Sounds to me like you got a grip on things. Is it a great place to be? No. Does it feel awesome? Also no.
But getting a grip on your own life, and taking some affirmative actions in it and for it - even when that hurts or sucks - is the beginning of a road that could lead to great and awesome things. So congratulations, you are now in charge and going with it. Where? Hopefully somewhere good.
But don't fool yourself, it is a fight, always a fight, and it's going to feel rough for a while. But eventually one day when you sit down to ponder how freaking hard everything is you'll realize you haven't thought that thought in a few hours. A bit further down the line in a few days. And then it'll turn into only thinking that at times when life throws bullshit your way - bullshit you have to deal with. But external bullshit - hard as it may be - is most often temporary, unlike the bullshit that comes from within, that is ever present, that is draining like nothing else, that hurts all the time.
So you keep that grip on things, you hold that chin high, and you do what you think you need to do to get to a great place.
And if that means leaving certain things behind because you need to; Well, drop 'em like a rock and go forward.
Good luck man!
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You speak like someone that learned everything it needs to and went well farther than me.
Also, a good motivational speaker, I see.
I still can't drop every rock I want to, I don't want to go completely bankrupt, so I have to endure some. But I do leave behind a lot of shit that life throws at me, now, without absorbing too much, without being scarred. I'm rapidly approaching that 90%-10% ratio of self-affirmation vs external affirmation that the books talk about.
Thank you for your speech. I feel like I could learn a lot from you and probably the people in your life do.
Merry Christmas. :)
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By reading your text, I can tell that you learned a lot more about life and about yourself than most people will ever do, you seem to have a lot of courage. I think you have quite a package of tools available now for the many years left in your life, it's sad that you had to suffer to acquire them but you did acquire them, congratulations.
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Thank you.
I do think I learned a lot about myself, what I don't think is that is more than anyone will ever learn. Or at least I hope so. H. Gardner theorized about multiple intelligences and I too like to think that our brain divides our competences.
But yeah, thank you and have a wonderful time. Merry christmas! :)
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Thank you! Know that your text is making me think about all the small things I'm avoiding or ignoring instead of acknowledging and adressing or fixing them, sometimes I feel like they are adding up but I keep moving on because I can.. hey I'm not sick, right? I think that's what I meant when I said that you have learned more than most people will ever do. You made a choice and you picked the difficult road to recovery, this is admirable, in particular at such a young age, it's a slow and bumpy road with slopes and detours, but there is no limit to how far it can lead you.
Merry Christmas to you as well and thanks for the GAs, I will join a few. :)
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I am very glad to her that you are feeling better. I had some problems recently and feel much better now too. Good luck with the future.
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I always read descriptions and landed here. Of course I also read the forum post, but it's always difficult to me to get through such more serious things as they affect me quite some and drag me down.
Anyways, I hope you'll do good and keep being out of that hole.
Don't worry about having "only old" games and not being around SteamGifts for long anymore.
Thank you for the giveaways.
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Don't be dragged down, it's a story of reconstruction and of hope. :)
I suffered, yeah, I'm not rich, yeah, but I did get my spirit rich, that is the most important thing at all, imo.
Also, come back soon, there are going to be more last-time GAs tomorrow. :)
And also, Merry Christmas!
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It's just because I can relate to that and unwillingly put too much empathy into that. I'm glad you could work through that. It's not so nice sticking in there, where feelings go numb, only seeing the nonsense of existence, and everything just dragging along.
I'll try to remember to check it out, thanks for the heads up.
I wish you a steady positive continuation into and through the next year.
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I wish you a happy holiday season, and a new year full of blessings. Take care.
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You have my deepest respect for taking control of your life back from toxic people and living it on your terms. It takes a lot of strength and courage climb out of a rut and learn how to cope with life. Kudos to your hard work and may the new year bring you even more happiness and prosperity with your musical endeavors!
Happy holidays, and thank you for sharing with us! ๐ ๐
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Awesome to hear you've won with all this! I wish you all the best!
I wish I could win with depression as well :(
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Hello,
It's been a while.
