As the title is a rather odd one, I thought I'd share a story about my "uncle" as of recent times. (My first "unsure" giveaway and for that I apologize. I assume this key is working but if not I hope entrants are willing to shrug it off and comply with deletion. :c)

I live on a ranch/farm and do odd jobs on the property for room and board so it's not unusual to be asked to do a ride along into town for an errand or what have you. I was asked if I could help acquire a ladder from an old property we used to own but is now in possession of my "uncle." He was informed that we were headed over there to acquire the item in question the night before and was given the green light to come and retrieve it in the morning. We get there, the damn thing is nowhere to be found. We call and he says he's on his way there, "...be there in 10 minutes." I've lived on this property before and have always enjoyed the scenery so I was doing my usual sight seeing as I know every square inch of that land. Unbeknown to me there was a tenant in the main house so when approaching near it I heard a dog bark from the inside and was informed that there is in fact someone in there, probably sleeping though perhaps not now. Tenant comes out looking rather distressed and clearly at our presence. (We're literally parked out in the open, standing in plain sight just waiting for my "uncle.") He begins the basic line of questioning despite directly addressing the other person I was accompanying by name. We informed them that the landlord knew we were there, what we were there for, and that there's no need for alarm, "uncle" is on his way anyway. He's rather skittish so he whips out his phone and calls "uncle" to confirm I suppose. (He went through the trouble of describing what I was wearing to my "uncle"... as if that has any relevance to the situation. I'm 6' 4" and broad so it's entirely understandable, but come on... "he's wearing a hooded something!") Tenant saunters back into his home, periodically coming back out to visually check on us from behind foliage... too bad it's really easy to see through light brush. About 30 minutes pass and we're tired of waiting and have long since assumed this is about to be more stupid and potentially complicated than picking up a freaking ladder should ever have to be... we were half right. We get in the vehicle and decide to head out, enough is enough and it's not worth it. We start pulling out the medium length, single spaced driveway and here's tenant in his vehicle "attempting to block us?" I say this because we very casually just drove down the path and about 2 car lengths before we would have met him, he started backing up and out of the way, letting us pass... it was strange... it's not like we were charging his car at 5mph. We get about half-way down the driveway and here comes "uncle" with a county sheriff following suit. (No siren/lights, seems less stupid that it could be so far.) The sheriff takes the lead at the turn into the path and we're obviously stopped for inquiry. He asks us who we are, why we're there, if we have any prior trouble on record he should know about, the works. The situation was explained basically in full as it is here and at this point "uncle" is now in the conversation spouting blatant bull shit as if he has no idea who the person I was with was directly. (She was married to his brother's son and the two have been doing business for years... puh-lease... he also flat out didn't recognize me but more on that later.) The officer inquires about the item we came to get and we inform him that we don't even have the damn thing, to which he finally realizes just how pointless this is. He then informs us that we shouldn't stay nor come back at my "uncle's" request or things might become more serious, we agree and relent that we were headed out anyway. The conversation wraps up and I swear to God, my "uncle hits the officer with a, "Hey thanks, you know what, let me buy you a beer.", as he pulls out a wad of cash and starts to pull some out! The officer instantly, hand up in denial, starts shaking his head saying, "No-no-no-no, you can't do that." I fucking died inside laughing. This guy just tried to bribe an officer of the law, in uniform, on duty... "Uncle" returns to his vehicle after being denied by the officer and remains in there for the duration. The officer then comes back over and breaks a little by asking us "Is he always like that?" THE OFFICER READ HIM AND UNDERSTOOD OUR PLIGHT! SO GOOD! He was in our corner but obviously had to follow in accordance with the law, which both are appreciated for sure. We gave the officer our thanks and went on our merry way. After that nice bit of stupidity, we went for coffee and everything was just fine. A few days later my "grandfather" is on the phone with "uncle" talking about it and I cheekily ask him to inquire if he know who the gentlemen was that day, he admitted to having no idea. He then tells him it was me which prompts him handing over the phone. I chit chatted, laughed about it a bit, and let him feel stupid for a bit. Was a rather eventful morning.

TL;DR, My "uncle" by proxy not blood, called the cops on me and another person for little to no reason, and he didn't even know it was me.