Um ... I lost my job cus i told my boss i have a crush on her.
I guess that counts as a massive screw up :?
As in general , im kind of a dick i guess ?
I dont really like people to be fair , and i can be brutally honest most of the times , which resulted in some pretty nasty situations on multiple occasions .
But thats me , so ppl either deal with it and accept it , or move on :)
Comment has been collapsed.
While psychologists speculate that self-sabotaging behaviors could be coping mechanisms (e.g. for stress, pressure, social demands etc.), others consider self-destructive behavior as ways of maintaining comfort zones due to lack of confidence or feelings of unworthiness (e.g. staying at the familiar bottom of the social ladder).
Comment has been collapsed.
One has to experience it to understand it I guess?
And in case of Sa6peto, I have heard that love is irrational.
Comment has been collapsed.
Well, I can't understand the things people in love/relationship do.. I have never experienced it so i am guessing that is why I don't know. (I have experienced love in the form of family and friendship though :D). I had to google what INTP is
I don't know how people manage to not regret the past decisions. I know they say you'd be happier if you ignore the past and move on. Maybe it's easier to do so if they are small and/or occasional.. But repeatedly doing the wrong things (and realizing later that I shouldn't have done so) I don't know, makes me believe it's beyong repair. I am sure people would say "It's never too late" I don't get that either.. If it's not at that moment, it is always late. I don't understand how people manage to do so many things, it may be trivial or something pretty big but there are so many thigns beyond my understanding.
I think I have written some nonsense, I am not sure if I should remove it or let it be. Whether I let it stay or not, I would regret the decision.
My guilt.. it's weird.. I feel guilty for everything that I do which did not result to a good result. Even for multiplayer games, mistakes in the game itself make me feel guilty, In the end I stop playign the game so that I don't have to feel more guilt than I already do.
I don't think I have managed to say what I wanted to.. maybe if I write in one line.
TL;DR: I don't understand it myself, sorry :/
Edit: Also, I am not sure what I have is depression, I feel it's just a fancy word (in my case) that people can understand becaused there is no way I can explain what I am feeling... Maybe that's what words are for... I am just a weird person... in everything.
Comment has been collapsed.
Sorry, I meant to say something you don't have on your mind, not forget entirely. I don't mean to say it's a bad thing though. It's what everyone says you should (be able to) do.
I understand what you mean. I do think everything during the time of some decision (somehow) but my day to day life is not so. I am not even sure what the root of the problem is, it's all jumbled up.. It's like everything is somehow linked to something else... I sort of gave up. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Comment has been collapsed.
So you never self convinced you're not appropriate for a job/position or asking someone to start a relationship with you? Arguing with yourself with positive and negative points but giving more credit/ rating to the cons? Congratulations!
I voted the winning answer, I'm superb at self destroying.
Comment has been collapsed.
I analyse it as you do. But end giving more score to the negative points.
Why? I don't have an answer, there's the problem. Apparently it's related to don't want changes/ being out of comfort zone, as someone pointed.
Still currently dwfeated it, I'm gonna write an introduction and attach my CV to attempt to get a job I'm interested in, although I don't have experience in some of the tasks and I'm not expert on the rest. But I think I'm still a valid candidate who can end doing them well soon. That sounds as a minor victory against my destructive tendency.
Comment has been collapsed.
Awww, thanks for the replies on the topic, keep bringing rational answers and help wherever you see mad people. <3
For my part I will keep my internal struggles. I'm aware of my self sabotage. So I try to fight it. Probably is better to just write pros and cons and wring probabilities of happening or points. On a paper I can't self select/ignore. I always thought that hadn't sense, but on a mind as mine, may have.
Comment has been collapsed.
the point I was trying to make is people don't comprehend the odds, or they don't know the real situation, or there are other factors that people don't get; so they take steps like buying a lotto ticket, asking the wrong type of person out, following tv advice, etc. thinking it will improve things when really it will most likely make things worse.
Comment has been collapsed.
thinking doesn't help if the mind doesn't have the right information to work with.
on suicide tv probably just told them they would die...
they didn't tell them they might live with a shattered body, or how long it really takes for the brain to shut down and stop receiving pain signals even if "successful"
they haven't shown them vids of people chopped in half crawling along on their hands
they haven't told them that people that die of cyanide experience cramps such that they contort the body and break bones, and those in gas chambers are strapped down not to prevent escape but so the audience doesn't see the gruesome truth.
they don't know paralytics are a slow hell worse than drowning.
tv lies about death to avoid traumatizing survivors, but it paints a rosy picture of escape for those that don't know better.
