daughter (she was born at the end of 2015). Almost no stress, no worries and a very quiet life, quite different from the previous years.
I had to sacrifice a successful career in science and had to learn how to live on a tighter budget but it was, and still is, totally worth it. It is a privilege to spend so much time with the people I love and to see my baby grow, not missing a thing. On the other hand, I now have less time for gaming than when I had a full/over? time job ;)
Life is sometimes made of struggles but, from my experience, it is never too late to do something you really want and to become someone you really like. The problem most people have is that they take themselves and everything too serious (me included), and they tend to find their goals and ambitions outside of themselves.
I wish you the best in your journey :)
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My life and my situation no jobs or no future .
I dont have any jobs.
I must live near my kids too , My kids live other place .
I not cant move from my city Tanum.
It difficult to found a apartment in Sweden to rent .
Are so many bad rules in Sweden ,
I am stuck in a system försäknigkassan ,
Do not consider me as unemployed . I not al
By the försäknigkassan .
I am not sick any more .
The not want to listen or understand me is government försäkringskassan .
Not want help me to stop me. guaranteed compensation .
I want coming out off is system
I'm out insured . have no right to get help to find work.
I have tell is to försäkringskassan I am good healthy .
Försäkringskassan tell me .No to me .
Not want think i can start work .
Not want i try and get same chance other people have a jobs .
The want hold me back in system for for ( guaranteed compensation )
It more easy to explain in Swedish .
What i want say about my situation
I dont had get chance to found a jobs, i have aford to can pay for a car and pay for driving school ,
I've managed to get my school loans written off, I can not borrow money to education any more
I am born in Sweden . Have problem whit handwriting ,
I can speek good Swedish and some English too .
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To a large degree it's a matter of view / perception. Objectively, I can't buy my own place at the moment (not without going into the type of mortgage that does not make sense to me), yet I still voted "I couldn't ask for a better life than right now", because that's how I feel. Owning my own place does not define how accomplished or content I feel, even if to some people I know it is the number one benchmark. I'm sure that if I look hard enough, I'll be able to find other reasons that should "objectively" justify voting for a different option, but I prefer to be subjective here ;-)
I hope you'll get to study and do what your heart desires and not what your parents push for. Your lack of success when it comes to medical work is not telling in any way about how successful you can be in fields that are interesting to you and that better match your talents. I know that, I for one would never had the chance to be successful doing anything medical-related. Luckily no-one pushed me in that direction.
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I'm struggling with a meh part-time job, which is pretty fucking pathetic when you think about it. I have no idea where my life is going, I can't teach myself anything so my knowledge of things is pretty much limited by my passion for computers and video games. I'm a pretty big failure, but I try not to care because that would be incredibly depressing for me if I would.
All in all, I really don't know what I'm doing with my life, a life that kinda sucks in a way. I'm at least satisfied about not being a complete mess. Things are going. Not going well, but going. If I keep looking up and try to stay positive, I'll be fine.
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Well, I really just know basic hardware stuff, but I like upgrading/building computers, so it's not really something that I could make a career of. As for the coding side of this, I've tried teaching myself how to code, but let me be very honest here - I'm just dumb. I can't grasp simple concepts, I rarely memorize anything, and overall I just don't learn very well. I've always had trouble with school work too.
But my biggest issue is I'm also too... I don't know. Lazy? Probably lazy. Too lazy to get my shit together and actually do one big effort to learn anything - I'll keep it up for a week at most, then procrastinate and eventually drop everything even though I really want to keep going. It's either a laziness problem, or I'm just not determined enough (accidentally, it's pretty much the same thing).
Knowing that I could do something with my life but not doing it, even when I try, is the worse feeling ever. I have the time. I have the energy. But instead I just waste my time. I think maybe I'm just a very bad teacher, and that's why I can't learn anything by myself. But I don't have the opportunity/resources required to take classes or get anyone to teach me, so yeah. It's a pretty hard spot I'm in.
But I mean, then again perhaps this is just a state of existential crisis I'm going through, and I'm just rushing things. I'm only 20, so I still have a pretty long time to go before "getting old". Hopefully I can find my "meaning of life" before then. :P
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You've already helped me more than you may think. Just knowing that people like me can get their shit together one day gives me a bit of hope for my future. It may not be much now, but I'm feeling slightly more motivated to try again until I succeed. :P
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"Knowing that I could do something with my life but not doing it, even when I try, is the worse feeling ever. I have the time. I have the energy. But instead I just waste my time."