I've been mentally sick. I've been good. I've been through all kinds of emotions in these 3 years. Lots of sweat and tears, lots of fights, lots of therapy hours. LOTS of fatigue.
But I did heal (let's say so) by no loger going to therapy, fighting with the girl I was going out with and deciding to "switch off" all emotions. I did actually recover my personaity, that is indeed what books and experts consider to be the last thing you get back while recovering from depression.
Now I'm kind of living my life in a happy-go-lucky state, resolving my problems as they come, doing what I want with what I have.
I did get in touch with my inner self well more, which was the purpose of this 3yo trip inside my head and shaved away most of the superficialty that I earned by doing jack shit of my life for 26 years, so "I got that going for me" as said by Bill Murray. Hopefully starting to release PC produced music by the end of 2022. Not going to self-promote. Not even if asked.
I don't expect anyone to remember me, I've never been a huge contributor wordswise. But I did pass my days on this site in the good ol' days and I do have fond memories of this (once) wholesome community (that hopefully keeps being as wholesome).
I've gotten kinda broke ultimately, since moving alone and getting screwed by the landlord of my former apartment, last year. I AM recovering, but I won't be doing many christmas RL gifts, so...
Kinda felt the need to give something to the world, so I decided, since I drastically reduced my playing time, to give away everything still in my Humble account. I'll most likely be gone after delivering all, next Christmas night, realistically speaking. Sorry about that. Not a fan of goodbyes, but I am a fan of realistic speeches.
Most of what you'll find are old games. Well, maybe all of what you'll find. But hopefully you'll find something you like.
Enjoy and Merry Christmas.
The following GAs are going to be private.
Street Fighter V
Dirt Rally 2.0
Shadow of War
Two-Point Hospital
Okami HD
Frostpunk
F1 2019 (looks like this one is the anniversary edition, but unsure.)
Battle Chasers : Nightwar
Turok
The following won't.
Dirt Rally 2 Porsche 911 DLC
Dirt Rally 2 Opel Manta 400 DLC
Dirt Rally 2 H2 RWD DLC
Whispers of a Machine
Trailmakers
Them's Fighting Herds
SHENZHEN I/O
Project Warlock
Book of Demons
Cryofall
Eliza
Night Call
Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor
SIMULACRA
Frostpunk The Rifts DLC
Exapunks
AI WAR 2
COD: WWII
NEW BATCH OF GAs (Ending Jan 1st 2022 00:00):
Invite Only:
Sonic Mania
Sonic Mania (2nd GA, sorry, I just discovered I had 2 keys)
God's Trigger
Guacamelee! 2
Crazy Taxi
Surgeon Simulator (Anniversary Ed. Content)
GRID 2 (Read description before entering the GA)
Metal Gear V GZ
Metal Gear V TPP
Cities: Skylines + after dark
For all:
SYNTHETIK
Evergarden
11-11 Memories Retold
BATTLETECH
BATTLETECH - Flashpoint
BATTLETECH - Shadow Hawk Pack
The Spiral Scouts
Planet Alpha
Override: Mech City Brawl
Puss!
Avernum 3: Ruined World
Squad (Apparently from the Early Access Era in 2019)
MOTHERGUNSHIP
State of Mind
Hover
Binary domain
Streets of Rage
OlliOlli2
Alpha Protocol
Stronghold Crusader 2
Operation Flashpoint: Red River
Zombie Army Trilogy
Immortal Redneck
Purrfect Date
Neurovoider
Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
Asdivine Hearts
Knights of Pen & Paper +1 Ed.
Full list coming soon... There a lot more stuff, updating in the next days. Enjoy.
EDIT: Thank you all for all the kind words. I can see how this community still kept being the most wholesome place where the sun doesn't reach. It warms my heart, it's hard to see something actually remain the same after all the changing in the world, it makes me want to reply to all and consume all my time (which I don't have enough, so I'll have to skip doing that)
Still updating, tho, the GAs are not finished. If I don't finish in time I'll consider doing a second branch as a Happy New Year event.
You'll see a cat tax when I'm truly finished.
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