Same question as the title for the lazy ones who don't feel like writing.
I've been tried online dating a number of times over the years (which I guess speaks to my lack of success), there are certain consistencies. A lot of paid sites are notorious for having fake profiles contact you to try and get you to pay for the site (so you can then respond).
If you're a woman, you'll get inundated with pictures of penises and guys with their shirts off, along with plenty of messages consisting of "hey gurl", "wanna fuck", or some combination of the two. Any genuine messages will likely be buried under this snowstorm of nonsense. This is more of a problem on free sites, rather than the paid ones, but at least they're messages from real people, albeit real dumb people.
If you're a guy, you'll be lucky if 1/20 messages gets a response. Which is also why a lot of guys give up on trying to create interesting or personalized first contact messages and reuse the same bits; or just resort the aforementioned "hey gurl, wanna fuck". Its just a numbers game, and eventually they'll get some kind of response.
While online dating should be a great means of meeting people (and rarely, it is), the problem is much like has been mentioned before: a disconnect both in perception of what people are selling and what they are seeking. Its like going to Cars.com, searching for Rolls-Royce, and entering a max price of $5,000.
It can be very discouraging, but from a social experiment perspective, it can also be quite interesting. I find the commonalities of the women's pictures rather hilarious. Duck faces, top down shots that end at the clevage, etc.
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Speaking of angles, I miss MySpace and its awesome XSS holes it did have. Oh I miss it.. :(
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It was smart a decade ago, but everyone knows that a top-down angle just means you're trying to either hide your gut or your penis. Either way, that's probably not the crackerjack prize he was expecting.
It reminds me of when I was car shopping last year. Sometimes, you'd find a car for a great price, but all of the pictures of the car would be from the same side, or only from the front, because the side you don't see is the one with the missing door/bumper/window.
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Thank you for the input. I acutally wonder if the "dick pics" and "hey gurl, wanna fuck" also happen if you are not very pretty.
It would be great, as it would filter out those who are not really interested in a relationship, but I guess that's just wishful thinking.
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What about an actual experiment, here you go: http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction-dating/cupid-on-trial-a-4-month-online-dating-experiment/
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Story time:
A couple of years ago, a friend of mine insisted that I create a profile along with her on "Plenty of Fish" (pof.com), the idea being that we could help each other with our respective profiles. Over the next couple of hours, I slaved away over my hot keyboard attempting to put together a suitably humorous and entertaining spiel about myself. She did the same, albeit in not quite as entertaining a fashion.
While she's in the process of typing up her "About Me" section, i.e. the section we were both putting the most time into, she's already receiving messages from people, based on nothing more than a username and standard demographic info.
"What's happening?" she says, "I haven't even uploaded a picture yet!"
I was yet to receive any messages, but based on my friend's experience, and now with my glorious profile 100% completed, surely it was simply a matter of time.
Over the next few days, my friend sat back and revelled in her apparent success. Sure, some messages didn't warrant much of a response but there was clear potential with others. She even agreed to meet up with one person on a date the following week. Meanwhile, I carried on as per usual, twiddled my thumbs and wondered when the first message was going to come through.
"Be more outgoing!" she implored, "Find someone that catches your eye and make the first move!"
"Absolutely not" I replied. "If I wait long enough, someone's bound to make first contact."
...and they did, several weeks later, after my friend had been on multiple dates with multiple people already. None of the messages went anywhere, but not to worry, at least something had caught their eye. Anyways, not long after that, she ended up in a relationship and I deleted my profile with the sum total of a few "X would like to meet you!" notifications and about ten messages from three ladies who were suitably intrigued by my silent and mysterious demeanour to briefly make conversation.
In conclusion, what I'm getting at is that if you're male and thinking about dipping your toes into the world of online dating, making the first move is pretty much a necessity. Every girl on there is getting inundated with messages from the moment they sign up, so make your message stand out (decent grammar, a sprinkling of humour and a complete absence of dick pics probably puts you in upper echelons immediately) and go for it. Otherwise, you'll end up completely lost in the mix.
P.S. Just to add, my reasoning for never making the first move wasn't borne out of overconfidence but rather because the whole internet dating thing feels a bit forced and unnatural. As someone else in this thread already said, it's lacking in spontaneity and.... well it's hard to explain properly but on reflection, it's not for me. And yes, two years later, I'm still single. :P
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I don't know, really. I know some people who have had positive experiences with them, and some who have had terrible experiences who now regret creating an account in them..
Personally, I don't care much for them. Not interested in dating at all, and I have some other projects in mind right now.
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Personally I'd prefer speed dates, and I was actually really close to signing up for one... until it turned out that I'll have to move to the UK in a week anyway, so screw it.
