Bump. I think all of this is only a way to "soften" this whole idea in the eyes of others. You know, even though someone does not hold your hand and force you to marry complete stranger doesn't mean that there isn't other types of threats involved. People are afraid of being family's "disgrace" or being left alone or being treated badly etc. I have a homosexual friend who get married with a woman only because he knew his family would cut him off completely if he'd tell them the truth about himself. And no one forced him to get married per se. So if that happened in "normal circumstances", I can't imagine it being different with arrange marriage.
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I was curious about your origin and saw my national flag in your profile.
Yeah that's really big problem. At some point friend told me that homosexuality is bullshit, because 60 - 70 years ago people were (like straight people) marrying opposite gender and at some point they were "deciding" that they are homosexual and don't like their marriages. Sure. Because they weren't forced into unhappy marriages by family / society / tradition and other bullshit.
It's even funnier, because I wanted to explain this "forcing people into heterosexual marriages" by her own similar example - she's atheist and her boyfriend is catholic. She doesn't want to baptise their children (after they will be born at some point) but his family is "good-catholics" and said that either children will be baptised or she won't marry their son. So she's in fact forced to do something she doesn't want because of her boyfriend family. But she can't find any similarity between these two situations > _ <
Heck in our country people (who are both atheists) baptise their children because "my mother want that out child will be baptised, she won't leave me alone until we do this / she will cut me off my family", "what will our neighbours say?" and so on.
So I really don't believe that these children will truly have got much to say about these marriages and won't be indirectly forced into it by family / society standards and so on.
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Wow :) So many people from Poland ^^. Good to see you.
Yeah, sadly I've heard many similar arguments, since this also concerns me. Not arranged marriage, of course, or any other ;). I find it unbelievable how low people empathy must be to not be able to imagine how someone like that must feel. I fully agree with everything that you've written.
And blue heart for you, for being awesome and open-minded. And from Poland! Shocker ;).
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no marriage is the best kind of marriage.
i wouldn't marry someone even if a hollywood star offered me. :3
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You just shattered the dreams of thousands on this site........ :`(
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what are you trying to sell me...
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Agreed!
Although in my case nobody would want to marry me so I don't even have to worry about it :D
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I also don't get the point of marriage and have no interest in it. Even if one wants to live in the suburb with their loved one and kid/s, he/she doesn't need to follow the matrimonial formula. They only need it if they want to appease other people and meet some irrelevant expectations. "Living in sin" works perfectly well, I can tell you that :-)
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I have serious concerns about a forced marriage, but introductions don't seem that terrible to me. Of course, the question is whether the introduction implies coercion, because then it becomes much more problematic.
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It's not a bad thing until it's up to you if you want to marry or not.
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Nah, I prefer the old style of arranged marriage, because no one's going to marry me if they have the choice.
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Thanks for forgetting to find me a bride mom and dad. Now I have to buy a wife, not fair! :(
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"Tzeitel you're the oldest! They have to make a match for you before me!"
"And then after her one for me!"
"So if Yente-"
"Yente,Yente,Yente,Yente!"
"Well someone has to arrange the matches!"
Matchmaker, matchmaker...
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I dislike marriage in the first place. You can live with the person you love a lifetime and have children even without it.
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Agreed, yet I'm not sure if we still talk about the institution of marriage or arranging people to be together being as a marriage or just a couple. It's getting more difficult to tell these days...
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Parents have been going "oh John at work has the most lovely son/daughter, you both like that anime/videogame/Harry Potter stuff..." as a way to try and get their kids dating "pre-approved" kids for the longest time. It's a bit weirder to actually introduce someone to your kids with the hopes that they'll get married. It sounds fine to me if it really is just an introduction, but coercion and other forms of trying to force the relationship are probably common and are unacceptable to me.
That said (and mostly unrelated), I do take my mom's opinions seriously when it comes to dating and such. While I would date/marry someone she dislikes if I really do like them, I trust that she's looking out for me.
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I support it. These days there are a lot of men and women who due to the different circumstances are not able to decide on their own and by this I mean shy, picky, workoholics, escaping from responsibilities etc. It would be easier for such people to arrange the marriage as it is practices in the MIddle East or India for example. Most of the people do not want to live alone, they just pretend to feel great as singles. Yet, arranged into marriage would help some males and females in life, to grow up, to get more responsible approach to life or just to get to live on their own (there are many people in the 30s in Europe living with their parents now than even a decade ago) My mother always says "A problem shared is a problem halved" and that's why it is better to live in arranged marriage than being single.
It is my sole opinion, if you don't agree there is no need to trying to get me change my opinion as I respect all of your opinions.
Peace!
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I'll bring golden rule applicable in any situation, no matter what opinion: if it's stupid and it works, it ain't stupid.
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I don't know the details but from the description you give here, I can't see how this is any worse than using a matchmaking site or getting help from a friend to introduce you to the girl/guy. As long as no one is forcing you and you are not too young, it should be ok. Also in a lot of cultures it is important to get approval from your family before you get married..
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Modern Arranged Marriages
So what do you think about this type of marriage ?
Giveaways :
Bloop Reloaded / 2 Copies
Murdered: Soul Suspect
The Last Remnant™
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