Getting Burned For Being Nice

People on your friends list aren't friends, they're acquaintances. Having said that, some people are in a really shitty spot sometimes with no way of getting out of it for a long time so any loans should be considered lost i.e a gift beforehand. If you can't afford it don't do it.

I've lent to some family members. Big mistake. Substantial sums for things like car/living expenses on more than one occasion, etc. Didn't get it back. No real effort to pay it back beyond 1 or 2 initial small payments, and then it never gets mentioned. It's just a "thanks for getting me out of a bad spot" and then they go back to living on the edge w/ bad decisions again - always broke so you feel bad about wanting your money back, but also feel bad because you have to put your foot down and say I'm not giving you any more money despite your bad situation. If you do this, take care to consider if you can afford to have the money just be lost, because it's more likely than you think, and the relationship won't change things much - might make it more complicated.

Sometimes I think people have to be in a tough corner before they make necessary decisions to change their behavior to make the right decisions. I wonder if sometimes lending money only perpetuates the problem that the people need to change.

Thing is, I'm now in far tighter financial spot than I'm used to (I'm blessed, not many financial worries for a long time because I save quite a bit out of habit), but some of that cash sure would come in handy right now due to a high amount of unexpected expenses. Thing is even when you need the money back, you'll probably not want to ask the people that owe you because you know there's no point.

I've lent some small amounts to friends in my past without issue, but it was with careful consideration and for very short periods of time, and is understood there are boundaries so don't ask as it can mess up friendships.

i wouldnt call those that havent paid me back actual friends, my FRIEND friends have always paid me back no problem, the rest are just people i know. i call it "the cost of getting rid of them" because after that they will NEVER ask for shit again, its a relief

but it seems your talking about online friends, im not sure how much i would count any of those as true friends, i know a lot of people online, i dont think id trust any 100%

These people weren't your friends. U were a friend to them, and thats their loss. As years pass they will understand that real friendship is rare and more valuable than any amount of money.

I once gave 1€ to a IRL "friend" on steam so he could buy L4D2, we played CS:GO the same day, next day he blocked me on steam and ignored all my messages from my alt accounts.
Entered his CS:GO Lobby with all our friends there, asked for my money back like he just scammed me. I shammed that faggot.
Got my 1€ back.

He still ignores me whenever I see him in the street

As probably, many people already said; Those were not your friends... They intended to use you... So, at least don't feel bad about it...
And since you seem like a nice guy, I wish you to find some real friends, and have fun with them...

Also, I think there is a saying... That those money are well spent :) You know who you should not trust :)

u know the saying ?
WANT TO LOOSE A FRIEND ? BORROW HIM SOME MONE Y
know u learn that too

Want to lose friend, then borrow money. That's a sentence well know in my country. ;)

Never happened to me. I lend money only to my closest friends so I know they will always pay me back when they can.

depends on the closeness of the friend I guess....odds are, I wouldn't give money to a friend I know only online for 2 years or so....but if it's a friend i've known since high school? Sure....but then again, friends that close don't usually ask for money, and you gotta offer it to them on your own, and then they refuse...and...you see how it goes.

Sounds like you've been scammed.

You're not nice, you're naive.

If you want friends, you don't give money to them.

If someone does shit like this he isn't really a friend, so you basically "just" lost the money and gained the knowledge that this person wasn't a real friend.

If a person does that over money then was never a real friend.

They give you some BS story and next thing you, you are no longer on their friend list.

._.

I did remove some "friends" of mine for even less... you may want thank him to spare you of his bullshit. :}

Never lend money, only give money. It's easier that way.

never borrow anything, you will only get burned.
learned my lesson by:
- borrowing money (never got it back, friend played the "i'm offended card")
- books (1 never got returned, another has some pages torn)
- cd (cracked surface, thanks for taking so much care of stuff you don't own...)
- N64 controller (joypad broken, thanks, got offended when i demanded a replacement)

so yeah... no more borrowing, i'd rather be called stingy than stupid.

man, if you have to give 100$ to everyone you meet, just to find out if he is a friend or not is worth it. i have some 300 dollars in unreturned loans, but i am very happy with it . when push comes to shove that's when you know the truth about people.
Edit: Nice avatar by the way, if that is the friend that you are reffering, just keep giving her money no problems there.

If they money is just a small quantity then why not. Some friends have asked me some cents for the breakfast since they just needed that little (10 cents) and they have always given me the money back. If it's a big quantity then not.

Money is always a problem...

it's cheaper not to give, you were on his removal list anyway...

So far I've lent money few times, but luckily i got it back every time. Sometimes it took a while, but never past a month. I've also asked for a game twice, but always replayed it before the end of the week. Plus I've only asked my best friends. People who I've known for years.

Yep this has happened to me. It's true what they say about never lending money if you expect to get it back. If I am truly okay with not getting it back, I can afford it, and want to help... then I do it, but deep down I don't count on seeing the money again. But I do have a friend who didn't always pay me back, who later came through when things in my life were falling apart... It depends on the person. If you've seen your friend be giving to others when they are able to, chances are they will repay in one way or another eventually.

View attached image.

View attached image.