I have left4dead. Listen good sir u must give me pack cus you are most awesomest person here!!!1 you so awesome dat u shuld reconise othrr awesum ppls cus u got awesome metre and it full for yu but my is high too! The awesum radar pointing u and then me!! It goesing wild wailing like da alarms dat go of if u in sinking ship cus dumbshit captain crashed into iceberg like WAIIII WU WU WUUU WAIIIO WOOO WEEE WOO WEE. and awesum pplz must support eahother cus awesome ppls r liek bros and bros b4 hoes so u g2 gief to me cus i am awesome like u !!! I need this pack to be nearer awesome as you so we be cooler friends and play all valave games togheterr!!! My dog ate my wallet so i cant buy this game so as my awesum brothrr be awesum and help an awesum brother so help me out plzzzzzzzzz!!! Doctors say u So awesome dat it bad for health!!!' but if u helpa me u b sooooo cool dat doctors gief u superpotion and makes u live forever!!!! So give me thr pack u musttt!!!! lololololol srs u go to heaven if u gief me dis srs bizzniss . Btw the oter day this talkinh green thing came under from y bed and scred me!!!!!! It said dat if u dnt get me valve pack we all die!!!! Trust me onndis srsly!!!!! Nvm de other ppl, read this and declare me winrar!!!! PS; i got bitches, i share them for valve pack k?????? Lolololoolllolololopollolololololopop bitchburger plzzz lolololololol u so awesomeiest i trust u give me it!! I luv u u so awesum!!! (im mentally challenged so gief me it)

all i wanted for Christmas was video game, but as always i got sweater...

i think i should get this gift because the other day i had the worse day... i got drunk and then got on the bus to go home... the bus was packed, so as u can imagine it was a big mess in there.. everyone was falling and grabbing each others tits and etc.. i saw this punk in the bus with multiple colours in his hair and i was like "fucking hell man.. if I had a face like that i'd take my mum to court..." and he turns around and says "have u got a fuckin problem ? u never seen anything like it?" and i was like.. "no its not that.. its just that once upon a time i got really drunk and had sex with a parrot, are u sure you're not my son?" .. so ye that didnt go very well and i got kicked out the bus lol, i was then waiting for the next bus and it just happened to be a funeral going on.. and there was this lady crying and saying "oh my god, where my husband is going there is nothing... there's no TV, there's no food, there's no drink, there is nothing" and i was like.. "fuck.. don't tell me he's going to my house?" ... so ye that didn't end up well either... and to top that off when i got home my son asked me "daddy daddy... i want a dictionary" and i said "for what?" and he said "to go to school dad" and i said "why don't you walk then..." so ye.. that's my story lol

Hulalalalalalaaaa!!!!

Roses are red, violets are red, trees are red...
Shit my garden is on fire.

All my Friends are playing L4D and other stuff of Valve exepte me :'( i just want to join them and have fun :'( please !

Because I'm all outta gum...

Note: I own a lot of Valve games and TR: Underworld. (:

I already own a lot of the Valve games, so it would be like throwing half of the pack away. I would just like to enter for "runner up" prizes if possible. Here is a story I wrote billion years ago, I would say it is quite interesting. I was young and grammarless - I was still learning english, because it isn't my first language:

