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Because I'm tired of getting catcalled and watching others in the street receive the same treatment, I decided to share some information with everyone in SG hoping that they can stop doing it and/or talk to their friends to make them reconsider their behavior.

Street harassment is unwanted and unwelcomed public attention, most often directed at women, which is demeaning and damaging. It’s not a private matter but one that should concern everyone.
If you have trouble empathising with strangers, then think about your mother, sister, or girlfriend. Would you enjoy watching people catcalling and telling them nasty things? How do you think they would feel about it?

On an average day I go out twice and I get at least one guaranteed catcall. On weekends or when I go out, for example to a club, it gets worse because groups of people feel more empowered to do so.

A few months ago I was walking with a friend and one guy said things and started to follow us. After a while it ended with me turning around and pepper-spraying his face, then running away in case he could fight back. This is the kind of violence it generates.
We had a rough rest of the day and were shaken up. I didn't enjoy doing that at all, but he had to be stopped. I also like to think the guy didn't enjoy it either.
So in the end, what did he achieve? Nothing.


Edit
OK, I'm gonna clear this up since some people like to assume things just to blame me for defending myself.

A few months ago I was walking with a friend and one guy said things...

For the backward people, this was in june when I wasn't wearing "provocative shorts and t-shirts" clothes. These are the "nice compliments" I got amongst others i don't even want to repeat here and/or I want to forget:

hey girl nice butt
does your friend wanna F with me too?
hey reply bitch
come here lesbos!
GONNA EAT YOUR ASS

...and started to follow us.

Walked one block with that guy which was 1 meter away from us. He wasn't shouting from the other side of the street, he wasn't half a block away, he wasn't sitting in the sidewalk. He was right behind us.

...After a while it ended with me turning around and pepper-spraying his face, then running away in case he could fight back...

He got warned to leave us alone during the whole 1-block fast-paced walk. I didn't stop to "discuss" because I'm not a 1.9 meters 120kg guy, so I'm not putting my friend and I at risk at 8:30pm in the street.

You read the "You're not alone" thread?
Well, most of the stuff that I shared about me is linked directly to an experience related to this, but I wasn't walking with a friend and there were two guys instead of one following me. You can guess what happened next since I wasn't able to defend myself.

But of course, street harassment is harmless and nothing else can go wrong, nor it can trigger unhappy memories from past experiences.
Think a bit before judging others so quickly assuming they overreact when they feel in danger.~


I know I probably won't convince anyone catcalling to stop by posting this (it doesn't hurt to try), but if your friends or co-workers do it, you can persuade or talk to them and see if they get it. There's nothing worse than being in a group of friends and allowing them to act like idiots.

It's disgusting and demeaning, stop it. You're hurting people with your actions and makes you look like a fool.


❤️️ FAQ, in case you're gonna post one of these comments I get all the time.

- But some women like to be catcalled!
Yes, there's also men that like to get hit in the face with a hammer. So using the same logic, I should go out and hit all men with a hammer in hopes they enjoy it?

- Don't be so sensitive, ignore it.
No, it reaches a point it can't be ignored. It's not an isolated issue once per month or in certain situations so you can avoid it. It also affects me a lot depending on my mood, so when you feel like crap and you get catcalled, things get worse.

- So you want others to come to your rescue when some stranger catcalls you? That will end up with me getting in a fight!
I'm not asking people to fight for me, just them to stop doing it, spread the word, and discourage people in their group of friends from being disrespectful.

- If you don't want to get catcalled, dress appropriately!
1: Don't blame the victim.
2: I dress as I please. It's my body, not someone else's.
3: It doesn't matter if it's winter and I'm wearing a jacket, or summer with shorts and a t-shirt. Some people will be idiots anyway and say things.

- I bet you like it when a handsome guy catcalls you!
Irrelevant. I expect respect from everyone.

- What about men? They also get harassed!
I'm very aware guys also get harassed by both men and women, but this thread is about girls. Feel free to create another thread for that issue, and I will support it.