That's me exactly. I've spent years after dropping out of uni working a part time job and struggling to even cope with that due to major depression and anxiety. Parents constantly told me to go to school for anything just to improve myself, gather credits for the future, or even just to get experience in different things to find something I'd be interested in. But I never did... and I'm basically just too lazy to. I've always been smart. Never studied in high school and instead got by with good grades on my natural intelligence. You can't do that in uni and you can't really do that in real life. RL requires effort, ambition, and the will to go seek out opportunities and I just can't seem to be arsed. It could all be depression but I think I'm just lazy and letting myself wallow in depression. Pretty pathetic but any time I ever did muster myself up and tried to make an effort, I just crashed again and again. So at this point I've kind of given up.
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Sounds about right. I felt pretty depressed for a time, until I chose to ignore the blatant fact that I was failing hard. These days I feel like I'm lying to myself, but then again it's just a way to cope with it, and does less harm than being constantly aware so I won't complaint. One of these days maybe, just maybe I'll be able to make things work and finally give myself some hope for my future.
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The whole med school sounds familiar, my mother wanted me to do it too, I applied for it, as well as other domains. I managed to get in all of them, surprisingly I was apt enough to try it all, I've tried a bit of med school and law school, but did not finish either of them, I did not feel the calling or the passion. I also've been to computer science and electronic engineering, managed to get a bachelor in both of them...but I somehow still do not feel fulfilled. I am still considering to try Art School, for acting or something related to that. I didn't yet get a job, despite probably having plenty of options, I managed somehow using scholarships and odd jobs. I feel empty and unmotivated, without any passion truly, maybe out of fear of disappointment or just failure, rejection... I guess my definition of happiness, a happy life, would be to find something or someone to commit for, to find a sort of purpose, to dedicate my efforts. But even then, I can't be certain if it is truly what I need/want to fill up my emptiness. #melodramatic #histrionic Sorry, I've said a whole lot of nothing, basically my answer is: "I don't know" I am really undecided, I will probably go with the flow and regret it later on.
All in all, I guess it is never too late to do what you truly like, with some dedication and luck you can get far. I wish you all the best and hope you'll manage to achieve what you wish in life.
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"Schrödinger's cat" is the best way to describe my life right now.
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Exactly.
I'm not dead but I'm not living, I'm in a limbo.
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What is a good and happy life to you?
For me that would be a life with enough money to have a good living and have some left over to just do nice stuff with (games, guitars, concerts etc). I also need enough spare time, but a normal work week in an office should provide that. So basically what it comes down to, I need to be able to enjoy myself while living on a nice standard. I live a life of luxury (but not too much, basic luxury).
and are you in it right now?
Partially. I have plenty of spare time. Money is an issue from time to time at the moment but I get enough to not to worry too much.
if not, what are you trying to do to get there? What are you willing to sacrifice to get there?
I'm almost half way my study to get a bachelor degree in Software Engineering. After I'm done I'm almost guaranteed to get a nice job with a good pay. Best thing though is that I really enjoy it.
So I am reading this book "the subtle art of how not to give a f*ck" by Mark Manson
There's a book for that? O_o
I generally just don't give a shit about basically anything. I see so many people getting all worked up about almost everything they don't have control over. Take for example the terrorist attacks lately. Whenever one happens I'm always like "damn, again? That's shit." and then move on. If something doesn't affect me or anyone around me (this is not just limited to very close to me. If something affects a community I'm part of or something like that, it also affects me), why would I worry about it? It will only give more stress and you will be less able to enjoy your life.
So if there is one thing to learn from me, if your parents are controlling you, stop them before its too late, but know that they are only doing what they think is best for you. I don't blame my parents, I blame my self for blindly following them.
That's very good advice. The moment I turned 18 I basically told my parents that I control my own life and that they shouldn't even try to bother to control me or my life. Of course I listen to their advice, but I don't listen to them if I feel different. I really hope people read your advice and act on it. It can be difficult at times (I have had some serious arguments with my parents about stuff like this sadly), but it is worth it.