George is a 13 years old boy and he has no parents. He lives in a city called Hong Kong. Because he has no parents, he does not have any money. His favorite foods are apples and he must steal them to survive. He is living in old streets. Lots of policemen are watching for him.
One day he was on the market to steal food. An old man was selling fruit. When he went to his friend, George ran to the fruit and took as much as he could. An old man saw him and he called the police. George was watching for a hiding place and he saw a market where were suitcases on sell. George ran to them and jumped into the suitcase. He closed it from inside and stayed calm. He heard policeman running from shop to shop. But they could not find him. Because George liked suitcase more then old streets he stole it too, when the policemen went away. Now George lived in the suitcase. This was the last market where they did not know him, so he had to go to a different town. First five hours of walk were good, but then he became tired. He opened the suitcase and moved down the road. He got inside it and went to sleep. There were not a lot of people on this road, so George slept well. When he work up it was morning. He started to walk again. In few hours he came in the village he did not know. All the houses were small and there was no one on the road. He heard cows and pigs in the farm. He saw the apple tree and because he was hungry, he went to it and took some apples. The apples were really good. He wanted to know where he is so he started to watch where other people are. All around him there were not any. He knocked on the door. He knocked three times, but no one opened the door. He knocked on other houses too, but no one was there. The entire village was empty. George did not know what to do. He opened the door of one of the houses and because the house was empty he started to live there. First it was quite good for him. Every day he got up and went out to find some wood for fire, then he made fire and cooked lunch, he ate apples, meat and everything he found in village. There were lots of animals. It was strange that people left animals with no food. George lived there for almost three months, but every day it was stranger. He wanted to know what happened that all the people were gone. All the things were still in the houses like nothing happened. One day when he was looking for wood he saw a squirrel. He liked animals so he went to get the squirrel. But when he saw the squirrel again he saw that the squirrel had two heads. Now he remembered everything about the village. He heard there was an explosion of nuclear power plant. The people had to go away because of radiation and they left everything alone. They just ran away. He took all the things and went away from the village as fast as he could.
He went back to the city. Back to Hong Kong. When he lived alone, he got to know hot to do lots of things, so he got a job and a new home. The suitcase was still under his bed and he never opened it again.

I want only Altitude cause i already own other games.

I need Altitude cause i fear of flying and i need to beat it :( (and i love porn with hostess D:)

Hi ETD. I'm not a good storyteller especially about something fun. But I hope this video will be better any joke.
When i first saw it, I was laughing all day. Hope you will be too :)
P. S. It's not an Indian guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-K39UaT19o

So here's my story. One day waaaaay back in 2007 I was climbing up a mountain on the way to my local GameStop in the Himalayas, looking to go buy a copy of the newest game, or actually a collection of games, The Valve Complete Pack. I was carrying a ripe, fresh, and somehow juicy banana. About halfway up I was startled to see a strange man with green hair and purple robes. He then told me something like, "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!" in a strange robotic/alien voice. I was so frightened that I threw my banana on the ground, where it immediately became a banana PEEL. Then I slipped on the banana peel, fell down the mountain, and broke every bone in my body except for my tongue.

Life was hard without the use of nearly every bone. I couldn't walk, write, or do anything really, but I was still able to talk. Speaking became a hobby, a talent, and eventually a job. I grew interested in politics. After a while of merely attending public speakings and watching quite a bit of political TV shows, I decided to run for the mayor of Loud Hill. I won the election by a landslide, 100% to 0%! It was amazing! I don't think I've ever had a prouder day in my life. But after one year of being mayor of Loud Hill I decided that I needed to run for president of the United States of America. I traveled to Washington D.C. to join in the election, and I was allowed due to my amazing level of awesomeness. The election days were hard days for me, but nowhere NEAR the difficulty of my recovery from my banana peel incident. I grew very stressed, but that was quickly eliminated after three months when I discovered that I had won just barely against a man named Pyrami D. Head.

Life was great as President. Things were a bit stressful, but I was able to manage. The one thing I couldn't stand though was PUDDING. I hated it, despised it, and cursed to a bottomless pit. My hatred grew so much that I petitioned for a pudding embargo, which actually ended up passing. After that I tried to incorporate peace into our country by demanding a public day of hugging. Everything went perfectly fine until a dog named Sam and a rabbit named Max tried to kill me. They nearly succeeded, but I was just able to escape. That was an unpleasant day. I decided to not run for President again.