- So this is just a misandrist rant!
It's not. If you feel targeted by anything I said, then it's not because you're a man, it's because you actions ressemble what it's said here.

- Meh, it could be worse.
It could be worse, but it SHOULD be better. Also, normalizing this behavior makes it even more painful for victims.

- Women also catcall!
I never said they don't, but for each woman that catcalls me, i get 500 guys. So the issue at hand is the one I shared.

- This thread offends me!
That tells a lot about you. Log off, take your time, and think about it.

- This thread is inappropriate for SG, please close and delete it!
Go tell that to all other threads about awareness, politics, religion, sports, disasters, etc.


💙 Some info and articles:

Stop Street Harassment
Wikipedia definition
Documenting women's stories of street harassment
Why we need to take street harassment seriously
Dutch woman faces down her catcallers by posting selfies with them

💚 Videos:

Au bout de la rue (Court-métrage) - france
10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman - usa
Woman is filmed walking London's streets for secret documentary - uk
Male actor dresses as woman to experience sexual harassment - egypt
Sons React to Their Moms Getting Catcalled - usa


Finished Giveaways By Ended (last month) 🔼🔼
Broken Sword 5 - the Serpent's Curse lv1 mully december 15
Panzer Corps lv1 mully december 15
Mercenary Kings: Reloaded Edition lv1 mully december 15
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Doodle Mafia lv1 mully december 15
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Beholder Lv3 Corran December 21
Sniper Elite V2 Lv3 Corran December 21
Resident Evil Revelations / Biohazard Revelations Lv3 Corran December 21
Evil Genius Lv1 HA December 25
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered Lv1 HA December 25
Quarantine Lv1 HA December 25
Tower 57 Lv1 HA December 25
Puzzle Chronicles Lv1 HA December 25
Yooka-Laylee Lv1 HA December 25
Surgeon Simulator Lv1 HA December 25
Operation Flashpoint: Red River Lv1 HA December 25
Streets of Rage Lv1 HA December 25
Stronghold Crusader 2 Lv1 HA December 25
SOMA Lv1 HA December 25
Cornerstone: The Song of Tyrim Lv1 HA December 25
Tick's Tales Lv1 HA December 25
Lost Civilization Lv1 HA December 25
Heroes & Legends: Conquerors of Kolhar Lv1 HA December 25
Cognition: An Erica Reed Thriller - Season One + OST Vol 1 Lv1 HA December 25
Quest for Infamy Lv1 HA December 25
Supreme League of Patriots Season Pass Lv1 HA December 25
Moebius: Empire Rising Lv1 HA December 25
The Last Door - Collector's Edition Lv1 HA December 25
The Last Door: Season 2 - Collector's Edition Lv1 HA December 25
The Story Goes On Lv1 Fluffster December 25
Super Splatters Lv1 pookysan December 26
Retool Lv 2 sgtools igel2005 December 26
Hearts of Iron Collection III Lv2 Harry December 26

💛 And some pictures:

View attached image.
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7 years ago*

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Capitalization is a waste of time

View Results
yes
No

Hell fucking yes, thank you for making this thread.

Street harassment is such an awful, creepy thing. Men have been taught that women are there for them, everywhere, all the time. Their desire to interact with you trumps your desire to be left to your own devices - and pushing back can be dangerous.

That's something I want more men to take away from this:

Pushing back or doing something other than 'heh. Thanks.....' and just taking it can be dangerous. I don't know if the guy who's leering at me on the subway platform is just a garden variety weirdo or if he's more dangerous. Those dudes just look like other dudes. I don't know what kind of dude someone is until, a lot of times, I'm put at risk. Please also look at Schrodinger's Rapist.

7 years ago*
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pushing back is risky because you don't know what kind of person you're dealing with.

but to repeat it, "you don't know what kind of person you're dealing with"... when you feel threatened.
if the situation arises, you have to react. this isn't a joke since it could end very bad for the victim, especially if she's alone at night. pepper-spraying someone's face isn't a fun thing to do, and shouldn't be done lightly, but what are the alternatives?