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I'm at that point where I just wish a meteor would fall on my head and end it. Everything is just so, so pointless. The world is a complete disappointment. Humanity as a whole feels like a complete failure that there is no point in fighting for (sure, there are nice good people out there, but they are not the ones in charge- the people with the power to change things are anything but "nice", because they have to be ruthless to get that power). Stupidity, greed and pointless violence reign supreme in the world.
Basically my cynicism has reached an all time high and I can barely see any good in the world anymore, yaaaay! :D
I used to have a dream once. I wanted to be a game developer so I would be making games and thus bringing joy to people as games brought joy to me. How naive and foolish. Now I know a lot more about the games industry. And it's the worst thing ever.
I'm at uni now, 5-th year, going for Masters. I don't know if I'll be able to finish this year since I feel so unmotivated to do anything (the first semester already passed and I haven't done anything on my project, aka dissertation). What's the point in getting a "Masters in Informatics"? So I can have a job in... what? Everything sucks so I'll be miserable regardless of what I pick. But I need money, don't I? For what? What am I gonna accomplish with them?!
Basically, I'm just waiting for the school year to end- with or without a Masters. Then I'm gonna go home and wait. Wait until I either somehow get motivated to do something or... Or I dunno. :P
Um, sorry, I shouldn't be bothering others with stuff like that (and I didn't even answer any of your questions :/ )... I... I don't even know why I wrote all of this and posted it. Just imagine you never saw this.
Look, a kitten! :D
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"(sure, there are nice good people out there, but they are not the ones in charge- the people with the power to change things are anything but "nice", because they have to be ruthless to get that power)"
Usually I'd respond with "Try to become in charge nicely", but you could be right, thinking about how many people should have already thought so (trying to climb up with good manners and leeping those good intentions), but obviously failed (no success or becoming ruthless). But while this might be correct for politics and business, what's about charities and clubs/smaller groups?
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You are only looking at the negative things in life, all the good things that happened, you forget and all the bad things (hate and greedy people) stays in your mind.
You should read "the subtle art of not giving a fuck".. because you shouldn't give a fuck if a greedy asshole is in charge doing horrible things.. because why should you? nothing you can do about it... Instead, try to help people on your own terms... like bringing joy by making games. Do your own thing.
and humanity is not a failure, we had done great things, we helped people in need, if there is a hurricane that destroyed houses. you bet your ass people.. HUMANS will be there to help. We help each other out.. but once in a while.. there are assholes like you mentioned. and that's what you pay attention most.
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I am struggling but I am trying. Thanks for giving the name of the book you're reading, I'll search for it to read it too.
P.S.: I've also been wasting plenty of time of my life. You can add me on Steam if you want someone to talk to, but I warn I'll be busy most of the time, so I can't get online so often and log in sometimes just to farm cards.
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So I am reading this book "the subtle art of how not to give a f*ck" by Mark Manson, and one of thing he pointed out is that when looking for happiness, most people look for a life with no problem, but that doesn't exist, so people are never satisfied, instead, look for a life with problems you can tolerate, something you don't have to hide from.
I think people have a different definition of a good life, people want a life with a lot of money, or enough money, life with family and friends, a career they enjoy, or all of the above. Some people are also never satisfied because they compare their life towards someone more successful, which is something you should never do, in my opinion.
So I ask you guys, What is a good and happy life to you? and are you in it right now? if not, what are you trying to do to get there? What are you willing to sacrifice to get there?
Right now, I am struggling.. struggling and trying hard not to fall to rock bottom.
The one thing that I regret the most, is not doing anything after I graduated high school, my parents told me to go to medical career, I did, I failed, then a different med major did, I failed, then a different med major, I did I failed.. then I realized.. why the fuck am I listening to them? I hate medical related jobs.. the reason I was failing was because I didn't fucking care enough. By that point, it was kinda too late for me, my rich step dad and my mom got divorced, so I didn't have any money to actually go to a school with a different major I really wanted "digital art". So now, I a go to job to job trying to save money for a school I want, but I can't because problem occurs that i had to use my saving, like broken car. Every time i bring up school, my brother would say "why? you fucking failed with all of them".
So if there is one thing to learn from me, if your parents are controlling you, stop them before its too late, but know that they are only doing what they think is best for you. I don't blame my parents, I blame my self for blindly following them.
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