I won, so you can too! (Ended)

The joke... the joke is to loose in giveaway with 5 copies and 6 entries...

http://puu.sh/jEis3/b06b4515c9.jpg

"Anyone know any good jokes?"

...

"YOU! HA GOTEM!"

That was an actual conversation I had earlier...

So... Here's one.

What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone?

A Golden Receiver!

Or...

Why does eevee like rocks?

So it can eevolve!

Just strolling by:

Games are far more awesome than real life

View attached image.

Why did everybody want to party with the mushroom? Because he was a fungi

Little Johnny's father asked for report card.

Johnny replied, "I don't have it."

"Why not?" His father asked.

"My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

What do you say when you can't come up with a joke?

The Bathroom is on the Left

Alright, so here's The Funniest Joke In The World according to a.... Wkipedia (sic!):
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

A cop stopped a guy for speeding.

He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"I was trying to keep up with traffic," he replied.

He said, "There is no traffic."

And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."

I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people – but none of them work.

I just recently translated some jokes from spanish to english to make laugh a friend so I hope they come in handy!

From lightest to offensive:

1. A boy in school asks his teacher:
   -Mrs., would you punish me for something I didn't do?
   -Of course not!
   -Perfect, because I didn't do my homework.
2. Your mom is so ugly that when she went into an Ugly Contest they rejected her because they didn't accept professionals
3. A boy asks his father:
   -Dad, what's the meaning of the word "virtually"
   -Well son, go ask your mother if she would agree to sleep with the neighbor in exchange for a million USD/Euros/etc.
   boys goes and comes back
   -She said that wouldn't be correct, but she would because that's a lot of money.
   -Ok son, now go ask the same thing to your sister.
   boys goes and comes back
   -She said she would do it in a heartbeat so she can go live by herself.
   -Ok son, you see, virtually we have 2 million USD/Euros/etc, but in reality we are living with a pair of whores.

Hope you liked at least 1 of them!

The jokes on you did not know there was I whitelist function then maybe I should add you to my blacklist!!! No I am just kidding=> My blacklist is reserved for very very bad people!!

You know what that was? The punchline.

I wanted to write this down, but apparently we are limited to 10,000 characters here. So have a link instead:

The longest joke in the world

(Btw, I saw this thread when it was first posted and had 0 comments and even 0 votes in the poll. So why did it take me so long to reply...?

...I didn't want to post a joke I hadn't fully read :p - it's actually kind of funny too)

Everyone says my jokes are lame so I'm not even going to try! :)

What's large, black and steals your credit cards?

Sony Playstation 4

i hope you understand this one HAHAHAHAH

View attached image.

"Hope we don't get stopped by the cops. They don't like it when you're rat arsed"

I have friends.

Since you are Hungarian, you would understand this... :)
"Ne higgyünk el mindent, amit az Interneten olvashatunk." (Petőfi Sándor)

I won the game recently (so not in, obviously), but here is a funny screen I took from the game itself (see attached.)

This game is a lot of fun XD

View attached image.

One day I was walking down the street with my friend. We then saw a black guy passing by us holding an orange stereo. I started to worry because I knew I was the only one around those parts that had one like that, so we decided to go back to my house. Luckily when we got there, mine was washing my car.