7 years ago
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7 years ago
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I'm glad I live in a society where catcalling is an absolute no-no. Catcalling a stranger equals immediate loss of respect from everyone around you (we are very private people; we don't even talk to strangers unless we have to). Actually, any kind of harassment means immediate loss of respect. It shows off your insecurities and your failure to interact with the people around you. It makes you look stupid and weak.

7 years ago
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do you think naked female in street is kida harassment to public ???

7 years ago
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Please elaborate

7 years ago
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plz

6 years ago
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I have so many friends who suffer through this. Thanks for posting.

7 years ago
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7 years ago
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Catcalling is gauche

7 years ago
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Leftist?

7 years ago
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Hhm. I'm totally ignorant about French, I didn't even realize the etymology extended from a word still having any contemporary usage as a homonym. Well, if it is a homonym; I'm not excatly sure whether it still counts across different languages.

(presumably you might just be joking around with the word's other applications, but, just in case anyone was confused, I meant the English usage: something tacky, crude, embarrassing, undignified)

7 years ago
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Yes, I was just joking.

I'm aware of the English meaning, just a bit surprised to see it, because it's like really old English, not something you easily see today.

Edit:

Adding a bit of context, for fun reading etc. pp. :)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gauche_caviar

7 years ago
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JUST

time to drop some red pills

Trans POV

wage gap

the world

interesting island scenario

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7 years ago*
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seems you missed #1 in the FAQ i posted.

7 years ago
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Wow, you start off right away by pretending speech == violence 👀
https://youtu.be/f7ifEqLN13A?t=6m47s (sadly the embedded player ignores the timestamp, it starts at 6 min 47 s)

7 years ago
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Concept creep

View attached image.
7 years ago
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Interesting stuff, thanks :)

7 years ago
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I just skimmed the text myself and there are likely better sources but this was one of the first hits I got searching for a related term

7 years ago
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way to miss the point, and the whole thread.

7 years ago
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I'm not missing the whole thread, but that particular point kind of casts a shadow on the rest of the thread. Can't really take a text wall seriously when a brick literally says "catcalling == punching".
Is catcalling lame? Yes, sure.
Is catcalling annoying? Yes, most of the time at least.
Is catcalling violence? Well, no.

7 years ago
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catcalling is an aggression, and sometimes it ends up in violence.

hey cute butt hehehe
HEY listen to me
YEAH SLUT GO AWAY YOUR UGLY!

that's not violent?

i'm being treated like an object because catcalling isn't a compliment, it's a way to sexualize me. i don't get comments like "nice jacket!" or "nice glasses!", the target is always me being turned into a piece of meat.

edited to be specific

7 years ago*
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that's not violent?

No, that's just very rude. Violence (or more specifically, threats of violence), would be like

Go away or I'll punch you

Also, even though they're lame and annoying, many catcallers are apparently more "friendly" than violent: http://mashable.com/2017/10/05/instagram-dear-catcallers/
https://www.instagram.com/dearcatcallers/
I'd say they above all have issues with the way they communicate their feelings...

7 years ago*
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It doesn't have to be physical violence (or the threat thereof) to qualify as "real" violence. I think catcalling is a form of verbal violence, calling it "very rude" and nothing more fails to capture the essence and severity of the act. Someone who catcalls is not just in breach of common conversational etiquette, they are engaging in deliberate intrusion and disturbance of someone else's emotional and mental wellbeing, much like unprovoked verbal assault. In fact, I would say that an unsolicited proposal to engage in sexual acts from a party that considers itself at an advantage physically or socially to an uninterested target is an expression of an inherently violent power dynamic. It is also obvious that catcalling often carries latent (if not explicit) threats of immediate or consequent physical violence, as we have seen from the examples in this thread alone. (It can also result in physical violence when the target feels threatened enough to initiate violence as a means of self-defence.)