I thought that maybe traveling would help calm me down, so I purchased plane tickets to Russia. The flight was long and boring, but it was definitely worth it. There was tons of scenery along the way, and I even saw something I don't think I'll ever see again in my life- the wreckage of Chernobyl. There were all of these weird creatures running around and some guy who I nicknamed "The Marked One" was also running around from town to town in this wasteland doing multiple quests. It was such an odd sight, I decided to look away for a bit until we landed. Once I got off the plane I was slapped in the face by a huge amount of snow coming off of a soldier's snowmobile. I was interested in exactly where he was going, so I rented a snowmobile from a nearby shop and followed him. He seemed to be going to an airbase in the mountains. When I looked at his license plate it read "SOAPMCTVSH". I happened to have a laptop with me, so I set the snowmobile to cruise and opened my laptop up.

I wasn't able to find his name anywhere on Google, but somehow one of the similar results was "Apeture Science". I clicked on their home page, and was greeted by something about shower curtains and robots. Intrigued at how the two things were similar, I took another plane back home to the USA to investigate. When I arrived at Apeture Science Laboratories, I walked in and was greeted by a creepy robotic voice, which called itself GLaDOS. This GLaDOS thing led me through many puzzles, with the promise of cake at the end. I was excited to get to the delicious, moist cake, but when I arrived at the end of the last puzzle there was no cake. Instead I was greeted by a huge bonfire at the end of a conveyor belt! How awful! At that moment I realized that I still had a goal in life- to obtain the Valve Complete Pack! Determined to get the pack of games, I barely managed to escape, but was soon dragged back inside by a robot who thanked me for assuming some sort of party position. To this day I am still living in that laboratory, wishing that I could buy or somehow get a copy of the Valve Complete Pack. THE END

And that is why I want The Valve Complete Pack (or a runner-up, preferably one of those because I already own most to all of the Valve games, besides HL2 Ep 1 & Ep 2, DoD:S, L4D1, and all of the older ones) so badly.

Hope you enjoyed my story, it took me a while to write and YES, I did all write it myself. Thanks for the sweet giveaway, I had a lot of fun writing that as well. Oh, and if you didn't catch on to the references they are in order: "All Your Base Are Belong To Us"; that one Machinima video with MW2 and Zombies, I forgot the name of it but typing in "MW2 Zombies" in Youtube might work; Silent Hill 2; Sam & Max Season 1: Episode 4; S.T.A.L.K.E.R. (I've only played Shadow of Chernobyl so technically that); Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2; and finally, Portal. ^_^

Joke

Because I wanna play with Lara Croft :D!

I have the valve complete pack, and had a giveaway for hl2.

And ill suck your dick for altitude.

Yo brah, I already own teh valve games so dont include me in that giveaway, RUNNER UP PRIZES IS WHERE ITS AT.

Also, did I tell you what my biggest accomplishment in 2011 was? Probably when I told Osama he should turn on 'locations' on his Facebook app.

lulz amirite gaiz?!

(I want the Homefronts game!)

I should get it because I smoke pot, just like you!

Well...

In west Philadelphia, born and raised, in my bedroom is where I spent most of my days. Chillin' out maxin', relaxing, all cool, while I was shooting out some zombies in L4D2. When a couple of trolls, who were up to no good, started making trouble in this game of blood. I got in one little fight and my computer said, "Enough!". Then it crashed, and it gave me the blue screen of death.

I whistled for a cab and when it came near, it had "Fresh" on the plate and it had dice in the mirror. If anything, I could tell that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it", yo take me to there!

I pulled up to the shop, about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cab, "Yo home, smell ya later!" Looked at the shop, I was finally there, "Fix my PC and I'll buy that mouse there, Corsair."

I need to win cause all my life i not have how to buy games at steam and joke
what say noob to verten why use gun whan you got rpg :)

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates.' Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

AYEM PRYANYA. AYEM NID THISE GEAMS

Because Gaben TOOK ALL MY MONEY! And now i need to find the JOB. :[

In this right moment you are playing Skytim right? (if you are playing you can't obviusly answer XD) So you MUST know this song in the game: "The dragonborn comes"... So now this song will be "The ETD comes"

Our hero, Our hero, claims a Santa's heart.

