From time to time I write text messages while I am driving a car. I know it's dangerous... but sometimes I do stupid thinks after I drink an alcohol.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

And if this don't make you laugh i'll give up!

Well, one TF2 joke:

Why didn't the Sniper shave today?
Because he never got his Razorback.

I'll tell you the biggest joke about valve: Half Life 3

How many feminists are needed to change a lightbulb? Zero. Feminists can't change anything.

Also there's gonna be new humble bundle and this giveaway is going to end on Wednesday :)

So a dyslexic man walked into a bra...

A guy enters the fast food without shoes. The store owner tells him "Can't you read? No bare feet!" And the guy replies "Oh it's okay, I wasn't going to order any."

By the way, most of the jokes I've seen here are from here. XD
Tsk tsk... No creativity, no creativity at all...

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.
"Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5269694464/h548FDBB0/
this one made me laugh a lot :)

this has made me laugh to tears! XD
enjoy! =)
by the way it is tf2 themed=)

Since buttered toast always lands buttered side down, and the cat always land on their feet, then if we attach the buttered toast on the cat's back will he hang in the air?

<3

You want to hear a dirty joke or a clean joke?

SO FUNNY!!!
A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours.

He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighbourhood.. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters, from the BBQ and flirting.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in.'

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and
everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Colin and the croc were screaming and raising hell. Finally Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a dead goldfish.

Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool.
Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

The host says, 'Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it,' said Colin.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'

'No thanks... I don't want it,' answered Colin.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'

Again, Colin said "No."

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well Colin, then what do you want?

Colin said,

'I want the bastard who pushed me in.'

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5269694464/h548FDBB0/
this one made me laugh

i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5269694464/h548FDBB0/ this one made me laugh :)

Two witches watched two watches, wich witch watched wich watch ?

A teacher was giving her class of small children a lesson on good manners.
"Suppose, by mistake, you step on a lady's foot. What do you do?"
"I say pardon me."
"Very good. Now suppose the lady, to reward you, gives you a coin. What do you do?"
"Step on the other foot to get a second one." :)

read this with a straight face.

read

1 more extra quick joke.

Boy1: Do you know Danny mendoza?

Boy2: No, Why?

Boy1: Because he doesn't know you too.

Boy2: -_-'

thanks
but i can't really tell jokes. so i'll just write this. Saw an ad in the newspaper : Need Accountant, 15000Rs – 20000Rs.
So I called and told them the answer is -5000Rs…

The ans]

How many portals does it take to change a lightbulb?

[wer is two.

How do you knock a little girl off a swing? Through a fridge at her.

Come on Gabe, let's count
1,2,.....2 episode 1,.....