There was once a man in a city, who cared for the pigeons. He cared for the pigeons so much that he took a watermelon, and climbed to the tallest building in the city. When he reached the rooftop, he looked over the edge, holding the watermelon high above his head, and declared in a booming voice, "The Simpsons isn't as good as it used to be!" And lo, he dropped the watermelon over the edge, and then a pigeon defecated on his shoulder.