List something a gamer would never say

I love using the family timer on my Xbox to force limiting on my playtime so that no matter how sucked into a game I get, I always keep gaming in moderation and have time each evening to eat all of my vegetables at dinner, have a shower, brush and floss my teeth, iron my clothes and pack a healthy lunch for the next day while also fitting in 8-10 hours of sleep.

EA and Activision would make the best shooter ever.

"The way you constantly sit there aiming your weapon at that one narrow doorway is the most skillful way I've ever seen anyone play a game. Well played my good fellow. May I nominate you for 'Best Player of the Year' on our game's forum?'

"With respect to the cancellation of the second annual Diretide Halloween celebration tournament I as an honorable member of the DOTA 2 fanbase sincerely ask you dear Valve to reconsider this cancellation. I would be eternally grateful if you somehow managed to actually deliver the expected Diretide contents within a reasonable timeframe, preferably while Halloween hasn't passed for too long as it would provide that kind of immersion we're used to receive from our most beloved gaming company."

vs.

“༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ Volvo, gif DIRETIDE!!1”

Game sucks...

"I'm gonna play each and every single bundle game I've ever bought!"

A (real) gamer would never say:

• YOLO
• swag
• cod is a good game.
• games are so cheap, just roughly 40-60$ (big games).
• it's awesome that you would need to buy the whole game again if it sucks on a console.
• wii is a powerful console.
• I played 2 hours today I got to stop.
• It's awesome that you can shout so great in the game as a 10 year old kid.
• My internet is so fast I wish it was slower.
• Oh there is the Xth addon for this game and it's just 30$ !! Wow cheap! I need to get it because I get 1 new class and 3 new quests!
• Pay2Win people are the best players around.

Ok thats some for now :)

Hoes before games

"I think I've played enough for one day"

STEAM CHRISTMAS SALEOh...let me finish all the games I have in my library before I buy more XD

"Come on Ashley, let's go see the lady with the chainsaw together."

Well... "I am not a gamer" I suppose would be the best response I can think of. Everything else suffers from the 'no true Scotsman' fallacy. I know, I'm no fun.

"Alright Zelda let's go rescue the princess!"

I respect your mom. Now, let's go play outside.

I'm so happy with my new game that I don't even care about what gsmes are coming out next month.

This new Mac Pro my parents mortgaged the house for is the best gaming computer ever! YOLO, SWAG!

"I respect your opinion even though I think that a game/console of your choice is a complete shit and a waste of time and I will not try to force anything on you."

Especially on the internet.

"I've started playing Half Life 3 a few moments ago!!!11"

"I love Lag"

"League of Legends is better than Dota"

Zelda should stop rescuing the princess.
I bet Samus is a hawt guy.

Now that I have world of Warcraft I think I shall play as an alliance...

Vi...deo games...? Is that the VCR that kids plug remotes and press buttons to change channels?

Half Life is awful.