Comment has been collapsed.
I concede that thinking can potentially help especially combined with logic and common sense.
But I still think there is a lot of uncommon knowledge that is either difficult to uncover or that a person would never think to uncover.
Take the pre-airbag days when people could sometimes be impaled on steering columns, to save families trauma doctors would say the person died instantly and technically, legally they were right since legally no heartbeat = no life, they just failed to mention that the victim kept experiencing things for a duration similar to holding one's breath.
So someone looking for "instant death" might stop there without knowing to look deeper.
On relationships a guy may ask for advice, but if their male relatives died when they were young then they will get the wrong advice from their female relatives because the social equation works out differently for females than it does males.
Teachers can't give honest advice because they will lose their jobs if they do.
Comment has been collapsed.
Self sabotage is actually very common.
I know I have indulged in that particular emotion myself sometimes.
Most of the times, people rationalize why they did something, but deep down they are aware that it was simply a way of self sabotaging.
Sorry, I dont have any examples for you, but I just wanted to point out that it does happen. I have seen people destroy their own stuff, and when you ask them, their answer would be along the lines of "Just felt like it".
Comment has been collapsed.
"I'm curious how many of you will vote on the poll and not post a response pretending you never entered this thread"
How is voting on the poll and not posting a response bad?
Comment has been collapsed.
What if someone just wants to read the different views in the discussion yet would rather not draw attention to themselves? Because they're shy, just don't like writing in forums etc. How is that bad?
Some people just don't say much (in RL for example) because discussions can be noisy. Yet their opinion in a vote is still valid.
Rereading your introduction, I wouldn't be surprised if some people are put off contributing by your aggressive tone.
Comment has been collapsed.
I guess sometimes when I don't feel motivated, but know I should work on something. I am perfectly capable of just starting, but I just don't do it. Until I start feeling the deadline crawl closer (unless I work with others, than responsibility overrules any lack of motivation) ;)
Also in some instances being too humble/not displaying in person my best. It is a kind of a odd thing of me, probably because I don't like putting myself forward and taking "center stage", feeling like I am bragging about myself. But that still does not mean I can not just show the best of myself. Sometimes it is important to sell yourself, even if it isn't something you enjoy.
Oh well. You either try to do different or struggle with it. Such is life ^^
Comment has been collapsed.
So, since you want serious responses, I thought I might share some thoughts from philosophy I've read that seem useful. Hope you don't mind.
There's this very old idea in philosophy that a big goal is making yourself the type of person who isn't turned against themself. For example, Aristotle remarks that the person who lacks virtue doesn't just have trouble being friends with other people, he can't even be his own friend. In essence, to use your wording, he'll screw himself over.
The thought was that some people are internally divided: their beliefs and desires don't all fit together. For instance they might want to be healthy, but also strongly desire to eat lots of unhealthy food, and additionally believe that health requires not doing that. Or, in a case taken from modern psychology, we might know that if we wait to enjoy something we'll get a better result, but part of us doesn't want to wait (though part does). This may lead us to sabotage our own best outcome. Together, those things lead to internal conflicts. And those are just a couple of examples. A lot of philosophers would suggest that most of us are somewhat internally divided, and many of us are VERY internally divided. We fight our own interests all over the place. It's not necessarily because screwing ourselves is itself a goal, or even something part of us wants, it's just that such a disunited person invariably contradicts and gets in the way of their own better intentions.
This is where the idea of integrity comes from. Now we casually use 'integrity' to mean being a good and upright sort of person. But originally the word came from one that described structure not morals, it meant whole, complete, or sound (it's the same root we get 'integration' and 'integral' from). The idea was that to really be a good person, one needed to become sound and whole and stop being internally divided. Ethicists still use 'integrity' that way to mean getting all the desires and whatnot to work together and be united. Many ethicists still think this a major ethical goal. And most agree it's damn hard to do.
Comment has been collapsed.
Simple...
My depression/addiction/psychological disorder is/are doing a good job at destroying my life.I might need help I don't want help
My life is series of bad decisions I have taken. I am totally responsible for everything that is wrong with my life.
The regrets/guilt don't make it any better either.
Not sure if that fits the topic though.
Comment has been collapsed.
