A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

i know this is lame... but do consider me for one of the prizes (｡◕‿‿◕｡)(Y)

I don't need Valve's complete pack because I have the most games.
I want something else. Why?
Because I just want it :].
Thanks for wasting your time by reading this. :D

I would like win these games because i don't have arms to navigate into steam store and buy the pack.

Instead of posting a funny image or line, I'm going to recommend you watch a film called "Withnail & I" and have a great 90 minutes or so. You probably won't get a chance until after this is over but you should still watch it when you have time. This is my gift to you.

Went three turtle through the desert. The first said. In front of me is the desert, tortoise behind me. The second said in front of me a turtle, and behind me a turtle. The thrid said in front of me a turtle and tortoise behind me. Why the thrid said so?

Because it was lier-turtle...

Why I could get this pack, is this somekind of trick question? Why even I am here, but still if you want I can tell a story, what you want to hear it? Sorry I dont have one, I just said that to please you, and your INSANE requiremnests(Sorry dont know how to spell it xD) And for the end I wanted to make something special, so I smashed my face to keyboard I look what I have written:

Good day my friend, Gentelmen, I heard you dont like Twilight, this movie is very negative indeed, how the people which has a Porphyric Hemophilia disease can Sparkle in the sunlight, this make no sense at all, the author(I am writing in lower case letter because this kind of person do not diserve CAPITAL LETTERS), so author should take common sense to his mind, and start writing good stuff.

P.S I was COD player like most of people in the world, then I took common sense to mind too, as this author should(Now I play BF3 like real man should)

Oh man! I was very busy and totally forgot about this giveaway and now I'm too tired to think of something!

But well here goes nothing.

I already have H-L games and Portal 1 so I don't want Complete Pack.

I would love to try Left 4 Dead. Why? Because I traded the L4D2 during holiday sale for the reason I never played part 1, and maybe I want to play part 1 first:P

1 video. grants laugh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

I do not have these games and at 300 Entries - 0 wins. I'm registered here a long time ... probably do not like Russian here
Thanks for the chance.

I just graduated from college (so, needless to say, I have absolutely no money to spare) with degrees in Music Composition and Computer science, and a dream of working in the game industry (hopefully composing, but I wouldn't mind programming either). I've been a bit intrigued by the music that Valve has done (such as their dynamic sound engines in Left for Dead and Portal 2, but the only Valve games I have are from the Portal series (Portal came free with Steam when it was released for Mac, and Portal 2 was a gift from a friend).

So, I decided to write this song.

Ahem.

Well here we are again
It's always such a pleasure
Remember when we tried
to play Half Life?
Oh how we played and played
Except I wasn't playing
Under the circumstances
I've been shockingly broke.

You want your contest?
Make it
That's what I'm counting on

I never knew you before
Now I only want your games

This seems so nice of you
(and not at all suspicious)
And so I'm writing, like you want me to
One day I typed this up
So I could play forever
It's close to plagiarism,
and it might just get me sued...

You've got your
Valve com-
plete pack
Just what I'm looking for
I'll let you gift it to me
Now I only want you games

So here is my short entry
So, did it appeal to you?
I hope it's funny
It should make you grin
Now that I have entered
I think I will just sit here
Waiting for all the new games
So I can stop playing Skyrim

Go make some new giveaway
That's what I'm counting on
You've read my contest entry
Now I only want your games
Now I only want your games
Now I only want your...
games

P.S. If you're interested in hearing one of my more original songs, author J.C. Hutchins uploaded one of my more recent compositions to his website: http://traffic.libsyn.com/jchutchins/7th_Son__The_Soundtrack.mp3
Also, if I win, I would be happy to write you something.

i only have CS 1.6 :S . ill be ultra happy whit just the l4d game xD

I honestly don't have a sob story other than I'm overweight and I'd like to try Homefront out.

I own Orange Box and both L4D games, as for why to choose me, i dont really know, i would just test my luck in this give away, as for giving you laughs, watch Jeff Dunham shows, they are on youtube as far as i know, and even if i am not the one to win, i want to show my support for the epic giveaways people are making here on the forum, so +1 from me, keep up the spirit OP :D

This 1 in 10000000 percent luck

15 percent lost many giveaways resignated chill

5 percent lolz

50 percent giveaways same

and 100 percent wanting to win a the game.

~steam gifts "remember the name" parody.

I should be chosen for a very simple reason: It would be an awesome reason to cook a celebratory victory dish. This would be very welcome, especially since my chemicals are somewhat old and have to be used soon.
Honestly, that would be a good idea in any case. Molecular gastronomy ho!
Wait, am I arguing myself out of a game here?

WHILE SITTING ON THA TOILET I WISH TO PLAY L4D!

I'm not the funniest guy nor the most creative, so i'll just share some of the jokes and pick up lines i know.
Two peanuts walked down the street. One was a-salted.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

http://longestjokeintheworld.com/

You must be sin^2 because I am cos^2 and together we equal 1.

You must be an asymptote because I just find myself getting closer and closer to you.

Let me be your integral so I can be the area under your curves.

OK Guys, we are now officially CLOSED FOR ENTRIES!

Everything below (and in case you're using the enhancement addon above) here will NOT count.

I'm reading through the comments right now and deciding who gets what. Be patient, it will take a few minutes.

I wish good luck to everyone! Thanks for the giveaway!

Congratz to the people who won and thanks to ETD for the chance!

The suspense is killing me.

F5F5F5

Edit: Oh snap, I won one! Can't wait to try it out. Thanks again for the competition

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohooooooooo! :D
Thanks for making this giveaway, and also for choosing me as a winner!
I really appreciate it and thank you very very much!
(also insert other random victory dances or Final Fantasy Victory Fanfare here ;))

Congrats to all of the winners and cheers to ETD! :)

Congrats to all the other winners and the runner ups! I'm currently installing Homefront! Great day!

Congratulations to all of the winners, and to the honorable mentions as well.

Thank you for the compliment as to my composition. And, since I did win something, would you like me to write something for you?