So while I would concede there may be better analogies to catcalling than getting hit in the face with a hammer, that doesn't negate the fundamental concept or premise of catcalling being an inherently aggressive form of behaviour that is akin to verbal or mental violence. This is not about being just impolite or inadequate when it comes to expressing feelings (although lack of social or communication skills probably compounds the issue). Instead, I think this is, at its core, about power--or the way in which a catcaller wields it in a social context by assaulting a target in this manner and "getting away" with it.

7 years ago*
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It's abuse. Verbal abuse is the actual term for it. There's no such thing as "verbal violence".

7 years ago
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There's no such thing as "verbal violence".

There most certainly is. We're just not accustomed to calling it such. I'm aware verbal abuse is the more common term, but I chose "verbal violence" on purpose, as it is a more encompassing term and one I deemed fitting given the context.

7 years ago*
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They're trying to redefine what it is. "Verbal violence, most often also labeled verbal abuse," Speech can't be violence but it can definitely lead to violence. Such as inciting riots.

7 years ago
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I just want to leave a +1 for you DingDong2

7 years ago
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It's not an awkwardly impolite version of a compliment, it's an expression of dominance (with the implication that the target is in a position of submission and therefore without control) and sexual intent. If you have seen Deliverance, consider the power dynamic between the mountain men and the tourists

6 years ago
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feminist idea again you watch to much feminist videos .

7 years ago
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shut up, piece of human trash.

7 years ago
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go watch the videos you saying same shit they saying feminist

7 years ago
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all feminist are like you they say something when we call you them out they get angry lol

7 years ago
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Yeah you don't know what "feminist" means but nothing shocking there. A lot of boys don't. Then some of them grow up and stop acting like children

7 years ago
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Just a heads up - he's never going to see your reply. ;)

7 years ago
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lol well good. And thanks for the heads up

7 years ago
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I don't see a problem with her "missing it". The issue is deeper than that. Women in our society are raised to only value themselves if men find them attractive and even if the woman knows this, is a feminists and fights against misogyny, she can still unconsciously feel less worthy if she feels less attractive

7 years ago
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+1 Let's fight this together.

7 years ago
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Just what? These quotes are from the same article that's the source of the second part of the image:

From the time I was 11 or 12 years old – when I began taking the train to school – I’ve been on the receiving end of some of the worst things men say to girls and young women. There was the man in a business suit who told me to “take care of those titties for me”; the man who – when I was in seventh grade – masturbated in front of me on the subway platform near my home; the man who walked by me in the street, leaned in close, and whispered “I want to lick you” so close to my ear that I could feel his hot breath.

I wouldn’t trade my quiet morning walks for the hellishness of my teen years for anything.

Being harassed on the street is not a compliment, and it surely has never felt like one. For most, if not all women, it can be scary and sometimes dangerous to deal with.

These are points I've chosen to emphasize, but get this: they don't represent the point the author was making in the article, either. For that, go to the source and get the proper context. Don't trust that the confidence that someone shows in giving you a link means that the source actually backs up what they are saying - especially if that link's in an unclickable format. Please read the article and tell me if you honestly think Jessica Valenti wants you to catcall her on the street, or if the quote was dishonestly taken out of context to make you think that.

If something is important enough for you to quote, it's important enough for you to have read it in context to be sure you understand what the author meant. Or as RationalWiki puts it: "Quote mining is an informal fallacy and a fallacy of ambiguity, in that it removes context that is necessary to understand the mined quote."

7 years ago
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brush up on your internet memes.

7 years ago
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SG need a freaking upvote mechanism .

7 years ago
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there not gonna stop this man you should stop bothering maybe they will smother there own topics out also you bump it when you send this stuff sooo

7 years ago
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Thanks for the bump to help raise awareness! :D

7 years ago
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why did you reply that to mine just to be a dick or what?

7 years ago
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Yours was the last comment on the thread. :D

7 years ago
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7 years ago
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why are they all drunk?

7 years ago
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They are not drunk, they are clowns.

7 years ago
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Very confusing comic. Are those supposed to be examples of catcalling?

