ummm, funniest quote by dec 29th gets a free copy of a game. . . In liken to thier quote.

"What's the point in having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'll never have yourself?" -Randal Graves

So you think you had a hard childhood? Well, screw you, it's got nothing on mine. My mom practically kicked my ass out of the house before I even hit 13, and I never even met my dad. My friend 'till I was 10 was the prick next door who was always beating the crap out of me and telling me I wasn't worth dirt. It's not like I even had a choice, the town had something like nine people living in it. My entire adolescence was just moving around from place to place trying to get along with people who didn't even want me.

You think that's the worst? My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or something, who only kept me around because he thought I could help him get laid. The only perk was that I also got to hang around with this cute ginger chick, although she was pretty crazy. She loved hitting me and telling me how she loved to get wet.

But dear god, the bane of my existence was this adult couple that I could NOT seem to avoid. You know those types of couples that are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each other's sentences? Yeah, they were creepers, and they had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they were - I swear, this thing would never shut up.

Like I said, I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with other kids my age, even adults from time to time.

The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a pokemon master.

I got a fever and the only prescription... is more cowbell.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/628756/

"What's better than a Triceratops? Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed." - Dwight Schrute

"I'm not racist, I have black people in my family tree. They're still hanging there if you don't believe me." - Anonymous

"Stop right there criminal scum! Nobody breaks the law on my watch! I'm confiscating your stolen goods. Now pay the fine or it's off to jail."
-Imperial guard

I'm waiting for this to get upped more than the other comments because of the Elder Scrolls hype. Victory is soon to be mine!

"Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks" - Santa Claus

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind"
-Captain Price, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare

"Do or do not, there is no try" - Dumbledore

"To the window, to the wall,
To the sweat drop down my balls,
To all these bitches crawl,
All skeet skeet mu'fuckah, all skeet skeet god damn."

• John Fitzgerald Kennedy, 35th President of the United States

Russel Peters -
"United Stated : We are going to come to "Your" country and kill you!
Iraqi : Aww yee? You Kill Me? Eh Fuck you! I Kill Me!... And You!"

Disclaimer : I am Iraqi, No racism intended, Russel Peters is a funny man!

"I wonder how this play ends" - Abraham Lincoln

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."
An oldie, but a good one.

Probably been done by now, but...

"Pandas."
-Blizzard Entertainment

-"Dad I'm in Space!"
-"I'm proud of you son!"
-"Dad are you space?"
-"Yes, now we are a family again."
"SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEE" - Space Core (Portal 2)

"THANK YOU MARIO! BUT OUR PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE!" - Toad :D

Im poor and someone stole my 20 euros that i could have used to buy rus mw3, now i have nothing to buy mw3.

here some quotes:

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." - Joey Adams

Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

hhhhhhhhhhh
lol
i have more but i think that it's Enough for now.

"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean."

-Bob Marley

"This are my pricipes, if you don't like them, I have others" - Groucho Marx

"50% of earth's population is one half" - The World Today

I have something serious to ask: are you a gurl ?
Do you think im gona forget that joke you told me about my mother?Think again AND look outside your window?Do you see a man with a mask ?THINK WHAT WILL HEPPEN NEXT ? The men is moving to the door and the door ring rings . You know the rest im sitting here writing my past few hours of beating and kicking and chopping :D.
i know its a a bit of a story dont know if you like it but ah ;D

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off."

"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move" (c) Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

"What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: “Why is it so dark in here?”" (c) Terry Pratchett

"Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters; harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire."

"Video games don't ruin kids. If Pac-Man ruined us as kids, we would all be running around in darkened rooms, eating magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."

"The road to success is always under construction." - Lily Tomlin

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button." - Sam Levenson

and for some game related quotes

'I found this weapon. It's really powerful, especially against living things.' -Barry Burton (resident evil)

Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired. -Cave Johnson (Portal 2)

and my favorite video game quote of all time

Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! - Cave Johnson (portal 2)

"Por favor bordón de fallar Muchos gracias de fallar gracias"-GLaDOS

"90% of the mail that I get is positive and encouraging. And only 10% are death threats."
--Jimmy Justice

"I've never been too sure why old people buy cash for life tickets" or "If i had a schizophrenic brother, I would give him a bluetooth so he would look incredibly important"