Embarrassing stories?

when i was younger...

Also in 9th grade, I was visiting a boyfriend during the weekend and my dad came to pick me up. While I was gone, my parents decided to surprise me with a cool new bed frame in my room. Of course, they had to take everything off my bed to put it together... and well, I used this fake plastic decorative fruit basket fuckin banana to schlick with and hid it in my pillow case and it fell out. ;__; when we got home I went to my room and was happy about the bed frame, completely oblivious. Dad is making sure the screws are tightened and it looks like he's humping my bed to check, so I say "stop humping my bed" and he goes "oh, I could SO say something right now but I'm not gonna!" then left the room... took me a few minutes and then I knew. :( I checked my pillow case and was mortified when nothing fell out. Couldn't ask for bananas from the grocery store for a couple years. I was too ashamed. AND THEY KEPT THE BANANA! God! I hate visiting my mom because the fruit basket is out on display and I feel like everyone is staring at it and thinking about what happened.

So I wake up yesterday and I turn on my pc so yeah, I start playing games for few hours and yeah it was cool, I was happy, good day.

I was playing outside with this girl once and I was trying to impress her, so I pulled my pants down and dropped a duke right in front of her. It also turns out she was my cousin. :(

So this one time, at band camp...

When I was about nine, the family were at my grandmothers house having dinner. My mother and sister were talking so much they never finished their plates, so I was getting impatient as I was going to help grandma with the dishes and I said "Could you stop talking and eat?! I am getting a boner here!" as I referred to my bones were aching from standing. They started laughing like crazy. >_< I had no idea what a boner was.

I escaped from Death Row and the firing squad hunted me down, when they brought me back all of the inmates made fun of me ;(

Shit my pants in high school as a freshman.

To be fair though, my parents kept things in the fridge way past expiration date without care so I essentially went to school that day with an inevitable diarrhea explosion...it was only a matter of when. Didn't help that my teacher was a bitch who kept telling me to sit down when I told her I needed to use the restroom and made me wait well over ten minutes until she finished her lecture to let me go which compounded the problem. She later apologized to me and said she didn't really know I actually needed to use the restroom and thought that I was only using it as an excuse to leave class. =.=

Well I just woke up, the door of my parent was open and I though my dad was gone for work, then when I go into the bedroom I saw them doing sex in a weird shape, they was doing it right in front of me but they didn't notice me (they were busy I guess) Then I realized. I kept thinking should I go downstairs quietly and pretend I didn't see anything or just (no wait, let's the fck off) and one of the dogs on the room is watching me going slowly out of the room and then he was barking me like crazy and I run away, my parent hear me while I was going into the first floor and they already knew so my father is trying to talk to me but I tell him "its ok, it was my fault" and we never speak about it again unless we are talking about embarrassing stories :d

I've got a Million of them. [Kudos to those that get the reference(s)]