Yesterday, in the peaceful town of Chrisland, Minnesota, John Brown, during a pizza delivery, was ambushed by a bear. But the bear wasn't interested in the meat itself but in something more sexual related. John did not react, with fear that would be eaten.
We have tried to talk with him, but at the moment he's too traumatized to talk.
The doctor that treated him said: "During the rape, he lost a huge amount of blood and the anus was almost destroyed. Even tough he will never be totally recovered, he's lucky to be alive."

Meanwhile a group of friends and hunters are searching for demoniac bear, seaking for revenge and protection.

His girlfriend, Anastacia Grills, and her female friends are also searching for the bear, but not with the same objective. "I can't believe he got all the pleasure for himself. So selfish."

Source

10 years ago*

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you mad ?

10 years ago
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Never ask that to a mad person. >:)

10 years ago
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Hard to resolve this puzzle :o

10 years ago
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Some of the answers you can just google it.
Most people played only 1st gen and still could made it.

10 years ago
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I bet your english teacher wants to kill you

10 years ago
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Believe me, I know English better than her. And it's not just me, others English teachers in my school were wondering how she made it.

10 years ago
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This is ten year old level humour.

10 years ago
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This story sounds like it came from a CoD player xD

10 years ago
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I'm not a Pokémon person

10 years ago
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Me neither, I'm a Trainer.

10 years ago
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here's a bear tip from a bear: never trust us

10 years ago
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LOL

10 years ago
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Useless thread... unless something is hidden?

10 years ago
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Deleted

This comment was deleted 1 year ago.

10 years ago
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Bump for solved! Thanks for the puzzle, it was nice. :)

10 years ago
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wut...

10 years ago
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i live in Chrisland, that is true

10 years ago
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I find your source dubious. This source completely disagrees with your story.

10 years ago
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There aren't many newspapers in the lost city of Chrisland. And most of then tell the story a bit different from every other :/

10 years ago
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We need more beary good funny articles like this.

Sauce(Source if you don't get the pun): Me.

10 years ago
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Bump for puzzle? what puzzle?

10 years ago
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Bump for solved, was a bit stuck at question 4 and 8.

10 years ago
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Hakuna Matata?

10 years ago
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Closed 10 years ago by Ruaben.