Giveaway Hacker Evolution Duality & Q.U.B.E

A:Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?

B:Yes I am, but I married the wrong woman too.

QUBE

I like cats too! Let's exchange recipes.

..lame, but it worths a try... :)
(Q.U.B.E.)

I want Q.U.B.E!
Please) I don't can win on SteamGidts(((

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Hard for me to declare a priority, so whichever game is left. (if any)
Thanks!

Heard this one many years back, its hilarious, makes my friends laugh immediately.
Here goes, yea its long, but you'll like it:

A family decides to buy a robot that slaps anybody that doesn't tell the truth.

So the family are sitting at the dinner table and the father asks the son, "Son, where were you today".

The son replies, "At the cinema".

Dad asks, "What did you watch".

Son replies, "Alvin and the Chipmunks"

-SLAP- The robot slaps the Son.

The dad furious says "What did you really watch!?"

The son replies, "An... erotic movie....."

The dad says "Pfft, you shouldn't be watching those things at your age, I didn't see a naked woman till I was in my twenties!"

-SLAP- The robot slaps the Father.

The mother then says "hahahaha what did you expect, after all, he is your son!"

-SLAP- The robot slaps the Mother.

Doctor: I have good and bad news for you.

Patient: So what’s the good news?

Doctor: You’ve got 24 hours to live.

Patient: What’s the bad news?

Doctor: We should have told you yesterday.

Boom Boom. Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen. I'm here all week.

Can I have Qube please :-)

What do you call people gathering to drink out of a bowl at prom?
Punchline.

Qube would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for doing this!

So here's what I posted about an hour ago on the "My right ear is dangerous thread":

"
Okay, got myself a G35 from Logitech. Check this out:

• flipping metal adjusters to make sure the cushy rectangle that goes over your whole ear is as comfy as possible and doesn't break when you remove them. Yeah, there's a cushy rectangle that covers your whole ear for perfect sound suppression. They ain't dangerous though, the only murders in which these were involved were because of jealous friends. The headset remained unharmed.
• there's a cushion that goes on your hair so that it doesn't touch this perfection among headphones.
• The cable is some freaky rope! Forget that rubber exoskeleton, you'll get a ropy feeling with every touch. There's also a Velcro band made to adjust the ropy, elastic cable. Did I mention it's elastic? That's right, it automatically expands and retracts to suit your need. And with the velcro, you've got Swiss engineering inside Swiss engineering!
• You thought that was some Inception-related pun? No way man. The director used his G35 and it came to him in an epiphany when that god of headsets blasted it into him with the motherflipping 7.1 surround simulation. Music will never be the same. It'll be like the band is playing live just for you. Logitech stated that this was a possibility, they're still unsure of what they created. You'll also hear your enemies' footsteps before they hear your knife thanks to this. Your nagging girlfriend won't see the difference!
• There's a microphone in there too somewhere when it's not oppressed by that monster of a headphone. When you turn it upwards, it mutes itself because it knows you're mad, and therefore the headphones are mad too.
• But if that fails, you can always press a button straight on the headphone to mute your mike. That's right, the mike isn't great enough to have its own buttons, it needs to go through the Giant 35. And the decision belongs to you only, the G35 knows that. And if you wanna shut up your enemies for a second, there's a wheel on the headphone - how steampunk is that?? - to adjust the volume. It is believed they literally shut up.
• You also have three buttons that can be customized to your will. Want one to open Thunderbird? Sure. Perhaps you'd rather have it make the bill collectors go away? They're working on that. For now just put it on your mailbox and they'll be scared away.
• A software comes with it. The CD is shipped in its own sleeve just because putting the two together would cause a violation of several treaties. The software offers a complete rerouting of volume adjustments - Low, mids, and highs. You can also choose 6 morphed voices, like a Cyborg or an Ogre. Not funky enough? Fine, there's also an alien, a mutant and a troll in there.

The Mayo Clinic decreed this monster of technology could be classified as a weapon of mass destruction on 35 levels, all of them involving your friends when they see what you bought yourself. So go ahead and make their day."

