Here's a joke: So a bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.
The bear turns to the rabbit and says " Do you ever have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"
And the rabbit says " Nope, never have."
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
I don't want to be too greedy I would love if i win just homefront and the reason is because I'm broke, I spent all my money on the steam sale.
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I've completed every achievement in half life 2, and half life 2 episode 1, and I'm almost done with episode 2. Valve has an outstanding history of game-making, and Steam itself would have been amazing enough. I think the only game of theirs I don't own is Portal 2 at this point.
Shameless pandering inc > Oh mah gawd mah birthday is Friday! lololol
In all seriousness - Homefront looks amazing. I'd mud-wrestle for that shit.
Great idea for a giveaway, taking the random out of the system and rewarding the awesome. Fuck RNG
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I would love it but you should give it to the charity account....look at their profile or verify with Valve it is an account for a non-profit hospice. I have gifted them a few games. No joke but a good feeling. Me I love games...but for me they are a luxury. Valve did give them Portal 2 for Christmas (plus T-shirts for everyone there) and I bought them LFD2.... I'd love Homefront but if myself; but if they don't have it I'd like too give it to them. I even let them us our pic of the spacewolf. LoL. If you want to give it to them, please do it direct not through my e-mail...I will give you their ID and you can gift it.....plus then it is a tax deduction if gifted direct. (Oh I looked. They also have the Play for Free TF2). Just my two cents. (I am not ure if I should post some one else ID here or not?) Yes I had the join S.Gifts. :)
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I had too ask some questions and so as to not break any rules and without me "posting" I have gotten permission an have made my profile link the link too one of their game accounts since all games were going to them anyway. That way it is contact through them since they will not post I will try and change the e-mail from mine too theirs as well (I have not tried yet..theirs will be obvious)....or you can just friend them and gift directly which would be preferable I think when ever in the future you have the opportunity and inclination. (I have not looked at e-mail yet but will work on it now as I just gift to the account using Steam.)
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I just submitted another petition on the e-mail.
and got permission for one of the links:
MissionFish nonprofit ID 13634
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Azanthriel/
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I need a few games and I will give my laptop to my brother because he has to spend the next 3 months in the hospital. Anyway thank you for the giveaway!
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Why did the turtle cross the street? To get to the Shell station
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lol how all of its perfect except of one tiny bit.
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What is E.T. short for?
Because hes got little legs.
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A boy was sitting on a fence right by a set of train tracks, so his mom comes out and says, "You'd better get off that fence boy before a train comes by and sucks you right off!" So the boy stands up on the fence, pulls his pants down, and says, "Come on train!"
I was that boy. Anything from the above would make me happy. But to be fair I think I have like 2 Valve games. Anyway good luck and have fun :)
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I would love love loveeee ya forevers for homefront. I asked for this game for christmas but instead i got a hermit crab. Im fukn 19 im way to old for crabs of this kind.
I would love to make ya laugh but i have been told by numerous family members and the general public that I am infact the most unfunny person ever.
But here is something i think will make you giggles if ya haven't seen it already :P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggB33d0BLcY
or
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/4uXI3q
Happy Giggles
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I would like to get the games pack because I have an Intel Graphics card and Valve games are literally the only games I can run on my computer without any lag. I'm new to the whole PC gaming thing and I'm too poor to buy a Graphics card right now. Also if you don't give it to me I'll fire you. http://youtu.be/xYmG-AGgdTU
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Me: Can I win it, can I win it?
Engineer: Nope.
Me: D:
Heavy: Nom Nom
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im so poor all the money i have is to buy food for my cat,because if i dont buy food to him he will eat me and thats why i cant buy games... and if i dont win i will send you my cat and he will eat ur computer and maybe even ur grandma! lol jk jk :P
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How about a Christmas poem I wrote a few years ago?
Once upon a time there was a drunken hooker
Who practiced positions and invented the snooker
She smoked pot and snorted coke
Santa claus was her favorite poke
Old St. Nick was such a prick
He would trust no other to suck on his dick
She would slide on his stocking and jingle his balls
He would erupt with enough force to shake the walls
He would play with her melons and taste her cat
It didn't matter he was 200 pounds too fat
But one year everything went wrong
When they took one too many hits from the bong
First of this year the stocking was too small
And he got rug burn on his green ball
On his red one she had squeezed too tight
And poor Santa screamed out with fright
When they found the right stocking he was so happy
But then he stuck it where the hooker went crappy
Then Rudolph busted through the door
He yelled "Get off my bitch and shut up you whore"
Rudolph then charged with the strength of a truck
Santa just sighed and said "Oh fuck"
He tried to dodge but it didn't matter
On the wall is where his fat ass did splatter
The hooker screamed "I just sucked his kazoo"
Thin in the corner was a rabi, what the fuck this is Christmas and he's a Jew
Lets take him out, ahh that feels better
Then in came jesus in a christmasy sweater
"Holy shit its the damn Easter bunny"
Now everyone was serious, this was not funny
He somehow had control of the Christmas elves
They all hurried and grabed the drugs off the shelves
Still need to get around to finishing it.
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A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that he doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
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A blonde in Las Vegas goes up to the Coke machine, puts in a dollar, and gets a Coke.
She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.
She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.
She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.
Finally, the man behind her says, “Hey, lady. Do you think I could use the machine?”
She replies, “Fuck off! Can’t you see I’m winning?”
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''
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The winners will be contacted tomorrow since i really have to sleep right now. Sorry! :D
OK Guys, this was awesome. So many funny / inspiring comments. And some arrow-to-the-knee-jokes, but that was to be expected...
ANYWAY... I'm sure everybody wants to know if they won something right? Well of course you do, it's all you care about.
Soooooo... here we go!
First we have the honorable mentions. Especially awesome comments that sadly lost against the competetion. If i had enough games to give away everybody would get one, but sadly that's not how it works. If anyone feels like being especially awesome get one of these guys a small gift. :D
PSYCHO924
turtalater
DraneX
Zoowee
Beathead
Scrap
Drago
IgotElbows
I'm sure i forgot quite some awesome posts, so please don't be mad at me if i forgot about you. :)
And now comes what we ACTUALLY care about: BRING IN THE WINNERS!!
Altitude goes to:
Rouchground!
This is the only game that i think would run on any computer, the others all might not run on older ones. Make someone happy with this! :)
Rush goes to:
DrPixel!
The story absolutely rocked! :D No seriously, it's awesome!
Edge goes to:
ToaofPi!
I listened to that song you posted and have to say I'm quite impressed! Not bad at all :D
Disciples II goes to:
TheEgo
This was awesomely written! :D
Left 4 Dead goes to:
Eread!
We love HL just as much as you do! :D
Tomb Raider: Underworld goes to:
Moro!
Short, to the point and funny! Keep it up! :D
Homefront goes to:
esuoh!
Because filmmakers are the best! :D
And the final, HUGE prize:
The Valve Complete Pack goes to:
Thomadin!!!
For writing what in my opinion was the best story in the entire contest! I encourage you all to read it, it is on page 2! :D
Thanks to everybody taking part in this and being awesome!
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