Yeah having a loving partner, some kids some day, i can see that certainly helping.
Lots of people are seeking pleasure in alcohol or cigarettes though, i just can't (don't wanna smoke, and alcohol gives too much problems, also it's a short term solution, not long term).
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Hey, I absolutely agree. I personally don't want meds. I believe they help. But to me, it just gives me false happiness and I rather just deal with the pain even though it hurts so much and it tears away at me day in and day out. I just think the false happiness is much worse because at the end of the day nothing have changed for me. But that is just me personally. I do hope when you get back on your med it'll help you navigate through life and slowly find happiness. I know that having someone that loves you and you can be with and build a future with will help all of that and I hope you find that one person sooner than later.
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I can understand the desire not wanting to take meds, and who knows what it eventually does long term to your body, you simply don't know, on the other hand if you can't cope and as a result constant stress that's also not good for your body.
It's really a shame we have to go through all sorts of emotions and some stay often in a bitterness or sadness, why can't we be just happy by nature?
I never had "luck" and not to dredge a whole past, but been bullied in school, then dropped out at 15, which resulted in not so terrific career opportunities (which resulted staying with your parents and then potential love partners arent't exactly waiting line, but being going on for 30 years or so (not counting my youth even) your body has been become tired and your energy drained that it's difficult without medicine and try doing it au natural..
And you should be happy with yourself too before you can make someone else happy, but on the other hand if you got someone saying i love you, i believe in you that can also do so much, and i imagine tne unlimited love to and from a child, is priceless.
While yesterday was a bad news days, today i actually had some positive news that i am eligble for a newly build appartment (and with my germphobia that's just ideal for me, and being so full there isn't much else newbuild here) there are 16 spots, and i am at spot 21, so a few have to cancel out or they finding me a better candidate, with that i can hopefully stand in a better position for a girl to accept me.
Sometimes people also meet their loved one at a job, but my luck was i usually worked at places with men only, like construction. :}
But one door can close and another opens.
Thank you, appreciated it and i do feel my biological click is ticking just like a female, while men can even be a dad at 70, but i find that a bit sad (and bad for the child), and would want someone atleast somewhat my own age, so yeah hope luck is finally changing.
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Believe me, you are doing better than me. Meds are fine. Meds are very good for you as long as you take them correctly and not try to overdose yourself. And some meds may not work and you just have to keep trying other option to find the right one. The meds for anxiety and mood are all working with your brain chemical so it isn't always easy to get it to work. Sometimes it takes months to even find the right one. I just know that my mind is an on and off switch. If I am able to be in presence of something that makes me happy then I will be happy. If not then I will feel alone and my mind wanders to very dark places. But I don't want med to make me think like all is okay because it isn't. At least that is what I tell myself. But I do honestly know that meds are fantastic and can really help people. I'm just not one for it.
I never had luck to and will not ever. I been bullied before in school, luckily I didn't have to drop out or did anything bad. I was able to continue on with my education and have a good job. I'm 35 and single and I live with my parents to help take care of them. It isn't easy and I know that isn't exactly what girls want in a guy. And that's fine. I still owe them everything for giving me a better life by moving to America. And this is how I need to pay them back. Sure it hurts everyday that I know nothing will happen for me. I see my sister finally having her own family and her own kid. I am so happy for her but I see that and I know it won't happen for me. I always wished if it was between myself and my sister that god should always pick her. I can be happy with just playing games by myself. Turns out it is a lot harder to be happy by yourself. But I wouldn't trade any of this. It just sucks and the pain is unbearable but someone gotta take it and might as well be me.
One thing though is that you are able to reason out these things and seem to have hope which is good. That's all you really could ask for. Wake up the next day and hope that something changes. And it may and I hope it will for you. I hope the apartment works out. I hope maybe you find another job or stumble upon a nice girl and that will change your life. Sometimes, all it takes is just that one person that you can meet, that shows you they really care for you and it can change your mindset completely. Give you a new take on life. And I hope that will happen for you sooner than later.