I found the hair compliment particularly hilarious though, possibly because I'm not a native English speaker. I'm reading the second line as she loves all his/her hairs individually

  • I love your hair
  • Thanks, I love yours too.
7 years ago
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My understanding of the comic is to show the difference of compliments and catcalling via the reaction of the girl/woman.
The first 4 are simple compliments, while the 5th reduces it to sexuality(is this the right word here!?) towards a stranger.

7 years ago
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Well, then I have to agree it's a perfect illustration of the problem. Catcalling does indeed seem to be determined by the reaction of the recipient. The first 4 could just as likely have been examples of catcalling if they had a negative reaction.

Edit: Maybe not the third, that would just be too odd for me to comprehend.

7 years ago
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No catcalling is not determined by the reaction of the recipient, it's just in this comic to show what catcalling actually is.
The first 4 are compliments(to your girlfriend, a person interacting with you, someone also drawing besides you and from a stranger, but in a nice way - even starting with an apology about bothering), while the last one is just shouting at someone passing by that their tits look good - which is rude..and also catcalling.

7 years ago
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So if we replace the text in the last example with "you're beautiful" or "hey, i love your hair" it wouldn't be an example of catcalling, in your opinion?

7 years ago
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Here it gets more complicated...but as a first short answer I would say "Yes".

Catcalling/Street harrassment is about sexually objectifying the stranger you are adressing.
And simply saying to someone that you love their hair or they are beautiful per se is a compliment.

The problem now with the comic is that the first 4 pics have a context.
Saying "You are beautiful" to your girlfriend is a compliment.
Saying "I love your hair" to a customer is a compliment.
Saying "your drawings are cute" to someone drawing with you is a compliment.
Walking up to someone browsing in a bookstore and politely saying "I'm sorry to bother you. I just wanted to say you look lovely." is a compliment.

The 5th picture has no context so its just randomly approaching someone and saying "I love your hair"/"You are beautiful" which would still be a compliment - though maybe kind of akward I'd say - and it still could be unwanted or perceived as insincere flattery.

7 years ago
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and it still could be unwanted or perceived as insincere flattery.

Yes, that's what I'm saying. Literally anything could be unwanted or perceived as insincere flattery

7 years ago
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I don't really get what you are saying here. :D

7 years ago
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I'm saying that any of those situations, besides the drawing one, could be considered harassment. You're just imagining a context where you don't

7 years ago
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Harassment is offensive behaviour.
Catcalling(sexually objectifying someone with a comment) someone is offensive behaviour.

Giving a compliment to a stranger is not offensive in nature.
That the person maybe doesn't like been given a compliment in the situation is another subject but that doesn't make it harassment in the first place.

7 years ago
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(sexually objectifying someone with a comment) someone is offensive behaviour.

I don't agree. It can be, but with my rose-tinted view of the world, I'd say more common that it's not.

Giving a compliment to a stranger is not offensive in nature.
That the person maybe doesn't like been given a compliment in the situation is another subject but that doesn't make it harassment in the first place.

We are in total agreement here.

Edit: We seem to be in disagreement with OP though, who seem to think any form of attention to strangers constitutes harassment

just don't give attention to strangers. you don't know how that person will react, you don't know what's going on in her life

7 years ago*
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It just illustrate part of the problem. This shows a woman who can easily take a compliment but that one guy with the offensive comment still tries to imply that she can't.

Some people who do catcall will reply with "Learn to take a compliment" when called out on it. In reality, it's harassment they're doing but they're oblivious to their own actions.

7 years ago
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This makes more sense. I have to wonder how common the last part is though. Seems awfully strange to me.

7 years ago
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I'm guessing (or at least hoping) that this kind of rudeness is the minority. I would never in a million year say a thing like that, but some people are just dicks.

7 years ago
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a very nice compliment ^^

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7 years ago
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a very nice compliment ^^

A compliment by a stranger, isn't this harassment? ;)

7 years ago
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Yes. It's even worse than small talk to strangers.

7 years ago
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I see this a lot when working for particular clients. It's one of the issues I'm paid to deal with.
You're absolutely right, it shouldn't be tolerated in any form.