I already have the Hacker trilogy so I'm only interested in QUBE, by the way.

from desperado:

This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says, "Now wait, let me get this strait. You're tryin' to tell me you'll bet me $300 that you can piss, standing over here, way over there into that glass, and not spill a single drop?" Customer looks up and says, "That's right." Bartender says, "Young man, you got a bet." The guy goes, "Okay, here we go. Here we go." Pulls out his thing. He's lookin' at the glass, man. He's thinkin' about the glass. He's thinkin' about the glass. Glass. He's thinkin' about the glass, glass. Thinkin' about his dick. Dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass. And then, foosh, he lets it rip. And he-he's pisses all over the place, man. He's pissin' on the bar. He pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender! He's pissing everywhere except the fucking glass! Right? Okay. So, bartender, he's laughing his fuckin' ass off. He's $300 richer. He's like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Piss dripping off his face. "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" He says, "You fucking idiot, man! You got it in everything except the glass! You owe me $300 punta." Guy goes, "Excuse me just one-one little second." Goes in the back of the bar. In back, there's a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them. Comes back to the bar. Goes, "Here you go, Mr. Bartender, 300." And the bartender's like, "What the fuck are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot!" The guy says, "Well, see those guys over there? I just bet them $500 a piece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on you, and not only would you not be mad about it, you'd be happy.

I'd like Hacker please.

Do arrow to the knee jokes count? :P

Ok, I would never win with one, they were funny four month ago.

what did the zombie say when he entered a joint meeting of congress? "brains brains everywhere but not a bite to eat?"

A man walks into a bar and orders some whiskey. He drinks whe whole bottle then orders another and so on until it's almost closing time. The bartender then walks to him and goes "Are we celebrating something?" "My first fellatio", replies the man. "Then have this, on the house!" says the bartender while offering him a beer. The guy replies "No thanks, if all this wiskey didn't take the taste out of my mouth I doubt a beer will".

Q.U.B.E. would be nice, thanks.

Joke: Who will win this giveaway? Renusek!

Q.U.B.E. please, my master.

http://youtu.be/9gIPz0WmIUI

I want Q.U.B.E

A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I've got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He's still wriggling. What should I do?"

"In the back of your truck there's a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."

"So what's the problem now?" his Boss snapped.

"The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"

(I'd like Q.U.B.E plz.)

sending video jokes count_?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYqr3aM-oxc
qube
QQ

Two jokes here...

"I want to go down on you and make you extremely happy. Then I want to come back up slowly and screw you real good and hard. Sincerely, Gas Prices"

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a ...case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of ...face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price....'
HUSBAND DOWN, AISLE 7 !!!!!!!!

Preferably QUBE but I'm interested in both games actually.

Thanks for the giveaway and the jokes in the thread!

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?

Q.U.B.E

Thanks for the giveaway!

My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!

I want Q.U.B.E!

This is probably one of my favorite jokes of all time.

I am a ginger, I tried to join my schools jazz band.
I got declined.

They told me I didn't have enough soul.

I would like hacker evolution please.

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral." - Hacker Evolution Duality, Please!!!!!! :)

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.... "Why are you down here at this time of night!?"
The husband looks up from his drink, "It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met."
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 15," he said solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.
The husband pauses....... The words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, Either you marry my daughter or I will make sure you spend the next 20 years in prison?"
"I remember that, too" she replied softly...
He sighed as he wiped another tear away from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out today."

And if you decide to choose me as a winner, I'd like Q.U.B.E. please!

damn i suck at jokes but ill try in a moment

A guy walks into a bar and looks into is shirt pocket. He orders a drink and drinks it. He looks into his pocket again and drinks again. He repeats this 5 more times until the bartender asks him, "What's in your pocket?" The man says, "A picture of my wife. I drink until she looks good and then I go home."

A quick bar joke for ya instead of these walls of text. I'd love to be picked for QUBE ^^. Thanks for the opportunity man enjoy these jokes :)