Yea and at my age, I think the clock is ticking for me haha. So a lot just weighs down on me. But like you said, if you want a family then maybe you can one day. Even if it takes longer. But don't give up any hope.
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I been bullied too for basically my whole school life, yet somehow i had play dates with most of the children, one day i was lured to a playground where half the class was waiting on me, they grabbed me and i did like i was suffocating and they let me go and i ran home.
It was luckily never really physical, more with words and being chased but still. It did make me get a school phobia resulting in that i left school at 15, that's the only phobia that stayed and still don't know if i get children or already meet a partner with kids that age how i would react, now around any high school i will bike around it, and for not all the gold in the world step in one (yet an elementary school is "okay" which shows how weird a phobia can go).
But i did do homeschooling and got my high school diploma and some certificates, but usually with jobs for certain positions they found me too low and for others too high, like i applied for logistical work last week, everything was learnable, all their employees had autism, i am a relaxed guy and from a previous job i know how to work with people that have autism, and yet they didnt see me "fit" in there, even with jobs, people, relationships i always found myself not "fit" in, like they threat you like some alien you know?
I am 41 (thursday 42..) and i also live(d) with my parents, my dad passed away sadly last year, so it's me and my mom right now (not always have the greatest relationship) and i do also enjoy myself playing games a lot (and it's easy when you got my amount of steam games) and we are very blessed we have had that support of our parents. So i been where you at, still am, and totally understand you.
Thank you, really appreciate those kind words, but you have to keep faith that it can change, and gather your strength from it, but also as hard as it is sometimes, live by carpe diem, by the day, worrying does not change the future either.
And you shouldn't give up on it either (by saying you will never have luck) i tend to believe things in life happen for a reason, and for us it takes till a (very) long age, but doesn't mean things cannot happen, and maybe it takes you also another 5 years or so, but it's not "over" for you, don't give up either.
I am really wishing the same would happen to you too that you find a nice girl that can change your mindset too, and just the powerful words of saying i love you and being said back to you (we both missed in our lives) can already change you so much, give you strength.
You already got a good job so that's already a very positive plus for many women, and i don't know in what way you take care of your parents, but that's even commendable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdsZsNdPEf0 I posted this before maybe you seen it, but sometimes it gave me some rest, the way it is spoken, some parts of text really makes you see how relative things are sometimes.
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I'm very critical of myself and glass half empty guy for myself. I really don't see it. If 35 years have taught me anything, it is that I am not lucky enough to be with anyone I truly liked. No matter how well I present myself to them or how much I care for them. There will always be someone better than me and that is fine. I mean, it is what it is and I can't change that. I'm not god. It sucks and it is painful every day, but life moves on.
I think that eventually you'll find a job that can fit you. It took me a full year when covid started to get a new job. It was very bad. I applied to lots and lots of jobs every day. Even to ones that I had no experience in and willing to leave my previous profession. But I never found anyone or any company that wanted to take a chance on me. Then I finally found this one company and they decided to give me a chance. It even took exactly a month between the first and second interview with them. I for sure thought I wasn't getting a second interview after the second week went by. So yes, it can happen. It is gruesome. But keep trying. Apply to everything that might spark your interest. One of these company/person in charge will take a chance. And after that, it'll be up to you to work hard and find a fit for yourself within the company. And of course, maybe a long the way you can meet a nice girl there or someone that can introduce you to a nice girl. So I would try to start with just applying and networking to get a job that you like (if you are still looking).
I think with regards to bullying it just sucks. Sorry to hear such things happened to you. I been more fortunate. Just more of people making fun of me, so nothing super serious. It can hurt when you were younger but also I probably didn't know any better when I was younger. I think being an adult now, we can reflex on that and learn from it. So I'm sure if you meeting children around that age you will know how to act appropriately. And who knows, maybe you will see a kid getting bullied and can step in to help them. That definitely would make their day and help them now have to experience what you did. Also, glad to hear that you were able to escape from that and not been truly hurt physically. But kids can be mean and they eventually learn to grow out of it and realized how childish they can be. I'm sure if you meet them now and talk to them about it they would like to say sorry to you.