Great thread, Mully, and worthwhile topic.

7 years ago
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Catcalling is a simplistic mating call from a bygone era. Those who do it are in turn simple minded fools, who equate themselves to neanderthals. I luckily don't see it that often, but when I do it saddens me to see my gender stoop so low.

7 years ago
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And the women who likes cat calling are what?

7 years ago
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simple minded fools, who equate themselves to neanderthals

7 years ago
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a] Very very lucky.
&
b] Can easily live without it.

7 years ago
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The bane of those who don't like it.

7 years ago
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Deleted

This comment was deleted 3 years ago.

6 years ago
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I only blacklist for two reasons - being overly rude (not to me, but to others) or making racist remarks on the forums.

There are only a handful of people on my blacklist who are permanent residents, so if what you say is true, chances are you won't be on there for long.

6 years ago
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Deleted

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6 years ago
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Sorry, I never edited my reply. I've already removed you on your word.

6 years ago
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6 years ago
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The worst is when people act like I should feel flattered when this happen because I'm overweight and far from conventionally attractive. Ugh. Thanks for making the thread!

7 years ago
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especially love the rapid 180 that always happens and suddenly it's "whatever you're fat/ugly anyway!" like...you knew what i looked like when you harassed me, i dont walk around wearing a mask, ready to rip it off when a man shows me the slightest sign of interest

7 years ago
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they are doing us a "favor"! <333

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7 years ago
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It's weird to me that idiots actually do this. It's also rude and disgusting mh

7 years ago
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It's good you made a awareness thread about it. I've never seen it happen untill recently. When I my wife got me a lesson in portraitphotography.
So I had a model to work with. We where in a Vineyard, with not so many people, but the amount of whistles, shouting things at her, was just horrible. She said it happens so often. She was used to it happen (that means it doesn't affect her work) It does affect herself though, because it is horrible that it happens and she can't go somewhere without it. I'm ashamed that they (the men) thought it was okay to do so.

7 years ago
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Living in the Nordic countries, it's kinda difficult to comprehend that catcalling exists in the first place. Only mentally disabled people, with the exception of a specific kind of drunk would ever do it.

A Spanish friend has to face it every day though, yet even in macho culture Spain, according to her it's mostly foreigners from north Africa and South America that do it. Doesn't mean the issue is any less serious though, of course.

7 years ago
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Here's some forum harassment:

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7 years ago
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You're absolutely right.. A very harassing bump.

7 years ago
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Bump for a great thread

7 years ago
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Happy cake day!

7 years ago
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It should be outlawed, with worse and worse punishments for repeat offenders. It's difficult to imagine that walking in the street can be such an unpleasant experience.

Also, that clip you linked from abcnews.com blurs the faces of those jerks. This ones gives a clearer impression of how bad it is.

7 years ago*
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I would agree except i've seen examples of men just saying 'Hello' to women and then being verbally / physically attacked in return, what is cat-calling to one person may be just being friendly to another (not in all cases obviously)

7 years ago*
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Outlawed? That sounds so soft :P
I think punishment for harrassing should be death penalty.

7 years ago
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When it's clear harassment, yes. It shouldn't be allowed. Defining what constitutes harassment won't be trivial, but that doesn't mean we should all just accept it as a fact of life.

7 years ago
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7 years ago
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Isn't harassment already illegal?

7 years ago
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Criminal, you can always get them on other things similar to harassment. If they're being loud and annoying, disorderly conduct. If they're being sexual, solicitation. People need to go to public places and call 911. If they try and stop it, they could be hit with another charge for interrupting a 911 call depending on state. If they're too afraid to call 911, they can try and fake check their phone to start a recording. If no proof, a report will be filed and they'll be taken off the street or disperse the situation.

Civil, not much to be done unless if something happens.

Speaking of illegal... OP's post had someone saying things and following them before pepper-spraying them. It's harassment, but not specifically threatening. So, without a recording of what was said, the post is an admission of guilt to assault.

7 years ago
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Thank you.