I tell you, I tell you, the Valve Pack comes.

With a name-wielding power of the ETD types.

Believe, Believe, <this good, lovely and awesome man> comes. <----sing these things fast as you can or you will go out of time XD

It's an end to the evil of all Stemgift's fakes.

Beware, Beware, the E. T. D. comes.

100 entries has passed and the legend yet grows.

You'll know, You'll know, the E.T.D. come.

Few videos to make you laugh:
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMxTCjIjKo8&feature=related )
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiLXx-0W8Q4 )
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QpJqnjltzE&feature=related )
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIn8HhH_XCk&feature=relmfu )
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx7ZMhIIAS0&feature=relmfu )

Reason why I should get Valve pack:
I should get all Valve games because I love every single game that has been produced by Valve.Their games have souls,world and characters inside games are my drugs and they are like real world with real characters;The most important thing is that their games are unique and specific,I mean,you can play them all time,every minute,day and every year and still it will be unique experience.So,if I get Valve pack,my joy and happiness will be infinite (eternal) and I would be the most happy men in the world. :)

And few more jokes(Portal,GLaDOS):

"Is that repulsion gel on your face, or are you just natural ugly?"
"We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you. You killed me. I—oh, no, wait. I guess I haven't killed you yet. Well. Food for thought."
"Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I’m sorry. You didn’t react at the time so I was worried it sailed right over your head. That’s why I had to call you garbage a second time just now"
"Science has now validated your birth mother’s decision to abandon you on a doorstep"
"Well done. Here come the test results: “You are a horrible person.” That’s what it says. We weren’t even testing for that"
"I honestly, truly didn’t think you’d fall for that trap. In fact, I designed a much more elaborate trap further ahead for when you got through with this easy one. If I’d known you’d let yourself get captured this easily, I’d have dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling"
"He’s not just a regular moron. He’s the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived"
"lemon + grenade = lemonade" (about Cave Johnson)
"Note to self: don't give Cave Johnson lemons" (about Cave Johnson)
"There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I even invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends because of how unlikable you are."
" Didn't we have some fun though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Goodbye," and you were like "No way!" And then I was all, "We pretended we were going to murder you." That was great."
"Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an "unsatisfactory" mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck!"
"As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you. When the testing is over, you will be... missed."
"I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to. Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on... 'Helloooooooooooooo' That's you! That's how dumb you sound! You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing. You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?"
"When the testing is over, you will be baked, and then there will be cake."
"That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it!"
"It was a fun test, and we're all impressed at how much you won. The test is over. Come back."
"Deploying surprise in five... four... Time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen. Do you see that thing that fell out of me? What is that? It's not the surprise... I've never seen it before. Never mind, it's a mystery I'll solve later, by myself, because you'll be dead."
"Helloooo. Thats you! Thats how dumb you sound!"
"There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I even invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends because of how unlikable you are."
"Your not smart, your not a scientist, your not a doctor, your not even a full time employee, where did your life go so wrong"
"Your entire life was a mathematical error, a mathematical error im about to correct"
"You should marry that thing since you love it so much" do you want to marry that thing WELL I WONT LET YOU how does that feel"
"Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that Android Hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance."
"Remember, the Aperture Science "Bring Your Daughter to Work Day" is the perfect time to have her tested."
"Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science Self-Esteem Fund for Girls? It's true!"
"When I said "deadly neurotoxin," the "deadly" was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff. Put it on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all… to me. You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness a lot less funny."
"The Enrichment Center is committed to the well being of all participants. Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all. "

I have pirated each one I don't own and I feel bad. MAEK ME FIL GUD

I will go to Valve and get a copy of Half Life 3 for you :)

I'm sure you give the valve pack to me. You, me and everyone know that;)