Thanks for the youtube link. I"m listening to it right now.
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Happy Birthday. Good luck with the anxiety. it is a tough challenge
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I have a mood disorder alongside generalized anxiety, started back on Quetiapine to level me out and get my sleep in order. It more or less comes with a hangover, first few days were like I was physically and mentally wading through water. My body is adjusting to it though and that's becoming less severe day by day, thankfully. It's also nice to want to get out of bed even if I'm foggy and stumbling around a bit, lol.
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I had that too and that was the one felt impacting my libido and which i quit for it. I wouldn't mind that drunken feeling, But even with alcohol i am not getting drunk anymore. I even had an oxycodone or oxcycodine whatever and they say it's like as addictive as heroine, it did nothing to me. Why i got a feeling meds aren't taken up properly somehow and nothing i tried would have worked so far.
But yeah it's a matter of adjusting for some it takes longer then others, but you will get there. Hope it doesn't affect any work. ;)
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Oh yeah, I'm either very sensitive to medications or they do seemingly nothing at all, so there's a lot of irritating "dialing it in" to be done.
My libido is down but it was a too high previously, haha. Necessary parts do seem to still be in working order at least. I appreciate the encouragement!
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Thanks you for the games. I hope you find ways to manage your anxiety outside of the useless/overburdened health system.
Try to slow down and appreciate all the good things in the present. Just watch the world around you for a moment without judgement and learn to see all the beautiful things that exist.
Every problem, real or imagined, can be overcome one step at a time. Don't let the negative thoughts rule you. Try to be kind to yourself and never give up hope!
Your posts and videos always bring me joy, so thank you for that! You're a special person.
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Early happy birthday. Sorry to hear things aren't going to great. Hopefully you get some good fun out of the new Monkey Island. Played the first one (Special Edition) quite a while ago and had lot's of fun. Really need to catch up on the rest, especially since they were all given on Amazon Prime recently. My personal favorite point and click is "The Neverhood".
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Yeah the controls are really getting used to eventually, simon the sorcerer 3 also had that same thing (and also put down as being bad, but i actually liked it too), shame gog pulled 4 and 5 and they never came to steam, and that the 6th game that was made in progress just vanished (all site related info got deleted).
Apparently MI4 is also buggy, but i never encountered that.
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No, a continuation of Simon the sorcerer 5 as an adult.
With Chris Barrie (from Red Dwarf and the original Simon voice doing it again). I believe they were pretty far with the game, but probably didn't get enough funding, can't remember if it had a kickstarter.
It had an official site but that was taken down.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_the_Sorcerer_(series)#Simon_the_Sorcerer_6:_Between_Worlds
https://adventuregamers.com/games/view/26892
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BPf64DmXco This always been a very good underrated Simon clone.
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Happy birthday, Lugum!
I do hope the situation improves for you soon, even though the systemic problems around health care seem to become worse by the week. Try to do what you can within the system (even if it means staying on a seemingly endless waiting list that won't help you right now) and - if you can - reach out to people who have experienced similar things. I am sure that on the internet you can find some forums that may help, even if it is not ideal. But every little bit does help.
I wish you the best of luck (and support) and I really hope things will improve for you!
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Happy early birthday, Lugum. Always loving your music choices and giveaways and puzzles and whatever.
As everyone else, I'm sorry to hear about your health; here we have that same problem with patient saturation and long waiting lists. The usual words (take it easy, etc.) will not help you. Consider going private if you can afford it, because it's a serious matter. Nonetheless, trying to find things to keep you busy (specially new things) will help you through the days. I hope the best for you!
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Thank you, love to hear people that do appreciate the music, puzzles etc.