As far as online dating sites go, my friend registered a profile on a site for me without my knowledge, and almost even set up a few dates with some peeps out of a joke, but I found out about it in time and he stopped. Honestly, I'm not a fan of the online flirt game, especially if you have to take it to a personal meeting afterwards. The one thing that will determine wether a date is working or not the most is the whole "personal first impression" thing anyway, so I just see online dating as an unnecessary waste of time. Ah well, if you want to do it, who am I to hold you back, it works for a lot of people as you can see.
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I dont know, steamgifts have plenty of sexy girls to look at.
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They don't even work... or at least not for me. It's probably because I'm not a good looking guy but that's alright, I understand that physical attraction conquers all in this day and age. Honestly, I would love to have another girlfriend though... It's been like 4 years since my last one, she was also my first too.
Forever Alone~ ;__;
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Fake girls don't count. If you mean girls faking interest in games, I think something along the line of "I like playing PC games, XXX is a favourite of mine", where XXX is a game you like a lot and might be of interest to male gamers (I mean, Secret of the Magic Crystals may be a SteamGifts favourite, but it's not necessarily something which will tell most guys outside of SG that you're an interesting gamer). Mentioning a game would not only mark you as genuine but could open the way for conversation when you chat/talk/meet with a fellow gamer, and give the guy a better understanding of what you like.
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Online dating sites have their pros and cons like any other method. It is more superficial than regular, physical conversing with other but on the other hand, you meet more people and outside of your regular circles too. Usage experience, and tactics so to speak, differ greatly depending on your gender.
If you are female, you will be bombarded with messages. I recommend skipping the most awful ones like straight sex offers and such (unless that is what you are looking for) and at least try to have small conversation with the rest. Even if many of the first messages one receives are pretty meh, remember that it is not easy to make good first impression and contact. Person who was not spectacular in their first message might be quite interesting after couple more. It requires effort to reply to so many but this is the part where many females fail and then complain that they do not find anyone. Recommended photo is where you smile, face can be clearly seen and general body type is visible. Not too revealing clothing unless you desire more dick pictures. And do not be afraid to make the first contact if you find someone that interests you!
If you are male, things go quite differently. You are required to put much more effort into this. You are the one who makes the first contact so make your first impression count. Simple "hi" message does not cover as the woman receives couple dozen of those per day and yours will be skipped like the others. Put some content in the message, and if possible, try to make it so that it reveals you have read her profile. Don't be discouraged when you find that most will not reply. Reply rates are pretty abysmal and it is common - not just you. Recommend photo is close-up of your face or something that shows your activity (e.g. you with your hobby). No flexing or shirtless photos unless you are aiming for very specific female type. Reply does not mean that she wants to go date with you but at least she is interested.
I would not use sites that require money. If possible, use dating site of your own country, if any exists. Number of users is the key. The more there are, the better. For dates, I recommend simply going for cup of coffee or similar. Not too flashy but it does the job which is you get to meet the other person face to face. Don't let it dispirit you even if nothing comes out of that date. You likely have to go several before you find case where both parties want to meet again. Just have fun meeting new people and enjoy.
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I had a small amount of experience with them, wouldn't really recommend it, but if you are gonna, I'd say E Harmony or don't bother, it's expensive, but they take it seriously, you will at least meet someone, other ones, like Zoosk, are utter garbage that's just to scam people out of money, and the free ones, like Plenty of Fish, are full of literal prostitutes looking for Johns.
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OKcupid: If you're a girl you'll get spammed. If you're a handsome guy you'll get some messages. And if you're below average in appearance you will rarely get messages.
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I love online dating sites, but my wife keeps nagging me to stop using them.
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I'm permanently single, but not because I don't find any, but because I don't want anyone actually xD
If I happen to fall in love, I'm ok with it, but I'm not trying to force myself to find someone....and tbh it's not that hard for me, since I'm good looking and fit anyway :P (wasn't always like this though)
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well, i never needed one, but i heard that there is a huge amount of fake profiles.
see documentary here
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As the title states, I would like to know what do you think about online dating sites. I would like to hear your opinions and stories whether you had some experience with them or not. Or if anyone around you had any experience with them. Please note that I don't differ between paid and free dating sites, take it as a one general thing,
I know it's fun to troll or mess around in the forums, but I would like some serious answers. I also know these sites are very different around the world, but there's not much I can do about that.
As somebody will probably ask... The reason why I want to know is because I'm sick and tired of being alone and have basically zero chances to meet somebody, ever. I always thought about trying these dating sites, but have been sceptical, thinking it would be a waste of time.
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