When i was in high school a friend of mine told me that i am "talking too much" after one of my jokes went wrong and hurt someone. I didn't understand what she meant that time but now i do i guess. I am doing things a bit extreme if i let it go. After realizing that i am more careful and controlled about what i do or say.
Edit: Oh i didn't mention about answer while trying to write :p I am getting a hang of it so "i am fine now" option is good for me.
Comment has been collapsed.
Poe fans would probably call this The Imp of the Perverse... :)
Hmm, I keep trying to make giveaways for people who read giveaway descriptions, but they keep not reading, does that count? :)
I was going to put a Dark Souls giveaway in here, but decided not to bother. Don't know if that counts as victory or defeat... :(
Comment has been collapsed.
Aha, I did not enjoy that place the first time through, but now it's a lot more fun... :) Always thinking I've missed some useless piece of loot, though... :)
Comment has been collapsed.
Well right now it's 50/50 but it could be better, I'm someone who likes to laugh out of almost everything and that sometimes doesn't really work the way I'd want it to. I don't really have friends with who I could talk about serious issues and stuff that I don't want some random person to know. I spend most of my days at home since I don't have what to do. I made some really fucked up decisions in life, it could probably be so much better. Also being a person that takes everything to heart isn't really good either, I can spend hours thinking about 1 word said by another person. Overall I think that I'm a horrible person and all the fuck ups that ever happened for me are my own fault.
Comment has been collapsed.
I think I'm always the lame one, so I'll stick with the poll only.
Comment has been collapsed.
Being undecided, overworried and procrastinating stupidly. I used to to be scared of trying new things but that's past me.
Comment has been collapsed.
Paranoia: I don't hear well, partially from working around loud machines partially because I have difficulty filtering human voices from background noise, so I can only hear someone if they are the loudest noise. I used to ignore conversations that didn't involve me, the privacy, don't snoop thing we are taught as kids. Much later in life I started trying to make out ambient conversation to better understand people. I noticed that people tend to raise their voices when speaking negatively, and conversation of normal people has a lot of casual references to murder and mayhem. Sometimes there is context, like the radio going on about a kidnapper, murderer, etc. and co-workers responding what they would do, or exaggeration of personal difference. Most of the time though there is zero context, like one time a co-worker raised their voice for part where they described calling an animal over then shooting it in the head; I can only guess it was about euthanizeing an injured animal because the people he was talking to didn't respond negatively.
So with all that negative input going into the subconscious it's not surprising one can get a paranoid vibe;
also when talking be careful about what you emphasize loudly because that stuff carries and lacks context.
Comment has been collapsed.
I chose "I would be fine if I was born in the right place at the right time". I would prefer to be born somewhere else, because I think I'm different from most people in my country. I'm also afraid of the future and, specifically, the moment when I get a steady job, because I hate routine. I hate doing the same thing over and over again. Other than that, I'm pretty content with my life. I hate some moments when I didn't take some easy risks, but nevermind, c'est la vie.
Comment has been collapsed.
Can be sad but: "At some point I learned to accept my self-destructive nature, now I don't even think there would be something left of me if it was taken away."
But we can't change the life/society, so thats it.
Comment has been collapsed.
I don't really blame myself in whatever my life is. I mean sure, in my youth when I was dumb and inexperienced, I sometimes fucked up some stuff, but whatever fucks up in present is not really my fault, it's like 50:50 other people being dicks or my mental issues just making me unable to be what the society expects me to be.
Chose the mental issues option in poll.
Comment has been collapsed.
The world is fucked up, and I am born of this world. Is it any wonder that I am also fucked up.
Comment has been collapsed.
I like to think that I managed to not fuck that up in a parallel universe somewhere. That mindset alone and my crazy amusement with it are the only reasons I haven't killed myself.
Comment has been collapsed.
I get easily depressed and sabotage myself unconsciously, I know this and accepted this, but I also seek help when it gets out of control and try to not spiral into a deep depression.
Currently I have the politic of openly accepting my problems instead of hiding them and it helps.
On the other side I don't tend to find stuff in life to be that hard, if I wasn't so lazy I'd probably be a very successful guy. I always think that life loves to be ironic, making things relatively easy for the people that are extremely lazy.
Just go on with your life, try not to think about it and just focus on the things you like. Remember that you're living for yourself and only you. (yes, even when you're doing things for other people you're doing it because it makes you feel good about yourself)
Comment has been collapsed.
Comment has been collapsed.