I am currently on wellfare, and energy prices for families are going from 200 to 900 a month.. that's a few months salaries for people, so even with a job it's a struggle with hardly an option to build something up. So alas private is not an option.
I got 10500 games alone on steam, so that will keep busy offcourse. :p But getting older you do feel it in your bones and body just sitting in a chair all day, i should get my butt kicked to atleast take a stroll even around the block a few days a week.
Today i heard i might get a new build flat, there are still some people before me but seriously hope to get it, because with my slight germphobia (where the anxiety thing comes from too) just a brand new place would be so ideal and new houses being build are very rare (because we stick to EU pollution rules here).
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I talk to you from the perspective of someone who has passed through the same situation. Getting out is a BIG part on controlling the anxiety. If people make you uncomfortable, I'm sure you can find some route or places where you can be mostly on your own. And something that many many people have told me, nature helps way more. So even if it's just a bit of green and trees in a park, go for them.
I hope you are lucky with that new place, keep us informed!
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Yeah like i told someone else here i used to jog, but in a park where lots of people walked out their dogs, always saying oh they do nothing, yeah well i got almost bitten 2 or 3 times, even small dogs.. Never trust them, but also just move to walking instead of running helps, but also just the many risks in stepping into something...
I also especially got a steamdeck with the plans to sit in the garden just to be outside, never did, never touched the deck even..(but i also am like i got a big screen in front of me so why get a small screen).
Just walking around the block here is safe, there are few people, luckily the major heat (35c) seems to be gone and well we are heading to a cooler september, so maybe it's time to start doing it.
Will do, maybe next month i got some more news and then i will celebrate with a copy of return to monkey island, and maybe even one of the last giveaways for the time being or definitely fewer, really gonna need to save up for furniture and pay off my mom.
Cheers!
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It's a shame what is happening with these energy prices. At least you have several lifetimes worth of games so you don't need to spend much on them if it comes to it.
I'm glad you are walking, I need to move around more as well.
I hope your birthday goes well Lugum. Take it easy friend.
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Yeah energy is going to an extreme, but every company (healthcare, water, postal services) they all want profit each year, prices used to go up but also down, but these days it's just up, up, up but not people's salaries.
And true but there will always be new releases and normally i don't usually buy high priced games, but couldn't resist return to monkey island and probably get cowabunga collection too (its also my bday soon) that's 60 euro.. And my wish is still about 2000 worth of harddrives, but probably getting my own place so the drives are a very long term project.
Well no that's the thing i had the idea of walking a few blocks atleast twice a week, but i need my butt kicked, i sit alot and i often feel it in my back but it's a general thing they say you also should move like x steps a day, and it would be very good for your health in the long run.
And well at a certain age things just don't go by itself anymore,
Hope we can both kick ourself in the butt to find a way to move more. :)
Cheers.
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So yeah that time of the year again, and no i am not digging it at all.
Also just a bad time, they already cut me off my meds cold turkey for 3 months, then had to wait 6 more weeks because everyone was on holiday and heard today that i should just wait "patiently" 7 more months till its my turn with the shrink. I don't know how you can wait patiently with (severe) anxiety, i just told them they could stuff the whole shrink thing, i will find ways myself then to cope with it.
Also didn't get a second job interview (but secretly hoping it wouldn't get through anyway because of reasons).
"The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death."
Anyyyway you just come here for the gifts, so:
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/2tIaB/everhood
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/6lKqD/silver-chains
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/J7aYw/middle-earth-shadow-of-mordor-game-of-the-year-edition
I was going to gift return of monkey island when it came out, but it kinda came way earlier then expected and there is no financial room atm so sorry, maybe next month, and maybe not (times are getting harsher financially these days), we will see.
I did get it myself though, and very anxiously waiting for it's release date, and hoping the gameplay would just be as good.
I will thank anyone that congratulates me in advance or wait on thursday, as i am way too lazy to reply to everyone personally as always. :p So no offense.
And offcourse no topic without from me without some mood giv..music....
One more for the road.
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