7 years ago
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This, this and one more time this. Anyone with half a brain will understand that you can't control what people are talking, but if it goes at least a bit into things forbidden by law then take matters into your own hands and call the police.

7 years ago
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What really messes with my head about catcalling is: just WHAT exactly do they do it for? To look cool in front of their friends? Every time I've had this happen to me (with the exception of one particularly awful time), it's been something barely understandable yelled from a car that is speeding away. At the very least, despite the fact that it was a thousand times scarier, the guy who followed me for a ways on his bike was clearly looking to get something out of said catcalling. But the ones who drive-by catcall? I'll never understand it.
Thank you for posting this, Mully. Even if it doesn't help much, it helps to get the word out there where you can.

7 years ago
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I was traveling with some co-workers back in time and we were driving in the street and at some moment we've spotted some girls and one friend started to mess with her and i asked him to stop, then he said "she likes, it's good for her self-esteem" and then i said, being ignored is good for your self-esteem? He stopped and apologized with her, she ignored again and she was in her right.

I think this is a place where this kind of message don't cause a lot of effect because mostly here are pretty polite about that, but we can be examples and repress people who does things like this.
I can't imagine the level of terror that a girl can experiment by each catcalling, but i know it's terrible to fell that powerless.

Girls, you are safe while uncle 'Chaz is around, i'm spreading my example since i was born.

7 years ago
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then think about your mother, sister, or girlfriend. Would you enjoy watching people catcalling and telling them nasty things? How do you think they would feel about it?

This is exactly what I've been taught and always comes to my mind when I see attractive women which makes me never want to harrass them.
I believe in karma. If you never harrass people and never have any intention to do so, believe me, you and your close ones will be safe as well.

7 years ago
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bump

7 years ago
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7 years ago
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?

7 years ago
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Just a quiet bump! :-)

Also, this.

7 years ago
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7 years ago*
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Thanks and bump

7 years ago
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Enjoy! :-)

7 years ago
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7 years ago
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It's this general level of apathy you have expressed that seems to be more and more common among people these days that allows this and other issues to continue to exist or even get worse. If these issues are never addressed, then of course things won't change. I'm not suggesting that things will change overnight on a global scale due to an awareness thread or even media coverage. But every individual made aware of such issues is able to affect things on an immediate, local scale just by spreading the word and discussing the issue with friends and family. Sure, there will likely be those who will shrug it off, but there is always the chance that someone else will take it to heart and may even spread the word themselves. Even a single person's changed perspective is a positive thing.

7 years ago
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7 years ago
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I'm not sure what your response has to do with this thread. I mean, yes, bullying is a form of harassment, but this thread is discussing a a form of sexual harassment. Any method dealing with confronting schoolyard bullies isn't really applicable here. And such methods don't always work even when applied to schoolyard bullying anyway.

7 years ago
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I'm sorry that happened to you

7 years ago
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Haven't noticed this was a serious issue before. I know it happens but I just didn't notice it happens so frequently.

I know I probably won't convince anyone catcalling to stop by posting this (it doesn't hurt to try), but if your friends or co-workers do it, you can persuade or talk to them and see if they get it.

Let's hope and believe people reading this thread, or generally using this site, don't catcall women, so yeah you won't need to stop anyone doing it by posting this. Well, as far as I know, only idiots do that. It's very hard to reason with idiots, they will take it offensive if you try to correct their stupid behavior.
Also, same kind of idiots randomly try to pick a fight with you in the street if you happen to be a guy instead of a girl.

