Saints Row series, Dust: An Elysian Tale, Deadlight, Portal etc.

Thomas Was Alone

Crusader Kings 2.

Then teach me how to play since I'm super confused by the whole game.

Mirror's Edge, Thief Gold, Back to the Future, Warlock: Master of the Arcane, Wallace & Gromit, Hard Reset.
Neither of those games are super lengthy (but they are not of insignificant length either), but they are quite good.

• Bioshock
• Portal
• Mark of the Ninja
• Trine 2

There are others that are worth your time, but these needs to be played first. :D

To help me on that I did a little bash script which parses Achievement Stats and recommends what to play.

Here is the logic behind it: In achievements sites you usually get less points for the ones more people have. So, the less points you get for the achievements in a game, it's because: 1. The game is very popular, or 2. The game is easy to finish (or get the achievements at least). Both cases are useful for me; I would like to play and finish those popular games, and the easier too.

So that's it. My script will go and find those games in my backlog for which pending achievements are easier to get.
I know, I'm only limiting the recommendations to games with achievements (bummer). Btw, the recommendations have worked accurately so far, but I still have little time to play.

I tried to run my script against your profile, but you seem to be blacklisted on Achievement Stats.

Bioshock is top notch. Dead Space is also great. Half life 2 also. Saints row are fun too but they're open world so those are harder to "complete"

Bioshock, Portal, Half Life, Limbo, Magicka, Puzzle Agent, Edna & Harvey, Thief.

Imo,start ruling out everything you possibly wouldn't even finish:
Deadbreed is a moba,that is pretty much a hit-or-miss: And for most,it is a miss. Give it ~2 hours,see if you can or can't get into it,and assuming not(lag,framerate,bad gameplay,etc),it's a safe -1.
Vanguard princess(and it's DLC,so is this 2 entries?) is a classic fighting game that doesn't have any multiplayer. Either you dislike it and quickly discard it,or go through campaign a few times and then get bored - done.
Red Orchestra 2 has a different gameplay than most fps; It's a bit more complicated and many find it hard to get into. Give it a shot and see if it interests you. If it doesn't,mark it finished.
Receiver has a somewhat abstract gameplay; Hit it and squeeze a few minutes to see if you like it or mark another title done.
Unturned (iirc) is one of those early access infinite beta half-developed games. Give it no more than 15 minutes.
Memories of a vagabond has somewhat undeveloped gameplay accompanied with meh graphics. While a lot of RPGs start slow,this one just doesn't get better. When you think "this battle wasn't fun",quit.
Dead bits...I'll leave it for you to describe it.
Gearcrack arena - you could probably finish it before realizing you're not in a shitty tutorial. Soundtrack has good opinions,though.
Enclave was too buggy for me to progress through. See if it's any better.
There are no words for Uriel's Chasm.
Rush bros is a time-attack platformer(sort of); Some may like it,some not. If you do though,there are enough levels for it to last for a while - but if you dislike it,don't go past level 10 or so.
Saira is another one of those atmospheric walking simulators; Give it a try,it shouldn't take long to figure out if you're interested or not,and even if you are,it's short.

Hover on to single-playthrough:
Exceed(anything of the series) are short and have little replay value(aside from doing them with the two other characters/higher difficulty). It may get frustrating if you're bad at them,though..
Mirror's edge is something some people enjoy,some not; Even if you do,it's do the campaign once and get it over with.
Metro 2033 is a somewhat generic fps/rpg. Go through it once.
DLC quest is supposedly a parody; If you can't catch the jokes,uninstall; If you do,finish once.
Dust: An Elysian tale is a well-received action rpg; Go with the highest difficulty available,then beat the final boss and viola.
Spec Ops:The line has an unconventional story that not anyone can tap into,but is still mostly enjoyable as fps. Keep saving frequently; If you like the story,you may want to redo some scenes,but there ain't many and you seem to already have started it,so there's that.
Ether Vapor is another bullet hell,and much like exceed,there isn't a lot of replay value aside from new characters/difficulties.

Those are the titles I recognized or played in the past. Good luck!

I'd suggest that you first try games you think you don't like, and if you really don't like them, rule them out. (If you do, play them or move them back to the backlog.)

Then look for short games, and try to finish them.

GTA: SA, half life 2 (+ episodes) Maybe 1 but I haven't played that one, if you want to play it I recommend black mesa, it's HL1 in the HL2 engine, Just cause 2 is fun to mess around in too, but it doesn't have a good story (all missions are kinda the same) and portal 1 is fun too.

Dust: An Elysian Tail
Trine 2
LIMBO
Half-Life 2

Just Cause 2 (What the hell, seriously, get to it.)

Spec Ops: The Line
Mirror's Edge
Medal of Honor
Portal