7 years ago
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i even had friends that did it because they thought they were praising women. some understood how it felt to be catcalled, and i cut ties with the rest because i don't want to be around people like that.

people can change, but it requires them to put some effort into it, and feel empathy to others.
like i said in the OP, i don't expect someone doing it to change his mind, but if a person isn't aware of what he's doing this might make him reconsider his actions. ^^

7 years ago
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Hmm interesting, even your friends did it thinking they were actually doing something good and it happens so frequently O_o This might be something related to the culture in Latin America maybe. I was acquainted with some people doing that as well, I wouldn't call them "friends". They were a bunch of uneducated people and I think they did it as a group behavior, like showing off their manliness etc , I don't think they do it when they were alone. Even then I don't think they ever thought they were "praising women" while catcalling them lol :D

I hope the situation gets better for you Mully without having to change your way of life/dressing etc. Maybe girls/women should talk about how they deal with it. Is ignoring the best solution for such cases? But if they are one of those clueless guys thinking they are "praising women" they should immediately stop when they notice you are actually annoyed by it.

7 years ago
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yes, ignoring is the best in almost all cases (even if you get insulted), except when you get followed or there's physical contact.

7 years ago
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I think/hope people here on steamgifts are not thugs and don't go around catcalling women, but just in case have a bump!

BTW capitalization is important!! Especially when you're helping your uncle Jack off a horse!

7 years ago
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BTW capitalization is important!! Especially when you're helping your uncle Jack off a horse!

Classic!

7 years ago
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+1

But on a more serious note how dare you make me read that with my own two eyes

7 years ago
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I'm sorry, luckily the eyebleach squad is on its way to help!

:3

7 years ago
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Im sorry that this happened to you. Also for the record enjoying being hit with the hammer was a one time thing.

7 years ago
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Real men are feminists and we should all fight for equality.

A little suggestion to add to your links:
Crocodiles Project, a great webcomics which illustrates real stories about sexism and harassment.

7 years ago
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Real egalitarians wouldn't say "Real men...". Just be a good person and everything else falls in place. No need for feminism anymore in the developed world.

7 years ago
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+1

7 years ago
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I agree with that but would append "No real need for feminism anymore in the west, because the final obstacles are primarily culture related, and culture doesn't shift through protest, but exposure and individual values". Though thats just my opinion and I certainly wouldn't think less of a person for identifying as feminist. So long as a person isn't a douche and isn't prejudiced, it's all good. I'd love to actually stand with feminism but I can't get past the number of bad apples I see thanks to the information age. I'm dreading the day that even the term 'egalitarian' gets poisoned with the usual passive sexism / racism and enabling, heh.

It's tricky really, because obvious wrongs are easier to work at because they have nice big targets usually with huge cartoonish idiots piloting the policies behind them. Once things become a matter of culture, it's far harder to inspire positive change because you have to deal directly with the intellects (or lack thereof) of the public. There can be something of a major lag between the rational part of ourselves and our deeply held opinions, so you often need far more than simply being correct to actually change minds and hearts. With how charged things are, and how most forums tend to be like poisonous minefields, it's hard to really make any headway.

7 years ago
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There are still good feminists out there that allow it to be their passion without getting sucked into what is now the core politics surrounding feminism. Women's issues do still exist because women are not the same as men. That's why Men's issues also exist. But these "other" issues usually have nothing to do with equality so they can be separated from the traditional feminist rally for equality.

Where I live, men and women are already equal. In fact, women are better off because they still get more support in the courts and from the government/schools/charities, and last I saw, they even earned more when the appropriate factors were taken into account. They still retain many of their previous privileges from a bygone era, while having gained the same privileges of men. I won't say that there aren't still a few cultural issues - things like preconceptions or stereotypes - but they're really not too important anymore because any individual that works with even a little bit of effort can overcome these things easily. Nobody is shocked when they see a male nurse or day carer anymore. Nobody is shocked when there's a female mathematician or astronaut. These are regular things. But this is a bit of a tangent...

My point is that equality means considering two sides of the same coin. Men and women are different, but we're still part of one whole in my opinion. That's why egalitarianism seems a more appropriate description of equality than feminism, which was a movement that started out with the noble cause of empowering women; they attained all of their goals (where I live) and then continued to be used as a political tool.

On that point, egalitarianism will only be poisoned when someone tries to wield it for votes or money.

7 years ago
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7 years ago
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thanks for your support!

i didn't know about that croc thing, it's very interesting =3

View attached image.
7 years ago
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Closed 5 years ago by Mully.